Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 8 · 3 years ago

Ep.#8 Friendship

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On this episode, Dave and Nate discuss at the concept of friendship. They touch upon their own camaraderie and look back at some of the relationships from their formative years. The good, the bad and downright ugly. They remember those they’ve lost along the way, and acknowledge the impact they had. Our friends are the family we choose, and families can be dysfunctional. But what would life be without them?
We’ll hear listeners shout out their own peeps on the Selling Out Sound Off, and Nate’s Notes looks at the magic of one’s first band, and how profound and complicated those friendships can be.

5:45 Conflicting Origin Stories
11:21 Online Friendships
18:50 What are a friend’s responsibilities?
25:00 Old Dogs, New Friends/Living with Cujo
31:20 Early Losses
41:40 Selling Out Sound Off
49:20 Nate’s Notes
VISIT OUR PARTNERS
www.mittenvapors.com for all of your vaping needs! Use code sellingout for 30% off
www.sudio.com use code sellingout for 15% off
www.spunklube.com Buy 3 get 1 free

This is no ordinary subshot. This isfirehouse upstired of overpriced lunches that under deliver on flavorhead to firehouse ups, where for a limited time you can get a FO. Ninetynine choice, UF choose from a medium smoke, Turkey, Virginia Honeyham orroast beef. Their custom made hot subs and a price ready made to make yousmile just four. Ninety nine, only at firehouse sups enjoy more subs, savemore lives, participating locations plus tax on Te time offer preces me Arifor delivery. Formarymediayou were now in the sellingout oge. What it does is: Breaches Adew, O brainchemically and o Kacyour happiest Memory Chenically in locks on thatemotion, rased it chemically, and then it keeps yer happy, happy, Andlo, hello, hello and welcome to theselling out show. I am one of your host Stevin shills and by my side, is my pal,my good buddy Ma Garzenski ate. How are you this fine day? Did? I am bothawesome and awful. I just came of am- and I just came back from an awesomevacation down in Myrtle beach in South Carolina and relaxed and came back withhorrible cold. I'm fighting through it I've this horrible raspy coughing voice,and I just to keep it on the animal thing that I always do. My folks were able to watch my animalsand everything they're all still alive. So that's good news and kept with my mo CD SORTA keeping it with animals. Ah You know so my mind is not going crazy.Like I kept the steadiness of my o o, you know what I'm saying ot, butanywayyou get the Carolina Croup and your parents, despite keeping you alivefor that many years, you actually kindo had a worry that they might kill yourcats wellyeah well mind ou, it's also four cats, so you know but uh, butanyway, that's enough about them. I just wanted to, like I said, keep itwith the Animal Moteef Animals Ma. Actually, I'm looking at my dog rightnow h, he's gazing back with a loving eye O. I just look at him with disdain.Yes, hatred, Hatrerthis fucking thing I wanter! Can we get him away? Can we dolike a contest on the show oo that sounds good man, I'll just I'll justput hem in a box I'll ship, 'em yeah ere needs to go the winter yeah ask W,which listener wants a dog, then Um. You know we could send to you, but Idon't know, I don't know if it's legal, I have no idea it probably isnt. Itmight be a fun litle thing to do. N and it'd be a burden off my back, my kidwould cry for a week. That's I'd be doing an Irish Jig in thebackyard. You know what I mean so, but you know we're not here to talkabout animals we never are but welwe start because you are the Animal LoverYeah, but we are in fact here to talk about friendshipn. You know yeahfriendship, the evolution of this stuff because me- and you have been friendsfor God- knows how long Io years and years and ar but back then we met inthe nineties, is a much different way or there was a much different wayrather of meeting people than there is now- and I say this largely because of thethe Internet of court right, of course, when we were teenagers, you met someonein school. You met someone at a concert, whatever mutual friends and that's howyou get to know somebody, but a lot of the friendships that we have now are.Are Co cultivated online yeah. It's bizarre! It's a new world, my friend,it's strange that we've been alive like I mean, there's, obviously always thisevolution of of Um Technology and whatnot that that it's it's gottenfaster and faster and more right, yeah, but our generation I feel like has seenso much of that I mean just the Internet alone- has been you know withsocial media and it's it's just amazing men. But it's funny. You say technologybecause maybe maybe the automobile like you were you weren't able to be friendswith someone in the next town ye before before cars became a regular thing.It's interesting, but yeah. It is interesting. But now here we are andlike we're just mentioning with the Internet, you can just jump on Twina.You can jump on a message board. Whatever the case may be and meetsomeone of like interest and o like mind that you may you know, hit it offwith a little bit and, and I mean how...

...many people- I don't have anystatistics in front of me. So I'm basically just talking out my wac hearthe norm, but how many people have meonline and just fallen in love? Imean dating sites. are this like farmers, only dotcom which, which wouldbe great for you, with all the horses and all that stuff,but I mean there's that little nich thing for everybody or any kind ofinterest. I know deman it is. It is really interesting. I mean I've. I Ialways mention how the advents of this social, media and whatnot has yeah it's.It's done wonders for friendship, as far as like I remember, being a kid andI'd be out at a restaurant with my family and some random, older woman oror man or whatever, would come up and be like Margo to my mother whatever andbe like. Oh my God, I haven't seen you in you know decades and they knew eachother from high school, but now nowadays like even people, I didn'treally hang out with in high school. I know how many kids they have, whattheir kids look like, what they did for a vacation like it's. Just like theconnections you had in you know during Youth Contiu, you knowwhat they had for lunch rits. You know what I mean you haven't seen them intwenty years, but because of facebook, you know that they had a frigking, cob,Saly fucking nuts dude, it's great. It is this, and actually before we go onthe Internet, stuff ere online re, I kinda want a reminiscte okay, you wantto do that with me. Les Go in the way back machine. Let's take a walk downmemory lane! My friend. Do you remember the first time you met me? I rememberwe were in, it might have been Walmart, it was. It was inline at a stor if I'mcorrect Um and I was there possibly with my family, and I think you werethere with a friend of ours, Gary Gary Joyner and Um, to put him out there andUM anyway. I remember I was friends with Gary. He introduced me said. Oh,this is my friend Dave. I think you guys would get along and we exchange phone numbers or something.But anyway, that's that's my memory. I don't know if yours more vivid, UM,remember e H. I think so I well my thing. Wasn't a Walmat. I remember GaryY 'cause he's out there Ur and he picked me up. Oh No, he picked you up.First O went ont, joy, riding or something and and we stopped at like aconvenience store, okay and we got out of the car and you were so god damnedtall. That's my first memory of you. I got out O ca. Like looked up at you,I'm like Jezus Christ. Look at the fucking size of this guy and thenthat's that's. The only member Y have okay yeah, so I don't know whathappened, maybe maybe drugs yeah and years a hard living, yeah kind offoggied up our memoryr. I mean we're almost on the same page right almostwell. I t the reason I brought up. The Walmart thing is just because Iremember briefly meeting you and exchanging phone numbers. Maybe we havetaken that drive together, but I remember you calling me and we we spoke-and I remember we talked about soup at some point. I don't know why, but youand I just randomly just like hey. You know we're both into music, we're bothintoh this and that, but as teenagers. What's a more hot topic to discuss thansoup, what Kan o? You know what I mean so, but I show that we're both on thesame page, we're both willing to discuss something like soup on thephone, a couple of wait, yeah, you know so yeah, but either way you know we.The rest is history, as they say, but a blurry, strange history, but we did also attendhigh school together, an this eserin point, because we lived in the sametown, a we. You know our towns were neighboring right kind of flipe backand forthbut. Even then in the early nineties, that was the traditional wayof meeting someone through a mutual friend and, of course, through HighSchool Sur. I mean some of the earliest friends I ever remember making wereeven in kindergarten. We have a friend named Bob Yeah and I met Bob we're fiveyears old and it's not like when you're five you've like hit it off and you're,like I'm going to be lifelong friends, manager and throught all the years weweren't always the tightest Resa r. We are still friends to the tate and Iwant to say very close friends. We talk in a regular Bas and about deep stuff, but I mean that that's like the mostpure form of meeting somebody. Wyou were thrust into like a situation whereyou have to fuck and go to school and the you go. You guys are paintingEaster eggs together and making pet rocks, or whatever here and lookingthirty five years later, you're still got texting each other on a Sundaynight and absolutely I know to be hons. I didn't know that you knew Bob fromthat age. I'm sure this isn't thrilling to our listeners. Tho, don't know USpersonally, but that's just it. It is cool when you have a friendship thatlaste so long, and I mean we've all been through some really test. Onething I will say about these long, lasting friendships is that personally,the friendships that that I have that have lasted the longest. I feel like,for the most part they're, the ones like you and I have where we've bothbeen through our rough patches and I've. Seen a lot of friends fall by thewayside as far as I've pushed them away,...

