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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 44 · 2 years ago

Ep.#44 Walmart Warrior

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On this episode of The Selling Out Show Dave and Toby discuss the pure joy of new underwear, a socially awkward situation with a senior citizen at Walmart, weird celebrity crushes, plus a dating disaster that involves too much booze and a freaky foot fetish.

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Hey, I'm Maurice. As abarber, you might think my scissors are my main tool, but really it'smetro. That's where I got my iphone seven. It's camera makes sharing mycuts as simple as snip, snap, share. Right now, get aniphone seven with a camera that shoots for K for just for thousand nine hundredand ninety nine. When you switch to the number one brands and prepaid metroby Tmobile, rule your day requires port. INEVALUABLE number not going to be activeon tmobile network for active on Metro in past ninety days and verification ofhiding and independent Actas than it for percounts household. Thirty two kid by Iphone seven, model phone. You no temperance. Store for details and consof emissions. Infirmary media. Welcome to the selling out show. You.What it does is beaches into your brain chemically and now cat your happiest memorychemically and then knocks on to that emotion and releases it chemically, and thenit keeps your happy, happy, hello, hello, hello, and thank youfor too tuting into this selling out show where we screw up life atour leisure for your listening pleasure. I am one of your host David Shillsand filling in for nate. Over here by my side I have my goodpal toby school field. Toby, how are you? I am doing excellenttoday. Excellent. I like the sound of that. Excellent means exemplary.Good. This means something wonderful happened to you today. Right. No,actually, no, it's been kind of a crappy day, but I'm ina good I'm in good spirits right now. So don't you for's that fucking lineto my listeners, asshole. Don't you come on the fucking air wavesto say I'm great and you're really down to the dumps. You know,I've had a rough week. The the old fields not doing so great rightnow and we got some bad news at work this week. They cut ourovertime. They're trying to penny pinch, but for some reason I'm in agood mood about it. Did you say Penny Pinch or Penny Pinch, PennyPenny? Okay, face in me like like penny, penny, pinch,penny. People that you're trying to be cute about it or something. Thesefucking sons of bitches ripping me off. All right. Well, that allsucks. So they goes whole intro to the show. You know, comeon now, how about your look? But I'm in a good mood aboutit. Okay, all right, are you inebriated or something? And what? Let well, I'm perfect, I'm perfectly fine right now. I'm justI'm happy to be recording. I'm happy to not have to deal with reallife right now. Great, I'm a just action for you. Yes,perfect. That's my story of my whole life. You ask any woman I'veever been with. The rebound from Bad News, a distraction from tragedy.That's what I'm here for. Hey, that's hey, that's why everyone's listening, right. A distraction, a getaway. I don't care why they are.I'm as glad they do. Right, Dude, New Year. Right,this is kind of connecting to our last episode. How was your NewYear's Day? Did you enjoy yourself? Did you celebrate? What happened withyou? I was your typical grown up that was in bed by like teno'clock and went to work the next morning at five. So you didn't seeany balls dropping on TV. Your balls were dropping in bed. That's right. Okay, that's the only only place us. I was a dropping ballsin my bed alone. Well, then, the next day, when it's actuallyNew Year's Day, did you wake up renewed or feeling good or readyto tackle the world and a New Light? No, it's just another day.I'm not. New Year's is not a thing really to me. It'sjust it's just another day. Well, you know what, I'm here tochange that for you. Okay, you...

