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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 40 · 2 years ago

Ep.#40 Jive Turkey

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

We've cooked up a buffet of buffoonery with all the fixings! Dave is joined by guest host Toby to talk living in Texas (3:50), play a hilarious game of Jive Turkey Trivia (7:29), a belly busting brainstorming session on how to make Thanksgiving more marketable (18:43), plus what NOT to be thankful for this holiday season (33:19). This show is guaranteed to be more fun than a can of cranberry sauce spilling all over your creepy uncle who flew in from Cleveland. Click play and have a few laughs on us. Don't worry, we'll tidy up.

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This is no ordinary subshop. This isfirehouse ups, tired of overpriced lunches that underdeliver on flavor head to firehouse ups, where for a limited time you can get afour ninety nine choice of choose from a medium smoke, Turkey, VirginiaHoneyham or roast beef. Their custom made hot subs and are price ready madeto make you smile just four. Ninety nine, only at firehouse sups enjoy moresubs, save more lives, participating locations plus tax on e time, offelpresens Maar for delivery. Infirmarymedia. You were now tinothe selling out oest. What it does is reaches into a brainchemically and no Kat your happiest memory, chemically oin blocks on thatemotion, pleased it chemically, and then it keeps yer happy, Happyhello,hello, hello and welcome to the selling out show. I am one of your host Davidshelts and by my side, is not my partner in crime nates. No,unfortunately, he is sick, he's actually in the hospital right now. Soit's it's. I can't say too much, I'm sure when he returns, he will fill youall in, but definitely send good vibes his way. Luckily enough, I have anothergood pall of mine sitting in I am joined by Toby Schofield of the secrettransmission and secret levels, podcast toby, thank you for coming here andevery one of your pod, castars wit secret. So what do you have to hide man? I don't know exactly it's just agimmick that ex accidentally carried over into all my shows, and I don'tknow it's it's a long story of why everything's such a secret. I guess I want to thank you for being here. Ithink I thank you already. So that's two thank Yous, but you know what I'min the mood, I'm in the spirit, because it's Thanksgiving yet thanksgivinghappens to me my favorite holiday, real, really that is whyiokay. Thank you forasking me. I'm not going to keep this a secret its because I am a fat fuck andI love to eat and I hat O ponsibility. You see now yeah think about it.Christmas right. You got to go places. You GETTA buy people's Shit. You knowit's just a lot of work. It's a LOT OF HASSLE! Fourth of July fireworks,HOOPLA, Yadi Yadyao! All this fucking grandios bullshit right they're, givingno. I don't have to deal with any of this. No wrapping, no gladhanding oranything like that. IJUST have to show up, eat sleep and then maybe get up andeat again. That's about it. Elland, then all the sales AL sales. Are you a black, Fried Ay guy? No, no!Actually, I'm the kind of person that waits until like Friday afternoon wheneverything's been picked over and I go see, what's left you buzzard yeah, butsome of Er ov, a Buzzorawkan, scabvager, yeah I'll, never do black Friday. I didthat once when I was a younger person, I think thats a young person's game.Actually, if you ask me who's actually going to wake up early and go fuck andtry to buy a Shitty TV for a great price, because that's what it is yousee I wish I could be like that, but I'm so lazy that I'm, like I don't knowI'll pay the extra four hundred dollars for the t V. I don't I don't care, Idon't have to fight the crowds and I get to sleep in well now they let youdo most of it online. There's a lot of that. Oh you can shop black Friday,starting now at wally world, just fucking go online and your UN to pantsand buy a Roku yeah trying to target us to trying to targetthose fat lazy. Fucks like we are that's what they're trying to do thatthey realized they missed out on our market right. Well, I'm glad I'm gladbecause h again, I don't have to leave the house and I can get some good dealsand then I'll go buzzard over what's left at the stores, may you go ad a boyand you happen to live in Texas? Yes, which amate you are texbut you're Li,El Youre, Lifelong Texan. Are you from here? I was born and raised right herein the great state of Texas was with that great state stuff? Where did thatcome o? You know what I really don't I don't I don't. I mean I've got, I guessa little bit of Texas pride, but I don't have it as hardcore as the RealTexans. You know, Texans love slogans come and take it don't mess the text Yeh. What's longstar, state yeah, I don't know we we've Bette stars hat night are bigand Bri Imean Wev got. We got a bunch of Goofy Texas T. I don't get any of 'em, youknow what I mean. It's the whole comm and takeit thing to me. I always sayEcause, I'm from Massachusetts.

