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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 41 · 1 year ago

Ep.#41 Swamp Thing Soda Pop

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

On this bayou bustin', soda sippin' episode of Selling Out we discuss must-do dating tips (2:03), give a muck encrusted movie review of The Return of Swamp Thing from 1989 (10:44), and taste test a Texas tradition, Big Red soda (30:36). Come for the good chats and stick around for the carbonated chuckles. If that makes any sense. Enjoy!


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How to sow up with Coca Cola, energy,get', tired and you're thinking of cancelling on your friends? Don't do itevery time you cance on a friend, a Unicorn loses its horn and becomes aregular horse. Do you really want that on your constence instead grab an icecol can of Coca Cola, energy with delicious coke taste and reinvigoratingenergies. Keep the UNICORNS alive sow up every day with Coca Cola, energyenergy. You want taste, you love! formarymediayou were now ti the sellingOL o. What it does is breaches atow, a brainchemically and O gage. Your happiest memory, chemically an block ARD thatemotion feazed it chemically, and then it had eer happy Happyhllo, hello,hello, Ad Rel, im o the selling out sow. I am one of your Hois, David Shelsonand normally by my side, my partner and crime is Nekrzenski, but he is stillabsent from class. If you will, he is taken ill and he will be gone for theforeseeable future. No last time out, I asked you to send some good vibes hisway. Hopefully he did so, but guess what they're not enough, send more poorguy's laid up in the hospital and hopefully he ill return sooner thorlater, but in the meanwhile we are joined by my good Pa Toby Schofield,who was here last episode as well. So he's got some really big shoes to fillman. This is your second episode of cohosting duties: Toby. How are yo I' I'm doing pretty good ty good,that's the little Twang in there buddy yeah little little Texan, Twang, PeriPurty, you sure you're Goin to hurdy mouth what' Yoa. How are you? Oh I'm doing good, I'm doing great.What did you do today? Let's bore everybody half to Dept. to start theshow ell man just you know, work okay enough about that. Yeah hang off nomore, but I do want to let the listeners know something very specialabout you, something. That's that's unique, especially compared to me. I'mdomesticated dad hear me roar, but I've got a ball in chain you, however, myfriend are recently single. I I am Rei o yeah recently thevorse cealing is, is fresh man?Don't talk about this shit? Moyantrish it you are a free agent man you got toenjoy, get to go out there and sew them wild oats right. Have you been doingthat already? You know I've been out of the dating game for like seven years,so I don't really know what I'm doing anymore and and women are tricky sureare what about APS. Have you been hopping on any APPS KINDOF swiping thisway or that way doing that kind of stuff? Or what's your Oland of attackhere or is there no plan of attack? Well, you know I tried some of the APPSand UH. I still don't even know what to say on on those when there's a match.So it's it's one of those awkward. I try to fumble my way through and thenafter two or three messages. The ladies don't message Me Back: Oh Toby,Scofield, the only human being who can fuck up the word? Hello? That's right!It's! Oh! It's! It's pretty pathetic and I know it as soon as I start typing,I'm like! Oh! No. What am I doing? Can you give me an example of what you'rewriting it turns? These, ladies off so...