I've burned bridges. I've done a lot ofstupid things in my life, but you and I have both you know stuck by each other.I feel like I I will say I always appreciate thefact that you've been somebody. That's you know, that's been there for me inmy hardest time, so here we are in a love fest on our podcast today, but tbut they're. Honestly, man like you and I we've been roommates um at differentpoints during our lives, and you know you see the dirt. You see the the goodparts and the bad parts when you live triter, and especially during thoseyears man I mean. Our friendship was such that I will point out like to toillustrate what our friendship was. Like. I remember nights where t the drinking and whatever had gottenout of control to the point where you were punching through windows in theapartments, and you know bleeding all over the place. We'd be fighting andyou'd be like throwing your blood from your broken. You know your sliced uphand from breaking the window and then in the morning we'd help you bandogyour hand up 'cause. We were just all good friends and shit happens. You knowwhat I mean: We're al a bunch of fuck up yeah an we all, Wer F. You knoweverybody had their own moment to be like the worst of the crucher at onepoint in time, but I do remember that night Ye. Oddly enough, I remember thatyeah and that's too bad yeah. You know here we are looking back and I go jeeze.Why would I do such a thing? Why would I be such a Maniac Ri? I would nevereven consider doing something like that now, but again w with chemicals andalcohol in your body, and you yo think and you and even then Bob I enBeinbargin, Oh my God. Yes, he snapped a bone in his wrist on my skull and youknow whatever bygons be bygone and it was like no big deal. We Lat. U Sureman!Let me let me switch gears a little bit here. As over the years I've startedcollecting some online pals who don't have the ability to crack my head openso na. Have you ever made any unique connections online yourself? I stillhave not I'm aware that. That's that's not abnormal nowadays, but I don't knowthat I've got any friends on facebook or social media that I don't reallyknow in real life. You know, maybe here or there, maybe someone since westarted this podcast has reached out and spoken, but nobody that I've gottensuper close with, but well there's pen pals on steroid. You know because it'snot like back in the day we ri to Lett in to fuck in France and have to waittwo months to get it back. Now you can just talk and and once you startrealizing that you you and that person are more like or you have the samehobbies and stuff. You share pictures because I mean realistically I'm notsaying like nude pictures, I'm I' like Hey Powel, it Mi, but you know what Imean like you post things on social media anyway and I I can say, there'ssome personal experience like with conic books like I get talking topeople on line about comics and stuff and on a Sunday after I go to abookstore, I'm like hang in and check this out and I'm sending this to youB'cause. I have no other friend yea that might be interested in it and I'mprobably going to post it on the social media anyway. But Hey you know. I wantto talk to somebody about her WANTA. You know do that, so I I've had many relationships orfriendships rather now over. I want to say over the last five years withgroups and again just just swamp thing, I'm a huge SAM thing s. So there's afacebook group. I don't touch facebook. Now with a ten foot poll, I hate thatShit is evil, but still you know and sharing comics and stories and thingslike that. It's a lot of funsure. It really is you just can't, take it tooserious, absolutely man, you know, and, and I, but that's what I mean, theculture of or the the definition of friendship and what has has changed somuch because of this social media. Where you do get very close, you do. Imean even pen pals back in the day when you write something it's like, I feellike you're, you get really you can get really honest and, and your thoughtsare coming out on paper uninterrupted by social ces or you know, verbalinterruptions, R, whatever, so you just rigt and Um. I Know Times that I'vebeen in jail or prison when I've written the people. I feel like that'ssome of the most honest and deep M, that my thoughts and my interactionswith people have gotten whether it's with friends or family or whatever,like th. The written word, does a lot and online. A lot of your interactionsare written words, so you'V, I feel L that the potential for it to be veryintimate and close is, is there but again we're separated by the screensand the distance between us, and I don't know what that does. I mean Idon't know. I mean 'cause, for example, like thereare band members of bands that I've listened to. Since I was a kid Umskinny puppy, this industrial ban that I've loved. Since I was you know,thirteen years old they've been around since the early eighties. On facebook,I interact with with one of the guys Thans pen and- and I know you canfollow anybody- you can interct. You...

...can technically be mhm friends quoteunquote with anybody, but this guy actually responds to me and- and I feellike yeah, he probably does that with a million people. But as a kid you didn'tyou didn't that unless you were like a it was a fan, male scenario, and evenif it was what are the odds that you were getting back a response from afaring letter as a kid? It's it's interesting Nou. It's it's Y. Ah, it'spretty cool is what I'm getin for no totally man and for you as band members.For me, I remember in the early o o yeah, two thousands getting on themessage boards and like talking to comic book creaters and it's being likewow. This is so great because you know before at that time. Let me stop myself. Itwas great, then right but ti to be able to have that that rappapoor or thatconversation with those guys. Now I it's worse, because you don't really want to always knowwho people are about hat scenes, especially people that you idolie, but I I would quickly want to talkabout what you said about the walls between iter, because as a teenager, Iwould talk on the phone for hours with my friends whos you we have anotherfriend that we nick name Floyd up that I would talk to I mean I would hang outwith you guys and then go home and four hours on the phone with you guys. Youknow. But now you can't get me on the telephone here. I do not want to make aphone call. I only iy like the taxime whats it I'm with you. Yeah Ma knowit's true. I know how strange is that, like this social media, the textingwhatever it is, I mention how it's it's a good thing to be able to write yourthoughts, but but now switter, specifically you've got the limit onyour letters, your you know the texting. Is You K ow? You only want to write somuch and you're writing L, OLS and IDC, or I don't know and whatnot- andit's like I don't know what that's doing for us. But as long as we stay intouch with our friends, I think it's okay. I I think things are veryconvenient now but uh, but the more convenient life gets. Maybe the Lazierwe get as humans and I always say imagine what wit would be like if theyjust cut off all the power and and all the Internet access and everything andwe befyes yes, O W. Nobody Wuld be l oln den Noboy, nobody does. In thefirst place, I had the biggest issue with L Ol and if anybody ever sends whosends me one, I get really mad yeah, because I I say dude: Are you reallylaughing or wasn't laughing out loud welaughing? Thank you, Hi you're, notyou chuckled, that's themost! You get you get a diids. Maybe yeah do Lolm llmao Ye. Ok, it is, you know, don't do that to me. Don't o that's a BS, that's Hene! I can tolerate, but yea Idon't know what it is because it's not like. I exactly don't have time to talkon the phone, but with my son with my family like a lot of times, I amdistracted Si. So I am doing my own thing. I'm I'm working an my project orwhatever the case may be so I'd rather just be like okay, I'm going to sendyou this message o. What do you think about Thursday? And if you get back tome at your leisure, when it's okay for you and it's no big deal ye yeah,that's can be no that's great. You know, and in any ways that's how myfriendship's with you guys has in fact evolved because those same wellTallet's use floyd, for example his I know the listners was hatus using allthese insider names or whatever, but still he's a guide. I've been friendswith hit, since I was a teenager that now there's no pressure on when we haveto talk or how we talk, R, whether it's by Videoo Chat, texing or whatever, andif we don't talk for six months, it's no big deal w. We pick it back up likewe didn't skip a beat YEP YEP 'cause, we've been friends for so long and it's a it's kindo weird, because ifYouhad told me this back then I'l be like I get the fuck out et. How can webe friends if we don't talk every day right? You know yeah, it's weird. It'slike friendship at your leisure. You know at your time like you can a, andeveryone is pretty cool with it. You know. For the most part, you don't havea lot of people that are like well screw that you know you're notresponding to me right away what the Hell's matter with you and I'm surethere are those people, but I don't know our friends are the ones I talk todon't seem to mind it so much if you text them and then you don't get backto them for fricking a day and a half whatever it's not a big deal, but Ihave a tricky question for Youer with what are the responsibilities offriendship, the responsibilities? Ok, I feel like for true friendship. I wouldsay like being somewhat forgiving of once. You know someone's quirks and youknow how they are you're a little you're. If, if, if you're not able tohandle that shit, then don't be friends with them. You know what I'm saying,but once you've agree like once, you desert our friends if you Kinda, evenif it's not the way you are, I would say your responsibilities are to justbe a little. I wo, I don't know how else to say it. Forgiving of of theircap understanding. There you go...