...know, you're creeping a little bitcloser to being a man of a certain age, and there's rewards for that. Okay, getting old or doesn't have to completely suck a right. Okay, maybe a little bit, but not completely. So I think what youshould do, when do you say, and this is honestly what I do, and it really tickles me pink, if you know what I mean,is give your self. Go out and buy a new pack of underwear forthe New Year, because what is better than some new dy's? Hey,you're right, new new Andy's, new socks. I get excited about newsocks. Now you know your your penny pinching over there at the oil fields. I don't know if you can go for the sock undy duo on he'salone, or should suffice to make you happy and you know, reinvigorate yoursoul. Now, do you clean out your drawer of all the the pastyear's Undy's and just start completely new, or is it just you add anew pack to the rotation? I kind of get the heat drawer. That'sthe problem. It takes like a serious injury to one of my previous pairsof UNDY's for me to dispose of them right. Get your money's worth out. Ye, he's now. Hey, Hey, know what, you haveaccused the right guy. I am cheap as all get out. But no, it's more like any signfeld fans out there might appreciate this. Like goldenboy. He's got this t shirt that's tried and true and is always reliablefor him, and he could you know, it's been there for years and hisdrawer, some of my undy's are in fact similar to golden boy,which is a terrible term for underwear. So let's get off of that thingreal quick. But Anyway, point being is, you know they are lucky, or you know I have some kind of association with him, so Ikeep them until they are completely unwearable. But you know, the real thinghere is that for pack. Okay, okay, you know you're going toadorn your little jolly's with later. It's nice to know that you've given yourselfa gift, a gift of renewal for you and your twigs and berries.Yeah, so I actually did recently buy a new pack of underwear. Okay, okay, just just to throw in the drawer. Have some new underwear. I bought the wrong kind. I'm a boxer guy, you know.Yeah, these were the the brief boxer kind that you know. They kindof squeeze. I'm kind of a big guy. I don't look real attractivein them and my my situation is situated too tightly to me with those.So I can't even wear the new underwear I bought. WHOA, Whoa,down Nelly, you telling me you went into the store, brows the section, perused the offerings and still bought the wrong type? I think what happenedwas I had the right type and I went through the sizes and just grabbedthe one that was behind it, and it was a trick because I wasn'tpaying attention and I bought the wrong ones, because I when I got home Iwas like this is not what I had in my hand. You can'treturn them. You know that right, you don't have to keep them.I had already opened them and was like, wait a minute, you can stillreturn them. It does. I don't think it even matters, tobe honest. We see, I feel weird about that. So I justkept them and I was like I will make this work, and I havenot made it work yet. Okay, all right. Well, I cankind of understand getting the wrong size, maybe misreading the label if this isl or excel L or something, but to get like, you know,breeze instead of box or briefs or something, I mean there is clearly a pictureof the man on front and you can see who's junk and how heis, you know, rock and Oznd. So that's a little weird. Yeah, you know it was a blind bagged. You just like yeah,fuck it. I'm one of those kind of guys that's like I know thesize of my pants and I won't try them on. So, like,I saw the size, like I said, I thought was in the same area. So I just grabbed the bag through it in the buggy and whenI'm with my businesses, for I can...

...reach behind what you saw? Yes, you saw, and I think that's where my error was as that Idon't pay attention, like I said, with jeans, with shirts, likeI know my size, I just I look for it and I throw itin the buggy and I'm like, all right, I like that shirt,so it's here. Did you go? That's whatever. That's a problem alot of guys have. We're terrible shops that's it right there. Yeah,I'm a terrible, terrible shopper, terribly human being to what. We cantalk about that a little bit later. I mean, look at me,I'm the guy who gets excited about new OND's on New Year's. But again, if you you know what really you know floats my boat now is ifI get a sea pat machine or wrist brace or, I don't know,work boots, like Oh, here we go, yeah, I made it. So, yeah, I'm fucking trust you me. I'm lame. Andisn't that? Isn't that crazy to think about, like if, when youwere a teenager, none of those things would have been awesome, but asan adult you're like, hail, yeah, give me some underwear, I giveme some all of it, I want it, all I wanted rightnow. Don't hesitate for those. Are these in my face? But youknow, I may be old school like that, but I do want tobring it new school right now and let the listeners know if they ever wantto reach out and talk to us, it is easy. You can findus on all your socials at selling out show, or if you want towrite me an email tell me about your undi experience or just called toby anidiot, which is more than welcome. You can shoot us an email atselling out show at GMAILCOM. So I had an experience the other day ateveryone's favorite Walmart and you know, I feel like a lot of people havebad experiences with Walmart people and I want to see if I was overthinking it. Okay, so I went to the self checkout. I had my tenyear old with me and I'm sitting there talking to him. We're minding ourown business. There's an all US sweet old looking ladies in front of us, taking her sweet time because she's looks like she might be nine years old. I was double sweet, she's gonna be a nice one. Yes,so I'm not in any rush. We don't have anywhere to go, we'veonly got a few things, no big