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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 40 · 2 years ago

Ep.#40 Jive Turkey

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

We've cooked up a buffet of buffoonery with all the fixings! Dave is joined by guest host Toby to talk living in Texas (3:50), play a hilarious game of Jive Turkey Trivia (7:29), a belly busting brainstorming session on how to make Thanksgiving more marketable (18:43), plus what NOT to be thankful for this holiday season (33:19). This show is guaranteed to be more fun than a can of cranberry sauce spilling all over your creepy uncle who flew in from Cleveland. Click play and have a few laughs on us. Don't worry, we'll tidy up.

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This is no ordinary subshot. Thisis fire house ups. Tired of overpriced lunches that under deliver on flavor,head to firehouse ups, where, for a limited time, you can geta four hundred and ninety nine choice up. Choose from a medium smoke, Turkey, Virginia, honey, ham or roast beef. Their custom made hotsubs that are price ready made to make you smile. Just for four hundredand ninety nine only at firehouse ups. Enjoy more subs, save more lives. Participating locations plus tax, limit time offel prices may vary for delivery infirmarymedia. You were now to dig to this selling out podcast. When itdoes is beaches into a brain chemically and now cat your happiest memory chemically andthen blocks on that emotion and reason it chemically and then it keeps your happy, happy, hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the selling out show. I am one of your host, David Sheltz, and by my sideis not my partner in crime, nates. No, unfortunately he issick. He's actually in the hospital right now, so it's I can't saytoo much. I'm sure when he returns he will fill you all in,but definitely send good vibes his way. Luckily enough, I have another goodpal of mine sitting in. I am joined by Toby Schofield of the secrettransmission and secret levels podcast. Toby, thank you for coming here. Andevery one of your podcast starts with a secret. So what do you haveto hide? Man, I don't know exactly. It's just a gimmick thatx accidentally carried over into all my shows and I don't know. It's along story of why everything's such a secret. I guess I want to thank youfor being here. I think I thank you already, so that's tothank you is. But you know what, I'm in the mood. I'm inthe spirit because it's Thanksgiving, and has Thanksgiving happens to me, myfavorite holiday, really, really. That is why what? Okay, thankyou for asking me. I'm not going to keep this a secret. It'sbecause I am a fat fuck and I love to eat and I hate responsibility. You see now, yeah, think about it. Christmas, right,you got to go places, you got to buy people shit. You know, it's just a lot of work, it's a lot of hassle. Fourthof July, fireworks, WHOPLA, Yadda Yada, Yada, all this fuckinggrandiose bullshit. Right thanksgiving. No, I don't have to deal with anyof this. No rapping, no glad handing or anything like that. Ius have to show up, eat, sleep and then I don't. Maybeget up and eat again. That's about it. Well, and then allthe sales, all sales. Are you a black Friday guy? No,no, actually, I'm the kind of person that waits until like Friday afternoonwhen everything's been picked over and I go see what's left. You're a buzzard, yeah, which some of our I'm a buzzard, fucking scavenger. Yeah, I'll never do black Friday. I did that once when I was ayounger person. I think I said young person's game. Actually, if youask me, who's actually going to wake up early and go fucking try tobuy a Shitty TV for a great price? Because that's what it is. YouSee, I wish I could be like that, but I'm so lazythat I'm like, I don't know, I'll pay the extra four hundred dollarsfor the TV. I don't care. I don't have to fight the crowdsand I get to sleep in. Well, now they let you do most ofit online. There's a lot of that. Oh, you can shopblack Friday starting now at wally world. Just fucking go online and you're underpants and buy a Roku. Yeah, trying to target us, to tryingto target those fat lazy fucks like we are. That's what they're trying todo. That they realize they missed out on our market. Right. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad because again I don't have to leave the houseand I can get some good deals and then I'll go buzzard over what's leftat the stores. there. You go at a boy and you happen tolive in Texas. Yes, which is ama take you are tex and beera light. We were lifelong Texan. Are you from here? No,I I was born and raised. You're right here in the great state ofTexas. What's with that great state stuff? Where did that come out it?You know what? I really don't. I don't. I don't. Imean I've got, I guess, a little bit of Texas pride,but I don't have it as hardcore as the real textans. You know,Texans love slogans, the come and take it. Don't mess the Texas yeah, what's Lone Star State? Yeah, I don't know. We've better starsat night. Are Big and bran. I mean we've got a we gota bunch of goofy Texas stuff. I don't get any of them. Youknow what I mean? It's the whole come and take it thing. Tome, I always say, because I'm...