...tolerate tolerant, that's word,something like that being tolerant of your friends and then yourresponsibilities, yeah just t to be there for them when they need someoneto talk to. You know, that's a good one if you're available to help them move.That seems to be a big thing. You know I have a truck a pickup truck, so I Iend up being that guy. It's I callfor a ride. You got Ta Move Shit, then youknow conde, which is fine and I'm willing to do that. You know and Um,but I don't know just to be able to to help someone and to be there to listento be a sh to be is shoulder to cry on Dave. You know. Well, you know it's funny, because I was thinking tomyself. Some people expect others to be like theyre and allbeal of of need.Yeah, like Oh man. I need some money you're. My afred give me some money buttha like, for example, that's not something I ever require of any of myfriends or my number one criteria is, can you put up with me? My strangesense of humor or the way the way I talk you can you can relate to thatwe're good yeah. That's it. You know what I mean like you, don't have togive you a hug, so you don't have to you know the shoulder to cry onwhatever nd. Of course, I'm going to call you up text you rather and betchyo about something, but I mean that's expected, but still there's, no, like hgrand requirement of being a friend or anything. You know no manyou're right.You know it's Kinda, it's kind of fluid the definition yeah the responsibility.It's a little fluit, it's a little flexible. It boils back to what youtalked about when we talked on the phone for the first time and we werediscussing susut and speaking of flight, maybe maybe and boiling, but I mean if, if Youdtalk to another kid, you'd been like Oh yeah, chicken noodles, better than acream at Broccoli and they', just like Yeah Wha, this fucking kid's Lig exacty.But you know I always wone it's like well. Actually you might have somefairlist Lus. You know explort this. The goofy sense of humor that weiredoff beat yes mind. I we we flock together birds of a feather EA, so Y. Ithink that's the big thing there and now I know pre show we can discuss Tis alittle bit because you you mentioned family or, like you know, some people oyou consider your spouse, your friend R youres. Those thing you should shouldbe Separat, I think, years ago they were like. Oh, my wife is my wife. Mybest friend is Jim, but now now as times ave progressed and people havebecome more emotionally open, or I guess, or whatever it's like well she's,my wife and my best friend, you know you th, you think that' applicable hereI do personally, I I get along grawith Carley. We we have a great time. Weboth I mean there are enough differences between us, where it's notjust now, they say opposites attract. I don't know if I agree with that, but II think that you need don't know Ma. Maybe it would be perfect if you foundsomebody that was exactly like you, but personally I've got so many quirks andissues. If I found someone exactly like me, I I I think we should do a murder,suicide together and just fuck inbecause, because no there thereshould not be two of me in the world, but but anyway, the point is like Ifeel like. If your spouse is, is your best friend you're in a good spot, bro'cause, you spend so much time with them. You know you Wa. You want to atleast get along with them y. u, hopefully you share a chuckle about thesame thing. You know you're able to to discuss. You know whatever I feel like it's it's important to befriends, 'cause. How else you going to sustain a relationship if you'replanning on being together for thirty forty years, if you're, not goodfriends, I think you're, pretty fucked man, you know yeah. I just think it'smore of a surface thing, because people want to say it how many people ahundred percent meet it because labels, you know, definitions. It'slike he's. My best friend name, my friend, she says she's Thatbut, likeyour wife, you g, you're Gonta, have someone else to talk to about her there.You know to bitch about or complain about there you go. You know thatfriendship, that's unique in his own way, but oes that make that person yourbest friend, more so than your wife or spouse or significant other would be. I mean I D, n't n e, getting a tion,her yeah when you know when you start like like numbering and labeling tothat level, I don't. I don't think th t, that's so important. I think it's justow when you, when you want to talk about one person, you need anotherfriend to talk about tha an and get shit off your chest, and eventually Imean it would be cool if you had the relationship where you could actuallydiscuss your issues with the person you're having the issues with, but weall know that that's not always possible, so I mean for the most part,it's it's good to have that line of Communication Open with your spouse.With you know, just just so. If you have a problem, I mean, if it's notsome horrible thin, if you, if you can deal with it without, you knowaddressing it personally with them, then great. But if it's somethingthat's such an issue like, hopefully you have a line of Communication Openwith your spouse, where you can 'cause,...