deal. So I'm talking to theten year old just trying to pass time while we're waiting. We're talking aboutcandy and we're talking about the drinks and their little refrigerators and I noticed thatthe the Old Lady, all her stuff is off the little conveyor belt.So I started throwing my stuff up there because I try to give her enoughtime. You know, I don't want to I don't want her to feelrushed. As soon as I start putting my stuff up there, and we'vealready been standing there for a little while. As soon as I put my stuffup there, the old lady turns and looks at me and goes,I'm sorry, I'm old and I have cancer, and she turned around andbefore like it registered, I was trying to like defend it and say no, no, you're fine. I was just setting my stuff up here andI set myself up there, and then I started thinking, yeah, whydid she add and I have cancer? Well, she had to pull thatcard out, the cancer card. More, I don't know, maybe some sympathy. You know, it could have been like, I'm a fucking cuntand I'm treating you like shit, but you can't say nothing because I gotcats at that's how I felt. That's really honestly how I felt, andI started thinking like would I be an asshole if I would, if Iwere to like call her out on it? Listen here, lady, you don'thave to tell me that you have cancer. You know, like alot of scenario started running through my head. Sure, and then I started thinkingabout like, you know, seventeen year old toby, dumb and youngand, you know, just an asshole. Would have been like go fuck yourself, grandma. Maybe, maybe not like that, but yeah, Iwould have. I would have smarted off and said something. But I alsohad my ten year old there and but for I wanted to say something sobad and ask her, why would you even bring that part up? Huh? Am I in the wrong? Like,...

Whoa what? Well, I definitelysee in the wrong. We was anyone in the wrong? I don'tknow. It's Walmart. I think it's a lawless place. It's really it'spretty harm and getting in there, you know what I mean. But yeah, I think, hindsight being what it is, what you should have donewas just say some really random shit to kind of throw her off. Youknow, if she just looks at you and snaps like what are you doing? I got fucking cancer. You Go. I'm I think, how Jelly Beando you like? HOUTING JELLY BEANS? Oh, they're really hard to countbecause you want to eat them all right away. I just see whatshe says to that, like she probably looking at be like, yeah,I can't fuck with this guy. He's crazy, crazy. I Say I'mtaking my cancer elsewhere. You know, I don't know. It just fuckingsay something really weird or off beat to kind of throw them off, youknow, return the favor. Yeah, but it just it. That's whatit threw me off that that was her goto like and I was I didn'tlike huff and puff. I was sitting there, obviously talking about candy.I wasn't like sitting there like fucking old ladies, she's being slow. Youknow, I didn't. I wasn't on the phone complaining. I was sittingthere talking to a ten year old kid. Yeah, I don't know. Itjust it just was the weirdest thing and the more and more I thoughtabout it, I was like why would this lady do say that out ofnowhere to a complete stranger? You know, again Walmart, a miserable person themoment they walk through the doors. It's like an enhancer fuckery that justmakes you even more miserable, like it's like a booster or, you know, kind of like fucking gives your DNA that extra shot of just being afucking Dick. I don't know. It's just one of those things of whitetrash. Yeah, yeah, your white trash powers rejuvenate. I'm in Walmart. It's just the way it goes. But you know, like you're sayingabout young toby, saying I fuck you grandma. Of course now you wouldn'tsay that. You did have a child with you even then, right,and then to if you did say that, you know what? You know,you're not going to win. No, you don't win anything. There's noprize for saying hey, you just hold off a nine year old lady, good for you. Yeah, the asshole if you do something like that. That's why I suggest to you, next time that happens, spit somethingout, just really weird and just have them think you're fucking nuts and letthem go away and about their day. But you know, the more andmore I thought about this, it makes me want next time I met Walmartand actually go through a line that has real people and not it's not aself check, Colby. Never yeah, but next time, and when they'rethey when they they do the the pleasant what is it? Pleasantries? Thethe how are you today? Oh yeah, the greeters. Well, I wantto just stop and just be like, you know, I've recently went througha divorce. Free therapy. I might be losing my job soon becausethe old fields not doing good. Yeah, freething here, free therapy, andyou get a little smiley sticker when you're done. Oh Man, yeah, yeah, you know, that's actually a great idea, because I hatelike every time you leave now they get a scan everything, you know,they see your soda, like, Hey, where you going with that Hawaiian PuneToil PAC man, get over here, I need to scan it, youknow. Oh well, you know, while you're scanning my Hawaiian Punch,let me tell you about this or that. You know, of seewhat had happened there, because that's something that does irritate me. I'm tryingto get the fuck out. I've aready spent too much time in there asis, so I'm leaving. I want to go. I I keep walkingbecause they can't here in Texas, they cannot stop you. Oh, unlessthey have reasonable belief that you have stolen something. Did you hear this froma cop? I've looked it up because I was getting harassed at my localWalmart every time I would try to leave because I have long hair and Ilook like a Hippie, and my ex wife had big gages and a bunchof tattoos. We look like little up to no good, punk ass teenagersbecause we both kind of look a little younger than we actually are. AreGood for you. So yeah, yeah,...

