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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 40 · 2 years ago

Ep.#40 Jive Turkey

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

We've cooked up a buffet of buffoonery with all the fixings! Dave is joined by guest host Toby to talk living in Texas (3:50), play a hilarious game of Jive Turkey Trivia (7:29), a belly busting brainstorming session on how to make Thanksgiving more marketable (18:43), plus what NOT to be thankful for this holiday season (33:19). This show is guaranteed to be more fun than a can of cranberry sauce spilling all over your creepy uncle who flew in from Cleveland. Click play and have a few laughs on us. Don't worry, we'll tidy up.

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...from Massachusetts originally. Now I live here, but in Massachusetts we'd say will, you can take it, borrow it, just bring it back when you're done. Texas has to be hostile, coming fucker Turkret. Come on, it's like this seems to be Mexico. What do you mean come and take it? Yeah, you know, again, I don't get the the big Texas, but I don't understand that the state pride or the town pride really, because like it's it wasn't my choice to be born here, it just happened. So why should I be real super proudful of it? I don't know. It's weird. Well, you know, I I understand what. People are happier where they're from or whatever, and I get it. I can support that to a certain degree, but Texas takes it to a whole fucking new level. It's just basically fuck y'all. We're from Texas, where the best yehaw and all that good shit. Yeah, I'm surprised you guys let Turkeys in Texas, speaking of Thanksgiving. Ah, wait me, you guys love to hunt. That's the other things. Yeah, none, every everyone hunts. In fact, funny story I for my work. I work in the old field and I ruined some guys hunting this morning by pulling up real early to go check some of the wells and I could just see him glaring at me through their dear blind and I was like yeah, sorry, man, I'm just doing my job. Did he go you semity Sam on you and try to follow you around, maybe shoot you in the ass? I did get a little bit nervous because I was like, Oh, I don't know if these rednecks are going to be ticked off at me or not, so I'm going to do my job, get out of here as quickly as possible and avoid any kind of confrontation with these guys. Move. That was that's pretty wise actually, but enough about your fucking lousy job. That sounds terrible. Yeah, it is. That sounds like a horrible position to have. I hope it pays well, yeah, so that means no, it's good enough. Yeah, okay, it's good enough that you could have a redneck fucking shooting a pellet gunny fucking ass. That's good enough for me, making fucking Nie Seventy five an hour. Yeah, but again, we are here to talk thanksgiving, because I say we, because that's what I want to talk about. And I also love to play games. Do you like games? I love game. You do. It's your favorite game, like video game, or I was. I know you host the video game podcast. So I wasn't going there as thinking more like shoots and ladders. Who See, I'm a monopoly guy, obvious. Sit there in play monopoly to the very end, and I'm hardcore about it, and everyone will be like, dude, let's just call it quits, we've been sitting here for four hours. No, I need all the money or if this isn't going to end well, the game I have prepared for you today is not monopoly, not even fucking close. So you're not going to have any, yeah, any leg up on this. Okay, but it's more like a game show, if you will. So let me go over here and grab my really long Pencil, microphone, my plaid jacket. Let me put that on and if you are ready, sir, we can rock and roll. I am ready. It's now time for America's please favorite game show, a tragic Thanksgiving tradition sadder than I can of squash, grab your drunken uncle and get ready to play along with all right, toby, this is jive Turkey. There's going to be four questions for you here. Okay, so you have a chance to break even, but all the questions will be relating to you guessed it, thanks giving. Are you now ready to play Jive Turkey? I am so ready to play a JAFB Turkey. You jeans are getting tight thinking about this right now. Yep, okay, a question number one. Well, we all know Black Friday whip sales starve soccer moms into a frenzy the day after Thanksgiving. which industry shows the biggest spike in sales the day before the holiday? A bakery, be bar or see condom? Who like? I mean like multiple choice for you to yeah, know that that helped the law the last yeah, I feel like there's going to be a trick to this. I mean bakery seems like the most obvious, but yeah, let's just go with bakery, even final as. Yeah, but I feel like you're tricking me. So maker. Okay, wait, hold on for a second. You feel like I'm tricking you. which way would you go if you felt like it wasn't a trick? What was be again? Okay, so the options were a bakery, b bar or see condom. See, okay, I would go with Bar, like we're talking like alcohol, right. Yes, yes, when I say bars, Bar, industry, condom. Yes, yes, I feel like that, because people are lonely and everyone's going out see family and some people can't go see family or whatever...