...from Massachusetts originally. Now I livehere, but in Massachusetts we'd say will, you can take it, borrow it, just bring it back when you're done. Texas has to be hostile, coming fucker Turkret. Come on, it's like this seems to be Mexico. What do you mean come and take it? Yeah, you know,again, I don't get the the big Texas, but I don't understand thatthe state pride or the town pride really, because like it's it wasn't my choiceto be born here, it just happened. So why should I bereal super proudful of it? I don't know. It's weird. Well,you know, I I understand what. People are happier where they're from orwhatever, and I get it. I can support that to a certain degree, but Texas takes it to a whole fucking new level. It's just basicallyfuck y'all. We're from Texas, where the best yehaw and all that goodshit. Yeah, I'm surprised you guys let Turkeys in Texas, speaking ofThanksgiving. Ah, wait me, you guys love to hunt. That's theother things. Yeah, none, every everyone hunts. In fact, funnystory I for my work. I work in the old field and I ruinedsome guys hunting this morning by pulling up real early to go check some ofthe wells and I could just see him glaring at me through their dear blindand I was like yeah, sorry, man, I'm just doing my job. Did he go you semity Sam on you and try to follow you around, maybe shoot you in the ass? I did get a little bit nervousbecause I was like, Oh, I don't know if these rednecks are goingto be ticked off at me or not, so I'm going to do my job, get out of here as quickly as possible and avoid any kind ofconfrontation with these guys. Move. That was that's pretty wise actually, butenough about your fucking lousy job. That sounds terrible. Yeah, it is. That sounds like a horrible position to have. I hope it pays well, yeah, so that means no, it's good enough. Yeah, okay, it's good enough that you could have a redneck fucking shooting a pellet gunnyfucking ass. That's good enough for me, making fucking Nie Seventy five an hour. Yeah, but again, we are here to talk thanksgiving, becauseI say we, because that's what I want to talk about. And Ialso love to play games. Do you like games? I love game.You do. It's your favorite game, like video game, or I was. I know you host the video game podcast. So I wasn't going thereas thinking more like shoots and ladders. Who See, I'm a monopoly guy, obvious. Sit there in play monopoly to the very end, and I'mhardcore about it, and everyone will be like, dude, let's just callit quits, we've been sitting here for four hours. No, I needall the money or if this isn't going to end well, the game Ihave prepared for you today is not monopoly, not even fucking close. So you'renot going to have any, yeah, any leg up on this. Okay, but it's more like a game show, if you will. Solet me go over here and grab my really long Pencil, microphone, myplaid jacket. Let me put that on and if you are ready, sir, we can rock and roll. I am ready. It's now time forAmerica's please favorite game show, a tragic Thanksgiving tradition sadder than I can ofsquash, grab your drunken uncle and get ready to play along with all right, toby, this is jive Turkey. There's going to be four questions foryou here. Okay, so you have a chance to break even, butall the questions will be relating to you guessed it, thanks giving. Areyou now ready to play Jive Turkey? I am so ready to play aJAFB Turkey. You jeans are getting tight thinking about this right now. Yep, okay, a question number one. Well, we all know Black Fridaywhip sales starve soccer moms into a frenzy the day after Thanksgiving. which industryshows the biggest spike in sales the day before the holiday? A bakery,be bar or see condom? Who like? I mean like multiple choice for youto yeah, know that that helped the law the last yeah, Ifeel like there's going to be a trick to this. I mean bakery seemslike the most obvious, but yeah, let's just go with bakery, evenfinal as. Yeah, but I feel like you're tricking me. So maker. Okay, wait, hold on for a second. You feel like I'mtricking you. which way would you go if you felt like it wasn't atrick? What was be again? Okay, so the options were a bakery,b bar or see condom. See, okay, I would go with Bar, like we're talking like alcohol, right. Yes, yes, whenI say bars, Bar, industry, condom. Yes, yes, Ifeel like that, because people are lonely and everyone's going out see family andsome people can't go see family or whatever...

...the case may be. So thatwould be my backups be but I think bakery is gonna I don't know you, okay, just you're gonna have to tell me. Okay, so you'resticking with bakery. Bakery. Yeah, okay, you should have went withyour back up, because the correct answer is Bar, a man for thereasons that you thought to. People go and they go home. Maybe theylike me their transplants, they live somewhere else and they go when they visittheir friends from high school, what have you. Or again, maybe theyjust lonely pieces of shit that needs something to do. And they hit thefucking bar. So, yes, you suck, I was. I wason the red track. I just I knew that that was going to betricky. I should have never led you in the weeds. That was theproblem, as my failure as a host and out of the PODCAST, butof the game show here. I should have never said are you share?Think about this first. I'm not going to do that again now. Wasyour only free being. You fucked it up. Dank it. Okay,all right. Number two. It's now normal for the president to playfully pardona Turkey from the chopping block. But under which commander in chief did thepractice become an official tradition? A witmore, be Hw Bush or a see Kovic? Who I'M gonna go with be Bush. I gues I don't feellike that's a I don't know. I don't really know how long that traditionhas been around. MMM, I'm just I'm gonna go with me. Let'slet's go with be. You are correct. Yes, it was George Hw Bushin one thousand nine hundred and eighty nine. There were other presidents beforehim that would set free of Turkey partner trick. I believe them, noteven started with Nixon because one of his kids was sad to see a Turkeyslaughtered for Thanksgiving. But you know what, beyond all this there was there's actuallya trick to this question, because Whitmore and Kovic, we're not actualpresidents, right. So pick. What are you write? Right, you, you made it sound like it was tough. You like, Jeez,I don't know. Well, I didn't know who the the third one wasat all and I was like maybe, maybe, I just don't know howmy presidents that. Yeah, that's why I did this to you. That'swhy I tried to fuck you up, because most people don't. I don'teven, but I was hoping you might have guessed one, because it bothmovie presidents. Went Moore was the presidents from Independence Day, played by BillPalman, and Kovic was from the Movie Day, this movie from one thousandnine hundred and ninety three. Man, I don't know. Fe You seenthis movie right where he's he looks like the spitting image of the president.Yes, and