...thank you. But so I startedlooking it up because, you know, it was bullshit. And Yeah,they can. If you just keep walking, they can't stop you unlessthey have a belief that you have stolen something. So next time just saydo you think I stole anything and if they say yes, no or whatever, just keep walking. I'm just going to run anyway. Even if Ilaw Philly paid for it, it's gonna fucking book it like I'm guilty ofsin. To See, because he's fucking guys are just transience in yellow fuckingvest, you know what I mean? They haven't had any calisthenics or exerciseand probably the last s I'm surprised if, if they even had a solid mealthis morning, let alone anything else. So I'm going to fucking high tailit out of there really see if they try to, you know,make pursuit, which I doubt they would, so real quick. Here's a sidenote. This is something funny to tie into my my podcast, thesecret transmission podcast, conspiracies. There is an a and I think it's moreof a like tongue and cheek kind of goofy conspiracy. But it's still funnythat Walmart is ran by vampires. Oh yeah, that's why they have greetersto let you come in. They agree to you to come in, soyou can come in. Oh, come on now, get out. Hey, that's awesome. You know, that's awesome. No, it makes methink of like Buffy, the vampire slayer or something. It doesn't make methink of like some legitimate you know, the walls loss hanging upside down ina fucking closet, like I want to suck your blood, you know.There we suck my wallet dry. Why the fuck do they need my blood? Yeah, see, I was it was an interesting little tidbity tossed inthere. Yeah, you know, if I can sneak a man, Itry. That's what you needed. To use with the old lady in frontof you in line, which is like not can a, whatever the hellyou said. He's been like, Hey, did you happen to know this storeis owned and operated by Vampires? Didn't? They'll think I'm actually crazy. That's a love it find. See Perfect now. We went all theway around, we danced around this whole topic, loddy'deedd and the answer wason your show the entire time. You didn't need to come on with me. You didn't need to do that. So, Hey, we've now reachedthe part of the program where I would like to thank the show is sponsors, because they provide some great products to us and, as a result,I get to give some awesome cupon codes to you. First Up, wehave Northland Vapor Company, and they can be found at Northland vaporcom. Theyare the makers of some truly outstanding e liquids for Vaping, and let metell you something. All of your liquids and juices are dike, tone andartificial sweetener free. And you may be asking yourself, why is this importantand what are you telling me this for? Well, in this day and agewhere everybody's concerned about what you're putting into your bodies. It's nice toknow that northland cares about telling you what they are putting in their product.Plus, their motto is quality doesn't need to be costly, so they're notgoing to rake you over the coals or rob your wallet just because you choosea healthier lifestyle of vaping over smoking. And if you visit Northland Vaporcom,you can save nineteen percent off your entire order by using codes selling out nineteen. Next up we have spunk lube. Oh boy, how I love mesome spunk makers of award winning lubricants, and I know some of you outthere might be a little timid, might be a little bit shy and think, Oh, I don't know if I want to use those, I don'teven know if I want to order those. Well, first, let me tellyou the shipping process is incredibly discrete. You're not getting a big package inthe mail that screams hey, I'm buying lube. Second, you knowwhat, Love Life can get a little bit stale. You might need tospice in it up, and the best way to do that is with spunk. While all the professionals in the adult film industry have all the fun weyou can bring spunk right into your home. Trust to me. Try It.Go to spunk lubecom today and you can thank me later. Last butnot least, we have alpine hemp. The sea bed revolution has arrived.If you haven't heard about c bed yet,...