...fast, Oh, I don't know I don'twant toTigr that with us today. I think it just starts with hello 'cause, I'm notI'm not like hey wanna hook up hey, send me new. I'm not doing anythingcrazy like that. I'm trying to be a respectful gentleman and well there'syour problem. That's th! Noaarigt it there you're supposed to with the oneliners and all that stuff right off the bat right see. I don't have any onliners and the one one one liner that I I like. I don't think it'll h it'll go over so well. Can you share itwith me? It's? U Are you Medusa, because you make merock hard? Oh God, definitely don't ever use, please Jesus!No Good Noright! That's my favorite! That is my favorite! THAT'S CLEVER!Funny! I don't know where you pick that up from, but that's definitely not onethat you would use as an ice breaker. No! No! Unless you're like. Oh you likeGreek mythology, I love that movie clash on the Titans Yeah Hanny Dropperright there rih, listen, toby. All your problems are about to be solved. Thanksto your a good old buddy dave over here, because I mentioned you know- I I'vebeen tied down for a long time now, myself, you know, but back in the daywho baby I couldn't keep that Fuckin hot tail off of me. If you know what Imean and in that whole process, I learned a couple tips, two of which Ireally want to share with you today, and I think it will help you besuccessful, going forward, Noi, okay, so tip number one. Let's cut right tothe chase here, a never date. A girl go on a date with a girl who owns a snakeo see I'm completely good with that 'cause, I'm terrified of Snak and UH yeah. But but what is the reasoning Ineed? Is there a reason behind? Okay? Well, first off, I know this kind ofcontradicts your whole M. Meduca thing you just threw out there either thoghyeah. No, I'm terrified! I Nam Woo like well Yit. Make me rock hard and snakesmade me scream like a little girl but sh exactly, but if a girl has a snake,there's going to be some serious, daddy issues that play here, some really deeprooted stuff that you don't want to touch with a ten foot pole, if you knowwhat I mean this snake is a symbol of my independence from Dandy. No, nothank you plus, unless she's a zookeeper, the only kind of people thatown these exotic animals watl my mind immediately goes to Walmart meams. Youknow what I mean: hiked up span, decks Moose, knuckles, open toad, funglefeetkind of folk. No thank you and I suppose, aboveeverything else, despite how sexy she may in fact be she's, probably got thatsnake stank. You know just that. We Bet Stinky. I pass each and every time it'sGospel, yeah do snake stink. I don't know I try to stay far away from snakes.Me Too trust you me, but I I there's a little bit of a back story here and Ithink, if I' brought it up on the show before, but me and Na knew a guy onetime with snakes and exotic animals, and I he even had fucking Batswwo isright and he was the creepiest mother fucker like ever, but knowing thatthere was women that were into that and attracted to him and his house didfucking smell like a fucking zoo, I found that really weird plus they alltend to be goth girls. You know what I mean: whereot you're thing: Do you likethe Goth chicks? Is that your styl? I'm not I'm not real picky Ra? Currently, no! No! No, I mean no, I not I'm notagainst the Goth Solad all all right. Well, but that's necessarily likelooking for goth girls. You know yeah well. The thing is too is like whatwould possess the girl to even own the snake to begin with t compared to a cator dog or bird or something you know what? What is that in her mind? Itmakes her think having a snake is Uber Cool. He a got a question...

...right, so never ever ever date, a girlwith a snake. Okay, I'm on board with that one. So far tip number two. Whenyou are on the date, hopefully with a girl that does not own an exotic animalUr, I never start drinking until your date arrives. Oh wh! What? What do you mean? Oh, thisis tough. FORAS is hard. Yet No! No! No! I agree, okay, agreeand per perthenorm. I have A. I have a back story for this one as well. Isthat one time I met a girl on a website way out of my league, and I mean I I'ma prime piecer of meat. Everybody knows as a lie, but anyway, my point beingI'm a little intimidated by meeting her. You know I'm, like I don't know we'resupposed to meet at a bar, so I showed up about forty five minutes early put a few back by the time she gotthere. I wasn't the most coherent human being on the face of the earth, so Itotally blew my chance with this girl and I mean she was o. You know what I mean, but after the fact I checked her out onfacebook or some social media site or something and she had a boyfriend, notnot at the time but later, and that mother fucker was my clothe hewould.Just like me, I sand o say my toppl Ganger. I couldn't believe it at thatmoment. I knew damn you alcohol. I blew it. I blew mybig chance yeah see and I could see me needing needing something to loosen meup. 'cause H, I get really really nervous in dating situations. Oh yeahyeah, really that happens to you. You turn red. You Start Giggling or SAR.Well, we already know you say Weird Shit, but I mean beyond all that yeahlike yeah, I get real red, real, easy and uhreally really h shy. Okay, all right well, which is weird because I'm apodcaster and that's what I do is talk a lot an I hide behind the Vale of theInternet. T! That's true: that's very true. People aren't like directlylooking me in the eyes and judging me, like they just judge me later well, alot of people say you know if you're speaking in front of a crowd. Imaginethem naked to make. You feel more comfortable. Think of your date is amicrophone hey. There you go see, that's that's probably good advice.Actually, I'm probably the best tip I've, given you compared to the othertwo, where I kind of stumbled and fumbled my way through m right. No, sofar excellent advice, I'm taking it all good. I'm glad! I'm glad you no bookeverything. You wrote it all down. Yes, of course, well speaking of red, I'mglad to know that you turn you know. Bright beat red like a cherry or tomatoor whatever, because later in thes show, I will be trying a Texas staple, ataste of Texas, if you will a soda by the name of Big Red Plus we're going totalk about a movie that I don't know if I love perse, but we want to discuss alittle bit because I am a huge fan of swamp thing. We will discuss the returnof swamp thing from nineteen. Eighty nine, you coall that tobster. Oh I'mway cool with it. Let's goand ready for a kinda pseudo, maybe metromoverouright.Everybody has promised we' here to discuss the return of swamp thing basedon the comic book character created by Len, Wene and Berneye Rigtson innineteen. Seventy one. This flick was released on May twelth, an nine Hutedenand eighty nine by light year, entertainment with a running time ofeighty eight minutes. It was directed by directive, video, King, Jim Wanowski,the movie stare, Heather, locklier, Lewis, Gordan Dick Durick and SarahDouglas the box office for this one,...