...the case may be. So that would be my backups be but I think bakery is gonna I don't know you, okay, just you're gonna have to tell me. Okay, so you're sticking with bakery. Bakery. Yeah, okay, you should have went with your back up, because the correct answer is Bar, a man for the reasons that you thought to. People go and they go home. Maybe they like me their transplants, they live somewhere else and they go when they visit their friends from high school, what have you. Or again, maybe they just lonely pieces of shit that needs something to do. And they hit the fucking bar. So, yes, you suck, I was. I was on the red track. I just I knew that that was going to be tricky. I should have never led you in the weeds. That was the problem, as my failure as a host and out of the PODCAST, but of the game show here. I should have never said are you share? Think about this first. I'm not going to do that again now. Was your only free being. You fucked it up. Dank it. Okay, all right. Number two. It's now normal for the president to playfully pardon a Turkey from the chopping block. But under which commander in chief did the practice become an official tradition? A witmore, be Hw Bush or a see Kovic? Who I'M gonna go with be Bush. I gues I don't feel like that's a I don't know. I don't really know how long that tradition has been around. MMM, I'm just I'm gonna go with me. Let's let's go with be. You are correct. Yes, it was George Hw Bush in one thousand nine hundred and eighty nine. There were other presidents before him that would set free of Turkey partner trick. I believe them, not even started with Nixon because one of his kids was sad to see a Turkey slaughtered for Thanksgiving. But you know what, beyond all this there was there's actually a trick to this question, because Whitmore and Kovic, we're not actual presidents, right. So pick. What are you write? Right, you, you made it sound like it was tough. You like, Jeez, I don't know. Well, I didn't know who the the third one was at all and I was like maybe, maybe, I just don't know how my presidents that. Yeah, that's why I did this to you. That's why I tried to fuck you up, because most people don't. I don't even, but I was hoping you might have guessed one, because it both movie presidents. Went Moore was the presidents from Independence Day, played by Bill Palman, and Kovic was from the Movie Day, this movie from one thousand nine hundred and ninety three. Man, I don't know. Fe You seen this movie right where he's he looks like the spitting image of the president. Yes, and he gives he placed and Sigourney weaver ends up falling in love with him. Spoiler alert. so that was Dave Kovic. The best part of that movie is when they're reading the little book and they're like Dave has no AH. They're talking about like the parts that he's missing from the little book. I don't know, it's that's the only part of the movie I really remember. Yeah, that part. Fuck, it sucked. Okay, so next question. This is going to be the hot air round. Oh Man, you're ready. Yes, which character has made the most appearances as a balloon at the annual macy's Thanksgiving Day parade? For you? Give me the answers. My first thought would be snoopy. Really, so I want to hear this anthem. You're going to change the answers on me and put snoopy in one of them. Now, well, that's not the read. I might do that. We'll see. I am a tricky, tricky cash said. I shouldn't have said anything. Okay, you know, I'm wearing, wearing all this game show host guard. I am feeling a little Rande. Yeah, a little frisky, if you will. And how can I not? I'm all gene Rayburn all over the fucking place. So Hey, Mickey Mouse, be snoopy man, or see Alfred e Newman. I don't know what an Alfred e Newman. I'll get the fuck outtie. But Mickey Mouse and snoopy. That's that one's that one's tough, but I think I'm gonna go with snoopy, and you would be correct, sir. Yes, it is snoopy, and I think it's so weird. You knew that ahead of time. How did you get that inclination? I'm a huge peanuts fan. I've got I collect a bunch of peanuts stuff. I just wasn't real sure, but that's the one that I always remember seeing at all the the parades. Yes, snoopy premiered in one thousand nine hundred and sixty eight and has had thirty nine appearances off and on, until two thousand and fifteen, where he was replaced by Charlie motherfucking Brown. Well, that's lame. Yeah, it was. SNOOPY's the heart and the soul. You think so? You just think so. Lazy dogs is on top of his fucking dog house. Hey, that's the life, man, that's the lat I got a problem with peanuts. So I has that well, because my last name is Schultz and the guy you create, his name is Charles Shoals. So everybody gets US confused, even though he is missing. The tea and the tea is the most important thing. Ask anybody. You mean, yeah, he's I'm going to tea in my name. I. I. I'm not Obie. Good, good point. Good Point. And alfredy Newman is the mascot for mad magazine. Oh okay, okay,...

