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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 57 · 1 year ago

Ep.#57 Sticky Situation

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hello! On this humdinger Dave is joined by Toby Schofield to talk about a recent CNN article that revealed shocking revelations about...sperm? This of course leads Dave to discuss a recent visit to an adult novelty store, the continuity involved in a cinematic universe centered around porn, and Toby discovers he may have inadvertently created sexting. Plus, considering we are well adjusted adults, we wrap up the show chatting about the Sega Genesis Mini. So kick the kids, elderly folk, and the FBI outta the room. Click play and ENJOY!

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Welcome to the selling out show. You're blymple. What it does is beaches into a brain chemically and no, cat your happiest memory chemically and then blocks on that emotion and releases it chemically, and then it keeps your happy, happy, hello, hello, hello, and thank you for tuning into the selling out show. Will we screw up life at our leisure for your listening pleasure? I am one of your host David Shills, and normally by my side is Mr Nate Corezinski, but unfortunately back home there were storms and he has no power. So use your mind's eye right now and imagine that poorus son of a bitch sitting around a candle and a rusty old canna beans open so he can eat that full dinner. I am joined by frequent collaborator and Co host, Toby Schofield, of all the secret named podcasts in the universe. That's right, toby, you were here and you have power and you're not sitting around the counter eating a rusty old can of beans. I don't know. That sounds delicious. Think so. Maybe. Well, the beans are cold. Not really now, that sounds awful. Yeah, that sounds terrible. Yeah, cold beans not good. But you know, toabster, I was thinking of thinking about you, thinking about me. And there was a time in history, in recorded human history, that we wear the Krem Dala Kreme. The Best of the best at something. Okay, when when this who come in? Was What? Was I good at anything? This is this is what I'm getting to here. is in this applies to every human being, well, actually, technically any living thing on the planet, or a mammal, mammillion, I just like how that sounds coming out of my mouth. mummillion. But there was once a mad dash defertilize and egg. You see where I'm going with this? I see, I's see, I'm following. See, now you're following, but back then, when you were a wee eat a bitty sperm, you weren't following nothing. You were at the head of the pack. You were the one that got the first said, fuck you, motherfuckers, I got this, this is my egg, and Vualla, a baby was born. Over time, we both became big, useless pieces of shit. Huh, yeah, it's fair, right, that's very yeah, that's very fair. I was. I was wants the best swimmer. Who just hold on, think of that, think of all the other fuck ups that didn't make it to the egg, right, and somehow we did. Yeah, I know they think of how easy worse, Whoa Right, they ended up down like a drain or something in the in the bathroom, or on the inside of a thigh or whatever the case may be. But we made it, you know, if we did, so, what happened? We've just wasted at all. Well, that's the thing. How can we get that sperm motivation back? Because, if you think of it, sperm really only has one mission, one purpose. It's just waiting to get out there speed, speed itself or race to the finish line and then after that, hey, that's it. It's just a simple, you know, directive, is simple way to exist for the short amount of time that it does. Well, maybe maybe that's the problem, as we have too many responsibilities once we get to the egg and we are a...