...otherwise you might be fucked. You knowF Y in a relationship and you're like. Oh, my God. If I don't talk to somebodyabout this Git, I'm goingto go nuts. I'm going to leave this person and omight be on shaky grounds, but and atherapists right away, O go seesomeone right or whatever just leave themyeah. It's not my life. Do whateverthe Fuck Yo. Had you know Yeur, you do you yeah exactly you know at this ageon our life. Do you find it easy to make new friends HMTHAT's? I don't Idon't. I really I I mean like I said I meet people online now than I do inperson yeah, because I'm a fucking, sheltered, weird ohey and just leave hiscouch know, but I mean I just I'm not the kind of guy. That's like out there.You know networking trying to meet a bunch of New People, but again I meetpeople from podcasting online and that's pretty cool and stuff, and I canconsider them friendly or acquaintances, but I'm not really out in the marketfor a new group of Pals Yeah. No, I'm with you man. I it's odd because thatseems to make sense. Like the older you get e you're Kindaf, you kind o set inyour ways. You don't want to expend the energy getting to know someone andtrying to like you know, just start Thi. It's like Jesus, so much work startingthis new fucking friend. One thing I have noticed is that Idon't know the older I get. I feel like it's almost I I feel like I've got or tolerant I've.Maybe it's the places I've been, I remember, being a kid and being sonervous. The first time I went to Weprison, for example, or went to adetalk or went to whatever some kind of facility associated with my problems ofaddiction or whatever I had um, but I feel like, ultimately those thoseexperiences were good for me, because I I noticed that being in in jail anycellmates, I've had I've had a lot over the years. You know I mean you gothrough multiple sellmates in one sentence like if you're in there for ayear. They move you around enough. Where you may have you know in a yearyou might have twelve or thirteen cellmates over that course of that yearand Um. I feel like I've, never really had much forproblems in there tha and the problems that I have had like. I had thishorrible celly one time who yeah, I guess as a kid his head had been runover by a car in soft well in soft sand. So it was enough where it didn't hellhim. He lucked out Therean, but it fractured his skull and Um they he asrhe had a metal plate in his head. You could see all these scars on his headand, as a result, a the dude had to relearn everything he had learned sofar. He was like four years old and it's like Hehad starte over at four butthen another. He also had a lot of trouble kinda like keeping his emotions in check andhis anger, and there was some issue where, if usually when you pass out soyou get hit in the head a bunch of times like Gen, a fight or whateveryour body will pass t eventually just to protect itself. Like all right stop.You know you need to 'cause. If you don't stop, there's some real damage Hobe done. It's like a safety thing. Your body does, is knock you out andsmacking right. If you wthank you, so this dud didn't have that. So he waslike relentless ind. IC I'd seen the dude fight they calld, so his name injail was Kujo, his nickname, so Kujo, yes, friend, lary finly do. But I wassally's with the student and, like I said, I'm easy to get along with dude,and this is one of I ma the in all my years of having selmates there may havebeen, you know three or four that I just did not get along with it all, andthis dod was the worst. And U I I don't know I could go onto a whole thing withhim. But my point is those experiences help me to justrealize how different people are and how to get along with people, and I Imet a good Kujos one of them, people who have saidTude, I don't know what it is. Every celmate I get is an issue. I alwayshave problems, so it's like they always stick me with cellmats that I don't getalong with it and it's like. Don't you think that maybe it's not the cellmatesthat are the problem, if literally no one you've ever lived with, has hasbeen, you know, you've been able to get along with them. Maybe it's not tem.Maybe it's Yubut, you weren't ready to sit down with cu joe and Tom Io Ocean,O n, it the guy with the name like Kujo. That's, not you know Advi, but you have to you know at the pointin that cell, that that jail for some reason they had upd the time you'relocked in, even though it's not a maximum security jail. It's like aregular medium security. You were locked in twenty one hours a day,meaning you've got out for an hour in the morning an hour in the afternoonand an hour at Nigto sit on the block...

...on the tier and play cards with peopleor whatever the rest of the time, I'm locked in with Kujo and UH. So I had alot of face time with Kuja. You know what I'm saying like he taught E. Iwill admit he taught me some cool games like playing cribbage. I learnd Ow toplay a bunch of card games just Um, so even with the worst of the worst, I'mable to glean something from them. You know and and yeah you know Y H, but I'mjust trying to say like Y, you Andcujo have not stayed in touch and now meanYo matchos. So backnad, you know what I mean it's like and I'm not trying tocut yoon, not at all B T, but I mean like cujis. Definitely someone youwouldn't go out on a dinner date with Sur. You know, or you know,recreational fun time and and that's what I'm trying to say about me. Yes,is where I might meet somebody and be like: Oh, he seems nice or whatever B T,maybe even go out and do something or hang out, but I'm I'm almost like yeah,I dod Mi e, my stock. My stockroom is full. The friends already have that. Ireally don't pay enough attention to Sur. I don't know if I really want Ta.You know start adding new friends to the list and it's not that the person's a bad human being or oranything like that, it's just like I'm just a a Dick, I'm an asshole and I feel like I'm, setwith the friends that I have well that's Selfawareness, for you too,though 'cause that's, that's the exacty Akuzo didn't have that Kujo didn'tunderstand why nobody was cool enough for him to get along with you're sayingI'm enough of an asshole where I you know, may have trouble having newfriends nowadays. You know I may I don't want to go through that Shit, andI I don't know, that's that no, it's like you're cool, yeah, you're, cooland cool. We can play fantasy football together, verdoper, but I I don't watchyou fucking callng me every weekend to go out and have a few drinks orsomething yeah this you know I'm not allowed to do that different levels offriendship. You know what I mean: Ifen Cheer Yeah Your System, but Y MHAN UM.Just I don't know how you know how much longer we're going to discuss this, butbut I wanted to bring up a a good friend. I mean I I I think I'll mentionhim a bit more in nates notes, but you know we have friends growing up thatwe've lost. Obviously over the years and Um Right. I had. I had a F. my first friend that Iremember dying was when I was fourteen years old and a good friend of mine names, Robert BobCharette. We call him and Bob was you know he was an awkward kid. He was aredheaded kid with a lot a he had bad skin. You know we were awkward. Kids,we were, you know, you' go through that awkward period, but his father used toconstantly berate him or give him shit about how you know you're. You knowyou're not talking to girls or you're. You're kind of you know you're a losorthis and that and he gave Hem alot of Shit. I remember going, you know BobCharett's, father being a Dick and Bob would talk about him at school and W atand his father. Just a little side note was a cop, and that was one of thefirst experiences of me like hating, a cop and realizing that you notice apattern of cops being that kind of Asswhole, tough guy. So anyway, that'sthat's my issue, but but BOB at one point ended up killing himself. He tookhis dad's gun and M at first. There was a lot of confusion as to whether he haddone it accidentally or not, but I found out later on in life that no there wasn'tnote. I talked to his a sister, and you know I am full of cheerful happyanecdotes here, but losing friends is a part of life that you know is you have to get used to it at somepoint 'cause, it starts happening more and more. The older you get and- andBob was I remember- It's funeral like it was yesterday. I remember the day atschool after it happened where they took all his close friends and invitedus to just sit in the counselor guidance councilors office and justtalk all day. If we wanted, we could skip classes and whatnot, and Iremember all those scenarios that that death was was a bigexperience for all of us friends growing up like we it it brought a lotof us together. You know to a different level than we probably had been priorand yeah you're, all so young Gamen, like we were kids man. That was likeeighth grade ninth grade somewhere between there. I think it was the endof e eghth grade where it happened. Nobody nobody's emotionally equipped todeal with that kind of shit at that at yeah, just it. No it just asn't happens,fucking crazy, Bro, and you know, and over the years we hadother friends that have passed. I know you know. A good friend of yours diedin that same school. You know the sweetie that died. You Know Kevin Ser.He was an older friend yea. He was a few years olde than me, but he was likethe first friend I had and I want to say jeeze what was I like. Sixteen orseventeen years old and yeah, he was the first person I spent like weekends,camping, shrips Wih, all this other kind of Shit, and he just it was likeall of a sudden thing. It is a shock and even then I didn't know how to dealwith it like. I was already a rebellious kid and that just kind ofmade me even worse in in many ways,...