...not so good. It only raked in twohundred N, seventy four thousand and nine hundred and twenty eight bucks,and it was slammed by just about every critic out there, except most notablyRoger Ebert, who actually gave the film a thumbs up on the CISCO. An ebrertshow the movie is a sequel of sorts o. The nineteen eighty two West craveindirected swamp thing, flick that also featured Jordan s Antonarcane andvicteric as swampy. But while that film was intended as a serious take on swampthing, the sequel can only be considered as camp. So what's it aboutten years after her mother's mysterious death, Abigail Arcane play by lochweertracks down her evil stepfather, Dr Anton Arcane, for answers after hisdeath in the first film Arcane, had been resurrected and is conducting Jens,placing experiments with his. If you don't mind me saying so, smoking hotassistant, dtor Lanazerel, played by Sarah Douglas the reason for thisresearch to reverse his aging process. Now Arcane Discovers Abbey has the samegenetic code as her mother, which is the key to his research. So how toeswape fitting well, he was also presumed dead by Arcane. After thefirst film and when we start this, one he's busy battling one of the monstroustests subjects out in the bog you see, Swapi was once Doctor Alec Holland, ascientist working on a biorestorative formula until the evil arcade and hislackeys interfere which results in Hollan's transformation into everyone'sfavorite Muck, encrusted, mockery of a man. So the reasons that I wanted totalk about this movie today was toby is a huge monster fan. I am amassive swamp thing fan and toby has never seen this film and, as luck wouldhave it- and I had recently picked up a copy- a remastered copy of the returnof swampthing, the Blue Ray from NBD rewine collection, which is a prettynice little package, tere's, not a whole ton of bonus materials on here,but it does have some good interviews, promotional t, V, Clipps and some ofyou may remember the Green Peace Public Service announcements that featuredswamping from the late eighties, so tobster first time viewing the film.What did you think the quality on this movie? I think that's. It almost feelslike that's why they went for a camp kind of style on this on this movie, sothey could get away with lower budget kind of things you think so I don'tknow I mean it just feels like h for being goofy and silly. Then you know ifit's. If it doesn't look riht, it's just part of it. Oh okay, so they sorry,we didn't have the fucking money yeah. We don't have the money to make a goodhorror movie, so we're going to try to make some laugh or get some laughs outof you for it I mean I was thinking. The writers, which happened to be NiilCutebert and grant Morris, might have been enjoying their far share of thedevil's lettuce. Little Wacky Tobacki, because in in his film, is loaded withone liners little Zani zips and what have you that are delivered very poorlymind, you, crazy, kids and there's even a parrot, yeah, there's a lot of stuff like that.That doesn't quite make sense. Um, I don't know, there's a there's a lotof really weird stuff in this movie. There is a lot of Zani stuff and whenthe movie begins Y, U you get a fight, see right off the back. SWAO YEAH! Iyou like, oh o. Here we go baby. This is it because a lot of times you don'tlike it or I'm saying you as if I this is your thought, but this is my thought:andthough, I don't like it when they they take forever to cut to the chase.No, you get you get some action right away to be like okay, a minute I' inute,let's go yeah, but the disappointing thing after that, it's just a coolcover montage for the title credits yeah from the actual swampand comicbooks, which were way way better than...