...human. I mean we've got bills, we've got significant others that we have to please and make happy, and sometimes kids and going to work. Well, a lot of responsibility. You just had one responsibility before, yeah, just trying to become a person. Yeah, and now now you've got all the stacked against you. Well, you know, people believe in past lives. I don't know if you do, what your perspective is and all of this. I won't go too far into it because I don't know exactly what I believe. But can you imagine as a sperm, you had a completely different personality. You did have friends, I mean you're sitting in the testicles hanging out. Maybe you did have to pay bills. Who knows? Maybe my sperm name is is Ted or something. I don't know. I was a completely different thing, you know. I'm just saying. So South Park has a really funny joke where they have seemen and the the what is it? The eggs that love them? No, they he s cartman gets see people and seamen and he puts them in a jar together and it creates seasiety. So what you're saying is there's a seamensiety in the testicles and there's little apartment buildings where we're paying rent and we're like all right, well, today's Today's going to be the day I'm gonna get to the egg. Yeah, like you were an accountants or something, and then the floodgates open and you like got fuck this, gotta go. You got wife and kids, you got something else, but Heyy, that door is open. Swim, motherfuckers, swam. What if? Let's what I want to get really philosophical on you. Please, okay, please do what if? What if we are sperm right now? This is I feel like I should be stoned when I'm saying this. Yeah, everyone took up real quick. What if we are seemen right now and when we die that's actually us going to an egg or being released? You know what I mean? HMM, it's the rapture. That's what it is. That's exactly Holy Shit. We are just a seaman sperm and then we end up in a I don't know, I don't know where I'm trying to go with that. I'm not. If I was stoned, this would make sense, I know. That's the problem. We can't articulate right now because we're just riffing right, we're just be bopping and scatting all over the place, but we should be writing a book on this and turning it into like it's so little cult or religion. Oh Man, we be on thet some he am I a coult yeah, yes, give us your house. We will teach you all about how you're just a sperm in this simulation. Yep, waiting to fertilize the universe's egg. That's some trippy Shit. Man. It's funny too, cause you said, Oh, you like, oh, toke up everybody. I don't smoke grass anymore, but I can only imagine if I still did, I'd be mind blown right now, like my body. Yeah, Jelly, these guys get it, they understand. I gotta fucking follow them to the ends of the Earth until I get released good to join us, because all all we need is your life savings, your house and your car and we can teach you everything we know. Yep, Yep, absolutely. Do we get a compound? We have to have a compound. I think so. Yes, it must be done. We need a compound. We need to have a love circles, because, you know, if we had a cold, it definitely be a sticky one, if you know what I mean. They be a lot of that's of course, I'm speakable. Things happening in Dave and toby's could mean it's already about seamen. So like, you know, to bless our phone. Gross. Oh, I felt dirty saying I felt dirty that. I pause...

...for a second and I wasn't going to say it and I was like no, you're committed, just say it, just let it go. Yeah, I just see. Yeah, you're already you dug into far man. You got it. You gotta let it out your mouth, flow from your brain out you're speaking whole but toadstir. Yeah, the reason why this whole thing about sperm is on my mind is because I recently saw an article, and I'll give credit where credit is due, on CNN and the headline read human sperm roll like playful Otters as they swim. Study finds contradicting centuries old beliefs. Now anybody can go and Google this article and kind of like dig into what I'm about to talk about basically here. They said that three hundred and forty years ago there was a dude with a name that I can't pronounce, but he was a Dutchman, so he was freaky deecky. He invented a powerful new compound microscope. So he's got this microscope. He loves looking at Shit. He's like, this is my new toy. Whoo we what can I stare at next through this thing? And what better than his own ejaculate? Well, okay, that's that's almost as gross is what you were just suggesting initiation ritual to join our cult. When he did see this and he saw the individual sperm, he saw their little tails whipping around, and so for all these years we have believed that is in fact how they move. But scientists have now found that the tail rolls, as I just mentioned with the headline, like a playful otter. So children's books now are ruined, Ye for me, because if I ever read about that Happy Little Otter it's going to remind me of a Jizz. But Anyway, I digress. OTTERS are one of my favorite animals, to the kind of lumins. It's so cute, Cudley. Now imagine you're like cuddling with an otter and he's like making otter noises, which I don't even know what otter noises are, but maybe like a Dick, and then just butt loop and loop, and suddenly you're holding a giant sperm and it should it's uncontrollable. It's like holding an octopus tentacle and it's whipping you in the face, but you're like yeah, it's really terrible, don't worry, he's just rolling like a playful water now the whole thing with this is, and I get it right, research is done for fertility purposes. I mean people research things all the time that make no sense to the average Joe like myself, but now, in times that we live in of disease and strife and all these other terrible things, I mean this has been the worst year ever, right. Yes, of course you think. There's some motherfucker out there getting paid a boatload of money and has a grant just to watch sperm swim all day. And they figured this out. Man, wait, someone consciously decided I'm gonna be a sperm scientist. Yeah, I don't know if it's an official title for that. I think in the article maybe they don't call him that. He's let me look it up here, real quich is spurt a j spurgs spurt. I like to see that of a business card. Hello, I'm Dr Schofield and I am a ductor of just Burg s bird just spurticed I. I'm scrolling through this article. I can't find out what kind of doctor he is. Oh, Jiz Burt works for me. Okay, perfect, but yeah, that's a job. That's a legitimate job. That's what this guy in his team does all day, every day when they go home on the weekends and probably thinking about it, flipping burgers on the grill, going Geez, you know, I wonder how test sample a is swimming right now and underneath the Jizosphere gyrader thing. I'm a Jiggy Humble Bob. I think they would at least...