...you're truly missing out, as itcan really help you with stress, sleep issues, pain problems, youname it. There's a whole Littney of things at CBD is there to helpyou with. I'm an avid user of CBD Myself, and let me tellyou, Alpine Hempcom has everything you could possibly need, from oils to Tingsures, to gummies to edibles, you name it. They even have petfriendly products. Is No better place to go, and it is truly aone stop shop. Plus, the website is easy to navigate. Whether you'renew to trying CBD or you like me and have been using it for quitea long time, you were going to love Alpine hemp and now's the timeto try it, because if you go to Alpine Hampcom and use code sellingout nineteen, you save nineteen percent off your entire order. Off there alreadylow prices, so what are you waiting for? Get on over there andremember when you shop with our partners, you help support the show and forthat I thank you. When I was a teenager, I had a buddyof mine who is completely enamored with a celebrity, and and that's normal.You know a lot of people that they have a celebrity crush or I knoweven couples have a list of maybe celebrities they can kind of get a freepass or haul pass on. It's all fantasy. It's never going to reallyhappen, but it's natural. You See Stars or these these rich folks andyou think, Oh boy, I'd like to tap the hell out of that. You know, his was courtney love. Now, mind you, back thenin the S, her style and stuff was in. It was coolto, you know, be alternative, to be rock or what have you. But still she was not the ideal, I opposed, celebrity to be crushingon. So we kind of gave him heaping rations a shit right.You know, you got a picture her in your bedroom. I mean,come on, look at her, she's fucking you know, the taste issubjective, but she's ugly as a day is long. Here she is uglyas the day is long. So this led me to ask you right now. Have you ever had an odd crush, if you will, for any anybodyon the boob tube or in the movies or music or anything else likethat of notoriety? Okay, okay, I've got a cut. I've gota couple celebrity crush who you get to? Holy CALCI here too, I've gotto. And then a third one just because I'm a sick human being. We might deem you sick after we hear the first one, so let'sjust kind of go through those first. So one of my early celebrity crusheswas Jennifer Tilly. Oh, sure, this, I loved her. AndBride of Chucky. Yeah, but that's not really weird. She's very attractive. Well, no, no, she's knows she's that. That's not oneof my weird ones, I don't think. I mean, I haven't seen herin years, but it was just that one movie that I was like, oh, she's so hollow takes. And Bride of Chuck. He's aterrible movie. So does it matter now? I also have a a infatuation withand and this person has passed away, Brittany Murphy. Oh Yeah, yeah, from my eight mile and Yep, a clueless right what? My favoritemovie that she was in was called across the hall, where she's ashe's being accused. She's in a hotel room and she's being accused of cheatingby her husband and he's in the other the hotel room across from her,and she doesn't know that he's in the other room and he there on thephone the majority of the movie. Okay, so good. Okay, that soundsterrible, but they're on the phone in the entire movie, the majorityof the movies. Like I do, I really want to pay to seesomeone talking on the phone. But okay, so these first two, okay,not that far fetch. It's not...