he gives he placed and Sigourney weaver ends up falling in lovewith him. Spoiler alert. so that was Dave Kovic. The best partof that movie is when they're reading the little book and they're like Dave hasno AH. They're talking about like the parts that he's missing from the littlebook. I don't know, it's that's the only part of the movie Ireally remember. Yeah, that part. Fuck, it sucked. Okay,so next question. This is going to be the hot air round. OhMan, you're ready. Yes, which character has made the most appearances asa balloon at the annual macy's Thanksgiving Day parade? For you? Give methe answers. My first thought would be snoopy. Really, so I wantto hear this anthem. You're going to change the answers on me and putsnoopy in one of them. Now, well, that's not the read.I might do that. We'll see. I am a tricky, tricky cashsaid. I shouldn't have said anything. Okay, you know, I'm wearing, wearing all this game show host guard. I am feeling a little Rande.Yeah, a little frisky, if you will. And how can Inot? I'm all gene Rayburn all over the fucking place. So Hey,Mickey Mouse, be snoopy man, or see Alfred e Newman. I don'tknow what an Alfred e Newman. I'll get the fuck outtie. But MickeyMouse and snoopy. That's that one's that one's tough, but I think I'mgonna go with snoopy, and you would be correct, sir. Yes,it is snoopy, and I think it's so weird. You knew that aheadof time. How did you get that inclination? I'm a huge peanuts fan. I've got I collect a bunch of peanuts stuff. I just wasn't realsure, but that's the one that I always remember seeing at all the theparades. Yes, snoopy premiered in one thousand nine hundred and sixty eight andhas had thirty nine appearances off and on, until two thousand and fifteen, wherehe was replaced by Charlie motherfucking Brown. Well, that's lame. Yeah,it was. SNOOPY's the heart and the soul. You think so?You just think so. Lazy dogs is on top of his fucking dog house. Hey, that's the life, man, that's the lat I got a problemwith peanuts. So I has that well, because my last name isSchultz and the guy you create, his name is Charles Shoals. So everybodygets US confused, even though he is missing. The tea and the teais the most important thing. Ask anybody. You mean, yeah, he's I'mgoing to tea in my name. I. I. I'm not Obie. Good, good point. Good Point. And alfredy Newman is the mascot formad magazine. Oh okay, okay,...

...so, yeah, that I'm verydisappointed. You didn't know that at the time. I brought up hisname. M You know. Okay, so let's look at this. Youright now. You have to correct one incorrect. This final question can eithermake you or break you. You're going to hit fifty percent or seventy fivepercent, which you can technically consider a win. Okay, are you readyfor the final question? I don't know. This is the seems like a bigdeal, like it's as you take it all home or or leave itall behind. Is fucking massive, because I actually have a clown hiding inyour closet right now with a frying pan. Yeah, and if you get thiswrong, he's gonna fucking jump out and just bash you right in thefucking nose with it. Now, if I get it right, will hemake me some scrambled eggs or so? He's going to make love to yougently. Has Seems like a lose Losey the way, but let's go.Oh No, my friend, you've never been made love to by a clownafter midnight, special tender moment. Okay, enough about that an we'll see forIV IT business. Final question. While it's believed the pilgrims in thenative Americans had their first harvest in one thousand six hundred and twenty one,which led to inspire thanksgiving, historians suspect Turkey was not on the menu.Which of the following food items was a buffalo, be skittles or see lobster? I mean buffalo a wrong, really? Fuck, bring out the clown.Great, yeah, no, the answer calls it the answer with skittles. I am sorry, sucks to be you. You're not going to saysomething. It's not. It's gonna come my ex I'm waiting for the jokeor I got none of those jokes are not my forte is not. Myspecialty is actually lobster. I can't believe that. Well, listen, thefirst harvest was held in Massachusetts, so they believe sea food was a largepart of the harvest. I see, see that food. Yeah, well, you know what you hit fifty percent. You got to right too wrong.I really should have thought this out a little bit better and made itfive. Yeah, so you could have had the walk off, you know, the fucking call your shot. Be like this is the what if Iget this one, this is it. Yeah, I just if this wasa WHO wants to be a millionaire rules, I would a loss on the firstquestion. So you know, well, you could have done a lifeline orsomething, but we don't. We don't allow that here. You know, allow assistance from from outside sources. You're you're all on your own,which is kind of a lie, because I did help you with that firstone. You did help me, and I still have missed it. Yeah, this is true, true, but, toby, thank you so much forplaying your officially the crappiest game show contestant of all time. I'd liketo take a break from this buffet at buffoonery to thank their shows sponsors.These companies put out high quality products that I'm fond of and fuel the podcastthat I present to you today. First Up, we have northland vapor,a onestop shop for all of your vaping supplies. there. Each juices aredike tone and artificial sweetener free, allowing for a rich, flavorful vape.I recommend Blue Rats, which I'm actually enjoying right now, and at Northland. Quality doesn't need to be costly, and they still shift to all fiftystates. visit them at Northland vaporcom and use the code selling out nineteen fornineteen percent off your order. Next up we have spunk lube. Spunk isan award winning, non standing lubricant endorsed by a Bevy of professionals in theadult film industry. But why let them have all the fun? You canspice up your sex life today at spunk lubecom. Last but not least,big thanks to Alpine hemp. The CBD Revolution has arrived, and there's nobetter place to stock up on pure organic CBD products than Alpine Hempcom. Rightnow Alpine is having a fantastic all giveaway for free CBD that you really shouldget in on, and you can save nineteen percent off a check out byusing codes selling out nineteen. And remember, when you shop with our partners,you're supporting the show. Toby, a common complaint amongst most Americans,myself primarily, I suppose. I'm on the front lines of this. Isthat Christmas leap frogs. Thanksgiving. Yeah, okay, it's like I rite.You Finish Halloween and everybody's fucking talking about Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.Why doesn't Thanksgiving get its props? I mentioned at the beginning of the show. It is my favorite holiday. So you know what gives, man,let me enjoy it and relax before you bombard me with basically a fat guyin a red suit telling me to buy shit. Right. Yeah, youknow, I was already seeing at the beginning of the November I was seeingpeople drive around with like the antlers and...