...because I didn't think anybodyunderstood me. I Din't think y Idy understoond my emotions, my the way myfriends were feeling about everything and it was uh. You know those are the some of thosethings a I wish I could. I feel bad like. I don't want him todie all over again, but if I had to go through that again at that age, I wishI had the insight that I have now mhm not to overreact, like you, Kno in abad way and Tryig to celebrate somebody's life in a positive manner.Rather than is being a fucking absolute little prick about it to everybody else in the work H, youknow yeah yeah, but when you're a kid you don't know how to handle youremotions that shits alllos. What I'm saying and the ESS is tough a and thoseare the experiences that that teach y you know and an lessons can be takenfrom all of them. 'cause I've, ship Ben we've had a lot of friends go over theyears, but those erve yet just to bring up the first first experiences thatwe've had as of as teenagers with friends dying. You know that's right. Ijust something had to be said about that and yeah. It does bring the Group offriends that remain closer together. I think, and had a lot of friends die over the yearsnow, the Olde you G, yeah yeah, the old that you get. The thing is t at changesright RSO and when we were kids, you said the suicide. My my friend Sweedi'sdeath was health condition, s kind, a unexpected thing to happen, but then,as we grow, there there's a lot of drug over doses. Yea a lot of mishapshappening in that area, and that was a tough thing to have to a tough pill tohave to swallow. You know because not only were do we have friends that welost due to these things, but we were also experiencing provems of addictions,ourselv right right, you know, and even then thoghs weren't, like soberingenough reality shattering events to make me put down the bottle at the time.Nd right right. Sometimes you gotta you just gotta go through Shit, you knowwhat I mean you can't you can't be told anything and you just have to gothrough it yourself before you learn. You know, unfortunately, but even evensomething like a friend dying doesn't doesn't stop you necessarily 'cause. Iknow I've had a lot of friends that have overdosed and UH orcome close, youknow. Sometimes you see friends and you think they're going to die and they youknow- and it was a close call to the point where sometimes it it shakes themout of their addiction. But, but to me I you know, I, I struggle Twi Shit, therest of your life a're, going to struggle with you know if you're anaddict, so it's I on't, know it's strange, but an we dedicated our firstepisode ha memory of Andy Jon Right, which was a mutual friend of ours andGod the adventures we went on Landy Man. That's I only that's an episode, atk, aentire fucking episode, 'cause! Oh my gosh. We just crazy. She absolutely-and I mean I kinda when I when I was talking about friends that died rightas I brought it up. I I kinda was hinting about him, but I realized I Italk about him in my nates note segment coming up so so yeah I'll bring him up more then,but anyway, so yeah. So the moral of the story heres appreciate your fuckingfriends Assol. If you listen to the podcast right now, Lell, don't turn itoff, O O as it for a second set ot tax or in Naxe case, maybe a call becauseyour yourplace ar human being than I am and say, Hey. How are Yo? How ol arethe kids how's moge how's, the fucking cattage PATC in the backyard N,something ded ad him, the God, a Gu Na mother Fuckit, just just be nice yea,do something nice and itst always have to be to a friend anybody in the world,because life is short and precious and I a piano is about to follow my fuckinghead, obviously, by the way I'm talking, but but still I'm glad to have thefriends I do have. I I did mention that it's tough for me to make new friends,but that's on me, R that'sh, just my personality, who it's like wh whenyou're a kid you don't like Broccoli, but then you learn to grow, grow tolight Broada. Well, I'm at that point where I like the Broccoli. I got don'ttry to give me something new if that makes any sense. Actually that makes nosense whatsoever. I am rambling on, but Fr friends are good to have. Broccoliis good to have friends and Gria yea. What do you say? We take a commercialbreak, so we return we do so. We talk a little bit more about friends, becauseI went on Twita and asked a question so we'll do is selling out sound offsounds good, we'll see on the other side, Brokhey from the selling out showhere, and I want to tell you about a company. I absolutely love Batten,vabors com, whether you are a notict or an experienced cloud. COMPANINOR middnvapors has a wide variety of juices to tickle your taste buds and all theaccessories you'll ever need. Mitten vapers dotcom always providesoutstanding savings on superior bay products, ship fast and straight toyour door. Right now, fans o the show coal use codes, selling out for anadditional thirty percent off, I'm enjoying mittenvapers Pigky, asweetes Moo Candy, all Davi, and while this has become a personal favor tomine, you culd spend days trying all the flavors that they sell. Don't wasteyour time with all the coil killing...

...junk from the other bait companies outthere, I'm a vapor, and I want the highest balldy atd the best price andthe place to get that as been papers, got com visit them. Today. Don't forgetes codes selling out at Chick Oupor, thirty percent off some products,Containe Nicotilue, adult son, wrthe podcast. That tells you storiesabout what people have done while drunk well, also giving you some facts aboutbooboos and the bizarre and the places where these stories take place. We alsohave a weekly contest where you tell us where the SI am so join US fear. Somedrinking learning and laughing can listen on eetunes stitcher, spotify,Google play and anywhere else. You get your Podgot Finus all mine at twitter,Instogram, an fasebook at GOPULSA podcast and send us your o families inAnniton, AAlso email, your storiestopot pogtest, a email, docom epedaanare youin the market for a great pair of head bones. Let me suggest what I use theregent from Sudio dcom. The region is a premium on air model, with impeccableclarity in the instrumental tones and well balanced sound with twenty fourhours of active battery life. An twenty days of standby life. The Regan is aperfect Companiono, be at home or on the go. The combination of highpolished metal and Mat surfaces and bodies, the vision of ScandinavianDesign Sudio, wants to revolutionize the way people see headphones, not justas a technovice, but also as an accessory sudio provides a product thatmatches the quality of even the highest rated headphones in the market,orveraction of the cost, and they always provide free worldwide shippingand right now, fans of the shoav saved fifteen percent off of all of theirproducts by using codes selling out a checko. That's right! Fifteen percentdoesn't get any better than that. I'm wearing my pair of regents right now,an I can tell you. They are the best parent headpones I have ever owned. Sowhy wait shop sudiodocom today, INFIRMAYMEDIASURJRP Jerturr, and we areback as promised, with the selling out sound off every episode I like to reachout to the fine folks on twitter and ask in their opinions O on basicallythe topic that we discusse every episode. So this time I asked tell usabout your best buds, namely how you maintain those relationships over time,whether you see them daily talk on occasion or if it's just a sock puppet.We want to know the evolution of your friendship and you know we get somegood responses here. Some of them are a little bit long, someody Geves, thecondensed version, hope I'm not insulting anybody who wrote in 'cause.I still appreciate it all the same, but ob Rolin. Here he was one person thatresponded and he kind of touches upon wet we're discussing earlier about yourspouse, being your best friend where he wrote, I've had wonderful friends overthe years, but none match my friendship with my best friend in the world. Atgalawalks we bonded over a love of music sharing songs with each other dayafter day we've worked together play together. We've learned new thingstogether he continues, but this is a man deeply in love. England bless youfor it Bob Absolutely. You know that's a sweet thing. I actually had torespond to that with like a a dude crying. It was a very emotional thing.Y, U knowtthat's a wonderful thing to have again. I I mentioned earlier. Iwasn't sure if it was the appropriate thing, I don't know answer if it isn't,but still to feel that is totally good ete. We have the world famous Carlafrom the go postal pocast who deserves her own segment on our show, becauseshe's always responding, always kind enough to give us a a piece of her mindand in her reply y another long one. So I'm going to have to shorten this alittle bit, but she mentions her friendship with her, her cohost Michaeland how therewas a point in her life that she was buying stuff for her newapartment at IKAEA and she had a boyfriend who was in anal and she wassmelling candles with Michael and discuss the ends and outs. If you willhaving that kind of relationship and h an good choice of words, yes Oro, no it,I is a good choice of words and she will herot. Yes, our friendship hasbeen unbreakable and very close. Ever since she even performed his weddingceremony M, THAT'S GREAT! So there you go from talking. ANEL IN IKAEA towedding ceremonias, an you know: Inoto you may nowkiss you, you love a baby,that's wis! You know yeah, absolutely you may now, but fuck the bread,wellwhatever whanever to get op their own baby. Oh, we also have molissaMiller here. We all love Malissa Miller, a Li. We halkg about her a little bitlast time Iwas and she wrote people who call their spouse. Their best friendare so gross, and now I'm one of them. We we werefriends for years before we get together, so he is young Agg, my bestfriend gag other than that Messenger...

