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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 42 · 2 years ago

Ep.#42 Christmas Dump

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hark, it's time for a Christmas dump! No, not the kind that flushing rules apply to. We decided to mark the season by discussing, well, what's on our minds as we sit round ye old yule log. Wait, that last bit actually sounds like flushing rules could apply...Anyway, here's what we got for you this year: Feline vulgarity, The odd sounds humans make in uncomfortable situations (6:54), the pure addiction that is Disney Plus (13:25), getting ghosted by a potential employer (32:15), Toby's tragic Tinder stories (38:07), a Nate update, giveaway details and MORE! Best part, unlike the jolly fat man in a red suit, we could care less if you've been naughty or nice! CLICK PLAY
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Hey, I'm Maurice. As a barber, you might think my scissors are my main tool, but really it's metro. That's where I got my iphone seven. It's camera makes sharing my cuts as simple as snip, snap, share. Right now, get an iphone seven with a camera that shoots for K for just for one thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. When you switch to the number one brands and prepaid metro by Tmobile, rule your day requires port, inevalentual number not going to be active on tmobile network for active on Metro in past ninety days and verification of hiding and independent Abase than it for percount household. Thirty two kick by I phone seven model on you, no temper and C store for details in chems of emissions, infirmary media. Merry Christmas, ry Christmas, Merry Christmas, all right, Christmas. Kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, happy, honk your what it does is beaches into your brain chemically and low cet your happiest memory chemically and then blocks on to that emotion and releases it chemically, and then it keeps your happy, happy. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the selling out show. I am one of your host, David Shilts, and Looky, look you over here to what the cat drug in Mr Toby scope field, filling in for nate, told me. How the Heck Are you? I'm doing pretty good. Actually have a cat in my lap right now as I record you. Do you have a pussy in your lap? Yeah, yeah, that's a nervous chuckle if I've ever heard one, it's the silly pussy cat I got coming to sit in my lap right now. Well, you just said the only pussy cat coming is sit in your lap right. Well, I felt I felt really Raunchy just saying pussy. Okay, I added PUSSYCAT. So that made you feel Raunchy. Made you feel dirty? It did make me feel a little dirty. Your tongue soiled right now. Do you need to a cat? Look that Pussy put up his clean your tongue with it. No, I'm good. This is a long haired cat. I don't know if that'd be that'd be too much fun. Dude, for Real, you just sounded like a cat. You like, yeah, like you're meowing like a cat now. How many cats do you have? I have to too too. I had three and till one recently passed away about two months ago. I had him for like eight years. It was really sad. That's an oilers that it was an old pussy. That's too bad. He's really it's rough to see an old pussy go bye bye, you know. But no, but hey, two cats. You know, you plan on getting anymore, you can become like the crazy cat guy in your neighborhood. I was almost considering getting a dog here recently and then I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to train a dog to not piss in my house, and it just cats are so much easier. And then I was like, you know, I don't even want to a third cat again, because then I got to train a cat to not, you know, use my laundry basket as a come out litter box. Okay, so, yeah, no, no, I think I'm just sticking with these two and that's it. They're going to live forever, so it'll be okay. Oh, yeah, they're gonna live forever. I'm mortal cats. You're like, I'm far Oh Fara, Oh toby of tracts. Wow, it's very interesting, just like it's going to be very interesting for all the listeners today because we have prepared absolutely nothing. This essentially this because Christmas is right around the corner, folks. Okay, so I want to consider this our Christmas dump episode. We can just get our feelings out on the table, whatever we want, really, whatever it's been on our minds or anything we've been up to. Just kind of throw it out there on the air waves. But I will say later on we do have...

...a nate update, which I'm going to coin that and put that on a t shirt because it rhymes the name update, and we're going to be traveling down that Snow Laden, sad road known as Toby's dating woes, meaning your pitiful love life. That sounds exciting. It's. It's exciting and embarrassing. So that's what makes it exciting. Why would it be embarrassing? And if it was so embarrassing, why would you come are to talk about it? You know, I feel like getting these stories off my chests. Yeah, letting other people know that if you're a sad loser like me that doesn't know how to date, like, Uh Huh, you can. You can be like hey, at least I'm not that Toby Guy. All right, so you're hoping the selling out listeners are as pathetic and lonely as you are. I hope they're not. Okay, it's pathetic and lonely. I want them to be like hey, I'm having a rough time right now, but at least I didn't, I didn't fumble tender message like that. Ding Dong Toby. Yeah, that Ninny, that a frigging mini. So you can be hitting this with some tinder troubles later. Is that we trying to hint? Daddy's just kind of like a spoiler alert. I got a couple of tender stories. Cool, I have none. So I you know my days, way before that, I was plenty of fish guy, which is like the Cesspool of dating, or it was back then. I'm sure it still is. And Oh and before I forget, I want to mention this to all the listeners out there as well. We have a giveaway. Now. You are listening to the show right now, which is a great thing and I appreciate it, but you know, a be just a tad bit better if you went on Itunes, if you're an apple user, whatever, and leave a five star rating for the show, because if you do, you will automatically be entered to win a bottle of spunk loube from our partners from where else? Spunk Loup, I just said their name. So I suck at this just like toby doesn't dating. But anyway, if you do that five star review, because you know I don't want to eat like mid range or crappy reviews or lumps of cold at Christmas time, this is Lube for love here. People, you know, don't even finish this episode. Stop, pause it, leave that five star review screenshot at whatever. You can. Send it to selling out show at GMAILCOM or DMPM any of our social media networks, if that's what they call it, and I guess what, you may just win. So do that and you know it's it's so helpful for any show to get any review. Like I'm I'm a big promoter of like please, just you don't have to leave one of my shows a review, but leave your favorite shows a review, because it helps, and I won't why. When we get a good review, that makes it puts a little pep in my step all day. I don't know about you, but that's how I am. I'm like hey, yeah, someone thought I was good enough to give a five star review and says nice things. What about if you get a bad review, do you pound your pussy? No, I don't take it out on the Pussy. No, why my poor cats don't? Don't say that. This is like a terrible Christmas episode. By the way, it's not really like a Christmas episode, but I just let off by saying the P word. Yeah, so many times that I probably would be kicked out of the North Pole by now. I'm a Naughty Elf. Are you uncomfortable? Have you ever been uncomfortable? Many of times, Blney and time. Sure, I mean, I know I have, and most of that comes from let's say. I'm going to give you a little scenario here. Let's play make believe, Du Lud Ludolu. Let's put ourselves in our thespian roles. You're on this isle of the supermarket, Okay, you're coming down with your basket. You get cereal, fruit loops in there, whatever you like to eat. Yep, here I come. I'm taking a left turn around the peas. You're about to hit me with your cart. You look up split second before we collide. What noise do you make?...