...they're all blows and I was like, man, that's too early. It's way too early. We both gotkids, so you know what, you kind of get gripped with Christmas fever, I think, earlier as a parent, because it's infectious, right, thatmagic is there with your kids that you don't have anymore, you know, but it is a little intoxicating exciting to think Christmas is coming. Yetall that being said, I still don't want to have this holiday jammed upmy my PA duty right, my heehaw. Does it make you sick when peoplestart putting Christmas lights up like the day after Halloween and you're like,wait a minute now, we were just all spooky and now you're all redand green on your house. That doesn't bother me, because I can onlyimagine the electric bills are getting. As we used suckers, dummy's, comeon now, you know. So I look at it more realistically, Isuppose. For me it's more again the commercials and things like that. Oryou walk into department store and they've immediately torn down the Halloween section and throwingup the Christmas section and they've got just a like a half anile of Thanksgivingstuff, some some fall colors and stuff like. Say, Hey, it'slike buy this bail a hey. Yeah, I don't have a fucking horse.Why would I need to buy a bail a hey? Give me somepaper plates with Turkey's on them or something. Right, yeah, but anyway,this all leads me to ask you, because this is what the whole showis going to be about, me asking you stuff. Right, needyour input on this. All right, put on a suit, okay,called comb your hair, okay, because I know you get those those longblond locks. Look those backspit shine, whatever you got to do. Youare now an ad executive who, and I have hired you to rebrand Thanksgiving, to make it more appealing to people, to hopefully give it that glimmer ina shine that might make it stand up, if not completely at first, but eventually to that mighty holiday known as Christmas. So with that task, how would you do that? How would you remarket it to people,repackage it to people to show the importance of thanksgiving? HMM Well, firstoff, we would keep regular Thanksgiving and then the following, like Tuesday,we would have super thanksgiving. Super that what? Yeah, well, explain. How does this work? Well, I mean, do you want toeat big meal? A big meal again? That's all I'm saying. Like makeit exciting, like, Oh yeah, we're going to eat this big mealon Friday, we're going to shop and then, like Monday or Tuesday, we're eating another big meal, super thanksgiving. Okay, let me saythis to you. It essentially already exists without the name. Right these we'reeating leftovers. Yeah, yeah, leftovers are good for like through that,throughout the weekend, but then we're going to have another fresh Turkey, we'regoing to have we're gonna have more, and it's just going to be superlike we're really just going to top off and bust our buttons on our pants? Wow, super thanksgiving. You really going to fuck over whoever cooks inyour household? Say You just did this? Do it all over a game,because I was going to be super. Expectations are very high. Yes,it's so, it's the better one. And and you know what? Youknow, accidents happen in the kitchen. What if you burn something? Youget a second shot. See. So when someone's like, Oh,you know, the stuffing wasn't as good as it was last year, right, no worries, and a couple days you'll get another shot, you rudeson of a bitch. You actually say that to somebody? No, no, but I mean if they if they were feeling bad about it, you'dbe like no, no, it's good, but you know, you if youcan try again in a couple of days, better, you can fuckingdo it better. You know you can do it better. Get back inthere. Okay, super it's very marketable. I mean, come on, thetrue Super Nintendo. I can't think of anything else super, but that'sthe first thing they came man, Super Man, you go supermarket. Yes, see, super duper super cells on its own here you. Okay,so super, we're gonna add super and add a second. Okay, isthat all you have as far as packaging? That's this bad boy up for everybody? Or okay, okay, Thanksgiving needs a mascot, not. Imean, I know that's the Turkey you like. Yeah, we got theTurkey, but we need like, especially for Super Thanksgiving, we need SuperTurkey. See, he's coming to save the second thanksgiving. All right,if you hit me with another super as part of your your idea Palette here, I'm gonna be very disappointed in you. You hired me. I'm the SuperMarketing Guy. Fire you. You remember that. So, oh,yeah, yeah, but really it needs a needs a mascot, you know, really mascot. All right, all right, so what was was themascot again? An alligator, super alligator?...