...and dinner parties keep people feelingclose, so she's mixing h breaking bread with people withtalking we're talking with them online. So that's kind of a Combo rigt of whatwe discussed. Earliy right, onman, that's a good na nice sure absolutelydude. THANK YOU MELISSA AGAIN! Thank you all, but thank you Melissa.Definitely I just want to say that Wy not tell her so whyo. I thanking herokay. I didn't want to imply that I just wanted to say when Melissa res,like you know, she's somebody that I appre well, we appreciate you, you,like Melilia, better, that's what you're trying to say you like ot batterthan everybody else. We've just been responding back and forth emails andwhatnot. I feel, like you know: She's she's, an interactive, a fan. If youwill, you know somebody a little more interactive than so. I Know Carla. Wehave interactive fans, Jack Razuco, but I just wanted to bring up that Nolis.We do appreciate it and whatever we appreciate you all, I'mtigging myself into hole. You are you're connecting our favorite childhere. So let's move wach. We also had this Guy Joshua around nicename there pal he actually responde o my whole sock puppet comment by myposting, a video of himself with a puppet on hair, which is I a weird, buthe a right that most of his deepest and longest lasting connections beganthrough confrontation, which I find interesting as that's not something wereally discussed much earlier. We're in here you may be an enemy with somebody,but over time is you mature? You mightjust, develop a friendship whoknows right right, Kayand last but not t least, we have Reggie Hemmingway atReggie Reggie on toar the host of the cosmic treadmill, which is a fin mastic,podcast shameless plug for you, theire buddy, because you know you get to seeall these wonderful things about Melissa and Al. He was sendme a rapvideo on you tube. The title of the Song is the ghetto O othat meansreggies down in the hood: Yep O dot Ulife dug life making his friends. Youknow langing with people pouring out forties, whatever rench does, but but now I do want to think everybody isa whole, not just one particular person. I always appreciate when you guys AHreply to my tweets and to Sirour Account, which you can be found ontowhat O at selling out show. If you ever want to reach Oud to us, or you canwrite us an email at selling out show. Actually, it's selling out show ATGMALDOT com so happy as wone o yell ants on emphasizing the you know, I'm just afucking wild man over here, and we also have a phone number, which I can'tremember right now, which is a texture I mentione earlier, have a texture,yeah, so I'll have to throw that up somewhere else or whatever, but alreadythat was the selling out Soundo we're going to take another commercial breakand when we return nates notes Dav from the selling out show here, an o tellyou about. Spanklooponloon is a multi award. Rinning Hoovergan used byprofessionals in the adult film industry, smok is available in Hybran,pure silicon, natural and pig spok is made with the highest qualityingredients and his non standing hypoelogenic an cleans with easeenhande. Your love like with span right now, spunk Luke, is by three get onefree. There's no excuse not to give it a try, Punklu high and Brodic for anaffordable price in its Mulu Dot Com. Today- and you can thank me later- lets en and stay frenzy motor speed,Wan Watch Main Crean infectits Plean Tarbo plassles seals off thecompedition ind, his demastating Aspen draggahe, rolling, Thundercar, andscrank up the sixteen vow madness in his overbloan and Deadley Ow Comow Baiwatch the make boys rambange down the MOL, PAG spred and interect Mahem withfive Wednesday may had tohead neck and roaring down the POL list of deathevery Wednesday. While the enectricity holds owt. It's it's it's professorfriend I yoothey t show Frantao the show aste n a show if you like,Indi comics and also like pudcasts, please try. The professor frenzy showfind the show in itune search and facebook episodes tweeded out on atProfessor Frenzy on twitter. Thank you, Ododour LB in time for NAT nogrowing P,as we did in a somewhat rural, not...

...quite suburban town in Massachusetts.Sometimes it was harder to find a lot of people who are into the same kind ofmusic unless you were happy being spoon Fed all the pot music on the radio. Butby the time I was in high school, I was already approaching. hipster status, asfar as my music tastes and snobbishness were concerned. Granted in the ninetiesthere was a period of time where the lines blurred a little starting withnervana's, never minds and the following: Alternative Music Explosion.But before long the airwaves were again filled with vapid derivative bullship.Only now it all sounded like knockoffs of Nirvana and Pearl Jam or whatever Igot my first Bass Guitar. When I was twelve years old. I had some friendswho also liked to jam, but it wasn't until a few years later that I foundsome real gratification in a couple musical endeavors that kinda happend,simultaneously, one of which was the result of some late night partying withmy friends, James and Andy. I had picked up my old base and for somereason, started playing the Rif to ministry's STIGMATA. Andy knew thelyrics and Kinda just shouted them out being without amplification, whileJames just kind of banged out the song signature drum, beat on pots and pansor whatever was lying around. I could be pretentious and say that we weredoing something artistic and industrial Allah test, epartment orEinstersandenoybountain, but truthfully we were just drunk teens, trying toplay a song without the proper equipment, but a seed was planted.James got a drum kid shortly. Thereafter, we invested in some vocalamplification and before long we were writing our own stuff. In James'sparents' basement, we never even got a guitarist. I was so used to playing thebase alone in my room that I would kind of play it like a guitar with cords anddistortion or other effects. Within like a year, we decided to try to booka show at a local club and nearby Worcester. I remember calling thebooking agent for the place and while on hold, we realized Sh. We don't evenhave a name for our band. Looking round the room, my eyes settled on Andy'sshirt. It was made by the nineties era: Clothing Company Split boothere was ourfirst GIG was booked. We got a bunch of kids from school and a lot of otherfriends to show up and our journey had begun over the next few years. Weplayed every few weeks at that club, the Expresso Bar, which I've mentionedin an earlier edition of Nate's notes or at one of the other handful of clubsin the wistermass area. Eventually, we branched out into other places. In NewEngland, we recorded a CD which was super cool for a high school kid, likeespecially back in those pre pro tools home studio days, L Ke. Nowadays, anybands can record a decent album at home with a little money for software, butthere was definitely something cool about driving to a studio. Back then,and working with an actual engineer, it felt professional it felt like we werein a real band. I mention that because, as a kid there's often this disconnectbetween your own dreams and talents and this unobtainable status that wellknown bands have achieved and sure a lot has changed since, but back thenman, it was definitely a cool experience for a kid you know, N and,and you Kinda had to do it back then like there wasn't all that we'. Youknow. We've talked about technological advances and things like that, but butI kind of think the magic, maybe it's just me being an old Fogi, but I feellike some of the magic has been lost when don't have to you know, but it'sfinancially more accessible for people, so all around it's good yeah, but byorigin. Yes, you mentioned the seed and ha as still alive an well. I canremember when I first ARD new music with a couple of the guys. It was justa tapping on notebooks, recording, wi h with a cassetterecorner. You know and just recording our little Jans and we had no equipmentbut overtime. We ended up buying that and, of course, starting bands muchlike uch, like you guys, did and H so that that's that's still there butyou're right where it's ust so much easier now for people to us be able todo it on their their home, computer, sure, man. I know- and I mean gettingback to the band itself, though this banned was, as I mentioned, just theresult of a couple of friends jamand out and we had the same experience. Youand I, with Floyd and with others like you know that there's something reallymagical and cool about a couple: kids getting together and gaiming out intheir parents' basement or whatever...