...what was put forth in his filp. So yeahsee that you're like Ho. This is really cool. It's going to pay omage to thesource material. Here we go. We had the fight scene, no, they get heather, lockliers,abrcane, who's, very erratic, very cooky. She likes to talk to plansher coworker s completely ignores her while eating a can of soup minds you,which is condensed soup, which I find odd. So it's like a crazy personthinking. Another crazy person is in fact crazy. Yeah, no t the whole firstpart of the movie when she's talking to the plants and stuff it's it's really convenient for you know,yeah the love interest that it happens eventually right. She liey sapathetic toward s a plantperson, because you know even later on in the film when she first meets swampthing. It's like oh hi. How are you like she's meeting? I don't know heraccountat yeah she's, not terrified at all, like whatsoever, even the kids that see uswon't be at first they're terrified until he gives them the thumbs up, OhGod, the gift that keeps on gifting right, isn'that, one of the best onesof all time. If anything came out of this movie, I know some people say Jiff,but fuck you I'm saying gift that gift will last forever. Yes, I mentioned one liners or Zingersearlyeron there ware a few of Thom in here. That definitely H. Take a lot of a lot of thought to write,there's a moment where, in the inch row, one of the guys he's uh going throughthe swamp, with a machine gun and they're trying to hunt down moonshinersand when they see a monster, he immediately yells out this guy's coldlaw later on a mercenary yells. It is one thing, I'm Gong to turn him intoGuakamoli. We get, I'm surprised, no one calledtheir weapon, a salad shooter. You know what I mean right. This was definitelyreally pisspor writing combined with bad acting, but I will say this: onecharacter in particular stood out more than the rest, and that was the leadlackey who had a terrible name, but he went by the name of gun, yeah and goodgone. But again he cou have the extra end to give it more emphasis and Oom, and this is played by an Actur by thename of Joe Sagal now Josegal. I did a little research on him for this episodeand he really didn't amount to a whole lot in the acting world. But boy did heplay henchman perfectly right C, CAn'tpe, henchman, yea, that I wasgoing to say you know when you say can't be I sometimes I get thatconfused wh, I'm like should call it schlock or can't be, but then we starttalking about th the humor that's forced on. You is definitely camp. Itfeels like the Adam Wes Batman. You know T it's just got that like almostwhere they want to look at the camera after they say something. Goofy kind, Ofeel kind, O break down that fourth wall. I made it funny yeah they're,like are you laughing? Okay, let's go back to the scene year, the Bam Za POW,because there was a lot of fighting in this movie swampthing like wielded alot of pipes too, which I thought was weird yeah. You know they never really,unlike those comics that they showed in the beginning, they never reallyunrapped. His true potential andother were limits as far as you know, the whole again back with thebudget and how much you know they can add into the film other than rubberysuits and what have you so they basically just had to have him punch itright yeah, you know. Well, they I mean they g. They give Hem his moment wherehe turns into like a a swampy goo and goes into the h thedrainage system. You know it's funny. You brought that up, because when therewere those few moments that did tie n to the comics in some way mind you theyweren't done well, but as a diehard...