Yeah, why not? I don'tI don't know what else you could do. Yeah, but what wasthe mascot? What was it going to be? Did you tell me?And I glossed off. I said I said Super, a Super Turkey,like Oh, that's so. It was still a fucking Turkey, super global. Yeah, but like Sanna, there's there. He's got a name,he has a personality. We just have generic Turkey right now. We needa Turkey with with some SASS. Okay, no, SASS is good. Ilike SASS. I love SASS. I'm just using like marketing words totry to, like, to get a buzz out of you, like superand Sass. Well, let me inform you I am not buzzing right now. Okay, I'm trying. You're not buzzing me at all. There's noDing Ding, there's no nothing, there's no, not even a slight vibration. So this is you. You have more. Hold on, hold on, Mega, Mega, man. Okay, I think mega's actually better than asuper. Okay, we'll go with Mega thanksgiving. Okay, and MegaMa got mega Turkey. Now, see, that just sounds like shit. Well, now now we now, okay, see, now we got to thinkon that, because now it's like a Godzilla looking Turkey mascot who's thereto save Thanksgiving from other giant terrible mon stirs. Okay, it's gonna havelike a whole kaijew thing going on where. Yes, okay, all right.And then every year we get it. We get a new Mega Turkey movieto go along with the holidays. It's perfect. The movie is agood idea. Yeah, like you don't have hero, let's have a Turkeyas a fucking action hero. I don't Schwarzeneggan style, you know. Nowmy action hero stereotypes or from the s. So I was going to say likea Rambo version. I I like to see a Turkey with like thered tied off headband. And you know what I'd say? We get Arnoldto voice the Turkey. There you go. I'm pretty much a marketing expert.Now he's going to need a catchphrase. You might want to go back youdrawing board and think of one of those, you know, like everygreat s action hero had one. Where's EP KIA, motherfucker, yeah,or something like that. You get to think, what would a Turkey say? MMM, stuff, you you know. There it is as donold right there. I don't know, but I love it. So what else heis at it? Do you have any more in your little portfolio there forme? Or we need a we need a good Thanksgiving song. That isa great idea. I am so on board with you in regards to that, because Christmas is just songs Galore. Yeah, did you know that JingleBells was actually originally a Thanksgiving song. Well, thanks, yeah, it'strue, absolutely true. They converted it into a Christmas song years later.So thanksgiving technically had a song and Christmas stole it. Wow, like.So we needn't do grinch. Yeah, exactly. But what Song would youchoose? Who? MMM, tough one right. You weren't prepared for that. No, no, I it can't be anything. It's just it's hardbecause Christmas has songs that we've heard for years and years that just seemed classicfor Christmas. So think of it like this. Okay, I would proposedon't try to think of anything original. Don't sit there like fucking bing crosbyor something, trying to whip out the next big Thanksgiving Song. Rather,let's adapt another song that already exists, and the easiest way to do thatis think of the songs throughout your lifetime. There were just the easiest to makeup words for if you didn't really know the lyrics to begin with.You know what I mean, and this actually got me thinking. Now youknow the Blue Oyster cult? Yes, remember that song? They have thefear the reaper. Yes, no, fear the reaper did. I'm notgoing to sing the whole thing. This isn't a Karaoke show, but ifyou stop and consider that for a moment, you can make up any words youwanted. That song. The beginning is something like the the time hascome, right. See, I don't think I know any of the words, but I can, I can humm it exactly. So okay, that'sthe point. You know the Melody Right, you know seek, you say grandmabear, you bum, and you would know the difference exactly. Okay, I like it. That's what I think we should do with a Thanksgivingsong. And then it's going to be an automatic hit, because it wasalready a proven winner before. It was a try topper. Right, sowe're in. We just change the words around to what we see fit,hopefully applying to turkeys and stuffing a cranberry sauce and drunken uncle's probably saying racistshit the fucking dinner table. And you got yourself a fucking nice little dittythere. Now. See, I'm already the the gears are trying to cheeringa little bit. I'm feeling under pressure...