...label them and be like, all right, this one's Jeff as well, I was say in earlier. Right, you got a name, mom. You can't just be like, oh, that's test a, you gotta got a girl bond with the I mean you're watching them like you would an animal, and you know you're observing an animal, so you're like, oh, this is my friend bill, Hey, let's they'll see. Man, I referenced past lives earlier, but now that we're, you know, forming an official cult here, we can call it the pre life, the bree. who were you in your prelife? Right, yeah, HMM, Yep, and I was a happy little sperm named Ted who's fond of bow ties and attending cribbage matches. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. You know, I hate that I imagined a sperm with a bow tie. Really, I don't like that. I didn't like that image. It was weird. Would you prefer a sperm in a tight eye shirt, playing hacky sack with one of these Boni's on? Yeah, what is he at, by Lapier? What are you talking about? Wearing? It being cheese? Oh, man, do you think the sperm like scientists? It like goes home and like the it's say it's a it's a man and or even a woman, and they're just like look, I don't want to have sex. I'm tired of looking at the seamen. I'm just tired of it. I don't care. Well, that's the AGEL whole question, isn't it? It's like, if you're a guy ecologist, he must be tired of seeing twats all day long. But it in you know the reality of everything? You probably not. You know? Probably not. Yeah, I guess you're right, putting on your dive in Cap, jumping right back in. I mean, you know. Yeah, I guess. I guess you're not like looking at a Dick all day. You're just looking at I mean basically spit. I could think any way other is fucking it. Every time you appear on my show you just keep getting weirder and more bizarre and socially awkward, to the point where I don't know if I should be talking to you or calling the FBI. Listen, when you first said, hey, we're going to talk about some Jizz, I initially was like, Oh God, he's going to ask like when the first time I did, and like he's gonna ask all these weird questions. I was terrified, and you're like no, no, it's it's going to be okay. I like how you got just revealed to the audience how the sausage is made on this show. I just said out a random TEX. I'm like, Hey, you want to talk about Jizz, you know and that, and guess what I'm saying. It sounds bad, but you were eager to talk about this. You're like hell, yeah, I can't wait to talk about some some ejaculate go yes or passion. It's always after I agree to it, I'm like wait a minute, what's what's going to happen in this conversation? Where's IT gonna go? Yeah, I never would have dreamed that this would have gone to colts and stuff, but I'm happy about that. This is a good thing. Colts are great things. They're wonderful, wonderful. That sperm Coles. Yeah, yeah, those, I was going to say. If you ever listen to any old selling out shows, you'll find out that I'm not a big fan of colts. But feel free to check out our archives and I believe that might even be episode number one. Making it easy, peasy, lemon squeezy. Now on the whole trend that we're talking about right now, I also have to tell you I went to a sex shop the other day for the first time, I think, since I was maybe late teens. And you know the thing about sex shops now, they're more hybrid because they also have to be CBD, vape and a sex shop. It's not just, you know, just one mega sex emporium, right, right, yeah, so I walk into this place, figure now I'm going to go check out, you know, what's going on, and and it's like there's some kind of social scene inside and they're going to welcome me or something. But you know what I mean, I want to kind of want to scope it out and see what they are,...