...so, yeah, that I'm very disappointed. You didn't know that at the time. I brought up his name. M You know. Okay, so let's look at this. You right now. You have to correct one incorrect. This final question can either make you or break you. You're going to hit fifty percent or seventy five percent, which you can technically consider a win. Okay, are you ready for the final question? I don't know. This is the seems like a big deal, like it's as you take it all home or or leave it all behind. Is fucking massive, because I actually have a clown hiding in your closet right now with a frying pan. Yeah, and if you get this wrong, he's gonna fucking jump out and just bash you right in the fucking nose with it. Now, if I get it right, will he make me some scrambled eggs or so? He's going to make love to you gently. Has Seems like a lose Losey the way, but let's go. Oh No, my friend, you've never been made love to by a clown after midnight, special tender moment. Okay, enough about that an we'll see for IV IT business. Final question. While it's believed the pilgrims in the native Americans had their first harvest in one thousand six hundred and twenty one, which led to inspire thanksgiving, historians suspect Turkey was not on the menu. Which of the following food items was a buffalo, be skittles or see lobster? I mean buffalo a wrong, really? Fuck, bring out the clown. Great, yeah, no, the answer calls it the answer with skittles. I am sorry, sucks to be you. You're not going to say something. It's not. It's gonna come my ex I'm waiting for the joke or I got none of those jokes are not my forte is not. My specialty is actually lobster. I can't believe that. Well, listen, the first harvest was held in Massachusetts, so they believe sea food was a large part of the harvest. I see, see that food. Yeah, well, you know what you hit fifty percent. You got to right too wrong. I really should have thought this out a little bit better and made it five. Yeah, so you could have had the walk off, you know, the fucking call your shot. Be like this is the what if I get this one, this is it. Yeah, I just if this was a WHO wants to be a millionaire rules, I would a loss on the first question. So you know, well, you could have done a lifeline or something, but we don't. We don't allow that here. You know, allow assistance from from outside sources. You're you're all on your own, which is kind of a lie, because I did help you with that first one. You did help me, and I still have missed it. Yeah, this is true, true, but, toby, thank you so much for playing your officially the crappiest game show contestant of all time. I'd like to take a break from this buffet at buffoonery to thank their shows sponsors. These companies put out high quality products that I'm fond of and fuel the podcast that I present to you today. First Up, we have northland vapor, a onestop shop for all of your vaping supplies. there. Each juices are dike tone and artificial sweetener free, allowing for a rich, flavorful vape. I recommend Blue Rats, which I'm actually enjoying right now, and at Northland. Quality doesn't need to be costly, and they still shift to all fifty states. visit them at Northland vaporcom and use the code selling out nineteen for nineteen percent off your order. Next up we have spunk lube. Spunk is an award winning, non standing lubricant endorsed by a Bevy of professionals in the adult film industry. But why let them have all the fun? You can spice up your sex life today at spunk lubecom. Last but not least, big thanks to Alpine hemp. The CBD Revolution has arrived, and there's no better place to stock up on pure organic CBD products than Alpine Hempcom. Right now Alpine is having a fantastic all giveaway for free CBD that you really should get in on, and you can save nineteen percent off a check out by using codes selling out nineteen. And remember, when you shop with our partners, you're supporting the show. Toby, a common complaint amongst most Americans, myself primarily, I suppose. I'm on the front lines of this. Is that Christmas leap frogs. Thanksgiving. Yeah, okay, it's like I rite. You Finish Halloween and everybody's fucking talking about Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Why doesn't Thanksgiving get its props? I mentioned at the beginning of the show. It is my favorite holiday. So you know what gives, man, let me enjoy it and relax before you bombard me with basically a fat guy in a red suit telling me to buy shit. Right. Yeah, you know, I was already seeing at the beginning of the November I was seeing people drive around with like the antlers and...