...somebody that you'd kind of be ribbedor made fun of for admitting that you like how they look. So okay, let's hear number three. The number three. That now it's not acrush. But I want to see her boobs. Oh well, that's okay, that's it. You just want to be flashed. I just want tobe flashed. But she has two passed away recently. Okay, now it'sgetting creepy. Well, I mean I don't want to see like passed awayboobs, but Beth from dog the bounty hunter. What? What? Okay, you're so big, like, yeah, obviously so big. I want tosee you. I just curiosity. I need to see I wanted tosee. Well, I mean the whole thing with that is, do youjust need to see a big pair or specifically her big prayer? Because Iused to love dog the bounty hunter and just one day I was like,her boobs have to be really, really weird. Well, large, large, yeah, way too large. Huh? So, yeah, I just wantedto see her boobs. That's that's okay. Well, again, thisis, you know, a little awkward now that she's not of this earthanymore. Yeah, now, yeah, no, no, now it's aweird topic to talk about. A year ago it would have been funny orwell, for me, you know, I'm trying to mentally process what youjust said and I'm thinking I could just show him any huge rack. No, no, it's got to be Beth. They hadn't Ben. There's going tobe something else about her that you like. No, there's nothing.I don't think she's attractive. I just I think you're lying to me andyou're lying to yourself. That has to be something else going on here.I don't know the one. I don't know. I mean you could goon any website right now and just look up ginormous tits, yes, andyou would probably find something very similar to what she was rocking, probably.So you can just imagine her face on the neck and big to Bambi themoment. But see, that's that's why it's it's like a crush because Ibut it's not. I don't know. It's a sick, sick obsession thatI had. Yeah, well, okay, let's not call it them a sobsession, because that makes it feel like I just sit there and thinkabout her boobs and a card room all day. Yeah, I actually havea head cold right now and you just made something erupt on my face.I just shortled and we just said which is bad. Thank God I'm noton the Youtube right now, but right. Yeah, so, I mean again, the first two normal. The last one is just yeah, that'sweird. That that counts. I'm sorry. I feel like I have to apologizeto WHO, but I don't know everyone that just heard me be soweird. Okay, all right, toby is sorry. So that does itfor our celebrity crush is segment. I like to move on to something elsenow. You asked for that. Be that. Well, yeah, Imean, I guess just to close everything out. As far as me,I've always kind of liked an exotic look to begin with, so people whoknow me wouldn't think anybody that I found attracted to be too far fetched outof the realm of you know, something that I've already expressed interest in.I suppose the one, though, that if I ever bring it up,you know, you sit with your buddies on the couch and you flipping throughTV like Oh, stop right there, and they say why and I goAH, look, nee se Nashes on TV. Neasy, Naw, yeah, who's that? You don't know her? She was on okay, good,Google it, but she was on a few shows. She was onlike one of those house flipping the shows, but she was also on ree ouone. Oh, okay, she's on that new show, or itwas new show clause. For some reason,...

I always found her very appealing andpeople really wanted to bust my hump about it. Why? I mean, what do you think, toaster? I think I'm on board with you, all right. See, Hey, I think I'm on board all right. I mean they don could just be that I want to see her boobs. No, Oh, no, no, I'm just kidding. She's pretty's verypretty. You're not kidding. That's the worst part. You're not evenkidding in the least. I am seventy five percent. Yeah, Toby Schoolfeel the breast man strikes again. Will like, but the do they run? And is no? WHOA? Toby, I love hearing about your personal lifeand, to be honest with you, a lot of it, since you'rea single guys, fairly tragic. So lately we've been ending the showwith some of your woes, you're dating woes, and I was wondering haveyou brought any more to the table this evening? Yes, I have,like a I feel like I get real personal on your show, like Iopen up. This is like a free therapy. Sometimes I talk about wantto see celebrity boobs. Yeah, I'll send you a sticker like the WalmartGuy. I really will. I'm not fucking run. I'm going to sendyou a sticker. So there you go. Yes, all right, so Ireally want to see what you think about this particular story, because Ididn't think of it as a date. Okay, so let me be veryclear. It was not in any way, shape or form a date in mymind. Well, let's hear the story first and then we can kindof side. You know what the social structure was for the whole thing?Yeah, you got to tell me, because everyone that I've told the storyto there like that was a date that went really bad. Okay, let'shear it. So on my tender I was I was all swapping. Isaw a friend that moved away about fifteen years ago. So I haven't spoketo this person and I was confused because I knew they had moved to Californiaand they were showing up in my area. So I got on facebook to findher and sure enough she was back in Texas. So I added heron facebook. A week or two goes by and she accepts and I messaged. I'm like hey, how you doing? I haven't talked to you a longtime. Not Again. I didn't swipe on her on tender because,again, this isn't an old friend, but at this point she has noidea. You went from tender to facebook, which is like from ass to mouth, basically. Yes, okay, yes, it's when you put itthat way, I feel like now I'm a little bit of a creeper,but and I saw yes, and you learned. Yes, you are.Damn it. This show is not making me look good right now. It'sfine anyway. It makes me look terrible all the time. Continue, please. So she she says, Hey,...