...what they're like nowadays. So I go into this place and my mind is fucking, absolutely blown because they had rows and rows a fucking DVD's like it was blockbuster in one thousand nine hundred and ninety four and I couldn't believe it because I'm like, we have all the resources and tools. Now, this is going to make me sound creepy, but it's the truth to not need a physical form of media to purchase and bring home to get your rocks off right. I mean the Internet exists solely for perverts. Yes, yes, I think I know what you're talking about. I'm a good, good guy, so you know, I don't. I don't know. You may have to spell it out a little louder for me. Don't want to do that. Hell No. Yeah, it's just weird to me. Like what person in two thousand and twenty is going to the shop, the sex shop, and going hey, you know anal beads, vibrators blow. Oh wait, Holy Shit, look at this collection to DVD's. I need dirty nurses, seventy three, yea, I need to complete my dvd. Yeah, right, like, seriously, who's fucking out there buying a porno legs DVD nowadays? Just it doesn't make sense to me. Do you think there was like, you know, there's people collect comic books and stuff like that? Do you think people like own a complete run of because you would see those kind of DVD's it'd be like but bandits, forty sits in. You're like, Whoa, there's forty five of these before this. You're what. I well, like do you think people like have the whole collection like on a shelf and they're proud of it? They're like, yeah, I own all of but bandits. Yeah, they must be here, because otherwise why would they have them taking up that much retail space? I guess I don't know. I remember one friend I had when I was younger did have his porn DVD's like on a shelf in his living room. Out It was Aliso. H. No, they was just like four or five, but like they were on the bottom, like in the corner where you like, you couldn't your I didn't naturally go to it instantly. I always saw it like I'd always look and be like that's so weird. Why are they there just where everyone can see them? Minor hidden in a shoe box deep in my closet? You know, so it no, you're perusing the movies, a forest gump, curious case of Benjamin Button, back to the future. Hey, but man, it's number forty six. Yes, like really, he just had him out in the open? Maybe. Yeah, I don't know that that is this. I wonder. Do you think he still has them? It was just a recent thing or no, no, this is probably let's it's got to be at least fifteen years ago now. But I remember one of them was like called milk man or something laser dish, and that's yeah, was some things are disc I remember looking at it, mean like what the Hell is Milkman and then realizing Oh, the back shows boobs and everything, and then I realize, oh, the other four or five DVDs beside it are also porn. So yeah, I don't know. It's weird. It's easy to make sequels to porn movies and wonder if there are any prequels to kind of give me the back story and how the butt band it became the butt band. You know what, now I feel like this Colt is going to have to also make adult movies and where they're really entwine like that, where there are prequels and sequels, it's like the Marvel Cinematic Universe is going to have continuity. You'RE gonna look for Easter eggs and all of our porn movies or something. Yeah, they're like, Hey, I heard that you blew John Bone in in I don't know, I'm trying to connect the universe that doesn't exist. But yeah, they reference others sex scenes that they're in. But then, but then, like a real hard corenerds like, hold on, Joanna didn't do that because in yeah, sexy time trawl ups number twenty two, she went back to one thousand nine hundred and eighty seven,...