So mine is Oh, that's only. That's great, because mine is oop. And I started to think about this because that's allows you sound. That's a that's a terrible sound to make. I mean, you want to be more like you know it would dudes. You want to be like Alpha Male, like roar. I'm like get, get out of my way, this is a warning shot. Raw. But no, we go oop, oop, dainty, dainty, little oop. That's right. It's like someone fucking squeeze your balls. To odd anyway, but it's like inherent in me, is in my DNA, that if I am in an uncomfortable situation, I was bumped into somebody or there's a flub somewhere in a real world experience, I go oop. You know, I don't. Where does that come from? You other people make that noise? Or is it just me and you, because we both have different like tone? Now he's kind of like different ways of saying it, but it's still an oop and it isn't my mind's out. Oh yeah, but you know, and it's funny because usually I'm the first one that's like, Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, I wasn't paying attention. I like I apologize immediately, and I'm also the same person that's like if they don't like smile or like give me an od like Oh, it's okay, I'm immediately when I walk away I'm like fuck film, they didn't say it was okay, like I need, I need that justification of I was, I was okay, it was okay. I think the ope within itself is already apologetic enough that you didn't really need to say I'm sorry. But even even the fact that you did makes you doubly sorry for an act that maybe wasn't even fully your fault. Maybe, maybe that's what it is. Is that noise come, this is this feels like I know what I'm talking about, but I don't. As we're say, what if it's a way to show that you're not trying to be Alpha male. You're not trying, you're trying to be like look, I'm I'm I am human, I made mistake. I but it's not that at all, Tobester, because we don't do it consciously. No, not at all. It's Oh, if I say I mean so, maybe you're trying to say like your subconscious is thinking, like that's the purpose behind that noise making. I don't know, I don't get it. Maybe we need to go like boot camp for tough guys. What do you think caveman used to do, like when they were like, you know, of trying to get the same apple out of the tree or something and they bumped into each other. Do you think? Do you think they had a noise where they were just like Oh, I'm sorry, it's probably better than ope or Oop, it's probably Oga Uga or something. I feel like they would just straight getting a fist fight. No noise required, just no noise. They would just they would bump into each other and it they'd have a second or two stair off and then one would swing, throw up those fucking ham hawks and fuck it, let's roll. That's right, apple, you cock sucker. Wow. But now in two thousand and nineteen, we're going, oh, yeah, I think, yeah, I don't know, I need those popped hearts. I don't know. And that's I don't hear a lot of people doing it in public. It's just always me. so that bothers me. I hope we never bump into each other one day and we're like Oho, Oh, don't you like foo? Sorry, Mimes doing the fake mirror like we're trapped in a mirror box to each other like woop, woop, oop, Oh oh ha ha ha ha we are pathetical losers. Yeah, are not men. Yeah, exactly. What did our testosterone go? Where did it go? Do other men do this? I don't even hear women making noises, let alone men. I don't even hear animals making noises. Why us? Yeah, yeah, Whoa, yeah, animals don't. Don't make any noise. If they, they might hiss at each other, like, but it's a dominant like noise. Bumping your cap right now, see what noise it makes. He just me out at me. Go, yeah, that was like a high. That was the equivalent of hello you. And and now he's like jumping...

...in my lap. He's like, Oh, you wanted to pet me. Is that why you bump me? There you go. Thinking's dominant. He's the Alpha in this house as it man, we are fucking low on the totem pole of life and we're gonna figure a way to climb that son of a bitch, because this can't continue anymore. This is ridiculous. I've had enough. No more oop or oop in my life. I'm done with it. I've had it. Is that your first resolution of the New Year? I don't make resolution. No, I don't make resolutions. I will not do that, but I don't know, I might have to actually have to rip out my vocal cords to stop from doing it, or become a hermit and never, you know, go out in public again. That's the only way I can possibly avoid making that noise. Those are my only two options. That's it. I have to stop making this noise. So I'm locking myself away and throwing away the key. That's it, you know, or I'll get like an electric call or something. Is that myself? I don't know that, but still, this is a really troubling thing to me and it's going to keep me awake tonight and maybe many nights afterwards. I hope you have some listeners that ride in and say hey, I make this noise and they try to spell it out so we can try to like pronounce it. But I would love to know what other people say, because I've never thought about this. The only thing I could possibly make me feel better about the noise making is if somebody wrote in and told me they like emptied their bladder, you know, and piss themselves and an uncomfortable situation, because I go well, at least it's not that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I need something worse, so I feel better about myself. That's how that's how life, you know, boils down to you, like you've got to be miserable, so I feel better. Yes, exactly, that's it. Yes, I just now. I did figure it out. I'm not clueless anymore. You, you're so toabster. Guess what's up? You're hanging out with cats. You know what I'm doing. What are you doing? Chilling with the mouse, baby, chilling men the fucking mouse. I am hooked on the Disney plush. Taken enough of it. You have it in your house. Actually, I am borrowing my brothers did his Disney plus account. So, yes, the gift that keeps on giving this holiday season. Yep, I'm screwing the mouse right now, are you? You wouldn't do anything with that? That I am I evenna get back into that. That whole bit is over, but you know, you know where I was going with that. Yes, I do. The thing is, my whole household is crazy for this Disney plus and I like it, but it's got some limitations that are making me a little pissed off, so to speak. No adult content. Well, no, no, that's not it because, well, you know it's funny is I was watching fled of the navigator with my kid the other day and I haven't seen this movie in years, but there were a couple of cuss words in that. So I had to do the and I brought this up on the show before. I like to watch things with captions, so I kind of know a split second before a naughty word POPs on the screen. I can really loud and if I think my son hurt it, I'm like hey, bad words, they worse than drugs. Don't say them. You know I do that whole trip on them or whatever. But there's some things I want to watch there aren't available, even though they're Disney product. Like what I've been hankering for the lone ranger, the the new one with Johnny Depp. Yeah, well, it's not new. It's been well, I mean, I mean it's not. It's not like you know from the s or something. Well, no, no, and actually, the whole uncomfortable pause after I said Lone Ranger, I was witting for you to say something like is he a male stripper? Who's this lone ranger that you speak of? No, no, I know, I know. Other the lone ranger at and that's why I was confused that you wanted to watch the newer one. Yeah, I thought it was a cool movie, Dude. I there some movies like that that are remakes. They're not like world beaters. They're not something that I would write home to my family and Sayd family, I've seen the greatest movie of all time,...