...swam thing fan even seeing this movie aGo, Oh yeah that thays from this issue, or that- or he did this later on- inthat you know what I mean you can still associate it Righ, of course, the way that it wasdone in the comics was fucking way, cooler still you're like Hay. There wego there, there's something more more like what I enjoy on screen. I'll also,have you know, did you ever see the television series? No! No! I didn't waybetter t than this movie really Oh yeah, because it's in anthology series, so,while some things thike characters and stuff carry onto the next episodes, youdon't need to watch the one before to really understand. What's going on,okay, yeah yeah, so I definitely recommend, even though why ded e getyour opinions on this. Did you enjoy it um? Yes, I enjoyed it for what it was did I think it was a a spot on accuratesone thing. No, I particularly love the two little boys. They are hilariousbecause of how bad they are. It's funny you say that 'cause kids ruineverything and movie Om. Maybe everything this movie, the the plot isridiculous. She walks into her little her her foral shop and she's talking to herself aboutdating bad guys, and then she goes and looks for her Stepdad. He just sohappens to be doing these experiments and needs her DNA. Well, th t you knowit's very convenient. It's like O, O good meniou. The daughter has the sameD N, a sequence as a mother who knew yeah who fucking new. You know which,if the thing is he knew about this daughter this whole time and if heneeded the DN a. Why didn't he seek her out? That seems like the more logicalstep to go into this movie. Instead of she walks in and she's talking toherself and she's, like o I'v gotta, go find my stepbed yeah. Well, the thingis, the logic is lost. Is completely lost, Oh yeah thing that we require nowmore than ever. You know, I think, a lot of times when you see theseeighties movies. Even even earlier, like the seventysuperman movies, you can kind of suspend reality as a viewer, it's going Oh wow, it's socool to see a super hero on screen. It doesn't matter how o see her, how he'sportrayed it's just cool to? Have it now we're spoiled rotten yeah? No and there's a lot more thought that goesinto our superharl movies now but like y. Ah, you think, if you think of likehorror movies, like the Friday, the thirteenth franchise, none of it goes together at all. It'sjust like all right we're doing another Friday or thirteenth. You know, youknow who it is: It's Jason, Oh, he was dead and the last one Idon't know h, he's alive again, Hsazombi, you know like there's. Theydidn't, I feel like they didn't, give much thought into the sequels and stufflike they used to now they're all about franchises. And how can we keep thisgoing? Look at saw you know right? They they do, try to interconnect the momentand try their hardest, not to have big uh plot holes and stuff, but yeah this movie had a lot of plot holes ybutit was. It was a good time like this is something that I would have sat downwith the kids and been like. Let's watch some swamp thing, you know, and Ithink they would have gotten a kick out of it. Huhi can't show it to my kid yetbecause there's a a couple of scenes that I think are a little explicit andmy kid's only seven, so I'm not ready for him to there's a seeme with somehustler and playboy magazines in it. Oh See, that's bet see ye H. I know back in the day, like think of like theGoonis and and some of the other shows kids show well. on'toget me wrong. HopeS. I I was definitely introduced to things I should not haveseen at an early age, but that's why I'm not playing that game this timearound. You know what I mean. I know...

...something is a little bit iffy ncontent, I'm like I'm just going to skip it. You know yeah! No, Iunderstand I understand totally. I just I felt like that was a funny scene andit's it's one of those that I feel like could still kinda get brushed over likewhat were they doing. Looking at magazines, yeah, that's what they weredoing. Look at at magazine E, it was's good housekeepingw, we'll leave it atthat. You know they erelooking at something. They were afraid of gettingcaught and everything else there's a love making scene. I put that nicely love making going onthere. It's like hey eat my tuber yeah, wo, trink balls. Unless you know makeshit happen, did he drug her yeah yeah and that's exactly how it happens inthe comic books as well, so there's anything loyal to the source material. It's is howthey they get down and funky. If you know what I mean right, yeah I was like: Did she just tripballs and yeah she did.She was hallucinating, thought he was a hunk and had herself a a blt. You know som a good time, but again, that's oneof the few things that actually as like, oh well, that that's how it gets doneand the COM books. So that's cool. Right and honestly, I think my problemwith the movie more than anything is. I can always put it in his place againwith a time frame on which it came out, look at the budget and go they dn'thave a lot of money. They couldn't do this, you know, so I don't mind the monster effects and the suits andall that stuff that doesn't bother me righ. My issue is with the script,because it's a comic book script, not a great one, and when you ride a comicbook you're the voice, you don't need actors so like translating a Pisspourscript into a filmness acted poorly. Well, then you get daytime soap,quality performances in that's where we're at Ye, which sucks because, likeantenarcane great villain in the comics in the movie, he's predictable, he'sboring, he's stupid. He went that out. You know nothingmakes fucking sense for this fucking Gu. No, no it it's! He is a really boringvillain. I mean he doesn't really do anything. That's like Super Nasty andthe whole time he's bossing people round and the whole time I was like.Why are they just listening to him like he's not threatening at all, or he canplay the organ he's going to be doing in between periods at the hockey game?He was pretty good at the organ and t his assistant there, who I said wassmoking hot. I will stand by that. She was actually in Superman too back inNineteen D. Eighty okay yeah. She played Ah Ursa as a matter of fact, oneof he zad's minions so back in the early eighties or that whole decade ofthe Eighties Sarah Douglas was Wawza. She was I well I mean maybe Hei'm older.I don't know because I didn't really realize it at the time. But now, I'myou know in my forties my oo, hatchy Machy, hello, SAA Douglas She's, not bad she's,not bad. What does she look like now, though? No no Don Wan don't want N. Idon't want to ruin your time. Capsule! No, no can do and then like had alocklier right. Some guys were always like I min to blondes and she's aperfect blond. Never did it for me still don't she didn't look so bad inthis movie. To me she does happen to grow a at one point in the film alittle flower out of her foot, which KINDOF led me to wonder: 'cause,I'm a creep, I'm like e those her real feet or is that, like a stunt doublethose stun feet what's going on there? Well, you know, I don't think it was as weird of timesas it is in twsenty nineteen. So I bet that's just her feet and she wasn'tselfconscious about some crepos yeah, but nol commercials and stuff andmovies. I I'm the weird guy that pays attention to the shit like sometimespeople's fingernail, Polish, don't match and stuff, and I go poor, editing,you're fired, but they don't. They just...