...just because it's also, you know, it's got the vanilla ice, ice, ice. Maybe it's already really,really recognizable. But how do we get a Turkey song out of that. You just said the under pressure has the ice ice baby. No,no, I mean ice, ice baby. Has the under pressure. Yeah,that's what I'm at baseline. Yeah, come onmind. Oh, yes,indeed, I think I was backwards a little bit, but you knowwhere I was going. It's it's something that's already recognizable on two different fronts. So we've got that going for us on this one. We just needsome we have to put this to a boat somewhere. Yeah, totally seewhich one is more adaptable. You know, there's terror of knowing what this Turkey'sabout, like this sauce and grandma. She's got gout right under pressure rightthere. Boom boom boom, Bubbo, boom boom. They put some gobblegobbles in there, which, yeah, it is already full of any way. They can borrow some gobble gobbles for me. I like it.I see that. I like this. You know what all your other Shitwas? Indeed Shit. It was no good. But but you hit mewith the music bit. I like that a lot. I think that's akeeper. I think you'RE gonna go. We're going to go with the musicstuff and I think we really collaborated very well on that. Personally, Idon't know, I feel am I getting paid now? WHOA, Whoa,Whoa, whoa. Is that all you had? Yeah, I mean,that's it. I'm I'm spent. Okay, good, because you like I endedon a high note. I'm out, Mike. Yeah, yeah, much, you drop my mind and walk away. Well, there was oneone little tidbit I'm a little disappointed you didn't bring up in your presentation tome, and I was thinking, what's the one of the most iconic thingsabout Christmas? The Tree? Oh, E mean. Yeah, see,everybody goes out, they buy the tree, you decorate the tree, the wholefamily. So we need something like that for Thanksgiving. So how aboutlike a Turkey Bush? A Turkey Bush, I know it sounds dirty. Itsounds very, very dirty. It's probably an urban dictionary, the TurkeyBoosh, I hope. So I'm going to invent that tonight. Watch out, ladies, here I come. You'RE gonna get Turkey Bush to your right, because you know, Halloween you get the Pumpkin. You can't, youcan't do like fall stuff, for you can't do the Pumpkin. I meanyou can, but and then Christmas has the tree. It needs something reallyI you can't just make it, you can't. I mean Turkey, obviously, but you need something that sits there on the porch to say, listenhere, it's freaking Thanksgiving porch. I'm bringing that motherfucker inside. Well,I'm Gona have a little shrubbery inside my living room that has little little turkeyson it and like advent calendar, you can pluck a Turkey all the day'sleading up to Thanksgiving and everybody's happy. You know, is each advent thingthat you open up, like you get some corn and one some Mesh padoesand another. Opening up anything, it's just fucking a Turkey from the Bushsounds equally as dirty as Turkey Bush did to begin with. Yeah, unlessyou have anything better, that's something we should probably put our rd and ourdesign teams on. Yeah, immediately, a Turkey Bush and I really goodsong. Yep, that's it. You like I'm already scrapping mega super thanksgivingand mega super mask on song and Bush. You are not. You weren't realreceptive to it. So I don't know. Well, I I guesssome more bad news for you. What's that? Ye aint getting paid.Damn it, but you are more than welcome to come over to my padand Cook for Supermiga. Thanksgiving Tis the season to be thankful for what yougot, but, Gosh Darnet, toby, there are few things that can takea person off and make it, quite frankly, unthankful. Oh Yeah, Oh yeah, you sound really surprised. Oh yeah, I just couldn't seeyou. You're not bitter at all and not angry at stuff. Don'tpretend like you fucking know me, Obie, but listen, you know it's notreally popular now because if you go in social media and stuff, everybodysays, you know, don't be negative, be happy, be joyous, runaround with fucking rainbows coming out of your fucking eye sockets. And Iget I want to be a happy person. But you know what, you're coveringup the truth, that's what you're doing, because, no matter whoyou are or how great your life is, how much money you got, someshit you can't fucking stand. So with Thanksgiving we're supposed to stop,eat, gorge ourselves and give thanks. I'm doing the opposite here, Obie. I want to know what are you not thankful for? Oh, notthankful for but open up that can of worms like a can of cranberry sauce. My friend I recently went through a...

...divorce, so I'm not thankful forthat. HMM, that's that's pretty rough. I'm not very thing ful for bills. I mean they come every month and you got to pay them.It sucks. Uh Huh. Oh, the winter. I'm not thankful forwinter. I hate winter more than anything. I will take hundred degree whether insummer, all day long, over freezing temperatures. I hate it.Can I stop you right there for a second? Yeah, because since weare both Texanites or Texaners, what do you guys call yourselves? Texans?Texans, sex, texting people? Yeah, I don't know the fuck I'm talkingabout, but that's commonplace. But still, it doesn't get that coldhere. See, and that's the problem. Is that still too cold for me? Okay, I can't, I can't. I can't take it likeI this is as far north as I will ever go. I don't know. There's no way I could ever move up further north where it's real coldlike this. It's it's just bad. I can't do it. Like myknees, they hurt in the cold. And I don't know, it's justnot fun. And then, and then I'm fat already. So then yougot to put on a big thick jacket and then you're like even the biggermarshmallowed. No, your blubber supposed to cover you up. But let's putthis in context at so people can understand. When you're saying cold, you sayingwhat? Thirty Degrees Fahrenheit? Yes, that's anything. You know what?If it's below forty, I'm done, I do not want it. Well, see when you let off for the whole weather thing. By theway, I guess the two worst things you can ever talk about a politicsand weather. Yeah, I know everybody's went click, fuck you, sellingout show. I'm exercising my right to shut you off. But Anyway,the thing is, you made it sound like it was freezing temperatures. Itsaid below freezing. Thirty twenty five degrees. That is nowhere near below freezing.This is not fucking Alaska, Dude. Let me ask you, since sinceyou've you've been in Texas for a little while, have you? Haveyou? You've been in Texas for one winter at least, right where schoolsand work shuts down, with just a snowflake. We didn't even get asingle snowflake last year in Dallas, in the Dallas area, so nothing wentto Shit is for Os. Okay that, but you live farther north. Youlive up by Oklahoma, right. Yeah, I'm am about an hourand a half north of you, I guess. But yeah, if weget just a snowflake or a little bit of icy roads, schools will shutdown. Nothing is open for a week. It's ridiculous. It's like an apocalypse. That is terrible. I can't imagine it. I can't fathom it. Again, not to keep beating that fucking dead horse, but being fromNew England, Snow is the Shit, man. You know, I'm gladI never have to see it again. Never