...they're all blows and I was like, man, that's too early. It's way too early. We both got kids, so you know what, you kind of get gripped with Christmas fever, I think, earlier as a parent, because it's infectious, right, that magic is there with your kids that you don't have anymore, you know, but it is a little intoxicating exciting to think Christmas is coming. Yet all that being said, I still don't want to have this holiday jammed up my my PA duty right, my heehaw. Does it make you sick when people start putting Christmas lights up like the day after Halloween and you're like, wait a minute now, we were just all spooky and now you're all red and green on your house. That doesn't bother me, because I can only imagine the electric bills are getting. As we used suckers, dummy's, come on now, you know. So I look at it more realistically, I suppose. For me it's more again the commercials and things like that. Or you walk into department store and they've immediately torn down the Halloween section and throwing up the Christmas section and they've got just a like a half anile of Thanksgiving stuff, some some fall colors and stuff like. Say, Hey, it's like buy this bail a hey. Yeah, I don't have a fucking horse. Why would I need to buy a bail a hey? Give me some paper plates with Turkey's on them or something. Right, yeah, but anyway, this all leads me to ask you, because this is what the whole show is going to be about, me asking you stuff. Right, need your input on this. All right, put on a suit, okay, called comb your hair, okay, because I know you get those those long blond locks. Look those backspit shine, whatever you got to do. You are now an ad executive who, and I have hired you to rebrand Thanksgiving, to make it more appealing to people, to hopefully give it that glimmer in a shine that might make it stand up, if not completely at first, but eventually to that mighty holiday known as Christmas. So with that task, how would you do that? How would you remarket it to people, repackage it to people to show the importance of thanksgiving? HMM Well, first off, we would keep regular Thanksgiving and then the following, like Tuesday, we would have super thanksgiving. Super that what? Yeah, well, explain. How does this work? Well, I mean, do you want to eat big meal? A big meal again? That's all I'm saying. Like make it exciting, like, Oh yeah, we're going to eat this big meal on Friday, we're going to shop and then, like Monday or Tuesday, we're eating another big meal, super thanksgiving. Okay, let me say this to you. It essentially already exists without the name. Right these we're eating leftovers. Yeah, yeah, leftovers are good for like through that, throughout the weekend, but then we're going to have another fresh Turkey, we're going to have we're gonna have more, and it's just going to be super like we're really just going to top off and bust our buttons on our pants? Wow, super thanksgiving. You really going to fuck over whoever cooks in your household? Say You just did this? Do it all over a game, because I was going to be super. Expectations are very high. Yes, it's so, it's the better one. And and you know what? You know, accidents happen in the kitchen. What if you burn something? You get a second shot. See. So when someone's like, Oh, you know, the stuffing wasn't as good as it was last year, right, no worries, and a couple days you'll get another shot, you rude son of a bitch. You actually say that to somebody? No, no, but I mean if they if they were feeling bad about it, you'd be like no, no, it's good, but you know, you if you can try again in a couple of days, better, you can fucking do it better. You know you can do it better. Get back in there. Okay, super it's very marketable. I mean, come on, the true Super Nintendo. I can't think of anything else super, but that's the first thing they came man, Super Man, you go supermarket. Yes, see, super duper super cells on its own here you. Okay, so super, we're gonna add super and add a second. Okay, is that all you have as far as packaging? That's this bad boy up for everybody? Or okay, okay, Thanksgiving needs a mascot, not. I mean, I know that's the Turkey you like. Yeah, we got the Turkey, but we need like, especially for Super Thanksgiving, we need Super Turkey. See, he's coming to save the second thanksgiving. All right, if you hit me with another super as part of your your idea Palette here, I'm gonna be very disappointed in you. You hired me. I'm the Super Marketing Guy. Fire you. You remember that. So, oh, yeah, yeah, but really it needs a needs a mascot, you know, really mascot. All right, all right, so what was was the mascot again? An alligator, super alligator?...

Yeah, why not? I don't I don't know what else you could do. Yeah, but what was the mascot? What was it going to be? Did you tell me? And I glossed off. I said I said Super, a Super Turkey, like Oh, that's so. It was still a fucking Turkey, super global. Yeah, but like Sanna, there's there. He's got a name, he has a personality. We just have generic Turkey right now. We need a Turkey with with some SASS. Okay, no, SASS is good. I like SASS. I love SASS. I'm just using like marketing words to try to, like, to get a buzz out of you, like super and Sass. Well, let me inform you I am not buzzing right now. Okay, I'm trying. You're not buzzing me at all. There's no Ding Ding, there's no nothing, there's no, not even a slight vibration. So this is you. You have more. Hold on, hold on, Mega, Mega, man. Okay, I think mega's actually better than a super. Okay, we'll go with Mega thanksgiving. Okay, and Mega Ma got mega Turkey. Now, see, that just sounds like shit. Well, now now we now, okay, see, now we got to think on that, because now it's like a Godzilla looking Turkey mascot who's there to save Thanksgiving from other giant terrible mon stirs. Okay, it's gonna have like a whole kaijew thing going on where. Yes, okay, all right. And then every year we get it. We get a new Mega Turkey movie to go along with the holidays. It's perfect. The movie is a good idea. Yeah, like you don't have hero, let's have a Turkey as a fucking action hero. I don't Schwarzeneggan style, you know. Now my action hero stereotypes