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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 87 · 3 months ago

SLICE n DICE

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On this episode, we go INSIDE Dave. Ok, not like the doctors did, but rather all the dirty little details of his surgery are disclosed...and some are absolute doozies! Plus we hate phony YouTube pranksters and more beautiful banter than you can shake a stick at. Oh yeah, we also have a special guest host in the form of Toby since Bate has been abducted by aliens. CLICK PLAY!

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This episode of The Selling Out Show is brought to you by our partners at Wonky Weeds. All set to relax, sit back, and just let your mind wander freely after a hectic day. Check out Wonky Weeds Delicious Delta eight edibles. Wonky Weeds Delta eight comes from US grown hemp free from chemicals and pesticides. Use code selling Out twenty for off your entire order. You can find their amazing line of products at Wonky Weeds dot com. What it does is bach isn't you have brain chemically and lo caet your happiest memory chemically and then blocks onto that emotion and pleases chemically, and then it keeps your happy happy. Hello, Hello, Hello, and thank you for tuning into The Selling Out Show, where we screw up life at our leisure for your listening pleasure. I'm one of your hosts, Dave Rangoon, and normally I'm joined by my co host Nate gore Zinski, but unfortunately he's been abducted by either aliens or gypsies were not quite sure yet, So in the meanwhile, I am joined by my good pal over here. He's been a contributor to the show in the past. Some of you may know him if you're a long time listener, and bless you if you are, and he goes by the handle Toby Schofield of The Secret Levels podcast, Toby, how are you, Bud? I am doing wonderful besides technology screwing with us today. Yeah, well you know that's what it does. They say it's for your for your convenience, but uh, we all know how that works, right right right? Oh, this GPS, it's gonna give me an easier about to school. They oh no, they just dropped me off in Lake Manitoba. Oh and that's that's the most stressful thing is GPS is telling you to recalculating. Like I'm a very stressed out driver as it is, like when I get into busy traffic in places I'm not sure where to go, and it's like, oh, make a left turn here, and you're like, what, I'm in the three right lanes over, Like I know, it's like the worst two when you're going down like the back alleys looking for prostitutes, so maybe hook up and kill look up with and then it's like, oh, jeez, just let me down the wrong way. There's a police station. Oh no, yeah, And now ways. Now, technology just tattles on you because you know, your phone tells you everyone where you're at. With all the snapchat apps and stuff like that, everyone knows that you were there at two o'clock in the morning, So it's kind of hard to just get away with everything, right, You got that right. I'm a Google Guide. I am officially a guide on Google. They keep track of all my miles, where I've been, what I'm doing it, who I'm doing it with. It's pretty wild. They have got you right where they want you. Yeah, so if you ever a look at my Google reviews, you might see some of the restaurants that I completely crapped on. And one of them, I can tell you right now. It's kind of funny because it was for a park. I took my kid too, and I found a dirty rubber hanging up on the on the the swing set there, so I took a picture of that and put that on the old Google guys. Hey, hey, everybody, if you want to play here, that's fine, just watch out. You might get hepatitis. It could be in the cards. Who knows. It's gonna be a little bit careful there. So yeah, but well, at least hey, they were careful and used to condom. So yeah, I know this is true. This I didn't think of it from that angle, right, So that's that's a really uh that's definitely a glass half full argument. But from you, yeah as well. Hey, you know it's like if you're gonna have unsolicited sex in a playground, at least you know you do it safely. You know there's lessons to be learned. Yeah, I suppose so yeah, so yeah, but hey, you know what, Toby, I got important stuff to talk about, real big news, baby. Yeah, yeah, you're ready for this. You're gonna I'm I'm buckled into my seat for some reason. I'm have a seat belt in my my chair. Everybody's gonna have one, yeah, you know, especially if it's your first apartment, using an American flag as a curtain and furniture making sist of like old car seats, like hey, this is a seat of a nine volvo, right, and this is what I watched TV And this is what I do. Got your TV up on some on some cement blocks and stuff. Semen, Yeah, cement it right up. And uh, you know, earlier I just said, hey, you know, if you were a long time listener, bless you if it's your first time, Welcome, We love having you. But back to those true blue believers for a minute. You know they've been checking us out for a while, so they might be uh down with the sitch. You know what's really...