have to shovel it. Never. It'd be nice to see it maybe once, like through the window,but not have to deal with it. But still, the way that peoplereact here when it gets cold, it's laughable. Folks. I'm still wearingshorts, man. Yeah, let's you have never shoveled snow in my entirelife. I've never seen a snow plow or anything. You Pussy. Thatshould be the new reality show is set of like wife swap or survivor,you know, putting people in extreme conditions. Find someone from a warm climate andjust chuck them right in the fucking middle of winter for like two months, like hey, welcome to Minnesota, motherfucker. BLOOP and there you goright yet. Nope, no, I couldn't do it. What if there'sa prize attached, like a still wouldn't do it. There's I just hatethe cold that month. People do anything for money. That's how I gotthat clown in your fucking clote. You think he's doing that for free?I could have. I don't want to know what you did to get thatclown on my glasses. Watch you muchy. No, but, dude, everybody'sgot their price. You'd say, all right, well, here's amillion dollars. Go fucking living in an IGLOO for two months. I don'tdo that. No, I can't sleep when it's cold. I need heat. I need lots and lots of heat. Dude, there's no sum of moneythat we convince you. I mean everybody's got their price, man,everybody. It has to be a lot of money. And and like wedidn't. Yeah, got the term. I just said. A million fuckingdollars due and I say months. How comfortable can I be? You havelike your blink it. No, no, I let your like the fuck outof here. I just told you a million bucks. First, Iwent from a hundred grand to a million, and I'm like, yeah, twomonths. You like, nobody tells me nothing, so I can't tellyou would straight it answer. I guess fucking told you. Okay, yeah, two months. No, I can't do it. That's that's too miserableon my my body. Know your body so precious. Huh? It is? It's a it's a fat temple. Fuck going to say it's a temple? Yeah, you just call it a fat temple, you said from havingto say, yeah, this is fucking worshiped meat bag. Yeah, thatmust be protected from frost bite at any cost. Yes, well, Hey, you know, I think on the grand scale of things, we talkedto the long time about the weather here.

Yeah, maybe too much. I'msorry about that. It's not your fault because you had some some legitimateshit to be unthankful for. But then hey, whether we're just easier totalk about, I suppose, and anything else. It's just a natural flowof things. Right. Well, put, are you unthankful for nothing. I'ma happy person. I'm always skipping around. Sometimes I even jump likethe guy, the lucky from the lucky charmers box claniels. CLICKIE, yeah, Clicky, Clicky, yeah, I'm so happy. Motherfucker, as aterrible cartoon Leper convoice, I just did there. Yeah, you might needto work on that a little bit. It's okay for now. Yeah,well, whatever, whatever, but yeah, I don't know. I think whatbothers me more than anything on the face of the Earth is lines.I hate lines. I can't tolerate them. If I go to a restaurant andthey say, Oh, sir, there's going to be a twenty minutewait, I'm out. I'm I'm going to someplace with with maybe I didn'tprefer to go to with lesser quality food stuffs because there's no light. Yeah, lines are miserable. They are fucking miserable. I hate lines, asyou can tell. Any put a lot of preparation into how I was goingto response. I didn't know if you're going to ask me. It's weirdlike on the on the unthankful scale. How do you wait things? Somepeople are angry that people are mean to them. Or their boss won't givethem a raise. I don't really have any of those problems. I don't. Those don't really affect me. But yet again, if I wait ina line I start fucking fuming. And you know, the kids, kidsbother me too, the damn kids, because I used to think I wasgoing to be that guy who hit forty and I'm fucking cool man. Igot fucking street cred like you wouldn't fucking believe, and now I don't understandthem, I don't get them. See, I'm too big of a kid myselfwhen I when I'm hanging out with my kids. So we just were. We get real nerdy and I'm okay with kids. Kids are fine,but I know they can be frustrating. They can be very frustrating. Wellsnot even that's not even their behavior. I'm just saying the stuff they're into. You know, they comes a point in life whe say, if themusic is too loud, you're too old. Oh yeah, no, it's thethe sayings that get me. What I hate more than anything when peoplesay I'm very unthankful. Let me put it this way. I'm very unthankfulfor when people say, like the hip stuff like I haven't seen you ina minute. Uh Huh. I hate that one so much. So ironicallysay it to people, and you do. I will every once in a while, but I try to say it as sarcastic as humanly possible so itmy point gets across. But then I sound like an old geezer trying touse cool hip lingo. Get it as Oh, fass, that's what.Yeah, and just just some of the now I know like my parents evenwere, you know, with my lingo and stuff that I had when Iwas a kid. They were like what does that mean, you know,and I'm just I'm old enough to where I'm like, I don't understand thesewords that these kids are saying, like that is lit, that's lit.Huh. Well, let's try to use these in a sentence. So ifI went APSU and I'm like Hey toapster, been quite a while since I seenyou. How you been so so, like, the hipster would probably saylike I ain't seen you in a minute. Dog would. But howwould you say? Can you said you use it. Say. That's exactlywhat I'd probably say, even throwing the dog. Yeah, just to bereally, really ironic, use son of a bitch, just terrible. Iknow I'm an awful human being. You are. This is terrible. Ican't believe you. You you like. I hate it, but I useit. I mean, I guess I can understand. You're adapting to thetimes, trying to be hip. I gotta being to be here, tobe cool for the kid you got. It ain't all about fucking Hula hoops, Nintendo no more, and know the way you talk and the way youspeak, but I mean even music. They got these in me, andnative talked about this in past episodes. Mumble rappers are things I don't Idon't understand and I've never heard her music. But there's this celebrity. Her name'sbilly ellish, Ilish, but my eyelish showcase. Well, they don'tknow. I don't even know either. I just saw a picture of itand I went she looks doped out of her fucking Gord. Yeah, theyall kind of do nowadays. I don't get it. I'm I don't understandhow this is like the new thing. I started to try to relate itto when I was a teenager and skinny chic was a thing from models withlike Kate Moss they're like, oh my God, these girls look like they'reare on heroin, and I'm like the girls now with this look, oreven that, not even the girls, anybody with his style. It lookslike they died of heroin and they were resurrected by like some kind of weirdmummy spell or something and now they're performing on a stage somewhere. Is Terrible. Well, it's either that or they're so colorful and with face tattoos andeverything, like my little one. He's ten and he's Tattoo. No,but he will draw that. What is that? rappers named six nine orwhatever, the one that went to jail...