...or raised the current history and became a gun who lives in a convent in Spain right now. So that never happened. You See. And they get it like all down, they get all mapped out. And how dare any outside or discussed the films with them? They like, you know, a real fan. You don't fucking getting, you know, the source material. They're not even looking at it for like pleasure, they're just looking at it for continuity errors at this point point exactly, exactly right, you know, fucking you know what, I would not be surprised if that kind of fan was out there, and more power to him. I'd respect the hell out of him, because it's the one thing to like latch onto a major property and know everything about it. You know, you know me. I'm a comic Book Fan, so of course I try to be as knowledgeable as humanly possible about the things I like and care about. But to be like yeah, and Zach, he fucking jizzed on that Goddamn fucking door handle and let me tell you like you know it. They can't believe it just came out of my face. I should be writing these exactors down the Goddamn door hand. This sounds bad. I got to stop talking. This is fucking terrible. Yeah, dubbed off on him for rubbed off on and the worst way. The door handle comment reminded me of so my friend I was at. There's like four or five guys that were living in a house together, and we were sitting in the living room and my buddy ran out of his room and he goes, you have to come watch this, and I was like okay. So we all, there was like four of us, and we went to his room and he had a porn pulled up and he's like, okay, just watch Eddie hit play, and this was on a DVD that he owned. He hit place and now we're all there's like five guys in this room watching a born together, and this guy's is having sex with a Latina girl and I don't know where. I don't know if there's like an over arc arcing story that's happening right, but it just cuts and it shows a guy having sex with the TACO, like a soft Taco or a Burrito or something, ha, ha, little life size Barrino. It was just I don't know it. My buddy looked at me goes he was I was not expecting that. This ruined my experience, scarred for life. So this guy is now using this burrito and then all of a sudden there's police sirens going off and he's like Oh, I gotta go and just throws the Burrito down and that's the end of the porn like that's how it ends. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen and if anyone knows what that video was called, please message me. Yeah, because I want to send it to my buddy because I bring every time I see him I bring it up. Hey, remember that time you made me watch a guy have sex with a Burrito, and he's like yeah, that was fucked up. If you've ever seen this film a Burrito, cheese. What do you even call this? What do you call it's like banging a Burrito. If you ever see someone banging a Burrito, make sure you write to selling out show at GMAILCOM. Drop us a line on twitter at selling out show. We want to hear all about it. Well, no, I don't want to hear all about I just want to you know. Well, with the name of the film is, I guess someone is gonna be like, Oh, you want guys banging Burritos, here's a bunch of videos. So maybe this is a bad idea. Let's let's take it all back. Don't send us anything. Don't send well, you know, it's terrible. When you started this story and you're like, yeah, there's five guys in a room and we're watching this dude fuck this girl that turns into a Burrito. It's like you having a sausage party and the you know, what do you guys do watch a porno together? Just, I mean, sounds weird. It was weird. And then we went and got burritos afterwards. No, I'm just kidding. Young yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah, it was just a weird thing.

I don't know, your door handle thing made me think of that. I like just a weird video that was forced upon me. I had no choice. I didn't know what I was going into. We're all over the fucking place with this. I don't know if I've ever brought it up on this show before, but I had a but I think I have. I had a buddy who's father had this really big point collection and he was the kind of Guy, the kid I'm talking about, not that, not the guy you own, the port of the father, but my friend. He knew exactly when to rewind the movies, so his father never knew that he was watching them because he would keep like a time log to make sure his son wasn't watching his stash. But we one of them had a song in it and the theme song was Oh, Beautiful Lady so ten, Oh this must be paradise is land man. Oh, I don't w want to ever leave. So I go back to this solid gold yet with Mr Mjpeeve and Randy and Hank. Oh, yeah, we go back to this solid gold yet with Mr MJPEF and now. I watched this when I was like sixteen years old. This kid and that song. I can remember it to this day. No, Burrito is required. I don't know what's worse, a Burrito in a porn or a theme song things. Remember the solid gold? Yeah, years later, Mr Mjpeeve and Randy and Hank. Oh, yeah, we go. So, yeah, I don't know, man, just fucking wow. Yeah, it's weird. Who you know? Yeah, definitely has a lasting impact on everybody's psyche. Apparently, speaking of a lasting impact, when I was in the sex shop I saw some freaky ash shit. There was some adle beads that look more like a dog toy. I was like, who could fucking pack all that in their ass? That's insane. The fucking thing. That's what I mean. It is like a huge Jesus Christ. I'm terrible with dimensions, like right