...but they're enjoyable popcorn flicks and that's one that's on my list of ID like to see that again. But when you look it up on Disney plus, it says it's not available until April. First, two thousand and twenty one cheese high host silver away. What's going on with that? Yeah, you would think. Well, I mean they got to give you con sent they give they've given you so much content. Now that they've got a they got to spread it out a little bit. I mean they can't just give you everything and then, you know, you watch everything in a month and then you're like all right, well, I never need Disney plus again. Yeah, but there's a lot of stuff on there. But I mean they still have to appeal to parents as well. I don't know. You know, there's some things that I'm going to tell you this story right now that appeal to your nostalgia noodle gives a little tickle. Like I grew up as a kid and the amazing spider man and his amazing friends was like one of those things that fueled my fandom for comic books everything. So I have a lot of great memories of that show. So the other day I'm like, Hey, it's on Disney plus. Let me give it a play and, to be honest with you, toby, it fucking sucks. It's a terrible show. Yeah, yeah, it's a it's not so good. No, it's not so good. So I'm like, well, Huh, and I'm scanning through things and of course I watched the Mandalorian and I'm not a big star wars guy either. I've always liked star wars more when I was a kid and later in life. But it's a cool show. I dig it. But they do that thing too where it's like the growing trend now on streaming services where they are nixing the binging and you have to wait per week to see an episode like you would on broadcast TV, and that bullshit. It is bullshit because I signed up for Disney plus and there was five episodes of the Mandalorian already for me to watch, so I did fucking binge it, and now I got to wait like a junkie for his next fix. I want more, Baby Yoda. You said that you watched spider man and his amazing friends. My first Goto was the s xmen cartoon series. Yeah, I missed that. That passed. I pass that whole thing by, that whole era. That was my childhood. That's that's the only reason I got nerdy is because of that show. You get nerdy. Huh. What did it to you? See, I was too busy trying to get some drugs and Poonati back then. I was I was, I'm older than you, right. So I missed the whole Batman, the animated series, Xmen, all that stuff. I was off doing my own adventures. I was a mutant that point in time of my own. We'll see. I now this is going to sound crazy, but this is what I honestly believe. I think a lot of those cartoon shows that I watched in the s Ninja, turtles, Batman, you know, I was a junkie for all of them, spider man, you name it, I power rangers. Yeah, I feel like I don't think I'm the best person in the world. Before I say this, like I don't have my flaws. Yeah, I feel like a lot. A lot of the morals I have, okay, and you know, I had good parents and everything, but like a lot of the morals I had of like doing good and doing rye comes from those stupid s cartoons. They had to have worked, because I basically just said you were a lousy human being. While you were talking, you didn't skip a beat. You kept going on with your sentiment, US slowing down to say, Dave, shut the fuck up, man going. So, yes, your moral fiber is strong and good, it's sturdy. Well, and I do. I'm not trying to go on a rant here, but I think all like the cartoons for kids nowadays are like really quick and fast and like your sex life. You left that wide open, dude, like keep a gap open. I'm jumping in that like fucking a spelunker. But like, you know, like spongebob, it's it's weird humor and like that's the big thing all kids like now. Have you ever heard of that uncle GRANDPA show?...

No, haven't seen it. It's like spongebob but on crack and that's that's how all the kids shows are nowadays, and I feel like, Huh, there's there's nothing like. It's worse than like Tom and Jerry kind of you know, Tom and Jerry's all the slapstick, Bang, boom, boom kind of stuff. It's not even like that. It's just dumb. All the all the cartoons now are dumb. You know what? My son loves captain underpants on Netflix. HMM, and that is one of those Bang Bang shows that make me think it's going to give you a kid like an epileptic seizure because they jump, they cut scene so fast, they go from puppetry to animation. And I mean the humors, gross crude humor that appeals to a seven year old. It's all about barting and peeing and puking. So it doesn't really have any educational value whatsoever, unless that's like a field of study that I'm not aware of, but still, I'm like, Whoa, this is like a really spastic, wild show where to give him a fucking, you know, headache. Yeah, I feel like that's the that's the difference between like cartoon content from when I was a kid there was kind of a moral overlaying story, like in each episode, like Oh, Raphael, you shouldn't steal pizza from Michaelangelo, like it's bad. He hurt his feelings, like you know, but they would still fight ninjes in between, and you're like yeah, hell yeah, but I learned something kind of and now it's just like yeah, fart jokes and just constant content. I know there was show rent and Stumpy, and I'm not saying that there wasn't shows like that, but it's like every show is like that for kids. Now I can't keep up with watching them with my kids anymore. Like it's it's like I don't know, I'm gonna go do the dishes or something. Go Watch spider man and his amazing friends on Disney plus. That's where you're gonna get your you know that that core value back. Yeah, do the right thing, man. You know the pis are though. I'll tell you that I appreciate all the Pixar movies on Disney plus because I am a tender soul and I shed tears over these films. Right. have no hormones whatsoever. I have some man boobies and I see these fucking movies and they just tear at me emotionally. They got me. Which one's your favorite? Oh Wow, that's a great question. As far as pixar movies goes, UM, honestly, off the top of my head, I'm going to say up. Okay, because that was like really the first one that gave me that emotional response so deep where I was like wow, that was just masterful storytelling. And while I can appreciate animation and this whole new so I even knew it shows how old we are. You're saying, Oh, the lone rangers knew. I'm like, it's old. I'm saying pixars knew. It's old, but you know what I mean, where it's his own medium that you know, you didn't realize could have that much of an impact on you. It's right in cartoon, but damn, they do it so well in the storytelling is amazing. So it's good to have that library on Disney plus, but they really do need to up their game with some of the other flicks. And I also feel bad because I'm supporting the evil empire. Mickey doesn't need my money. He doesn't need my money, but he's offering that fucking that juice man, that crack, that sweet sweet pixar's sweet sweet nostalgia. Yeah, it's right there, my TV set for fucking whenever. Six hundred and ninety nine a month. Who can say no? WHOO, who? Not? You, not me. You're stealing a password. Hey, soon enough this is going to end up like we're going to have to go to like dark alleys and be scratching our neck and be like hey, can I get some of that Disney plus? Given a Pashway, you may get you guys should ashwere. I just need a password. Please come light it up for me, pottage, my hands is shaking. Can you light up that passway for me? But, yeah, exactly, you know, but I mean, I dig it, I get it. You know, it's one of those things. I'm over Netflix. I don't Need Hulu, I don't need whatever Disney...