...use someone else to fill it in becausewhatever th the actors like fuck, this a'm, going to my trailer, bring itbring in the stunt feet, bring in the Double Double Philangiz put hem overhere. You know what I mean right Y. I wonder if I could write her a letterwithout getting arrested for being a stockhey Um back in the eighties. Werethose your feet and return. Tith swamter and I compare ou nine teen andeighty nine feet to the feet you have now in two thousand and nineteen. I Ican hear that the risen door just slamming behind safucwird olmanwhile. This may havebeen the first superhero film, the feature of post credit scene unlessyou're a superswampy fan or a bee movie of Fishiin Ato. This isn't quite theblast. You' expect. There are multiple reasons why it ended up being aflock,so you may just want to skip this one unless you can find it on the cheep.Well, it's Nice to have the movie reissued on a Blue Ray, no matter whichway you cut it still a bomb. Swam thing. You know I love Yo, but your best betfor finding some seriously good swamp thing stories will be found in backissue comic book binstime to get our butts up on out of the by you and givesome big ups to the sponsors of the selling out show plus hey Christmas isright around the corner and just like the jolly fat guy in the red suit. I'mhere to give you some coupon codes on some great gifts and stocking stuffers.These companies put out high quality products that I'm fond of and fuel thepodcast that I present to you today. First Up, we have Northland Vapor, aone stop shop for all of your vaping supplies. Their HEA UICES are dyketonedand artificial sweetener, free, allowing for a rich flavorful van. Irecommend Blue Rabs, which I'm actually enjoying right now and Anorthlandquailty doesn't need to be cost and Tay still shift. All fifty states visitthem at Northland, vapor, dotcom and use the code selling out nineteen fornineteen percent off your order. Next up, we have spunk loob spok is an awardwinning non staining Luberkin indoors by a bevyo professionals in the adultfilm industry, but why let them have all the fun you can spice up your sexlife today, atd spunk, Loub docom last, but not leaves big thanks to Alpine Hem,the CBD Revolution has arrived and as no better place to stock up on pureorganic CBD products than Alpinehap dcom. They carry everything you wouldpossibly need from gummys capsules, tinctures ecsaving gut pet products,Alpine hapnesor go to shop for everything, CB D, which, let me tell Yoworks for me and you can save nineteen percent off the checkout by using codesselling out nineteen and remember when you shop with our partners you'resupporting the show allright tobster. You know I lovetalking about Texas. We seem to do this now on a regular basis. You know I'm aresident here unwillingly I was drag, kicking and screaming, but hell here Iam, and with that I want to try some Texas things. I some items unique tothe lone star state. Now one thing that's always kind of perplexe me whenI go into a convenience store. What have Yo is I see this soda pop calledBig Red I'v, never tried it yeah, I'm not I'm not. I mean I know I'm an Texan,but I not a big Red Fan at all. Okay, but let's clarify this: You are not abig Red Fan, but big red was created in Texas is very popular in the southernregion of the United States. You just happen to be. You know that onecontrarian yeah, I I'm the one that's...