now. I know no one can see me, considering this is an audio show, but I'm like using my hands to try to gage the size and pretty big. So that's why I said I looked that. I'm like, is that a show toy or is that a fucking pleasure of Gosseball size or baseball side? Basically baseball size, but the damn thing was longly. So I'm like that's like the person would be flossing with that thing from but older. You know what, Hey, listen, as long as you're doing it in the safety and privacy of your own home, more power to you. But I did see a dude in there who was all by himself. I didn't mention that. I don't want to get too deep into the details because I don't want to get in trouble and have to sleep on the couch. But I was there with somebody else, but wink, wink, nudge, nudge. But there was a dude who's just going Solo and he's like picking up fucking vibrators and Shit and looking around. I was like that poor bastard. Did you look him in the eyes at all? Of course not. That's like, you know, my eyes would lock and I wouldn't be able to move. I'd probably be petrified, like Oh shit, you know, like no, no, I didn't do that. I haven't been to a sex shop in years. But like that was always the thing, is like I there was so much shame in just walking around like I'd always just kind of like look at the floor, Builgary, like getty dude even say hello to people. All Right, okay, so I had a I'm here for a Jie had a Bulbo hi. I had a really awkward yeah, when I was eighteen I had to frequent a sex shop because in the state of Texas, at this particular sex shop, you had to be eighteen to enter. Sure I got held back in school a year. So I was older than everyone and everyone knew I was a real open guy and you know, like you know you everyone talk to me and told me weird shit all the time. I don't know. Anyways, I would have a lot of my friends that were girls ask me,...

Hey, will you go buy me a vibrator? So I was in there enough and showed my ID to get into the sex shop enough to where the guy would be like hey, toby, how's it going? ignorm from cheers, Oh yeah, yes, and it got to where it was like it was weird but at the same time it was like, I mean, I'm not buying the stuff for me, but I'm sure that guy was like this dude is a free air he knows how to get down. I'd have to take pictures of stuff and be like is this what you're wanting, and like, you know, takes back and forth like no, no. This is when we had shitty cell phones and the pictures were like real bad and pixelated. So like it'd be like do you want this one? No, no, I haven't bought stuff for some of my guy friends. They wanted to try like the the pocket pussies. Ah, sure, just yeah, to carry. They say it's pocket Pussy, just put in your pocket. Right. That's not how it works. This this guy, I bought it for him, and now they all gave me money. I wasn't like just like Hey, I'm here's your bought you some toys to play with. Yeah, you know, like giving me money. Did you like it a percentage? Like Hey, I'm not gonna give me five percent of you know, the pocket Pussy. Guess should have. I was. I was a dumb business guy. Very anyways, he bought one and he would hide it in his his sub that he hadn't like a subwolfer that he had in his roll. I thought you meant like I have sandwich, like a five dollar foot long. You Really? Yeah, I'm just gonna fucking jam this in there. No one's gonna notice. Ha Ha, look at me, I'm a sneaky, incognito motherfuckert. No, he had it to wear, like he could pull out like this little centerpiece and held hide it in there because he was like sixteen or seventeen and you'd had it from his mom. You know this. What you did was highly illegal because, if you think about it, you were buying these things from miners and you were of age. I was eighteen. Yeah, and you're sending pictures to girls who whatever, seventeen, of didozy stuff, dope that was not sexy. Goes like do you want this product? That is on the wall? It's not like I never got dirty with it. Don't put that out there. Hey, you're saying. I mean you know you were sending pictures of these products to these young, young ladies out there. Told me, I think we might have to open an investigation. That'll coume on now. This is yeah, I think. Look India there a little bit, and just to do that, I have found the perfect device. It's a fucking five foot long anal bead. We're fucking baseball size beads on them. That's that's your probe. We're gonna give you a probe. Oh No, no, no, no, this is a I don't know. This was so long ago at it can in there like a seven year what's it called? Oh, statute of limitations. Yeah, yeah, in that, in that apply. Yeah, it's thirty five years. So you're still well with just the company confines of getting in a boatloaded trouble. Young Man, it had to have been like fifteen, sixteen years ago. Come on, yeah, sure, it's. The time keeps moving. Now with you're like yeah, seven years ago, I mean sixteen years ago, share forty five. I was eighteen and I'm thirty. Ambout to be thirty two. So seventeen. Oh, it'll be seventeen years. Yeah, still no good, very bad. It's very, very bad. Oh, very bad. So's yeah, I don't know, I might have to kick you out of our cult. Might have to get the boot for that one. They're Buddy, oh man. Yeah, so I don't, I don't. I don't get to partake in the porn cinematic universe that we're going to make anymore. Damn it, you don't get to go take part in the baptism of the the SPLOOGE. I'm glad I'll miss that one. So, yeah, anyway, that's life right now. Is a very...