...going on with their you know host host with the most over here, Dave Rangoon, and uh, I just had some surgery, man, and I was really freaked out over it. Yeah, I mean I have never had any kind of surgery. I take that back. Had an ingrown toenail they clipped out. Not very interesting, but it did smell like steak when they used the little heat gun thing. You know, I'd hate to deviate from this disgusting story that you're about to tell to Houpster, but uh yeah, yet again, I'm teasing big market teas here, big stuff, because I was very, very scared. My own mortality was weighing heavy upon me like a coat made out of twenty pounds cement bricks. You might keep your TV on. I've got great news. You know what the great news is? What is that I'm alive? Hold on? Hold on there? Uh that was the wrong music you sorry, everybody. That's some private stock stuff, right, there my own personal entertainment. So let's play something more triumphant, now, shall we. Ah, Yeah, that's more like it. Feel it in your bones, baby, David's a last Yeah. Oh it feels so good, Toby. You had no idea how fucking scared I was going in now. For those who don't know, the surgery itself is a hip replacement, right, and by a large that's not a dangerous thing. All people have them all the time. That's been the running gag is that you know, hey, you know, Dave, you're only like forties something years old. Uh, you know you're too young to have this what's going on here? Of all people have and they survive it, why can't I? But I got this whole thing about tempting fate? Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you don't know? Okay, okay, imagine you lived your entire you if you survived all these things. Oh, I was in a crash, a bus crash. Oh wow, but I made it. Oh And then um, I don't know, a rock fell on my head. But surprisingly I survived. And then all of a sudden, one day you're at home, chilling out making a salad, and you cut yourself with a carrot slicer and you bleed to death because you know you've just gone to the well too many times. You kept going and eventually, lady, look's not gonna show you any leg no more, and it's Clayton's for you. Got you, Okay, I got you. That's what I was worried about. From me, I'm like, hey, man, you know the life I've lived, You've gambled a little too much. Yes, exactly right. You can't. You can't keep going to the casino over and over again without eventually losing your shirt. You know what I mean. In the situation I was in here with the whole Oh, you know they're gonna put me under. I'm gonna be on anesthesia, and if you've ever been under anesthesia before, you haven't, right, you know, if I only had this, the stake ms toenail thing going on there? Right, right, But it's basically like saying, okay, I volunteered to die for a period of time. Really it is, because you know, when they put you out, you don't you don't dream, you don't anything. You're out, and then you wake up as if no time has pasted at all. You're in stasis. Do you travel to Mars? They put you in a pod? You know, so I need to ask because I've never had this. Do you did you dream or anything like when you know? So I just said you didn't hear me said there's no dreaming. Okay, Well, so I mean, do you feel well rested when you wake up? No, you feel like shit. I guess I was about say, you're coming off drugs and stuff. So I'm sure you're like loopy and not so that. Okay, you've had people inside you, which is I know that's something you've been very familiar with. You know, you can probably write a book about that. But I mean literally, you've got people into my case, sawing pieces of your bone off, screwing things in everything else, and you know, you got tubes down your throat and meters and monitors and every other damn thing going on, and then all of this then you wake up. Hey, everybody, it's just like the freakiest thing. Man. You're just giving yourself to if if you believe in a higher power, you can see I'm giving myself to God. At the same time, you're just giving up everything. You don't know, I mean, they make you sign eighteen thousand freaking forms about the complications that potentially come from surgery, and each and every one of them at the end, no matter what is and could cause death. This could kill you. We don't know, you know, And I understand it's all legally small print with some of the stuff I guess as far as like what the possible implications could be. But still they make you sign things that say you could fucking die, you know. I mean, you know, there's a warning on cigarette labels about you know, this could cause cancer, and people are just like whatever, So I mean, you know, you just you just thought this could be the one. This is this is where, like you said, tempting fate too much, and that this is the small thing that got you in the end. It wasn't, you know,...

...sky diving off of a bridge or which I wouldn't do anyway because let but I mean, like that's the thing is you just don't. So you become two people before surgery. And I assume this happens to some other people, maybe not the ones that are better than me, which is the population, but still you're two people. You're the person who's scared, terrified, so worried, and then you're a fucking guy. So you flip flow between those two personalities, um where it's like you're gripping white knuckling on the on the right into the hospital like, oh god, they're gonna put me asleep, I may never wake up again. I'm gonna say my last will and testament out loud to somebody help. And then the other person who cares. Whatever happens happens. Man. People wake up from this stuff every day, every hour of the day, all over the world, you know. Yeah, So those are the two folks living in my brain. And on the right of the hospital, I did have one like emotional moment. That was it because I was trying to be cool, like Steve yield Up, you know what I mean. But on the right end, my mother who had passed away one of her favorite musicians or basically her favorite musician with Stevie Nicks and a Fleetwood Max song happened to come on the radio, and right then I was like, good, yeah, you know, and it was a little emotional. Other than that, it's just like, yeah, well I'm here now, there's no turning back, you know. You kind of jumped into that cage with that lion so yeah, I want to ask, like, how did you did you? Okay, we gotta figure out how this like came about, like did you fall? Did you just wake up? And you're like, man, something's wrong with my hip? Or like how does how do you go about finding out? Oh, we gotta do this whole surgery on you. I'm not sure if we cover this previous episode of the wonderful program known as The Selling Out Show before or not, but if we did anyway, here's kind of a quick recap. I had a sore leg. Leg hurt really bad, like the most more activity I do, the more I like hurt. It's been going on for some months now, and so I went to my regular doctor and she was like, oh, yeah, we need to do m ryes and scanning up. And because no one, you know, when you say, oh my leg hurts all the time, they don't know what the hell you know, They're like, well, if it ain't broke, maybe there's something internally going on there, who knows. And she also sent me a referral for an or though, and so I called to make the m R appointments and like, okay, well it's gonna be like five hundred bucks and it's gonna take four hours. And I'm like, whoa slow down to Sally, and let me just go see the orthopedic surgeon first. And you know, because I had a suspicion it might have something to do with my back because I've had back surgeries in the past. Hence me again, you know, tempting fate. We're having surgeries and stuff. I was like, you know, before and I had the back problems, my leg always hurt. It wasn't the same kind of pain. But I'm thinking, hey, you know, maybe put two and two together here, that's what's going on. And then when I saw the doctor, he was like he wanted me to be more specific than I really was. And he was kind of a strange cat anyway, really terrible bedside manner um. So since he wasn't really getting the answers from my mouth that he wanted, you know, I said, you can get the answers from my mouth, doctor, I'm wondering where he got these answers now, my ass. So he put me on the table. Jeez, he rotated my hips. Yeah yeah, he swiveled me and I screamed, all right, yeah, motherfucker. Anyway. Yeah, so That's basically what happened. He moved my leg and I was like yeah, and he's like, no, no, hip joints. He goes, all right, one of him is nice and white and beautiful and the other one looks like a piece of Swiss cheese. Uh so you get like this Avian degeneration thing or whatever. So you know, for him, it was like I don't know nothing. He's like, surgery. Yeah, everybody's happy go home. And me, I'm like, dude, for real, Like do I have to do this? He's like if you don't, she's gonna get worse. So it's up to you. And I'm like, oh, do you think then maybe doctors get a little desensitized to these kind of like things and they're like, ah, yeah, it's no big deal, like you know, because they deal with this kind of stuff and they're like, yeah, you'll be fine. Like, well, doctors, I think already are kind of interesting breed. Right. You gotta wonder why doctors, with their motivations are to become a doctor in the first place. Is it money because you know the pay is good and everything else like that, Is that your love for science, for healing, for helping people. It's George Clooney. George Clooney, Okay, I mean my doctor in particular, who who will remain nameless. I guess on this program to protect his practice because I know so many people will be listening to the selling out show, and if I say any negative things about him, just harass a living crap out of him. Because some of you other folks might be Google guides too. Is this sound like I'm saying Google guys or Google guides. It sounds like you're saying Google, Google guys, Google guys. Yeah, Google guys. Where the Google guys? We're mad? We got...