...gives. It provides for me and nourishes my thirst for entertainment. You know, do you ever have like entertainment overload? No, no, I go from these heard. Well, I am too, but I go through these spells of like I'll watch, I will binge watch about fifteen shows at one time. Like I'll be I'll watch two or three episodes of this, two or three episodes of that and I'll, you know, kind of rotate through them. Uh Huh. And then like, I just refused to watch TV for two or three months. No, not me, I can't. I don't know what what it is, but I as much as I reject things, the older I get a lot of it being social media and stuff like that. TV is still one of those things and it's completely different from what the error that we were just discussing where you got your your values from, because we didn't have dvrs, we didn't have streaming, we didn't have all these things. So you just watch whatever was available at that time when you got home from school. But now it's like you have a Schmorgus Borg at Plethora of options to choose from to appease any taste you want. You want action movie, you want comedy, it's all there. Your fucking tippy or remote, your thumb can just go wherever you want and delight you immensely. Oh See, and that's that's a scary thing to just is how fast everything is. You remember having to wait for a VCR to rewind the tape. I still do, I I still have a VCR. Well then, you know exactly what I'm talking about, like that waiting and waiting for that click so you can hit play and then you'd fast forward through the the previews and stuff so you can get to the movie. It took time. Yeah, now kids just, you know, flip on the TV and it's all programmed right there and they can just go straight to spongebob or whatever the hell they're going to watch. Like we had to Bungebob thing going on. You got a Vandetta against that yellow, creepy bastard. It was the first thing since I've been talking about I think that was just on my mind, but you know what I mean, like it's so quick and everything, like there's no patience anymore. No, no, nor nor should there be. There's no reason for it. I remember explain him to my kid two days ago how I used to have to go to a library to research my homework and now it's fucking Google man, and you don't even need to type. You just talk in your phone. You just ask your phone just as scary anything, you just say hey, you know what, Damn phone went off. Did it right when you said that? Yes, go see, shut up, Siri, turn off. Dude. Don't even get me started on that. That's an episode in itself. I believe I've gone off on it before, but that whole fucking big brother spine on you shit man, Alexa and fucking sie. Not For me, no, but I usually have se the that that thing, I don't want to say her named it, but I usually have it turned off. I don't know what it's turned on, to be honest. Yeah, I think one episode. I think one time me and nate were toying with his Alexa, like asking you if he's going to murder him when he was sleeping, and it was very noncommittal with its answer. If I remember correctly, it was like, I don't know, I don't know have any information on that. Of course he don't. Murderer. Way, I don't want to take this whole show up. Talking about streaming is convenient and easy as it is, so I'm going to ask you this. What was the last good show that you binged? Oh, the last good show, I'm yes, sir, that I just like couldn't wait home, wait to get home from work, and US said that be that be the sweep of data. You know what what happens to me, though, is like even bad shows. I'm like, all right, I can't wait to get home and watch the show so I can be done with it, so I can move on to something else. Okay, man, the last tell me the last thing. You fucking washed for Christ sakes. That's it. See, I'm in one of those weird like I'm not really watching anything, like I watched a few episodes of American horror story. I tried to get into that. I didn't. I'm in one of those weird spots, but...