...for snitching. He's got face tattoosand one day he brought me a piece of paper and he's like look,I drew six nine, and I was like, first off, what doesthe six nine and why are you talking about six nine? And then heshowed me the picture and it's a rapper with rainbow colored hair and Rainbow Grilland face tattoos, and I was just like, I don't know about that. I don't like all that. Wow, but that's how I knew I becamean old man when I was like, I don't agree this has become thegetoff my lawn segment. I know in that terrible well that that's whatpartially what bugs me is I can't relate anymore, and that was something thatI thought I'd always be able to do. I never thought I would lose theability to kind of, you know, bridge the gap between generations and againrelate it to my era and go, okay, well, this is Ican understand this because it is similar to that right. But it's nothappening anymore. The disconnect has finally occurred and I feel like an old turtybastard. Oh my God, I am stuffed. This has been quite theepisode, quite filling really. We've had all the fixings and the main meal, the main dish, or is fancy folks like to call it the maincourse. If you enjoyed the show, you know what. Reach out tous. Let us know about it. It's the easy way to do it. Find us on any of our socials. At selling out show. We're onthe INSTAGRAM because we're hipping with it. We're on twitter, oh, onfacebook, which I personally cannot stand. I mentioned it every fucking chance Iget. It's actually at selling out show one, because I tried toset it up and because I do in fact hate the facebook, I fuckedup. But anywhere. You can also send us an email. Selling outshow at GMAILCOM toabster. I'm so happy. It's been such a long time sincewe talked. It's been a been a minute. Damn it. Youyeah, I'd been a minute. This was it was lit being on theshow tonight, so I'm real happy about that. Oh Baby, yeah,it was, but I appreciate you coming on and filling in. Thank youso much for teaching me the lingo. Spending this Thanksgiving centric. I don'tknow if I want to call it a Thanksgiving special or just themed. Mytaste with me. You can you can call it super thanksgiving, super megaselling out show Thanksgiving style. So the other thing we did invent. Weneed a dance. We need to Thanksgiving dance, like, Oh yeah,I definitely the Turkey do the Turkey dance, you know. But anyway, it'sstill I want to thank you. I truly do enjoy talking to youvery, very much and it's been far too long, my friend. Whetherit be a minute or a thousand minutes or days or months or whatever thefuck they want to call it. But still, you get my you getmy drift, don't you? Daddy? Oh, I I do, coolcat. I don't know, all right, I'm not very hip with all this. Yeah, well, but no, it was. It was my pleasure. Like you know, it has been a while since we've got tohang out and talk, so it's good to talk about food, to bigboys talking about food. Come on, yeah, now, let people knowwhere they can find find you. You know where they can they find yourshows. Well, if you want to hear conspiracies and supernatural with a satireoutlook, go check out my show, secret transmission podcast. It's on everything, itunes, stitchers, spotify. I heart radio. Just look up secrettransmission podcast. Now, if you like Retro Video Games, me and mycohost we review and rate one retro video game per episode. We go overthe history the gameplay some fun facts and then we rate it at the end. And that's secret levels. And again it's also on all the major podcastingplatforms. So, but you can follow our shows on twitter and instagram atsecret transpod and secret at secret levels pod. So follow both of them. They'rekind of fun. Hey, I do. I follow them. Youdo follow them. You see that you you like everything and you you showsome love and I appreciate that. And you know what, more people shoulddo the same. And you know how you can do that. If youlike a show, if you don't like a show, it doesn't fucking matter. write an email or rate and review on itunes. It goes a longway to help a show grow, and I wouldn't mind it if you askedme a review. We either a just not trying to self promote here,nothing but do it. Hell Yeah. On that note, I want tothank each and every one of you for tuning in. I truly love allof you. I mean really, you're all invited over for Thanksgiving, notsaying I'm going to feed you, that might be too costly, but sothey can come over and watch me eat. Virtual hugs for all of you.I am Dave. That is totally filling in for date, and thishas been selling out infirmary media. Hey,...

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