or from the s. So I was going to say like a Rambo version. I I like to see a Turkey with like the red tied off headband. And you know what I'd say? We get Arnold to voice the Turkey. There you go. I'm pretty much a marketing expert. Now he's going to need a catchphrase. You might want to go back you drawing board and think of one of those, you know, like every great s action hero had one. Where's EP KIA, motherfucker, yeah, or something like that. You get to think, what would a Turkey say? MMM, stuff, you you know. There it is as donold right there. I don't know, but I love it. So what else he is at it? Do you have any more in your little portfolio there for me? Or we need a we need a good Thanksgiving song. That is a great idea. I am so on board with you in regards to that, because Christmas is just songs Galore. Yeah, did you know that Jingle Bells was actually originally a Thanksgiving song. Well, thanks, yeah, it's true, absolutely true. They converted it into a Christmas song years later. So thanksgiving technically had a song and Christmas stole it. Wow, like. So we needn't do grinch. Yeah, exactly. But what Song would you choose? Who? MMM, tough one right. You weren't prepared for that. No, no, I it can't be anything. It's just it's hard because Christmas has songs that we've heard for years and years that just seemed classic for Christmas. So think of it like this. Okay, I would propose don't try to think of anything original. Don't sit there like fucking bing crosby or something, trying to whip out the next big Thanksgiving Song. Rather, let's adapt another song that already exists, and the easiest way to do that is think of the songs throughout your lifetime. There were just the easiest to make up words for if you didn't really know the lyrics to begin with. You know what I mean, and this actually got me thinking. Now you know the Blue Oyster cult? Yes, remember that song? They have the fear the reaper. Yes, no, fear the reaper did. I'm not going to sing the whole thing. This isn't a Karaoke show, but if you stop and consider that for a moment, you can make up any words you wanted. That song. The beginning is something like the the time has come, right. See, I don't think I know any of the words, but I can, I can humm it exactly. So okay, that's the point. You know the Melody Right, you know seek, you say grandma bear, you bum, and you would know the difference exactly. Okay, I like it. That's what I think we should do with a Thanksgiving song. And then it's going to be an automatic hit, because it was already a proven winner before. It was a try topper. Right, so we're in. We just change the words around to what we see fit, hopefully applying to turkeys and stuffing a cranberry sauce and drunken uncle's probably saying racist shit the fucking dinner table. And you got yourself a fucking nice little ditty there. Now. See, I'm already the the gears are trying to cheering a little bit. I'm feeling under pressure...

...just because it's also, you know, it's got the vanilla ice, ice, ice. Maybe it's already really, really recognizable. But how do we get a Turkey song out of that. You just said the under pressure has the ice ice baby. No, no, I mean ice, ice baby. Has the under pressure. Yeah, that's what I'm at baseline. Yeah, come onmind. Oh, yes, indeed, I think I was backwards a little bit, but you know where I was going. It's it's something that's already recognizable on two different fronts. So we've got that going for us on this one. We just need some we have to put this to a boat somewhere. Yeah, totally see which one is more adaptable. You know, there's terror of knowing what this Turkey's about, like this sauce and grandma. She's got gout right under pressure right there. Boom boom boom, Bubbo, boom boom. They put some gobble gobbles in there, which, yeah, it is already full of any way. They can borrow some gobble gobbles for me. I like it. I see that. I like this. You know what all your other Shit was? Indeed Shit. It was no good. But but you hit me with the music bit. I like that a lot. I think that's a keeper. I think you'RE gonna go. We're going to go with the music stuff and I think we really collaborated very well on that. Personally, I don't know, I feel am I getting paid now? WHOA, Whoa, Whoa, whoa. Is that all you had? Yeah, I mean, that's it. I'm I'm spent. Okay, good, because you like I ended on a high note. I'm out, Mike. Yeah, yeah, much, you drop my mind and walk away. Well, there was one one little tidbit I'm a little disappointed you didn't bring up in your presentation to me, and I was thinking, what's the one of the most iconic things about Christmas? The Tree? Oh, E mean. Yeah, see, everybody goes out, they buy the tree, you decorate the tree, the whole family. So we need something like that for Thanksgiving. So how about like a Turkey Bush? A Turkey Bush, I know it sounds dirty. It sounds very, very dirty. It's probably an urban dictionary, the Turkey Boosh, I hope. So I'm going to invent that tonight. Watch out, ladies, here I come. You'RE gonna get Turkey Bush to your right, because you know, Halloween you get the Pumpkin. You can't, you can't do like fall stuff, for you can't do the Pumpkin. I mean you can, but and then Christmas has the tree. It needs something really I you can't just make it, you can't. I mean Turkey, obviously, but you need something that sits there on the porch to say, listen here, it's freaking Thanksgiving porch. I'm bringing that motherfucker inside. Well, I'm Gona have a little shrubbery inside my living room that has little little turkeys on it and like advent calendar, you can pluck a Turkey all the day's leading up to Thanksgiving and everybody's happy. You know, is each advent thing that you open up, like you get some corn and one some Mesh padoes and another. Opening up anything, it's just fucking a Turkey from the Bush sounds equally as dirty as Turkey Bush did to begin with. Yeah, unless you have anything better, that's something we should probably put our rd and our design teams on. Yeah, immediately, a Turkey Bush and I really good song. Yep, that's it. You like I'm already scrapping mega super thanksgiving and mega super mask on song and Bush. You are