...sticky situation, to say the least, but that's what's been on my mind and what I've been doing. So that's that Nice. Now this is the part of the show where I like to thank the partners, the sponsors that make things possible here at selling out show central. But, to be honest with you, after listening to this episode, they probably want nothing to do with this program at all. But still, I love them. I love the hell out of them, so I'm going to talk about them. First step, we have Alpine Hempcom and you know what, you can save the trip to the freaky hybrid sex shop for all of your CBD needs by visiting Alpine Hempcom where they have it all, toby, everything you can think of CBD related, and the prices are fantastic. I don't know if you're the kind of person who's ever looked for CBD online, but it is mega expensive. It is. It's very expensive and it's hard to find a reliable source right, right exactly. And I personally use Alpine hamps products and I love them. I'm a capsule guy, so I've been enjoying their energy blend. The Sleep, Oh my God, I need that every night because I sleep like a fucking baby thanks to this stuff. So make sure you visit Alpine Hampcom and yet again they've got anything under the sun you can think of. I'm not going to rattle off the list right now. Just trust me, go there and check them out. Next step we have northland vaporcom. Now, much like my cbd use, I am also a vapor I have used vaping as smoking cessation, because while you were sending pictures of vibrators to underage girls, I was smoking fucking filthy cigarettes. I said it, I've said it numerous times. We can't put them can't put it back in the box. Don't be itself there. But the point being, is that so much worse than it was? Okay, maybe it was, but let me get through this. Okay, Northland paper there e juices are fantastic. They are dike tone and artificial sweetener free, which is important because if you are vapor maybe you gone out there and tried different e liquids and they got that really nasty chemical aftertaste or they burn your coils to shit really fast. That's not going to happen with northland vapor juice. They also have a bunch of vaping supplies, pretty much anything you need, on their website and they have three retail locations and sell Fargo, North Dakota, morehead and Bimidgey Minnesota, and they are only selling vape and CBD stuff, so you don't have to worry about any extended rows of movies that you be embarrassed to watch in front of your Nana. So make sure you check them out. And both those sites, if you use code selling out nineteen, you save nineteen percent off your entire order, which is a wicked good deal. Make sure you check them out. Last but not least, and perfectly fitting for this episode, I suppose, is spunk Loub. Now, spunk loop is an award winning lubricant use by professionals in the adult film industry, some who start in those very movies that I was just talking about. But why let them have all the fun? You can bring spunk home and use it in the privacy of your own home by visiting spunk lubecom. And the best thing is all the shipping is discreet, so you're not going to get a package sitting on your front door that just proclaims, Hey, there's a bunch of Lube in here. Okay, your privacy is protected and it is an amazing experience. So make sure you check out spunk lubecom. Now toabster. I have to go. I got to get out of here because I reach and this is thanks to your recommendation, I recently purchased a Sega Genesis Classic mini. Yes, I don't know if the official title is a way that I just said it is. It is that what is name is, and you know, I don't know if it's called the Sega Genesis classic or Saga Genesis many, but yeah,...