...unloyal to Texas. I guess, but I lovewaterburger if that counts, for anything what a Burger I've had it.That was one of Thi one of the first things I did when I got here becauseevery fuck in Texan you meet it's like you've got to have wanteburger. Then Ihave it's okay, you know, and I love what if I, what a burger. I don'tunderstand that whole thing like Oh, when you come through, I've been toconcerts and stuff and band people on stage ill be like yeah. I just got toTexas. We just had our first waterburger an everyone cheers and I'mlike it's a burger joint like I don't I don't get it it's. Okay, I'll put itthat way. It's okay and in many ways I'm thankful to what AE Burger forpopping my Texassize Cherry. You Know Kinda giving me my initiationor Hanh Yeah athat's, that's a real easy, Texaninitiation. Sure just go go hit up a waterburger and you're like all right.I've been to Texas, but now this big red business, okay, okay, let's justget this out there, you you're not endorsing this you're, not making me dothis noe. This is a o eligient, worse t you you're, my friend, okay and youhate this shit. Yeah have Ou. Did you know there's a big blue? Also, no, Idid not but UM. I let's see all this goes. First before I get in a big blue now, um I dohave to know at I'm also a Soda Snob, I'm very particular about the brands ofSoda that I drink and my favorite brand does happen to have humble origins inTexas as well. That would be Dr Pepper. I'm a huge doctor, pepper fan. I likeit very very much and Um. I don't know what do you say? I crackthis bitch open and see how she tastes go for it, whereas Popa Seal Gaze Open here I go hm, the suspense is Kindi. I know right.This is the most boring Manof Radi holike. I really interested to see likehow you feel like do you feel like a changed man now I've taken three sips.Okay, I don't like to to guzzle anything. That's got carbonation, whichjust does this is in fact Tas. I mentione earlier Isoda Um. I don't know what it tastes like. Ireally I don't know how to identify it. Yet it's not like overpowering withflavor right MM swishing around a little bit in mymouth, like a I'm trying a delicious wine avno. Ican't even remember the last time I had a big red, because it's just I m they're just that bad, but so manypeople swear and Love Big Red and they love that stupid, big blue too, whichis equally as disgusting, an Al. This taste like to me: What isit Bubblegum See? It's been so long. I can't even think of like what biggerhead taste. You know you just think. That's all Y ea, I'm just SFUCKINGNASTY, yeah yeah, that's exactly it just makes me want o t. You know WHA,it's not bad, it's not like something I would choose like on a menu orsomething. If I went into Waterburger, I wouldt say: Oh, give me a big Red Um, but it's not bad. It's just notsomething. I can see people being fanatical about either right. So Iguess my verdict is h and they climb to the mountains. Lookdown upon the people and he said Mami Soda is only okaybut. Yeah definitebubble. Gum going on here probably has a lot of fruit, toasts andcoloring, and poisoning to make it red yeah EP. That sounds about right.Actually, there's not a lot of ingredients. Oon here S is carbonatedwater, high fruitose corn syrup nail that one natural and artificial flavor which what the fuck is. It's like acontradiction right there, it's natural,...