not. You weren't real receptive to it. So I don't know. Well, I I guess some more bad news for you. What's that? Ye aint getting paid. Damn it, but you are more than welcome to come over to my pad and Cook for Supermiga. Thanksgiving Tis the season to be thankful for what you got, but, Gosh Darnet, toby, there are few things that can take a person off and make it, quite frankly, unthankful. Oh Yeah, Oh yeah, you sound really surprised. Oh yeah, I just couldn't see you. You're not bitter at all and not angry at stuff. Don't pretend like you fucking know me, Obie, but listen, you know it's not really popular now because if you go in social media and stuff, everybody says, you know, don't be negative, be happy, be joyous, run around with fucking rainbows coming out of your fucking eye sockets. And I get I want to be a happy person. But you know what, you're covering up the truth, that's what you're doing, because, no matter who you are or how great your life is, how much money you got, some shit you can't fucking stand. So with Thanksgiving we're supposed to stop, eat, gorge ourselves and give thanks. I'm doing the opposite here, Obie. I want to know what are you not thankful for? Oh, not thankful for but open up that can of worms like a can of cranberry sauce. My friend I recently went through a...

...divorce, so I'm not thankful for that. HMM, that's that's pretty rough. I'm not very thing ful for bills. I mean they come every month and you got to pay them. It sucks. Uh Huh. Oh, the winter. I'm not thankful for winter. I hate winter more than anything. I will take hundred degree whether in summer, all day long, over freezing temperatures. I hate it. Can I stop you right there for a second? Yeah, because since we are both Texanites or Texaners, what do you guys call yourselves? Texans? Texans, sex, texting people? Yeah, I don't know the fuck I'm talking about, but that's commonplace. But still, it doesn't get that cold here. See, and that's the problem. Is that still too cold for me? Okay, I can't, I can't. I can't take it like I this is as far north as I will ever go. I don't know. There's no way I could ever move up further north where it's real cold like this. It's it's just bad. I can't do it. Like my knees, they hurt in the cold. And I don't know, it's just not fun. And then, and then I'm fat already. So then you got to put on a big thick jacket and then you're like even the bigger marshmallowed. No, your blubber supposed to cover you up. But let's put this in context at so people can understand. When you're saying cold, you saying what? Thirty Degrees Fahrenheit? Yes, that's anything. You know what? If it's below forty, I'm done, I do not want it. Well, see when you let off for the whole weather thing. By the way, I guess the two worst things you can ever talk about a politics and weather. Yeah, I know everybody's went click, fuck you, selling out show. I'm exercising my right to shut you off. But Anyway, the thing is, you made it sound like it was freezing temperatures. It said below freezing. Thirty twenty five degrees. That is nowhere near below freezing. This is not fucking Alaska, Dude. Let me ask you, since since you've you've been in Texas for a little while, have you? Have you? You've been in Texas for one winter at least, right where schools and work shuts down, with just a snowflake. We didn't even get a single snowflake last year in Dallas, in the Dallas area, so nothing went to Shit is for Os. Okay that, but you live farther north. You live up by Oklahoma, right. Yeah, I'm am about an hour and a half north of you, I guess. But yeah, if we get just a snowflake or a little bit of icy roads, schools will shut down. Nothing is open for a week. It's ridiculous. It's like an apocalypse. That is terrible. I can't imagine it. I can't fathom it. Again, not to keep beating that fucking dead horse, but being from New England, Snow is the Shit, man. You know, I'm glad I never have to see it again. Never have to shovel it. Never. It'd be nice to see it maybe once, like through the window, but not have to deal with it. But still, the way that people react here when it gets cold, it's laughable. Folks. I'm still wearing shorts, man. Yeah, let's you have never shoveled snow in my entire life. I've never seen a snow plow or anything. You Pussy. That should be the new reality show is set of like wife swap or survivor, you know, putting people in extreme conditions. Find someone from a warm climate and just chuck them right in the fucking middle of winter for like two months, like hey, welcome to Minnesota, motherfucker. BLOOP and there you go right yet. Nope, no, I couldn't do it. What if there's a prize attached, like a still wouldn't do it. There's I just hate the cold that month. People do anything for money. That's how I got that clown in your fucking clote. You think he's doing that for free? I could have. I don't want to know what you did to get that clown on my glasses. Watch you muchy. No, but, dude, everybody's got their price. You'd say, all right, well, here's a million dollars. Go fucking living in an IGLOO for two months. I don't do that. No, I can't sleep when it's cold. I need heat. I need lots and lots of heat. Dude, there's no sum of money that we convince you. I mean everybody's got their price, man, everybody. It has to be a lot of money. And and like we didn't. Yeah, got the term. I just said. A million fucking dollars due and I say months. How comfortable can I be? You have like your blink it. No, no, I let your like the fuck out of here. I just told you a million bucks. First, I went from a hundred grand to a million, and I'm like, yeah, two months. You like, nobody tells me nothing, so I can't tell you would straight it answer. I guess fucking told you. Okay, yeah, two months. No, I can't do it. That's that's too miserable on my my body. Know your body so precious. Huh? It is? It's a it's a fat temple. Fuck going to say it's a temple? Yeah, you just call it a fat temple, you said from having to say, yeah, this is fucking worshiped meat bag. Yeah, that must be protected from frost bite at any cost. Yes, well, Hey, you know, I think on the grand scale of things, we talked to the long time about the weather here.