...we should get drink sometime and catchup and stuff, and I was like cool, that sounds awesome. Sowe did just that. We made plans. We were going to go to aterrible local bar that's here in my town, because she lives in thenext town over currently. She came over to my house and she brought abunch of pictures and we're looking at like high school pictures and in middle schoolpictures, and we ended up going up to the bar. So we're sittingthere having a good time, laughing, talking about old stories. You knowwhere we've been in the last fifteen years, what's happened, just doing all thecatching up, and she starts drinking a lot. Yeah, a lot. Yeah, I have a buddy who is always at this Bar, whosat beside her, on the other side of her at the bar. Yeah, and he starts hitting on her. Course he's no dummy. You know, if it let's just say this is a date first off, and Ibrought this girl. Now my buddy is trying to hit on her, whois also like fifteen years older than me. So and her, because you know, we're the same age. Somehow he starts talking about her feet andends up massaging her feet right there in the bar, at the Bar,and you know, it kind of a little awkward. Oh, but youknow it's not a date. Can I interrupt you right now because I wantto correct something. Okay, I just mentioned a few minutes ago that I'vesounded creepy on my own show plenty times before. I've never been this creepy, so you do have that distinctive honor now. Congratulations. You to dothat, screepy. This whole this whole story is starting to creep me thefuck out, man. Okay, okay, let me keep going, because thisisle Lee, it's Fart. Okay, so this guy is like telling herthat he's got a foot fetish and stuff, while I'm sitting there.Yeah, again, if this was a date, my buddy is a terriblewing man and she's getting more and more drunk, and one of my otherfriends, wait, keeps walking by talking shit to me. She pull outher feet? or No, well, he took off her shoes and andhe started massaging her feet and was talking about, you know, her feet. Okay, all right, all right. So the other buddy comes up.He's he keeps walking by and we're doing the whole like fuck you,buddy, kind of you know thing. Yeah, sure, well, I'llbonding as fuck you. Yeah, you are, Bundy. Yeah. Soshe's getting really drunk righting at this point and she kind of starts throwing injabs as he walks by, and he starts throwing jabs back at her,like who the fuck is this chick? No one talked to her, youknow, doing the I'm a I'm big tough guy. Next thing I know, he walks by and he's doing the same thing. She stands up andgoes straight to him and grabs him by the back of the head and pullshim in and starts making out with him right there. Uh. So youguys shoot a fucking screwed on that, did you? Did you pay forany of these drinks or I was paying for Christ so you're he brought ita you pay it for the drink. Here this sweet guy. Look atthese pictures of us in high school. Then creepy old foot fetish guy comesup, which a foot fetish to me is weird anyway, because why wouldanybody discriminate against male feet versus female feet? That means you just gotta like allfeet. You know what I mean? That's a good point. Yeah,okay, so he's all fucking. He's shut now. He was tryingto do the whatever foot fucking assault. And then this one guy treats itlike absolutely she's a who the focus this broad she's like, come here,I'm gonna Kiss You. Yeah, Huh. And so now, like everyone atthe you know because I frequent this...

...bar, everyone is looking at melike, dude, your girl, it's just making out with other dudes.Yeah, but that wasn't the case. So let me just ask is,what do you think? This started out as a date and I just I'moblivious to like knowing what a date is, and then it just went really southbecause I don't know how to date and she was just like fuck thispussy, I'm going for some men it. Yeah, I think. I thinkyou fucked up. I think, yeah, to be honest with you, because you went here with her. You're the one who paid for herto get lubricated mentally, right, either one paying for the drinks? Youbuying her drink. So did you continue to buy her drinks all this shitwas going on? I probably bought her another drinker to yeah, see,you know. Yeah, Dude, sorry, but I'm not trying to condone takingadvantage of other people, especially not women in that kind of situation.No, no, but but I mean it's like you set up, youlaid the foundation for the house, and then everybody's kind of jumped in andwas like hey, now it's our house, and you're like no, but Ipoured the concrete. I don't care, I'm living here. You know whatI mean? That was the terrible thing to say, but as thefirst thing that came into my mind. But you know, that was yourterritory, if you will, to stake acclaim on. I'm making this evenworse. I'm sounding like you now, I'm getting creepy, but but yeah, you fucked up. Okay, okay, see again. Everyone that I've toldthe story to, I'm like, they're like, oh, your datewas making out with other people. Know She. I don't think it wasa date and, as ever, intended did you talk to her the