...an artificial red number, forty citricacid and caffeine. The caffeine content is sixty three milligrams per twentyfourounce and I have no idea h what those ratios mean if there's a lot or alittle, but I guess it would make sense if it was a lot right, because that'swhy people are so fucking Cuckoo for Thei Shit Yeah. I guess I just knowthat. There's a lot of red in it there's a lot right, I'm not in frontof a mirror. So I can't look at my tongue right now to see exactly how,but it's only like four or five sips, but still I bet you. This would stainyou something fierce Um Yeah. I guess that's it man! You should go U and buyone tomorrow and and revisit it s you J. I hate it with such passion and fury.I'm just gonna. Take your word for it that it's Mand H, I'm just going tolive happily ever after not having another big red, yeah you're, going tobe sitting on a porch someday, the dating apple work, you'll, be sittingnext to your wife of fifty years on, a rocking chair Gong should have wentback and Trin some big Red Taris too late hunted. Now the time is done. Ifyou don't want to be that guy don't live with regrets, go, try it o E.Actually, I fuck up because I'm I'm notoriously the cheapest son of a bitchon the face of the earth, and I got this at a convenience store instead oflike Walmart or something where I couldave got a too leader for the sameprice right. So would I pay a dollar ninety nine again for this twenty ounce,Fucking Soda? No, you know who I think would like it, though two little kids'cause again. If it tastes like Bubblegum, you can't go wrong yeah. Iguess so! Well, I'm going to tell you something right now in loo of everowning a cowboy hat or boots. This is the closest I've ever been to being aTexan or it's. It's baby steps were we're going to get you there you'regoing to be proud. You're Gong Ta get a a big Uh Texas Tattoo soon, and you know you're just going to live t the Texanlifestyle. Really. Will you brand me? Will you just fucking get a hot pokerand brand me in the ant? That's what it's going to be ats, how we do it downhere, Oh boy, why? No you know the original! Isegrtreethere's a lot Yo said: somting different, how you doing I'm doing fine and that does it for anotherinstallment of the selling out show. I want to think each and every one of youfor tuning in virtual hugs for all of you and toby my man, my Maine Man. Ireally appreciate you coming back on and filling in for nate. It's always apleasure talking to you, sir, and I'm Gong to let you tell everybody wherethey can find. You find some more information about your podcasts, but ifyou're on the show again, that's it you CA. You can't do that anymore. It's onit's only twice! So if you UST GON to get it out there now give us your bestpitch hit is okay! Okay! So if you like theparanormal, conspiracies or true crime, but in a satire outlook, go check out,my show secret transmission, it's on all the major pot cassing platforms andtwitter and Inscramat secret transpod. I also do a Retro Video Game ReviewShow where we take one old video game. We talk about the history, the gameplay the music, H, fun, facts and all kinds of other fun things about one oldgame and that secret levels- and it's also on insregram and titter at secretlevels pad dude. That should be your dating profile. Do you want Ta, you Wan to knowsomething funny? What's that recently I gave up on on the e the Swiping lefterright, so I literally changed my my dating profile to just go check opt my pot gas, I'm notgood at this, and I put put what they rere calledthat's promoting. Have you got any...

...wings, any nudges any any of that stuff?No I'd like to pretend, like I'm getting a bunch of listeners that arelike man, this Hunky Hunky Guy, her tie Mankan to him is fun. Pretending's. Thebest yeah come on now same with here. The selling out showdon't forget, you can find ice on all your socials n selling out show. I mean,I think, all of them, I'm not hein cool, you're defithely not going to find uson tinder. You can find me on tender there. You Gowel and no, no, I am dame that is not nat. I is toby and this has beenselling out. NTEXA MM enatrinfirmary media, Hey, I'm Maurice. As a barber, youmight think my scissors are my main tool, but really it's metro. That'swhere I got my eye. Om Severn! It's camera makes sharing my cuts as simpleas Smith. Snap Chair right now get Ang Iphon, seven with a camera that shootsfour K for just forty nine. Ninety nine. When you switch to the number onebrands, ind, FREPA, Metrobhit, teamobile rule your day require port inAvillito member not o has to want to move worwor afte, onatural, Halmanyti,Ander, petition, Tiini independent AE, an IT wor pocounts that hous te to e bytion seven model, O a eeces, foror e tousand, ten obmistions, four bills:three bills, two bills, one at first Commonwealth Bank. We make it simple toconsolidate your bills into one easy payment with a homeiquidy line ofcredit. At Especial one point: Nine Ni percent APR find out more in person oran FC Banten dot com. One Point: onded percent intervecto REAPR for six months.Just to a variable rate based on Wall Street JERNAL, primary cluster MiterMarcin with a mememory to four point: Four: nine percent and a maximum moryof eighteen percent off Fer, subject to change wit, withdrawa. Any time calledone hundred seven one, one, two, two: Six: Five for details about credit costin terms equal housing, lander, member of the IC.

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