Yeah, maybe too much. I'm sorry about that. It's not your fault because you had some some legitimate shit to be unthankful for. But then hey, whether we're just easier to talk about, I suppose, and anything else. It's just a natural flow of things. Right. Well, put, are you unthankful for nothing. I'm a happy person. I'm always skipping around. Sometimes I even jump like the guy, the lucky from the lucky charmers box claniels. CLICKIE, yeah, Clicky, Clicky, yeah, I'm so happy. Motherfucker, as a terrible cartoon Leper convoice, I just did there. Yeah, you might need to work on that a little bit. It's okay for now. Yeah, well, whatever, whatever, but yeah, I don't know. I think what bothers me more than anything on the face of the Earth is lines. I hate lines. I can't tolerate them. If I go to a restaurant and they say, Oh, sir, there's going to be a twenty minute wait, I'm out. I'm I'm going to someplace with with maybe I didn't prefer to go to with lesser quality food stuffs because there's no light. Yeah, lines are miserable. They are fucking miserable. I hate lines, as you can tell. Any put a lot of preparation into how I was going to response. I didn't know if you're going to ask me. It's weird like on the on the unthankful scale. How do you wait things? Some people are angry that people are mean to them. Or their boss won't give them a raise. I don't really have any of those problems. I don't. Those don't really affect me. But yet again, if I wait in a line I start fucking fuming. And you know, the kids, kids bother me too, the damn kids, because I used to think I was going to be that guy who hit forty and I'm fucking cool man. I got fucking street cred like you wouldn't fucking believe, and now I don't understand them, I don't get them. See, I'm too big of a kid myself when I when I'm hanging out with my kids. So we just were. We get real nerdy and I'm okay with kids. Kids are fine, but I know they can be frustrating. They can be very frustrating. Wells not even that's not even their behavior. I'm just saying the stuff they're into. You know, they comes a point in life whe say, if the music is too loud, you're too old. Oh yeah, no, it's the the sayings that get me. What I hate more than anything when people say I'm very unthankful. Let me put it this way. I'm very unthankful for when people say, like the hip stuff like I haven't seen you in a minute. Uh Huh. I hate that one so much. So ironically say it to people, and you do. I will every once in a while, but I try to say it as sarcastic as humanly possible so it my point gets across. But then I sound like an old geezer trying to use cool hip lingo. Get it as Oh, fass, that's what. Yeah, and just just some of the now I know like my parents even were, you know, with my lingo and stuff that I had when I was a kid. They were like what does that mean, you know, and I'm just I'm old enough to where I'm like, I don't understand these words that these kids are saying, like that is lit, that's lit. Huh. Well, let's try to use these in a sentence. So if I went APSU and I'm like Hey toapster, been quite a while since I seen you. How you been so so, like, the hipster would probably say like I ain't seen you in a minute. Dog would. But how would you say? Can you said you use it. Say. That's exactly what I'd probably say, even throwing the dog. Yeah, just to be really, really ironic, use son of a bitch, just terrible. I know I'm an awful human being. You are. This is terrible. I can't believe you. You you like. I hate it, but I use it. I mean, I guess I can understand. You're adapting to the times, trying to be hip. I gotta being to be here, to be cool for the kid you got. It ain't all about fucking Hula hoops, Nintendo no more, and know the way you talk and the way you speak, but I mean even music. They got these in me, and native talked about this in past episodes. Mumble rappers are things I don't I don't understand and I've never heard her music. But there's this celebrity. Her name's billy ellish, Ilish, but my eyelish showcase. Well, they don't know. I don't even know either. I just saw a picture of it and I went she looks doped out of her fucking Gord. Yeah, they all kind of do nowadays. I don't get it. I'm I don't understand how this is like the new thing. I started to try to relate it to when I was a teenager and skinny chic was a thing from models with like Kate Moss they're like, oh my God, these girls look like they're are on heroin, and I'm like the girls now with this look, or even that, not even the girls, anybody with his style. It looks like they died of heroin and they were resurrected by like some kind of weird mummy spell or something and now they're performing on a stage somewhere. Is Terrible. Well, it's either that or they're so colorful and with face tattoos and everything, like my little one. He's ten and he's Tattoo. No, but he will draw that. What is that? rappers named six nine or whatever, the one that went to jail...