...t shirts with the Google guys, with the Google guys. No, it's like the Van Buren Boys street gang. But no, where the hell was I see? Look, Toby made me fall off track here. But yeah, he's a weird guy. Like like I said, he's got no bedside manner. He's very to the point, very direct, like when you went into his office. He's got like a lot of things that celebrate himself other than just diplomas and awards. He's got like a Weedy's box with his face on it, his own action figure, which I found weird. And another thing like when you normally go into like an orthopedic doctor's office, I always have jerseys son by athletes because you know that's that's how you get your your big cred when your worth fell, right, you're like, hey this, I work with the pros. Yo, right, so I fix this guy's knee cap. But what have you? So I wasn't a big fan of him personally, but hey, you know, I I feel like I should be getting a nickel every time I say this. But I googled him and the reviews are positive. So I said, all right, well let's and roll. Let's do this, you know this, nip nip this in the bud and get daddy a new uh new hip. So so when you were when you when you were saying that he has like you know, signed sports stuff or whatever, I thought you were gonna be like, yeah, he loves himself so much. He's got like his his assigned uh lab coat or whatever it is that they the doctors were signed h scrubs or something that he signed himself, and he's got it plastered on the wall. Well that'd be a little weird. Well, he celebrates himself so much. I just kind of was expecting, like he's that big of a fan of his own word with the wheaties and the action figure that kind of ties into pop culture. And you know, even I was like, Wow, that's kind of neat. He was like, Hey, that's my shirt. That's the shirt I wear went to the gym five years ago. So I signed it, I framed it, and I put it on the wall. There's the guy. There's gotta be one very vain person that feels that way, you know, like, yeah, this is the this is the outfit. I graduated uh medical school in sign and pair of underwear. If I was wearing with all off my virginity in V six, you didn't keep yours? No, unfortunately I did not, No on ease to share. But anyway, back to my surgery thing. I don't want to talk about my doctor's underwear anymore. So I get in there all right, fast forward here, and you know, they get you in the prep room. We you know, you gotta put on your little Johnny and they get you ready and give you some pills and you know, just check your vitals and stuff like that. And so the doctor comes in. Now, mind you, I only talked to him for what like a total like eight minutes and the first time I met him. So he just struts in here, you know, morning time. Hey, how are you doing? Uh so all right, and he pulls out his marker and he starts writing on my knee. I'm like, all right, okay. He's like, you know what, You're gonna be great. Everything's gonna be great. See you later. And then the nurse who was taking care of me, he's like, hey, wait, why the hell do you write on your knee. I'm like, I don't know. And she's like, you're not having the place of surgery. I'm like, no, I'm not hip replacement surgery. She's hold on for a second, and then she pulls a doctor back in. The doctor, oh hey, sorry about that, and he wipes off my knee started writing the same crap on my hip. So that was a little bit of a red flag. Yeah. So I'm already nervous. I'm already kind of like, oh boy, here we go, you know, and then that happens to me. So luckily he did get it right. But I mean, what would have happened if the nurse didn't say anything, you know what I mean, I guess malpractice suit. Maybe I just cost myself a massive payday if you're lucky. He wasn't like riding on your chest like about to perform open horror surgery. It was just like, wait, how does that even happen? Though? Like what was he he was just I don't know, man, I don't know, Like I assume like maybe he's got like on the spectrum or something like really because the way he talks and everything. He's, like I said, he's not very personable. He's not like that kind of cat. So maybe just maybe I don't know, you read so many files in the morning or whatever, or maybe he had a surgery prior to mine. I don't know, dude, I really don't know. That is the scariest thing I've ever heard. It sucked. I was like, what you know, and uh, what if you were having your leg like amputated and he cuts off the wrong one? Come on, listen, now we're we're looking this. Let's talk about the same realm of you know, doctoring. Is that the right word surgery? But I mean, you wouldn't he doesn't perform open heart surgery. That's out of the realm of possibility. That's what I'm saying. It's gonna be some of my bones. So I mean I would have obviously, the way he was marking me, would have woken up with a new knee cap and still had a bum hip. But like I said, I probably could have suited the ever living ship out of him. Then you would have had Then you would have had had the money for the new knee and the new hip, so you would have been like halfway new on one side of your body. No, I wouldn't have done that. I'm taking that money and bought myself a floating chair so you never have to sully my foot with their feet with the grounded in That's what I do. Like my new...