nextday? Did she leave with the guy? What happened was the aftermath, wasthe fall out. We ended up going out to I hoop and thenI brought her back to my house and she got in her car and left. Really, so you let her drive drunk? No, we she soberedup. She was much more sober after I hop and everything else. Pan. Thanks. Oh here you got me to add to my poor SOB story. Sure, so, I had to go to work. It was threeor four in the morning before we got back to my house. I hadto go to work at five, so I got an hour of sleep.Got Home and my cat was sick and I had to go put him downat the vet that same day. Wow, yet that. Look at that.Jeez, it was a sheet. It was a shitty twenty four hoursyou date goes off, fucking plays foot seas with some old guy, makesout with another guy. Then you fucking cat goes to fucking kitty heaven.You know, terrible toby. That's fucking awful. But then me and herwent to a concert a week later. So you pay for it. Yeah, dumb son of a bitch. Oh my God, I'm a Bush overmy God. Yeah, good, Lord, good. That a date, doyou think? Yeah, I mean, come on, you know, Imean this whole thing. When you went again, you found run totender. Then you were interested enough to connect on facebook and you physically wentout places. You paid for everything, and I yeah, yeah, comeon now, I just said. Well, like I said, she was agood friend in high school. Saw, I was. But okay, youwere interested. Correct, Um, I think she's attractive. There yougo. Yeah, okay, but I wasn't like now, you got mein a spot, because I don't feel like I was trying to zoom in, sweep in like that. Yeah, well, trust me, you wouldhave, if given the opportunity. That you didn't get right to stay.Hey, I'm a gentleman. Yeah, sure are. Yeah, they're right, you are quite the gentleman. Footing the bill. You like that punythrough in there. Ye, I knew something was going to happen after yousaid footing the bill. Yeah, for...

...all that and her escapades, they'reso yeah, sorry, dude, but that was just a bad date.Yeah, well, seems like a string of them, a couple of them, you know. So you know, did she stop talking to you,like when did she cut it off. We still talk, okay. Well, we haven't hung out in a while but, like you know, Itext her see how she's doing and she text me every once in a while. We talked about music a lot. We have a lot of the samemusic interests. And Yeah, we talked. We always talk about music. Okay, mostly should recommend this show. You should tell her, tell herto tell her listen to the selling out show. I don't think I'm gonnado that. That's only person I'm not going to promote it to. Reallyas too bad, because you might actually she might look at this and theerror of her ways and you could have a love connection there. I couldbe cool or actually good chuck woolery, since the real chuck woolery is afucking piece of shit, and, you know, make a love connection foryou. So you're missing up, buddy. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Well, now you know, Toby, you didn't mention it this whole time, but I've been sick. I've had this terrible head cold, but stillI am here producing content for all the fine folks out there right because that'swhat I do, that's what I enjoy to do. I love doing this. You dig you love hearing your own voice. Well, that too,that is included. But I like putting, you know, our lives out therefor people to listen to. Some people can really dig it, enjoyit, get some value out of it, hopefully more than I maybe than Ieven do myself. So I want to take a second and thank eachand every one of you for listening today. I truly appreciate it. Virtual hugsfor each and every one of you. Do you feel that right now?That is me squeezing you and I'm probably too close to you and you'vecaught my cold. So Ha, take that, motherfucker. But anyway,I am Dave. That is toby filling in for nate, and this hasbeen sell you out infirmary media. How to show up with cocacola energy.You're tired and you're thinking of canceling on your friends. Don't do it.Every time you cancel on a friend, a Unicorn loses its horn and becomesa regular horse. Do you really want that on your contents? Instead,grab an ice cold can of cocacola energy with delicious coke taste and reinvigorating energy. Keep the UNICORNS alive. Show up every day with Cocacola Energy, energy, you want, taste, you love. Hey, I'm Maurice. As abarber, you might think my scissors are my main tool, but reallyit's metro. That's where I got my iphone seven. It's camera makes sharingmy cuts as simple as snip, snap, share. Right now, get aniphone seven with a camera that shoots K for just for thousand nine hundredand ninety nine. When you switch to the number one brands and prepaid metroby Tmobile, rule your day requires port inevidual number not going to be actedon tmobile, that we're poor, active on metro past ninety days, andverification of hiding and independent Dabase. Then it for percounce, Househol thirty,cope by I phone seven model on you, no temper and C store for detailsin terms of emissions,.

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