...you put me on the spot on this. Oh, I know. Yeah, Great. The last show that I was really digging was, I can't think of what it's called. WHO WE ANTICIPATION? I know it was killing everyone and I fumbled. Not Me. I just want to slap you and it's be like out with what was going on? Oh, damn it, it's a future man on Hulu. Never heard of it. Oh, I think it's called future man. It's it's it's basically like the the last star fighter. HMM, and he even references that movie and it he's like because it's he plays a video game and these people come and say you're the one that's going to save us in the future. Yeah, and they're training him, so he's like this is like the last star fighter. So I really it's a comedy. I loved it. It was great. Okay, that's cool. I'm glad you like it, even though you couldn't think of its name. It's watched it. Obviously I will. I want to tell you this, so avoid in everybody out there. Avoid this show. And it's been out for a while on Netflix and I kind of like suffered through it slowly. It was one of those things I'm like, I got to finish it. I started it and I really wish I didn't, but it was a living with yourself starring Paul Rudd on Netflix, absolute trash. That show sucked so bad and I want my time back. I want to go find Paul Rudd, is an ageable fifty year old face, and say, why did you subject me to this? Why did I follow you into fucking the danger zone and lose that many hours of my life with you? Why? You know? Never get them back, never get him back. And that's a show is poise for a sequel and hopefully Netflix doesn't like green light it. They had a great show called everything sucks, which is based in the s. So it was again. You know, we kind of talked a lot about nostalgia here, as we often do, but I mean it really it got you. It hooked you in with that and it was like a teenage drama, which I'm not superly fond of, but the actors really good, the script was good, it was funny and it didn't even make a blip on the radar. And they cancel it, I believe, before the first season was even Overdang, I'm mad about that. I'm the only guy like in the world saying, Hey, what happened to everything? Sucks, and I had to Google it and I could even find it on the first page and keep researching my no one knew the show existed and it was actually fucking good. But anyway, you were that one, the one viewer that was keeping it going for as long as it went. Yeah, I have by slap bracelet out. I was tight roll on my jeans. I'm like, yeahs my fucking error, man. Yeah, that was it. That was the like, no more for you, no more suit for you, asshole. Okay, everybody, time for a quick break to give hardy holiday thanks to the sponsors of the selling out show. Plus, Hey, Christmas, is right around the corner and, just like the jolly fat guy in the red suit, I'm here to give you some cupon codes, on some great gifts and stocking stuffers. These companies put out high quality products that I'm fond of and fuel the podcast that I present to you today. First Up, we have northland vapor, a onestop shop for all of your vaping supplies. There, each juices are dike tone and artificial sweetener free, allowing for a rich, flavorful vape. I recommend Blue Rats, which I'm actually enjoying right now, and at Northland. Quality doesn't need to be costly, and they still shift to all fifty states. visit them at Northland vaporcom and use the code selling out nineteen, for nineteen percent off your order. Next up we have spunk lube. Spunk is an award winning, non standing lubricant endorsed by a Bevy at professionals in the adult film industry. But why let them have all the fun? You can spice up your sex life today at spunk...

...lubecom. Last but not least, big thanks to Alpine hemp, the CBD Revolution has arrived and there's no better place to stock up on pure organic CBD products than Alpine Hempcom. They carry everything you would possibly need, from gummies, capsules tinctures. Heck, they even got pet products. Alpine HAP is your go to shop for everything CBD, which, let me tell you, works for me. And you can save nineteen percent off at check out by using codes selling out nineteen. And remember, when you shop with our partners, you're supporting the show. toabster. I need your opinion on something. Man To man, pal to pal, whatever the hell. El's buddy to buddy, you know. But I had some job problems recently. We're in I didn't have one and I really needed one. So a company I applied for told me I got the job. WHO great new? Yeah, Great News, but I needed a background check and a Yurin test for drugs. Now, listen, I got no problem with either or because I don't do drugs and I never really did anything bad enough to warrant any kind of consideration of you know, background check. I was never in jail, never. You know, you know what I mean. I there's nothing, think in my history. I'm a I'm a good dude. You hear that? Santa, good guy here, give me some candy. Anyway, this we're in December right, in my thinking correctly about all this, this is December, two thousand and nineteen. Yeah, yeah, okay, that was in October. Oh, oh, is correct. So after a couple weeks, because the woman at the the Human Resources Department told me, Hey, don't call us, we will call you because these things take time and it's sometimes it takes two or three weeks. Don't panic, the job is yours. She said, two or three weeks. Yep. So, anyway, as time progressed, I contacted her on like week four, maybe even like a week before that, just be like hey, just touching bass want to make sure everything's okay. Everything's fine, Dave. Relax, as I said before, I will call you. So then some personal things happened in my life and I had to make take a trip back to Massachusetts. So I contacted her and this is November, like what is going on? You know, you just kind of like leading me around. What's the deal here? You know, I feel like I'm being fucking ghosted. And she was like no, she's like there's a problem with your background check because you are currently in Texas and all your history is from Massachusetts. And so I started wondering and I even commented to her. I said, what are these fucking like doortodoor detectives? You know, shaking down and people who know me to you know, where do you go to school? Say, Mam man, let us know, we're going to fucking throw you over a bridge. Nowadays you can get all that information in a fucking keystroke. Yeah, Hey, ever googled yourself? Yes, but a long time ago, just to find out how many like famous people had my name. And I actually have an autograph picture I bought off Ebay one night while drunk, because there's a hockey player named Dave the Hammer Schultz Nice. So I bought the autograph and I keep it hang hanging up, and people walk in, they go hey, who's that? I go that's Dave Schiltz, and they go know your Dave shels. I go that's right, but he is too. The matter at hand here. What the fuck is going on? And I'm bringing this up because if anybody out there has any idea, like, obviously they're not going to fucking give me the job now. Right, it's been, you know, a few months. Right, it's not right, but can I see these motherfuckers for like wasting my time. Yeah, who, I don't know. Do I have legal options here? Can I bring them in front of like Judge Joe...

Brown? Get on TV, man. You know that's an exasperated side you just gave me, toby, because you don't know and I don't know. I yeah, I don't. I don't know. I'm it. That's a weird situation to be and it's either it should be a cut and dry, you know, like hey, you don't have the job, you do have the job. Yes, start next week. Huh? I mean, I understand the background check and all that stuff. I get it, but now this is like an abnormal amount of time to the point where I just think they're bs and me and blowing the smoke up my sweet tight Petuiti you over here. You know, they're probably like trying to check out your ancestrycom BS, and they're trying to find some reason to be like, Oh, you're great, great, great, great, great great grandfather was a pirate, and you know we just can't work with pirates. Well, my last name is Schultz. So they're like your great, great, great great great grandfather invented pretzels and I hate pretzels. So I'm just going to fucking lead you around by the fucking tip of your nose for the next three months like an asshole. Yep, YEP, they have some vendetta against pretzels and you're just the one to suffer for it. Y Am, I am, I'm that fucking schmuck. But if anybody out there has any clue or if this has happened to you, please contact the show. I want to know about it. Easy Way to do it. Follow us on our socials at selling out show or, say, mean email selling out show at gmailcom. I would appreciate some feedback on this, or just I mean, come on, I'm a man lost in the woods here. I'm basically naked, afraid, alone, wounded. Someone take my hand, pull me out of here. Let me know what the Hell's going on. I don't know what to do, but I have given up on the whole notion of getting this job, which is a bummer because it was a good company. WHO shall remain nameless until I get that fucking email that says you definitely did not get the job, then fuck them. I'm going to run them all over the fucking town, and you know disgrace their name, as it should be. You should call them once a month, even if you get a different job, even if it's like two or three years down the would call them once a month and be like so about that job and just just let him keep stringing you along and make it a game. Yeah, sure, I'm going to write and be like Hey, just let you know I'm up for retirement next month, so obviously interested. Give me the GIG, you know, use a little window that we can get that done in perfect totally days. Scared Ready. I'm sorry, Toby. Better luck next time. Let those painties trap. Well, maybe not. No, I'm saying all right, Dave. So I, yes, have been single for several months now, trying to get back out on the the old dating scene. Right, right, we've talked about this in the past. It's very thrilling. Yeah, now, I'm not. I'm not smooth at all. I don't have very much dating experience under my belt. I'm kind of a long term guy. When I find...