...for snitching. He's got face tattoos and one day he brought me a piece of paper and he's like look, I drew six nine, and I was like, first off, what does the six nine and why are you talking about six nine? And then he showed me the picture and it's a rapper with rainbow colored hair and Rainbow Grill and face tattoos, and I was just like, I don't know about that. I don't like all that. Wow, but that's how I knew I became an old man when I was like, I don't agree this has become the getoff my lawn segment. I know in that terrible well that that's what partially what bugs me is I can't relate anymore, and that was something that I thought I'd always be able to do. I never thought I would lose the ability to kind of, you know, bridge the gap between generations and again relate it to my era and go, okay, well, this is I can understand this because it is similar to that right. But it's not happening anymore. The disconnect has finally occurred and I feel like an old turty bastard. Oh my God, I am stuffed. This has been quite the episode, quite filling really. We've had all the fixings and the main meal, the main dish, or is fancy folks like to call it the main course. If you enjoyed the show, you know what. Reach out to us. Let us know about it. It's the easy way to do it. Find us on any of our socials. At selling out show. We're on the INSTAGRAM because we're hipping with it. We're on twitter, oh, on facebook, which I personally cannot stand. I mentioned it every fucking chance I get. It's actually at selling out show one, because I tried to set it up and because I do in fact hate the facebook, I fucked up. But anywhere. You can also send us an email. Selling out show at GMAILCOM toabster. I'm so happy. It's been such a long time since we talked. It's been a been a minute. Damn it. You yeah, I'd been a minute. This was it was lit being on the show tonight, so I'm real happy about that. Oh Baby, yeah, it was, but I appreciate you coming on and filling in. Thank you so much for teaching me the lingo. Spending this Thanksgiving centric. I don't know if I want to call it a Thanksgiving special or just themed. My taste with me. You can you can call it super thanksgiving, super mega selling out show Thanksgiving style. So the other thing we did invent. We need a dance. We need to Thanksgiving dance, like, Oh yeah, I definitely the Turkey do the Turkey dance, you know. But anyway, it's still I want to thank you. I truly do enjoy talking to you very, very much and it's been far too long, my friend. Whether it be a minute or a thousand minutes or days or months or whatever the fuck they want to call it. But still, you get my you get my drift, don't you? Daddy? Oh, I I do, cool cat. I don't know, all right, I'm not very hip with all this. Yeah, well, but no, it was. It was my pleasure. Like you know, it has been a while since we've got to hang out and talk, so it's good to talk about food, to big boys talking about food. Come on, yeah, now, let people know where they can find find you. You know where they can they find your shows. Well, if you want to hear conspiracies and supernatural with a satire outlook, go check out my show, secret transmission podcast. It's on everything, itunes, stitchers, spotify. I heart radio. Just look up secret transmission podcast. Now, if you like Retro Video Games, me and my cohost we review and rate one retro video game per episode. We go over the history the gameplay some fun facts and then we rate it at the end. And that's secret levels. And again it's also on all the major podcasting platforms. So, but you can follow our shows on twitter and instagram at secret transpod and secret at secret levels pod. So follow both of them. They're kind of fun. Hey, I do. I follow them. You do follow them. You see that you you like everything and you you show some love and I appreciate that. And you know what, more people should do the same. And you know how you can do that. If you like a show, if you don't like a show, it doesn't fucking matter. write an email or rate and review on itunes. It goes a long way to help a show grow, and I wouldn't mind it if you asked me a review. We either a just not trying to self promote here, nothing but do it. Hell Yeah. On that note, I want to thank each and every one of you for tuning in. I truly love all of you. I mean really, you're all invited over for Thanksgiving, not saying I'm going to feed you, that might be too costly, but so they can come over and watch me eat. Virtual hugs for all of you. I am Dave. That is totally filling in for date, and this has been selling out infirmary media. Hey,...

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