...hove chair, Doc, I bought it with the money I get from your practices. I led you drive because you gave me a new hip without my permission. So yeah, but anyway, I guess, uh, I don't want to get too far, you know, boring people half to death, like oh yeah, and then I was sitting here and then I read a magazine and then this happened or whatever. But I went through the surgery. I woke up and boy, oh boy, uh, it looks like a shark took a bite out of me. Literally, like, my hip looks like Frankenstein. Did I send you a picture of my hip? No? You didn't. Oh, let me do that right now. Where's my phone. I'm gonna send you a picture while we're on air, so you can get a reactual in time. Legitimate. Okay, let me uh master technology speak while I'm doing this, talk to our audience. Well, audience, I could go back to that the tote fake smell story if you want, no, no, no, don't scratch scratch it. I'm gonna get really fast. I'm sending this picture here. How long ago was the surgery about two weeks at this point, two weeks now, two weeks out? So are you are you getting around at all? Or is it like pretty sourced? Oh it's sore. Is a motherfucker? Let me tell you right now? My oh you see it? That's your reaction hunt? How many? How many staples? Is that a lot of staples? My hip looks like Frankenstein's forehead or something. Oh my god, that's a lot, dude. I'm totally I'm heightened. Are you still stapled up, like, yeah, yeah, I gotta go see the doctor tomorrow. They're probably gonna take him out to which I'm dreading that as well the injury. I gotta go in there tomorrow. You're gonna pull these stupid staples out of my hip, provided they can. You know, the heat the wound is healed good enough, so it's like, oh nightmarish. But let me tell you, let me just get to the point of this whole thing, is that you know, surgery sucks, right, nobody likes surgery. Pain sucks. We all hate. But there's even worse aspects to this, Okay. Number one. Number one is the fact that I cannot shower, or haven't been able to shower for two weeks. So some of you may be wondering, well, Dave, how do you keep yourself clean? I wash my soup with a rag on a stick, which is true. It is the truth. I'm giving myself a horse bath, you know, like lot lizards and a truck stop. That's what I'm doing. I'm wedding. I'm using wet naps, baby wipes, toilets, anything to moisturize my skin and wash my body with some semblance of soap, which is a nightmare for me because I'm I'm gonna shower a hollic dude. I shower at least two three times a day. So for the last two weeks it's been a mess. I stink your poor wife? What what poor her? What you're not getting fully clean? I mean, what do you think I'm doing. I'm like rubbing my balls in her face like theears out he She's lucky. Well, you know what. It's funny you say that because another problem that when you have a surgery like this, you're incapable of doing certain things that you're very fond of before. And in my case, um, I have been unable to get a little bit of the Yeah. So you know, I mean, listen, it's gonna become There's really gonna come a time where my hip is back in action and I'm I'll be ready to start moving again. You know what I mean. My hip game will be strown. I'll be performing my action back to uh top ten levels like I had it before. Because that's what I'm known for, right. The ladies love Dave Rangoon because I work my hip. I know how to work, know how to move, how to do what I gotta do. But anyway, magic him Dave. Yeah, you have you seen it written on those said truck stop bathroom stalls. That's what you see. But but that's the thing, man. It's like I can't shower and I can't bang. Those are two things I can't do. So it's like, Okay, I can't move my leg. My leg is like hurting like a son of a bitch. I'm in physical therapy, obviously, I gotta take some pain meds. There's another thing too. It's like when you're in the hospital. Hey, here's all the morphine you need. We're gonna get you through this. And then the moment you get this, uh discharged, like, Okay, here's some weak ass pills. Don't over use them because we're not gonna give you anymore. Now I get the funk outta here. So you'd be real careful how you take your pills and how you manage your pain at home. So yeah, so crappy pain pills, no showers, no poon and uh yeah, it sucks, it sucks dead, it sounds miserable. I wouldn't wish us upon anybody. And here's the worst okay, uh they said the new hit replacement only lasts around twenty years. Do you tell me I'm gonna have to do this again when I'm in my sixties. No? No, Like I said, they'd better be a floating chair, hovered chair like Professor X or something from X Men the cartoon in the future, because I can't do that no way much too much. Now, what...

...is exactly the replacement? Like, I have no clue, Like do they I'm gonna sound stupid no matter what I say. Right What they do is, you know where you're normal, Like hip joint is as a ball, uh there in to socket. So what they do is they replace it with a No, it's a ceramic hamster wheel and they put a little robotic hamster that run batteries, those little round batteries that are always had to replace, you know what I mean. But they're kind of using your key fob for your car. And I think it runs around that wheel really really fast, and when it creates enough kinetic energy, your legs starts moving uncontrollably and that's how you get around and you just have to learn how to walk with it like that crazy, Like I get it cool right now? I mean I have seriously, I seriously have no idea. What is like when someone's like, oh, I had a knee replace, Like do they put plastic or some kind of metal or mine is metal and ceramic. So I have a little ceramic ball all but it's like in the middle, little metal cup on one side, and then there's like a metal ah like lacrosse stick stick to my leg. So that's where where it combines, you know. And they also had like cut into the meat of my legs, my muscles and stuff, and reattached pieces around and se new we kind of google stuff so that my muscles will control it. So yeah, there's a lot going on down there. I refused to watch any YouTube videos regarding the surgery before I had the surgery. To be quite honest with you, I don't even care now. I just want the fucking thing to work. I mean, I know what I'm going to YouTube after we get done with this, because now I'm curious because you know, like I said, no surgeries, and so I don't know what anything's like. Yeah, that's crazy Google hip surgery, hip replacement surgery. And I deserve another nickel for naming the big g Google Google Google. So yeah, so that's that. And then here I am talking to you today, and I was very eager to get back on the radio and discuss this with everybody. I hopefully I've been able to articulate the process well enough where you can understand that it completely sucks and you shouldn't do it unless you just cannot walk whatsoever. That's one thing, man, I do regret it every day, and never he keeps saying to me, oh, hey man, it's cool. You're gonna feel so much better when this is all said done. Okay, great, wonderful. Yeah, I get it. A few weeks, I'm gonna start feeling better again, Ladi, Daddy Da. But what I had to get through and go through to get there? Rather, no, you know, I'd rather just take a bunch of pain pills. I'd rather be a fucking drug addict taking pain medication every day in my life until I reach a certain age to which I say, you know what, I'm already sixty seventy years old. Now take the damn thing out, you know what I mean? Yeah, I have to go through this again. No I don't want to do that. No no, no, no, no, no no no no no. You're missing something though. There's a there's a key component here. You need to you need to now get some kind of really cool cane just to just to help out, Like something that's got like a make hid at the end of it or something, but also has like a dagger inside of it, so you can stab your enemies, you know, something cool. Yeah, well, let me let me cue some cool cane music here, let me get something going on. Yeah, yeah, here we go, Here we go a little I'm walking down the street from the cane like a crystal on the end of it, you know, would because like it was the guy John Hammond, I'll have a little amber, please me squito at the end. Maybe not in The whole point is I shouldn't have to walk with a cane, you see. So that's the point is that this whole surgery is so I wouldn't have have you Right right now, I have a walker, which is also weird. Yeah I bet so, Yeah, you bet so. I bet it's very weird walking with a wan. Yes, it's odd, I mean. And and the other thing too is I have stairs in my home, so going up and down stairs is sucky. Assume the whole thing sucks. Oh yeah, nothing, nothing sounds like it's going your way with this whole old, entire situation, and he almost had surgery on your knee stairs. No, no, poonanny, Yeah, yeah, how do you say that again? You call it pol ny. That's a weird way to say. I say poo nannie, you say poon nanny. Seeing a lato, I say tomato. Let's call the whole thing off. Yeah, it's a it's a Texan thing, I guess maybe. Yeah, you fucking Texans. Had to have my surgery in Texas to Jesus, and you know, every hospital here too. It's like, I went to a hospital called Methodist. Don't even know what a Methodist is. Can you tell me what a Methodist is? No, everything doesn't have a religious designation, and they asked me to. You know. That's the other thing too. You set all those papers about dying and they're like, hey, so this case we need to call a priest or anybody. What's your you know, religion. I'm like, what, No, No, I don't want to designate any of that stuff. All Satan, no, all geez, come on now, I don't want to get that far. I was saying something more comical, like I don't know I go to the Church of Bananade Saints, the Chiquita's or something,...