...someone I like, I kind of a stick with it, you know. Yeah, you nest, you're a nestor. Yeah, so I don't have a lot of dating experience. So I wanted to share with you one of my tender stories. I want to get your opinion on this because I I can see it from both sides. Yeah, and it's we never there was no meet up. This is all just through the tender APP, just messaging back and forth. Okay, you've come to the right guy. I'm absolutely no doubt I am the man when it comes to what you need to know about this. There was a chick. Yeah, I ended up matching with like, I swapped her. I'de on her, because that's how you you're like, Hey, I dig this girl, swap rat if you don't like them, you swap left. Uh Huh. I wasn't really that attracted to this girl, but in her I actually read the little BIOS or whatever. The little thing is, the little blurb about someone. Yeah, the personality profile. Yeah, so we listen to some of the same music, you know, whatever. Maybe I'd hang out with this person whatever. So I swipe ried. We ended up in matching, which is kind of rare for me to match with anyone. Usually no one hardly matches with me. Yeah, if you seen your face, that's completely understandable. Absolutely so. So she messages me. I'm like, all right, whatever. So we're messaging back and forth and, you know, doing the small talk like a you know, what do you do for a living? What do you do? So first off, she didn't have a car. She was thirty years old, like me. She didn't have a car. She lived with her parents, which, you know, I don't. I'm not judging anyone for their circumstances, like, oh no, when it to men, but men don't do that to women. You notice that? Yeah, well, and I well, I just I don't. I'm not judging anyone. But then she started like, I don't do any drugs because I would get fired from work if I her right, but I don't do any drugs. And she was like yeah, smoke pot all the time, and I was like, Oh okay, well, that's that's okay, that's that's your thing. Do it. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not bashing it. Yeah, if I feel like, if you can do drugs and still function in society, do them. Plus you're desperate, so it's perfect. Yeah, exactly right. So we get on the topic of Od do you got any pets? Okay, okay, yeah, and at the time, this is when I still had three cats, as like I got. I got three cats that live. I got three indoor cats, and she's like, Oh, cool, I've got three outdoor cats and I was like, oh, that's funny, and I was like, oh well, I also got three dogs outside. Now, these were my ex wives dogs. Okay, I just was keeping them for I don't have them anymore. She finally picked them up, but at the time where you go on, you guys without the dogs had the perfect Brady Bunch dynamic. Yeah, three, the three indoor cats and the three outdoor cats. Yes, we just needed a maid. Yeah, well, that that's easy enough to find. But continue, I'm sorry. So, anyways, she goes, Oh, I've got a couple of dogs, and she goes, wait, did you say your dogs are outside? And now I let these dogs in. But there was an issue with the xwive. She didn't like the dogs coming in, even though they were her dogs. I brought the dogs in all the time because I'm an animal lover. So, anyways, they're wild. I can't let them in for too long. They'll pee on everything, they'll chew up everything. They can't be trusted, right, but they would come in for a couple hours at a time. All right, but the you know, when I went to work, they stayed outside because they couldn't be trusted. So you get it, all right. So I hopefully the point of this story is this woman can't be trusted and that's why we're getting into it about the dogs. Correct. So this woman, yes, starts tripping on me, Oh, freaking out about my dogs being outside, starts giving me lectures on my dogs being outside,...

...and I had to ask the girl. I was like, didn't you say you have outdoor cats? And she goes yeah, but they're fine. Okay, this is really weird thing to be fucking upset about her, to like to break a matchup over. Well, that's what that's what my question is. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Like, is she right? Was I an asshole from keeping my dogs outside? I'm treading. I'm braid to pop up like from remember the movie The fugitive, when Tommy Jones he's like, I don't care a right tell you that because I don't like animals. Yeah, now, I've heard. I heard your stories about it, but we're like, I would date a girl like despite her religion or like. That's not a good even a thing for me. She could tell me she fucking, I don't know, worships anything, I don't care, okay, but if she had a pet, I'd be like who, slow down, just take it easy. So it's interesting for me to see this whole side of you know, other folks set reside on this mud ball floating around the sun called planet earth. That treating animals a certain way, which harmlessly, mind you. You let the animals in or out. Oh, they got, they got, they they would get treats all the time. They had a little pull out in the backyard when it was hard. How you spoil the fucking you know, the more you tell me, the less I like you. Okay, you're giving them fucking spot as outside. That's wonderful and shit, but I mean, you know, okay, my final verdict on this which she's a psychopath, she's a nut job. Okay, so I'm not you busy, yeah, through your phone in the fish tank, I I mean she and she kept like. I stopped. I was like, all right, I'm done messaging this one, and she continued to like try to put me down about my dogs and just like kept on and finally I had to delete her. I had to delete her whole thing off of off the the APP. So shoulder. Oh, delete her off the APP. Oh, you scared me there for a second. I thought you were out there. Yeah, act she was so concerned with those dogs that after yeah, totally, who scared? But no, I just I didn't know if that was like. That's is that a normal dating thing, like being that worked up over the others animals? Is that stuff I'm gonna have to worry about? Is that the only time that's ever happened? Yes, I've never had another animal incident. Okay, and how many matches have you had on tender total? Do you think? Rough? Oh, total, maybe like ten? All right. Well, I was kind of hoping that number was a little bit greater, so we can put her in the smaller percentile. But yeah, I think overall I wouldn't swept that. You know, he going forward. Well, I can do one another story, another this one's this one's more embarrassing for me than anything. That sounds right up my alley. The dog thing. I you know again, I wasn't your guy per se, but this one, if it's embarrassing for you, I'm going to eat that up, so hit me with it. Okay. So I'm doing the whole like, you know, up at two in the morning, swapping and everything. I find this girl. She's gorgeous. I think she is awesome. Stand Oh yeah, so I swipe r not thinking I had any chance in the world to match with this girl, and it happened. I matched with this girl and I was so excited and we chit chatted a little bit at two am and no, probably the next day. But anyways, so we're going back and forth and she she tells me what her instagram is and stuff. So I follow her on Instagram and I started I started really thinking like, you know, she's really attractive, but where have I seen her before? She have one of those faces. I thought she had one of those faces. So I just I kept thinking like man,...