...it's like. You know, there's nothingmore pure than that y. You hear stories F of bands that are put together bythese conglomerate. You know corporate people, you know the exact opposite ofthat is the beauty of kids, just loving, music and saying Ey. I kind of figuredout how to do this cool thing on this instrument. So, let's, let's work fromthere, you know and R newer. We hat our influences, and you know all of ustogether, Baris and pot, and make something cool right. Like would a boysay you know Sawdust and Scotch Tai Woud take like you know, somebodycreated something in a you know and and the leftovers the the you know whatevercame off at Thesawdu, so to speak. He puts it together and creates his ownthing out of that. But it's Om. You know a good way to describe influencesand how you make something out of your own influences and interests, but yeahman, like you know, we we mentioned friendships. You know throughout thiswhole episode and talking about the band split that I was just referencinghere, Um Andy and James and myself, you know we were. We were good friends, weandy and I ended up being roommates the he was the first roommate I had out ofmy parents' house. You know when I was a teenager moving out. You know we hadsome great adventures together and our place that we moved to the firstapartment I ever I ever moved to was it was a nice place. You know it was great,but you know the it's weird where we were in our lives back an like, despitebeing so young, I had just started getting strung outon on heroine a my issues were getting out of control and to to give a littlemore backslie Andy had we had been playing in this ban for a year or soalready. You know when I was still in Hig school before hi moved out of myfolks house, and the band had started getting some breaks, not not hugebreaks, but any time a bigger band would come around we'd end up gettingput on the bill and opening for like a bigger band, and things were startingto happen, and it was cool, but Andy had this opportunity to go to schoolfor, like sound engineer like music production, but it was down south likein North Carolina wherever he was going, and it happened to be right at thepoint where split our band was starting to see things happen, so it was like hehad to go. Do it he was like this. Is You know, ultimately what I want to dowith my life? So he went off to school and Split. Had some decent showsbooksayou know for while he was gone, so we had to find somebody new. Weended up getting this dude who had gone to our shows was like a fan of ours,and he an this other. This new guy was like you know he was. He had alreadybeen a front man and other ban, so he kind o knew what he was doingultimately and he's lyrics and- and you know I don't- I feel like Andy- was alot more talented, but but this new singer was great at getting the crowdspumped up. He was Kinda. You know he was that Nineties Front Man. He was awhite dude with dreads diferent kind of energy. You know E, definitely yeah.Definitely andthe Andi was more intellectual and you know listen to a lot o. He listened to a hip,hop and and art different artists for the message and and the skills involved,whereas the new singer Kinda, he likes the energy in the VI and won't youhands up, put your heir exactly t fucking nineties right but but anway. When Ande moved back fromschool to you know he he came back to find that the band had progressed stillin the meantime, that's when we recorded our CD actually while and hewas gone so when he came back. The question was like: Do we just put Andyback in the band and the CD doesn't even represent? What we're doinganymore, because the singer on the CD isn't in the Banningwor, so ultimatelywhat we decided was so have both of them, so our band now consisted ofdrums base and too vocalist. You know, there's no, Dr! No Guitar, no o! Youknow keyboard anything. It was just. It was an interesting line up and Um. Ifeel like I fel like it was those were some of the best years in my life beenplaying those shows with with both of them. It was a really good time, butandis friendship was superimportant to all of us. I feel, like you know, AndyAndy was that dude when we were in high school that, like you, know, he's thefirst dode. I knew that, like in my group of friends who had a car an wecould go drive to shows in Boston or wherever and m. We had a lot of greatadventures. Man, I mean the strange thing was when, when Andy moved backfrom the south from school and we ended up getting that apartment together, welived together, but he hdidn't really...

...understand when he came back. Like thethe point where my addiction had got to like he, he came back up here and yeah.He'd see me getting high every day, H, 'd, even he'd, even noticed that I'd besick without it, but at the time, like the finances weren't out of control.Yet I you know it didn't seem that bad and after you know a year, however long itwas of US living together, all of a sudden, it was like, Oh shit, you knowI can't I can't afford to rent this month or whatever it is it wasot comingin the issue and not just that I' Um. I you know, shows that we'd book, all ofa sudden, I'd either be sick. Ori'd, be I'd, be unreliable and he's and it puta real strain on our friendship, and I I bring that up because of the irony ofwhere things went from then like yeah, our our friendship was strained was andrightfully so, like my actions, were you know enough to strain anyfriendship. He was a. He was a saint for for hanging out with me, Contin youknow continuing to, but did after a while, when the bands decided to break up itwasn't it was like some huge issue that broke the band up, our our friendships.Kind of you know they weren't completely ruined, but we just decidedto break the band up because, as kids we're thinking hey well, we we've donethis much with this band. I'm sure we can do it again with another ban. Youknow you're thinking, yeah thegrass is always greener until it ain't to it'sabsolutely trun because yeah, because we as a result ever since then it'slike I haven't, I personally haven't been able to recreate that magic orwhatever it was. You know, R or with any level of success. I mean there'sprojects that we've done you and I, our our musical output over the ears, I'mfar more proud musically of what we've done than I ever was with what I didn'tsplit. But you know the public is usually moreinterested in a good beat or something accessible which split provided thensomething more interesting and Exteriminar Meg Wik. You and I did inour prosing Milassis three thousand. So the point is the band breaks up, Um,Andy and James. You know singer and drummer move off to San Diego. They goto California. There you know do their own thing and I I got strung out worsethan I already was and m a lot of things happen and then overthe next God it must have been close to te yeah, ten or so years, ten, maybeeven fifteen years. In the meantime, I had been in and out of prisons in anoutof jail in and out a halfwayhouses detoxes, and I found out that Andy was back in thearea he had moved back from. California was living in provilence, Rhode Island,which is a hopskip ind, a Jope from my area and woser. Another mutual friendof ous that we've mentioned floyd was like you know. I reconnected with him and at the time I'm living in thisHalfwhales, I'm doing awesome. I've been plun for about three years. I washealthy. I was jacked, you know, you know, exercise right an well and I wasready to jam again. I was ready to make some more music and Floyd says you knowNa. Why don't you come with me? I I often on weekends, well go to Andy'snew place. He lives in Providence, let's go over so so I go with floyd andimmediately dude. I start noticing, like tail Tal signs of atdic to behavior, like Andy in thesefifteen years, has kind of developed his own issues. I've. I noticed abottle of subox in medication, which is you know something people take to getoff heroin h. The prescription was written to him. Soobviously you know H he's trying to get off his shit and whatever I'm NOTICG IM NODDING OFF AAND,asleep, whatever it was, and I'm like Holy Shit. You know this is fifteenyears after Andy was ready to cut off our friendship because I was strung outand having my problems and now he's struggling and it just it kind o goesto show that no one is, you know sa out of yes, exactly after a while, like we,we got to jam, for you, know a few months, probably close to a yearplaying music together on the weekends or whatever and Um, and he was pursuing his job working inin music production and had awesome connections all this equipment and hewas doing well. But yet his addiction had brought him to some rough pointsand eventually- and he ended up dying. He ended up overdosing and dying, andthis this person who was such a big part of my life and whose friendship Ialmost lost because of I using I addiction, ended up dying. It the samethings just yeah. No one is exept hals. The word I was looking for, you knowbeing someone who is there as a friend of both of you- and I remember thatfirst apartment, like you mentioned Stephaniac Avenue, or was it she rab? Ithink it was AB whatever, but anyway I...