...and they like they got like, I don't know, bring a banana vendor to my bed on my to make my last wishes come true. I don't know, but I call like Dana Kroyd or something, just something really random. So Dana Chwoods like who raise occult books? Yeah, I'm sure he just fucking hop up whatever he's doing, and be like, hey, there's a weird random guy. You listed me as an emergency religious contact down in Dallas, Texas. Gotta go, bab. I think he's married to Donna Reid, who's probably still a smoke show. She's probably eighty thousand years old. She's probably hot as hell, right, But yeah, but anyway, enough about that. I'm alive, I'm good. I'm gonna make it. I but I did. I want to get on air, and I want to talk to everybody. Let no, I'm okay because I had a few people concerned for my well being and I appreciate that. And I did post something on Instagram the Selling Out Show at Instagram, wait, not at Instagram. On Instagram at Selling Out Show. I had that all backwards because I'm a moron and I am on pain meds right now, so a lot daddy day everybody. Um, if I screw it up, I've probably been doing it the whole time and not even noticing it. So what I have an excuse? I guess there you go. There's a good thing. I've an excused for everything. Hey man, you just made a fool yourself on online on this podcast in the last thirty minutes. Dude, I just had hite replacement surgery. I'm on pills. I'm suffering. Oh it's okay. This one slips through the cracks. Mulligan. Now be careful with with medicines and going online. Roseanne, remember what happened to her a couple of years if she do. She was on ambient or something and she yeah, so I don't even remember what. She tweeted, something that was just like really like whoa, whoa, And then she's like, oh, yeah, sleeping pills or whatever. It was an allergy pill. It may be crazy. Yeah, Well, Luckily I'm not an anti Semitic or hateful person, so I don't think anything like that's gonna come flying out of my mouth anytime soon. But you know, as far as stumbling over my own word words, and maybe mispronouncing things or using stuff out of context that that's probably been happening. So feel free to let me know what I screwed up. Any way you want to messenger pigeon, uh that Instagram I just mentioned, you can write as an email selling out show at gmail dot com, or I don't know, leave a Google review, leave a Google review with the Google guys, Google guys. That's right, that's right, all right? Anything else? You want to talk about my surgery? Any more questions you want to ask me, Toby, you want to interview me anymore about my my woes? Um? I mean, was there different styles of hip? Like did they come in and like ones like leopard print and they show you even you like this style, and it's like when you select your credit card now they have like licensed one. You can get a Disney one, right right? You know mine looks like a cassette tape. So I figured, next time my hip just screws up, I can just stick a pen in there and it's kind of crank it and it's gonna be No. Nope, As far as I know, they're all pretty standard. Even though you know you just made me think of something fairly significant, I wanted to ask. I completely forgot to, like ask for the brand. It's probably like in a piece of paper they gave me. They gave me like a fucking warm peace paperwork. So it probably says this is made by like, I don't know, fake company name here. Um, you know, give me a fake. I'm asking you, come on, give me a fake. Put me on the spot. Oh god, I was trying to think of like hip and like Mart. But then like I was like, well, no, that's not the brand. Yeah, that's the last thing you want to see. Oh your replacement from hip Mart, the hip replacement superstore discount Scalore. Come see Uncle Ed. Everything's on fire everyone, here's a hipster. Yeah, there you go. Was the was the one from terminator sky net skynet. So there you go. There is all my hip replacements via skynet. All right, so let's get off of that. Let's get off of my hip. Like my doctor did that first meeting, um my cries of pain probably gave him an erection. I don't know. He didn't say to me too. He's like, Hey, I'm supposed to be hurting people. That's what I do. Okay, jerk off, But you know, what doesn't hurt Toby, something that's not painful, something that's not inconvenient, something that you can like totally enjoy in life without any baggage, any problems. I guess what, you don't even need an insurance to enjoy it. Those are the partners of this program. That's yeah, and we got a We got a few of them, and I want to mention him right now because we get some cool keupon codes or actually just want to keep on code singular not plural. But it's applicable to pretty much all the promoters here and it's a really darn good one. So first up Alpine Hemp dot com. The CBD revolution has arrived. If you haven't been taking CBD or have tried CBD to heal you or deal with a lot of ailments that you have in life, whether it's any kind of pains, aches, or even stresses, now is the time to check him out at Alpine hemp dot com. Look, they got every...