...this girl, I've seen her before. So, anyways, long story short, with her I I wasn't as interesting, I guess, and she just stopped talking to me completely and I was like, okay, that's fine, but I, you know, I still had it on instagram and I kept seeing pictures that she is posting and I was like God, this girl, she looks so familiar. She's driving you nuts, uh. And Yeah, it starts driving me nuts and I finally I'm like, where have I seen this girl? So it hit me. I have seen this girl and a porno. Wow, yes, oh, yes, she's not a porn star per se, but she's been in porn that you can find on adult websites. I'm not going to advertise them for you, but okay, but amateur stuff. Then it was her, I think. So okay, I mean it, yeah, should yeah, all right, right, enough said, enough said. Go on. But but then I started thinking, I know I've seen this girl in a porn so what? I spent like two hours searching through porn trying to find this girl. I think you spent five minutes searching and the other, you know, hour, fifty five minutes doing something else. No, no, I spent like two hours looking for this girl. Hundreds and hunt I don't know if you know this, but there's hundreds of pages of porn on some of those video sides and somehow, some way, I okay, obviously you're going to say somehow, some way, I found her. I did. Okay, Great, I'm glad, and share that with me later to by the way. But Anyway, the thing is is, how do you do this? You look it up by name, because they never use their real name. No, no, and that's the thing she wokay, what's I'm not going to Saay her name, but her I guess her real name. It seems more like it would be a porn star named than what her stage name was. Okay, now you're not going to say any name, not even her stage name. No, I don't want to do that because you know it's not it's not my place to put that out there. Make one up. Let's just come up with one. Off over head was the first one. Think of something that could be a hooker stripper name Cherry Porcelain Patty. That's the worst one ever. That sounds like a old woman that collects dolls. Well, Porcelain Patti's the one I want to watch now, Oh, you nasty motherfuck. So, yes, I I spent hours and then I wasn't even convinced, even though I could see like her instagram and the video. I was trying to lie matchup tattoos, like I was going through instagram being like, I don't see this tattoo, I don't see this tattoo. I obsessed over it. Now, this is really early on in my divorce, so it probably was a good thing that I was keeping my mind off of things. So sure, you call me a CREEPO, it was forensic, your favorite fanatic. Yes, so it kept my mind off of the divorce for a couple hours, and that's that's the moral of the story I want to take from it, anyways. But yes, your boy here almost, almost talked to a porn car. Well, I'll slow down there, MR fucking had to put ice in your hand for three weeks afterwards. Stop the swelling. Where do you say? Almost? She just fucking completely stopped talking to you after one that's that's the closest I've ever been to talking to a porn star. Really, I who boy used to date a stripper. She was nuts, nuts, I tell you. So, you know what, you might be better off. I mean, okay, Cup, more questions real quick before we stop discussing your lust for the amateur porn star Worslin Patty. But was she in multiple videos or just one? I don't know, you're just made the weirdest noise. That was worth because I was I'm not sure, because, like I could...

...find clips, but I think it was the same. Okay, could it came? Well, we you're looking up tattoos. You weren't like looking at Vass or or patterns on the carpet. Well, I don't. That's why I think there's only I think there's one out there. Huh. Yeah, I think there's one video of her out there, but it is a hundred percent her and off air. I'll tell you all about it. Are you better? You Better? Is fucking Christmas time, I guess, cold and lowly at night. Tell you, I need to spend some time with this. I don't even know what to call her now. I don't Daddy, I don't want to say Porcelain Patty. Seems made me do it. Now I'm thinking about silver cotton candy where. She's just fucking gross and wrong and so many levels. So let's any more of this story do you want to tell us about besides the fact that you stalked and amateur porn star in the we hours of the night? When you put it that way, it sounds terrible. I was doing I probably sounds better than what you just described. I mean the way you talked about it is creepier than me putting into one quick, you know, digestible sound bite or, you know, marketable way of putting things, but remember I was going through a divorce. It was tough times and it kept my mind busy. Excuse, says. Okay, I'm a little bit of a creep for your behavior. There's no excuse for that. Come on, every fucking grown man does that kind of Shit. There's nothing wrong with you, toby. I judge you more for a fucking putting your dogs in a pool then searching for a girl on pornhub. Well, I just gave out the freelink. Hey, everybody uses porn. I'm come on, well, grown ups here, and if you're not a growing up you should have stopped listening nearly an hour ago, right, telling your parents, young man. Oh Bad, yeah, yeah, so that's that's my porn. All right. Well, that's sorry, that's fair. You know, that's gray, because that seguys perfect, absolutely wonderfully. Into a little update. We got a call from nate, who is not an amateur porn star, but he could be. He could have been, it could have been a contender, and I've alluded to on the last couple shows that he has been in the hospital and he wants to tell us a little bit about what's going on with him right now. So, without any further ado. Here is my pal Nke Gore Zinsky. Hey, everybody, this is me. I found myself in some interesting situation lately, so I am just calling into give you as a heads up. I plan on being back in action as soon as possible, but it may be a while. I've had some tricky health issues and I'm currently in a rehabilitation facility getting antibiotics through some nasty infections going on in my spine. Is a whole story that I'm sure we'll get to once I'm back from the show and things are somewhat back to normal, or as normal as they can do with Dave and I. So anyway, just wanted to give a heads up to everyone and I'm doing okay. Meant a lot of pain, but again, we'll get to all that when I can give you some real details. I just wanted to say hello and let everyone know I'm not dead or abandoning you. Just needed some some healing time, and meant a lot of pain, so which we like guys. Anyway, I will feel again one'm back in action and Dave, thanks for holding them the forth you're the best and I, like they should give you some words of hope. And inspiration, but basically keep doing it, don't die. I'll be back when I can. Thanks for hold them forth again. Anyway, see you later. Now. He sounds a little drug...