...do remember Andy really being tornapart. Doing the whole tough love thing with you and you know having a hardtime dealing and processing with all those emotions about. He wanted you toget better, but he didn't know how you know and n all those years later, asyou mentioned, we lost Andy within that tragic manner to to a drug overdose,which is something if you were a gambling person or any of our friendswho had gone through addiction or problems. You would never have peggedhim as someone who would have lost, and certainly not you just never know, andthat's something that really tore me up, because at that point in time I wasalso dealing with my own shit and I m an I was talking to him on the phonesomewhat regularly and it was like hey man. Come hang out, come do thiswhatever and I was like yeah yeah yeah and I I just didn't for like or like afew months and then ng on the news he passed away, and that has a big regretin mind to this day that I I really should have taken the time to head downto providence and spend more time with him. It's not like I'm. Looking backlike Oh, I could have changed anything that's another case, but I mean I wouldhave had more time with him. What I am glad I've got the memories I have withAndy, because we were at one point in time like peas and carrots, which isint considering when we first met each other. We didn't really care for eachother. Very much. That's right. You know, but but overtime. We just sawthings that we liked about each other. We related to Oand bonded over that andUH. I conside hime a great friend and we had rough tatches to most, notablyover a woman, but I remember th y H. I mean that Shithappens, your kids ar fucking stupid. You don't realize how hi really works.Rut Again, Annie was a great mother fucker and I don't say that to be likeweird or whatever. But that's just if you ask me what do you think o AndrewJones a say he was a great fucking guy man and I miss hem o think about him. Ithink about him a lot I do too yeah. It was a good Dude Mon Yep and, like youmentioned, he was in n your ban, a great vocalist, a great writer, a veryintrospective, smart, talented, Guythogh and HG. We actually dedicatedthe first episode of the show to him. I anyody has ever checked out out. Youhear that at the tail end Y, so so yeah and then you know just to kind of goback to things about music can itur turn around here. Real quick but y yeah music is a funny thing becausewhen you're younger it can bond you and it brings people together like you maynot know somebody, but if you see hem w t like a pink floy t shire you like Ohcool man, you like the doors you like whatever and, and you start talking yeanowadays, I don't play that Shet Rih, I don't give a fuck. You could tell meyou like theb whole surfers, I'm a mie an and I'm like you can still be a dickhad it doesn't bea at Fran. I mean wee dont like each other, just 'cause Ihappene to like the same music. I like MES. We we Coul, still be worlds apartdifferent. No. That may also be a sign of the Times because back in, like let's say, nineteen,ninety six, if you liked a certain band, maybe even an obscure act, Yo, maybewere more likely to be like that person, because you weren't the most popularperson on the face of the RNO. That's true too yeah. You know yeah yeah whenyou're younger. It's like that connection that you see and someonewearing a tshirt of the same band is like that's enough. Your personalityhas developed to a certain level when you get older, it's like there's somuch more to you to your personality than what bans you listen to, but as ateenager, that's a big part of who you are. You know what I mean like ABS, thescene you're into, but when you get older, it's like you know a lot ofpeople either lose interest in the music or how important music is m andthere's just so much more baggage. That comes o you might like tabut. You couldalso be a complete fucking, scumbag Amaan. You could go home and PA yourfucking wife. I don't know this Shild just because you like fucking, youdon't teuple pilots, purple Dist B, I'm ing a fucking hang out with you nextweek, right right, righit's like that with sports. For me, man 'cause, it'slike you know, I'm a sports guy, yeah H, so I don't I don't. I don't hold thatagainst Youwell. Thank you. Thank you very much t it's like just 'cause. Youlike the same team. I like we both like the same laundry right t doesn't meanthat you're not a cacksuck. You know what I mean: Yeahyeah MNSO, it's true, that's thething! It's what I hate yo, because everybody groups, people togetherthey're, like Oh Youre, fan of this, an you're Fu, Dick and they're like well.Some people are you're no ar off, but fucking, throwing us all in the fuckingthe bin here, baby ucine. You know it's that tribalism bullshit that I'm alwaystalking about. You know it's just more ways to look at what's differentbetween us than. What's you know similar, which is you know, we'retalking about friendship, we're talking about friends, man, we look, you know Ifeel like the older. I get the more. I realize that yeah, you know we are. Weare going through this same fucking Journeyman, where we're born we die andin the middle we have ups and downs. We have love with pain, we have sadnesswith fear. We have happiness and joy,...

...but at the end of the day we all dieand we've all gone through the same shit. It's just the details that aredifferent so, like you know, I feel like that's. That's enough reason tojust kind of be open, minded and realize that you know we'd all dobetter if we were a little more accepting of each other Mann nd andstuffed looking at all this bullshit. That's my hippy dippiness Myh. You knowmy Hippi side over the years as I've gotten older has taken over and killedthe golth kids it'ssertening extent. That was in me the Dae did a sinner gotchild yeah, the Inner Goth Child is islaring. withhern he's withering away.I'm not feeding him as Luch and right now, he' saying see. I told you, nobodycared. Nobody loves me. Is He funygoes offinto into infinity or wherever theg baby and her children go you an I'll?Let 'em go man, I mean there's some decent music that came along with thatside of me. I I still loved the cure. I sle my depeshmode, my Susi and the bandcheese and all that shit. But as far as the lifestyle does men I', I don't knowI'. I'm done with being ALD mopy and shoe gazy. You know I wanta want tosmile more. I love the beach. I want a Tan. I don't want to fuck ind, lookWhitew, that's a great man! Th! That's is wonderful. Tli I've reached a pointin my life Wer I want to can yeah and eras you goal. You know. I can't be agoth kid. I want to be a Tan Dude. Do you want to be like the old guy withlike that? fucking thick leatheringskin mm Li Beop Ya, Uckin, Sun B, falingfucking Youhav inside in like twenty years you know tweyears or whateveryeah a dood. If you look at it, I I'm much happier to go like iggy pop thenlike fucking Kirk, Kobaing, Ohsh, Cocka, ratch she's, a Fi, ocker sai, we'll notdie al about Lucky Mother Fuckand! That'sthe thing, though you know we talk about drug over noses and stuff. Youreally can predict who's going to stay and who's going to go. 'CAUSE 'cause.You got these fucking young superstars that died, but yet we got these agingrockers yeah keep on keeping on man. Tr Ethe re skin intact and if youever seenKeith Richard's Knuckles, Oh my God, the knuckles eh they're, like they'relike tortoise shells, whos fingers, you know hthat's onething: you're a somebody that has always noticed people's fucking handspeople's little things. May I mean yeah, it's you know, look at fucking. Whatwas he name, Megan, Fox's thumb or whatever Wa? What was it? Meganfu Ya,get a MiG tol thumb. Well, big, TER THOMB! Won't you COO T bum man, becauseit looks like a fucking big tow on Er oer and she may be. Hod Is fluck man.He may be getting down and dirty with her. But the moment she like touchesyour Chee caresses. You maybe even touches your lip Yu're like coan. Idon't even know like athletes, foot from your fucking non, who looks Aa Hol.She cannot be my friend, I'm sorry, Haking Fox go away. Yep Ge, Higgin meat,it nopet it with Yo big. So so anyway, Thi Yo want to add aboutmusic friendship or any of the other wonderful topics that we have discussedtoday mean I feel like I feel, like I said, Omouthful. This is true. I want to think each and every one of you for tuning in.We appreciate the heck out of it virtual hugs for all o Yush andeveryone of you individually, imd, that is neatand. This has beenselling out infirmary media. I think it's aboutspawning. You know we're all like Grunyon weee gon to watch the GRUNYANrun, man which is crawln up on the beach from the Primordial Ooz, makingmore of US Keeling over, and the cycle continues how to show up with Coca Cola, energy,Yo're, tired and you're thinking of cancelling on your friends. Don't do itevery time you CANCO on a friend, a Unicorn loses its horn and becomes aregular horse. Do you really want that on your contente instead grab an icecol can of Coca Cola, energy with delicious coke taste and reinbigeratingenergy? Keep the UNICORNS alive show up every day with Coca Cola, energy,energy. You want taste, you love how to show up with COCACOLA energy,get tired and you're thinking of cancelling on your friends. Don't do itevery time you cancel on a friend, a Unicorn loses its horn and becomes aregular horse. Do you really want that...

...on your contents? Instead grab an icecol can of Coca Cola, energy with delicious coke taste andrehinbigerating energy. Keep the UNICORNS alive show up every day withCoca Cola, energy, energy. You want taste, you love.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (72)