...product under the sun you can think of, even if your cat or dog is stressed, which does happen. They got pet products, baby, they got it all. Oh you know what, I'm not really cool with taking capsules of taking pills. I got a gag reflex. Hey, I don't blame you. You can take a tincture or get an oil or even get a vape juice with CBD in it to help you out there, So make sure you check them out. Also in that same category, death by Gummy Bears dot com and Wonky Weeds dot com. Now they got your delta's over there, and they get your c B D s over there, so they're definitely worth checking out. Northland Vapor dot com. Now, the Northern Vapor is the only e liquid that I will, in fact vape, and I am a heavy vapor As a matter of fact, when I was in the hospital, I was vaping in my room. I'm not kidding, but I was Mr Incognito Mosquito. I felt like crap. I'm like, hey man, I need some of my blue rats from Northern Vapor. So, like a kid get about to get in trouble for like reading in his bed, I tucked my head underneath my blankets and be like, oh, there we go. Hopefully no one comes to my room in the next five minutes. I just freaking chimneyed the plates out. But listen, Northern Vapor is awesome. All their eloquies or Dike tone and artificial sweetener free. So even if I was breaking the hospital rules, I was doing it in a more healthy way. Okay, so definitely check them out at Northland Vapor dot com. Now, all those companies I just named, not only do they have great stuff to sell you that you should be checking out because Christmas is right around the corner stocking stuff for his people. But now you can save off your entire order with code selling out twenty. That's right, selling out twenty, save off every tang. And then, last, but not least, we have spunk Lube. Spunk Lube is a lubricant used by professionals in the adult film industry. But why let them have all the fun? Now you can have spunk loube delivered discreetly to your front door by visiting spunk lube dot com. Try him today and you can thank you later. All right? That does it with our promos. Here are little spots, but normally we would have a Nate's Notes segment. Nate obviously he's not here. He's like I said, he's in parts unknown getting prodded. Things are happening to him. Um, I don't want to gypsies could have been. I don't really want to elaborate too far into that or kind of speculate what could be happening. Use your imagination if you like Nate in that kind of way. Start thinking kinky ship and it's make sure you get the smunk glue Betty. So, I guess I'm gonna wrap up the show a little, just free form combo. How does that sound, Toadster. Hey, I'm all for that. Yeah, you're done with that, because something's really been pissing me off. Okay, I'm gonna sound like an old fogi here, but hey, I get I get the fake hip. There's another thing I can get away with now, right, I got a fake hip. I can be get off my own Yeah, I mean you know that's I think that's one of the like card carrying membership things that you need to be a grumpy old man. Now. So you're you're pretty much getting there, right, I'm playing a grumpy, curmudgeonly old fuck bingo. Uh. YouTube, Okay, I got a ten year old son. He likes YouTube. I get it. Kids are all addicted to YouTube. I probably talked about this and noause even the past, but recently, he's been watching these shows and they're like pranks, and they're being performed by people who already have different programs on YouTube about video games like that. You know, they do their mindcraft videos or whatever, which I found harmless enough when they were on one of them. I know the guy's name is Preston, but that's all the information I'm gonna give out. So if you know what I'm talking about, great, If you don't, I'm not like giving more clues because I want to promote them at all because I'm about to complain about them. And when he watches these prank video as they put together, he is laughing. Man, he is laughing his ass off like nobody's business. And I enjoy laughter. Who doesn't laughter with a child, It's a beautiful thing. It should bring a warmth to your heart and soul. But then you want to be involved, so you go, hey, man, what are you watching? Let me check this out, and you sit down with him. You start noticing these are all a bunch of rich, privilege fucking white kids doing the stupids pranks. Aren't even one fucking funny thing about him, Like one thing they were doing. Okay, guy's got a house. He's got his own house on a little private island here in Houston. And so the whole gimmick was, we're gonna keep him trapped in a ball, you know, like one of those giant hamster balls they have that games can fit into, and while we go trash his house. And so they're like slapping bologny on his mirror and they're acting like this is the funniest thing or worst prank that could ever conceptualize on the face of the earth. And one one thing is low stakes. And I get it because you know, you own all this stuff, and you're trying to make content. You don't really want to trash the things that you own. You're trying to make it seemingly look like you're having a great time pulling these crappy pranks. But then I was like looking at my kid, and he's too young for me to mention it. But I wanted to be like, Oh, if you only knew like the old Big Brother videos or Jackass or like those guys were those guys were dangerous. That was funny, you know...

...what I mean? Like when um, I think it was like the first was the Jackass movie, when danger erin pretends to be a terrorist and that they blew all the pubes to his face and he had no ideas pubes, but they hired the cab driver. And these are all spoilers if you haven't seen it, but me at the time playing a prank on the prankster himself and then doing it in such a gross, raunchy manner that they did that was like hilarious. Man, I'm like, that was like next level shit, you know what I mean. And it's not like these guys who all came from money and whatever and make money from just like posting crap online. It's not even original. Yeah. Here, my kid is just having the best time of his life watching these carbon copy pieces of junk come up with crap that I could have probably just crapped out in a random Sunday afternoon. But you know what, maybe I envy him, I don't know, because they can get away with it, or maybe I just hate him because they're they're talentless hacks. I don't know. Do you do you feel that these pranks are so like lae like kind of weak sauce kind of pranks. Do you think it's because they are rich kids so they haven't really had bad things happened to them, so like they don't really know the real world, or like you said, is it just to like, oh, we're doing these things, but really we don't want to mess up this expensive house and you know we're responsible. I'm glad you brought that up, because I do think they recognized their audience. Okay, they probably realized their audiences between the ages of eight and sixteen, right, So the last thing I want to do is anything too nefarious or bad to which a parent's gonna complain or something they're gonna get pulled off YouTuber. You know, I understand all that and stuff, but I mean lose their ad revenue. I don't want that because obviously they know a bunch of it, like they got merched and everything else or whatever. But the fact that it's like they're not even trying to I don't know, man. But the pranks like oh, it's buried in shoes and sand, wait till he gets a load of this. It's like, okay, man, I just don't like what you're selling. I don't like the way that you're promoting it. And it's not really prank. It's not even I don't know. It's just so fake, it's so scripted. So like, for here's the other thing, right, I'm sorry I just mentioned earlier, like I really hope I'm articulating this stuff well pain pills. Sorry guy, but but like listen, like I just said, scripted and what have you. The guy is trapping his little bubble over there. Do you really think he'd be like, oh yeah, totally like squirt catch up all over my house, do you know what I mean? Like he would want his crap trash that's where he lives, supposedly everything else. So I think that the most riskiest thing they did, in fact do was slaped bologna on his mirror. Oh no, you need some windex my bad, you know? So there, Yes, I agree with you. Those are pretty lame. But here's the alternative. Like I love pranks so good prank is great, but I don't like the pranks where they physically mess with people, like like dump water on just someone walking by, like they're they're in a city and they just dump water on someone as the prank, like you just ruin someone's day, like they could be going to work, they could be I'm an adult. I don't have time to be have water poured on me and you know, get me all soaking wet. That's a bad example as a dumbass prank. But like I see people that are just shopping around Walmart or something and and they'll put boxes over people's heads, and I think those are just they're they're not funny because you just piss people off and then they the creator wants to act like the victim when this person wants to beat the living ship at him because they don't want to have any of that nonsense that day, you know. I like when the prank have you ever seen those? I don't mind scare pranks, like when they get out of an elevator and there's an evil clown or something. I think those are funny because it doesn't cause any kind of damage to any of the items I'm holding on me, or it doesn't have changed my appearance unless I ship myself as of the words out of my mouth, you piss your pants. Yeah, But like the ones that like leave something like those, I've seen people where they like they they'll throw like flour or baby powder at people and it's like, yeah, I mean you can dust set off, but that's still like an inconvenience, Like, why the fund did you mess with me? I don't know, you just for your YouTube channel and your clicks. Those are the ones that don't like. Yeah, well that's there's lessons right there. I would have been famous if we taped half the crap we did when we were kids. Well see, and I I would have done the same ship. I was a little punk ass skateboarder kid when I was younger. We stole curbs and picnic tables and like we we fucked with people, and we thought we were fucking way cool. But I'm an adult in the house, so I see that other side of like, hmm, I wouldn't want to be messed with. I wouldn't want you know. Uh, I don't know. I just maybe two is me because these kids are driving Tesla's and like I said, have...