...there, which is to be expected. He is in a Rehab facility trying to get himself all fixed up. He had a really bad infection and everything else and he's going to be in there for quite a while over Christmas and a little bit longer. But I'm sure he'll talk about this plenty when he returns. But with speaking to him on the phone, his neighbor, because you know, in these facilities you don't get to pick and if you're not rich, you don't have your own private room, is a schizophrenic who talks out loud incessantly throughout the course of the day. So again, I'm sure when nate comes back it will base a whole fucking hour about this fucking Weirdo that he has to share the room with. Because, trust you, me talking to him on the phone, it's weird. It's fucking weird. So you know I'm like this poor bastard. I'ven't told Nate provoke him, make him like angry or something. So we start screaming and they got a fucking put him into like a mental ward or something instead. So, yeah, I suck. This is Christmas. No, my fucking antaggon eye someone who's hopefully ail poke the bear. Yeah, exactly, it's. Poor bastard is fucking mentally ill. So you get the room all of yourself. But anyway, you know, Tobester, I love having you here. You're really great guy and I couldn't pick a better fill in cohost for nate's absence. But I do miss nate. He's my pal, he's my buddy. I miss here in nate on the show too, so you're not alone. Okay, great, wonderful. So, nate, thank you for the call. Get better. I almost said pal again, which I feel like I say to you often, which is kind of like an old fogy thing to do to hey, they're pal. Hey there, buster, buster Brown. But yeah, we do wish the best for nate and hopefully everybody out there. You've been sending those good vibes I've been desperately begging for, along with itune reviews. Now, before we let you go, I also want to wish everybody out there a merry Christmas, and I've kind of touched on the fact that I lost someone very close to me recently, right before Thanksgiving, to cancer, which was my mom. Now someone brought up to me the other day who knows me, and said, Dave, why didn't you post more about that on social media? You know, that's what people do now and they're grieving when they're sad, and I kind of have a dual response to that, one being I don't like sharing a lot of my private details on social media. I use it to promote. I like to talk about the show, I like to talk about goofy things. I mean on our instagram I post kids in the hall stuff nearly every day. But I don't talk about my personal life. It's just, you know, that's what this show is for, right. If you want to know about me, you can listen to the show. Please do. I invite you to. That's why I make it. The other thing is I listen. If a celebrity, right and you're an animal lover, if they have a pet mouse and that pet mouse keels over one day and dies, everybody will smash that retweet, smash at like button and comment, oh my sympathies for you, Oh my God, you lost a mouse. In my situation. My mom was a single mother who work very hard for many, many years to take care of too rotten kids who didn't really appreciate what she was doing at the time. and to me that's the kind of human being we should be celebrating in life, not, Yep, these celebrities and athletes. I am as susceptible to that as anybody else. I'm not really big on a hero worship, but I mean I like sports, I like movies. If I saw, you know, actor x in a airport, I go oh wow, look at him. But you know what I mean, we really as society need to get our priority straight. So it's not that I don't share it, because nobody...

...would care. It's just I don't share that because I don't care if people do care. This is my life, it was my my mom. I miss her dearly and I know I'm rambling on here and I apologize. I will take more time at a litter day to talk about this in depth because my mother deserves that and the like that she lived. But I guess the whole point of the story is, Hey, motherfucker, is Christmas, hug somebody. You see that person next to you, you love them. Give him a hug. Don't forget to tell him that, because all that stuff really matters. And in the end, I mean, when else you got except for the people that you love? Or, if you are toby here, a hairy pussy in your lap. Hey, you had in the show that one, buddy. But I want to thank each and every one of you for tuning in yet again. Toby, thanks a bunch. I love talking you, my friend, and you'll be sticking around for a little bit and I appreciate you, you know, taking those reins until nate returns. Hey, if I can make myself look like an idiot for you and help out the show, I don't mind one bit. That's why I love you. That's why I love you. See, I'm not going to I'm not going to waste this moment. I love you, man. I love the fact that you well, I'm Barre ass you see, man, yeah, my show, I love it, I love it, but anyway, I am Dave. That is toby filling in for nate, and this has been merry Christmas. People selling out infirmary media. You always dreamed about owning your first house or driving that special car or opening that business unfortunately, you also had nightmares. Introducing the May only my good dreams come true. Policy from American family insurance insured. Carefully, dream fearlessly, get a quote, find an agent, visit MFAMCOM, American family mutual insurance COMPANYESI and it's operating company, six thousand American Parkway, Madison, Wisconsin. Four bills, three bills, two bills, one. At first Commonwealth Bank, we make it simple to consolidate your bills into one easy payment with a home equity line of credit at a special one point nine percent Apr. Find out more in person or at FC Bankingcom. One point nine percent introductory APR for six months. That Adju to a variable rate based in Wall Street Journal primary plus or minus a margin, with a minimumory to four point four nine percent and a maximum ry of eighteen percent. Offer subject to change or withdrawal at any time. Called one hundred seven one one two hundred sixty five. Details about credit costs in terms equal housing lender. Member of the SE.

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