...everyone, everyone should know what you're talking about. Okay, well, cool, because it's the official one. Yeah, it's not legal. There's there's a cheap brand that is not very good. The sound qualities sucks and the the controls don't feel right. This you bought the actual saga one, which is so nice. I love it. Yeah, it is pretty cool and I was really skeptical because when I first got it, I showed it to my son and I was like, Hey, you want to play some games that were cool when I was a kid? And at first he's all excited, but then I turn it on and he's looking at the Games is scrolling through him he's like, I didn't realize they're going to be this old. School. So and plus is no real like name brand recognition. I mean sonic is there, but still, when you talk in you know, the the titans of the video game titles. You Want Mary, Oh, right, the supermarried, but gas things like instantly recognizable to anybody. However, the point I'm trying to make is this freaking kid is now addicted to this system. He's not playing all the games, because not all the games that great. I got to be perfecting out. Of course, summer a little crappy, but he likes sonic, he likes street fighter two, and I mean to the point where I can't pry them off this damn thing. So I gotta go play some video games or face the fury of a child. Hey, I had totally understand that. That's really cool, though, that you're opening his eyes to the older games and not just letting him play fortnight or something. You see, like the rest, this whole time we've been talking all this nasty shit. This this is like I'm ending the show with some wholesome talk. Yeah, some real family time, family time dad stuff. Yeah, exactly. Now, can you show me how to MoD this thing so I can get from Mario Brothers on it? WHOA. We'll talk about that off air because I don't know if you you're already trying to pin me for one weird thing this episode. I don't want to be pinned on another, possibly illegal activity. He wearing a whia. That's what I'm doing. I'm a rat, a filthy like talk closer to your microphone so my microphone can pick it up. We just ont a fucking podcast. Anybody can you know, download or listen to so yeah, but anyway, I want to thank you, Topester, for coming on and filling in for my buddy nate. And before we go, do you want to plug yourself? Wait, that didn't sound right. Oh, you want to have a log? Not After all the talk we've had. I couldn't help myself. Couldn't help it. But do you want to plug any projects that you're currently working on or anything you have in the pipeline? Yeah, so I do to podcast. I have secret transmission, which we've been on a hiatus for a while, but it's an it's a satire, conspiracy, imparent normal show. The show I'm working currently on all the time as secret levels, which is a Retro Video Game Review Show. So some of those games that are on that classic. You can actually hear US review them. It's a little adult language, so don't let the kid listen. But you can find everything at bad secret Mediacom, all the links and all the social media and all the good stuff. So just go to bad circuit Mediacom and you'll find. You'll find my stuff. You know. Can I go to bad secret MEDIACOM and find a way to get through echo the dolphins first level? We have not covered echo the dolphin and I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, it's you have to jump in the sky. Okay, stoff. It reminds me the ET video game where you get trapped in a hole and you just couldn't get out and you're like fuck this piece of shit game, like what the fuck that is? Buy Echo is the same thing. We're swimming around, swiming around. I'm like, I could have swore. I watch a youtube tutorial that said, yeah, you got to jump in aliens pick you up or something, but then we start playing the game. We can't figure out and then I look for the same tutorial on Youtube and I can't find the fucking thing. So the game sucks. Yeah, it's hard, it's not an easy game. It's a WHO but it's fun to swim around as...

...a dolphin for a few minutes. That's what I used to do when I was a kid. I played all the time. Echo belongs and a freaking tunicane. You heard it here first, folks. Dave hates dolphins. Way I yeah, so let's end this motherfucker. I am Dave. That is toby filling in for nate, and this has been the selling out show. My God. So six.

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