...their own, like you know, a few story homes and everything else. Because they're making money off YouTube doing like this thoughtless idiot crap. I'm like, what are you contributing to society? Have you written a story? If you've like written a song, No, no, no, no, we just freaking uh yeah again, I'm gonna keep going back to the weld slap bologning on a mirror, or tied our shoelaces together, you know. And you said, they're all these rich white kids who are doing it make it even more money, you know what I mean. So we'll see. I would rather my kid learn these dumb pranks where you're like, oh, yep, you got me, rather than getting some real trouble trying to recreate jackass stuff, you know, or get hurt super now, I listen, I want my kids to have a little fun explore and you have some stories, but I don't. I don't want them to, you know, swallow goldfish and try to puke it up. Yeah, no, no, I hear you. I just need to talk to you about this now. I feel bad for bringing it up. See what you did. Well, it's just it's it's like trying to balance, like I get where, like how fun like the the jackass style stuff is. But now but now as an adult, I'm like, well, maybe those innocent pranks aren't so bad. Let's cut all this out and just get to the root of the problem here. I don't like him because they're making a ton of money and they're very unoriginal. Hey, I'm I'm with you. Have you seen that Ryan's uh toy reviews? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, sure, sure he this little kid. I don't I don't know what the channel is. I just know of it because my kid used to watch it. And I remember one Christmas walking down the toy house. That little fucker and I hate to say that, but that little fucker has toys on the Walmart shelves. Ryan's toys, It's tradicted. I think he's got a video game. There was a video game making bag. Bro, he's Jeff Bezos baby. Yeah. Yeah. Are we dumb for not making our kids, like, you know, to make bad pranks? Like should we be pushing our kids to do this? I know I was always like afraid, perverse to be watching the video. I don't want my kid on like YouTube or like some weird over with weird fetish can watch something. But I was like, yeah, I should have done that. I really should have. We could be uh making a lot of money apparently doing this kind of thing, because that's the other thing. Case will click on anything, so it's like if they link, Okay, the slapping Bologny video, which sounds perverse and dirty the way I just said it, And I've been talking about it a lot, so that's really weird too. But anyway, they throw a link. Okay, watch this video, watch that. You can just go. Okay, click click click, click, click click, just one after another. Everybody's getting their clicks, everybody's getting their views, bigty band, beaty boom. So yeah, Hey, you know something's been weird that I've been doing on my whole rehabbing from surgery thing too, is I gotta I gotta get up and walk around. That's one thing that's been surprising people. It's like the day of the surgery, they get you up man, because they don't want your blood clotting in your legs and stuff. Um. But when I got downtime, I've been doing a lot of reading. But I've been watching obscene amounts of television. When I say o'b scene, I already did watch obscene amounts of television. So stack that obscene on top of another obscene, and for some reason, I just pure laziness. I just would watch Shark Tank, or I have been watching Shark Tank incessantly. It's just like an easy thing to digest. I could do other things while it's on. That kind of thing with Shark Tank but at the same time, I'm watching these old episodes of Shark Tank and then I'm googling Google these uh, these companies that made deals to see how they panned out after you know, they made the deal with Mark Cuban or missed a wonderful or whatever. Most of them fail. Like them, I want to say, I'm throwing out random number, but there's a lot don't make it, or they did not fulfill the deal, or things just didn't go their way. Yeah, so that's been my life for a while here, just sitting there. I want to say it again, researching on the internet what happened to these companies on Shark Tank? So, yeah, Shark Tank too much for me, guy, They all keep coming the water, these people. I kind of used to do the same thing with Hell's Kitchen Is that Now? Which was the show where Gordon Ramsey would go to the like other restaurants and be like, when was the last time you clean this freezer? And he bitch about everything. Mouse was scurry across the countertop. Yeah. I loved how bad that show was. But that's the one thing I was wondered, Like, I love the episodes where they're like, you know, they have a recap of like three years ago, we came and visited Bob and Linda and that reference Bob's Burger's by accident. Anyways, Bob and Linda's restaurant and uh, they're doing better now or they closed down shop. Like I always like those update videos. It wasn't Hell's Kitchen because that's his competition show M Kitchen Nightmare. Yes, I don't know what he's got like forty shows. Yeah, him too. He's just as bad as the YouTube kids. You know, asshole, he's gonna face like a bulldog, that son of a bitch. Yeah, but yeah, you gotta you gotta...

...do the research, right, you canna find out what happened to these you know, and you said they show you some of the recaps, like the same thing on Shark Tank. Hey, what happened with the people who invented the cooler that has a radio built into it or whatever? Okay, we sold fifty million dollars with the sales in the last five years. Okay, Well, then again you go online to like failure failure, failure, failure. Wow, holy cow. So the other thing too, is this whole anybody who's familiar with the show, you go on, You dictate the terms, you say, this is what I want for how much equity in my company? You present the company the idea. Even if you get a great idea, they really only care about how you're doing in sales because they want to make their money back on the investment. You know. But every single one of them, every single one of them always overvalues, excuse me, their company. They always go in and say, oh, I want a million dollars for ten percent, and evaluation is crazy off whack every single one of them. I think, like that's a mandate when you go on the show, like, oh, you know, I have a reasonable offer for the sharks, and the producers are like no, no, no, no, You're gonna go in there and demand like ten times more than that. So they can, you know, rag on you and make fun of you because again it's scripted. But yeah, you know, I I honestly think like a lot of the Hell's Kitchen and all. I think a lot of that kitchen nightmares whatever. Yeah, yeah, I think a lot of that is not maybe a scripted but they play with the camera cuts and like what yeah, the order of stuff happens, So yeah, nothing's natural. Nothing not even this right now, this is natural. I have someone holding up a Q card telling me to tell you right now that this is not natural, and to make sure that you download all the episodes of the Selling Out Show whenever you can, and to tell your family and friends about it right now. Thank you, Jeeves. So yeah, yeah, no, nothing's really real. Everything I'm fake because I got a fake hip. Everything's fake, right, Yeah, we're gonna get out of what Toby, what are you gonna say? Because I'm trying to kick us out out. I was gonna ask, what's the next body part you're gonna get replaced? Oh? Geez, I don't know. I have no idea, no clue. I don't even want to know it. Let it be a surprise, I was saying. I was saying to my wife. You know the whole thing too, about the surgery thing. It's like you're so nervous when you go in there and then like they have to give you the innesthesia to make you kind of happy and then fall asleep. I would rather just be tranked like an animal, you know, like yeah, someone just one quick like dart gun, Like yeah, I'm just like living my life ordering coffee or something, it's and then all of a sudden, like it dart hits me in the ass and I fall asleep. They dragged me a where they don't even know what. I don't even have sign anything. I don't know. You're at Starbucks like ordering, like yeah, I want to try this, and you just hit the ground and just I would never drink Starbucks, okay, first and foremost, but yeah, exactly exactly. Like I'm in the line at Walmart is something checking out self checkout deep and all of a sudden, in my neck it's past up and see I wake up and I've had like botox, like I don't know LiPo section. Guys, what happened here? I'd be a good service to offer, would be my new company. I'll bring that shark tank. We will try and your loved ones, and if they never wanted an elective surgery, we'll give it to them, provided you say it's okay and they wanted it, we'll do it for him. About to say how many lawsuits you're gonna be for like guys being like, yes, my wife wants the biggest breast you can give her. We'll be we'll kind of be like a satellite operation will be moving around from town to town in a van. We don't have one base operation. You know, it'll be like Jack of Orkian. Uh yeah, totally. But I was anyway, we gotta get out of here. You know, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here kind of stuff, because I definitely have to go take another pain pill sitting here is I watched that before we go Grim Cutty this morning. If you heard of grim Cutty, I have not so on Hulu. You have Hulu. I do have the Hulu. Okay, you guys, the premium one. No commercials to commercial baller here. Oh on Hulu. Commercials are the worst that they are. They're so bad. I was trying to watch that new show The Patient with Steve Karell and like it stop every minute and a half with Hundai and then fucking whatever commercial. My Jesus is more commercials in there is show, right that we cut our cable chords for this crap has control. That's what we did. But Grim Cutty was all right. I didn't know I brought up. I'm not even that enthused about it. You think if I was talking about be like, oh it's a great movie. Yeah. I was I was I was expecting you to hide it up, not like leave it on a wet part like. Man, Well, you know, here's the thing. I think it's socially relevant to uh technology and as a parent, like how kids use technology and stuff like that. So if you're looking to that kind of thing the whole, like the allegory, maybe I don't know if the allegory is even the right way to say it. Anyway. Yeah, that's that so um Yeah, Toby, thanks for join to me today. Yeah. I...

...appreciate you filling in for Nate. Well, I appreciate you asking me. It's good talking to you again after such a long time. It's been so long. It has been a while, I know, the worst two has been so long. It's been months and months I haven't spoken with you. And then I'm like, hey, how you doing, man, how do you think going? All right? Okay, I have nothing to report. I don't know that's I'm boring. I guess that's good. Good to know everything. Just say okay, it's all right. Month after month, day after day, hour after hour, second to second, everything's okay, man, Just just living love, keep living it. Do you want to hype anything or promote anything before I keeck you out of here. Yeah, you know, you can go check out my retro video game review show called Secret Levels Podcasts. It's on all the major podcasting platforms. Uh. You can go to bad Secret media dot com to find all the stuff I'm a part of and whatnot. Um. I've been streaming on Twitch on Tuesday's at seven pm Central Standard Time. Lately, we've been watching some old, old commercials. Um. During October we watched a bunch of different like Halloween type commercials and stuff, and they're so bad. They're good. But you wouldn't think you wouldn't think you'd want to watch commercials. But it's so bad it's good. So that's the good stuff right there, right, just like bock it make fun of it. Oh yeah, that's all we do. And there's a bunch of a bunch of friends on there and we just cut up and laugh about it. But I also play video games on there, so Toby von Doom on Twitch and Toby von Doom on Twitter and Instagram and all the other stuff. So yeah, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. All right, Well that does it for this installment of the Selling out show. I want to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to tune in virtual hugs for all of you. I am Dave, that is Toby and this has been the selling out show. Why on me it's easy for me? I gotta start running away in my far disease, Franck quick, So why did you learning me sick? So conning it's eat in the same way you just get my loving belove.

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