Originally now I live here, but inMassachusetts we'd say: Well, you can take it borrow it just bring it backwhen you're done, Texas had heavy hostile come at FulkerTurkert come on. It's like this seems to be Mexico. Whatdo you mean come and take it? You know again, I don't. I don't get the the bigTEXES PR. I don't understand the the state pride or or the town pride really'cause like it. It wasn't my choice to be born here. It just happened. Soshould I be real super prodful of it? I don't know it's weird. Well, you know.I I I understand when people are happy or where they're from or whatever and Iget it, I can support that to a certain degree, but Texas takes it to a wholefucking new level. It's just basically fuckyall where fromTexas, where the best ye ha and all that good. She yeah. I'm surprised you guys letTurkeys in Texas, speaking of Thanksgiving O, we man T at, is love tohunt, that's the other things, yeah everyonehis. In fact a funny story. I H for my work. I I work in the woolfieldand ie ruined some guys hunting this morning by pulling up real early to gocheck some of the wells, and I could just see hem glaring at me throughtheir deer blond, and I was like sorry man, I'm just doing my job dild. He gouse Semite, Sam on you and try to follow you aroundo and maybe shoot youin the ass. I did get a little bit nervous 'cause I was like. Oh, I don'tknow if these red necks are going to be ticked off at me or not. So I'm goingto do my job get out of here as quickly as possible and avoid any kind ofconfrortation with these guys. Oh that was that's pretty wise actually, but about your fucking lous, each o thatSAS terrible it is that soing a horrible position tohave. I hope it pays well. So that means no. It's good enough!Yeah! Okay, it's good enough that you could have a redneck fucking, shooting a Pele gun booking ass. That'sgood enough for me, making fucking seventy five an hour, a but again wearehere to talk thanksgiving, because I say we because that's what I want totalk about, and I also love to play games. Do you like games? I love game.Is I what's your favorite game like video game or I I know you hostthe video game potcast, so I wasn't going there. I was thinking more likeshoots and ladders ooh see I'm a monopoly guy. I always sit there andplay monopoly till the very end and I'm hardcore about it and everyone'll. BeLike Dude, let's just call it quits we've been sitting here for four hours.No, I need all the money or this isn't going to end well. The Game I haveprepared for you today is not monopoly, not even lucking close, so you're notgoing to have an yeah any leg up on this okay, but it's more like a gameshow if you will so let me go over here. A D grab my really long pencilmicrophone, my plaid jacket, let me put that on and if you are ready, sir, wecan rock and roll. I am ready. It's now time for America, sleep,favorite game show o tragic Thanksgiving tradition batder than Ican acosh rap, O trunken uncle, taking ready to pay along withallright toby.This is JI. Turkey, there's going to be four questions for you here, okay, soyou have a chance to break even, but all the questions will be relating toyou guessed it thanksgiving. Are you now ready to play? Drive Turkey? I amso ready to Play Jab Turkey jeans are getting tight. Thinking about thisright. Don' YOU QUESTION NUMBER ONE! Well, we all know Black Friday whipsail starve soccer moms into a frenzy the day after Thanksgiving whichindustry shows the biggest spike in sails the day, Bepor the holiday, abakery B bar for c condom, O like like multiple choice for you, too yeah. No,that that helps why I yeah I I feel like there's going to be a trick. Tothis I mean bakery seems like the most obvious mhm but yeah. Let's just go with bakery EI lauhyeah, but I feel like you're you're tricking me so bake okay, wait hold onfor a second, you feel, like I'm tricking you, which way, would you goif you felt like it wasn't a trick? What was be again? Okay, so the theoptions were a bakery B, bar or c condom see. Okay, I would go with t eBar like we're talking like alcohol right. Yes, yes, when I sa in bar andjust make a conde Yesm, I feel like that, because people are lonely and everyone's goingout to see family and some people can't...

...go see family or whatever the case maybe. So that would be my backup as B, but I I think, Bakeryeis Goinna, Idon't know you. Okay, just youre in have to tell me okay, so you'resticking with bakery bakery yeah. Okay, you should have went with your back upbecause the correct answer is bar MN, for the reasons that you thoughttoo people go and they they go home. Maybe t e. like me, they're transplants,they live somewhere else and they go when they visit their friends from highschool. What have you or again, maybe just lonely pieces of shit that needssomething to do and they hit the fucking bar, So yeh you suck? I was. I was on the right track. I justI knew that that was going to be tricky. I shouldn't aveever led you in theweeds that was the PROB, as my failure is a host out of the podcast but of thegame show here I shouldhave never said. Are you sure think Aboui'm not going todo that again that as your your only Freebie and Youre fucked it up Tingoaalright number two? It's now normal for the president, tof playfully pardona Turkey from the chopping block, but under which commander in chief did thepractice become an official tradition, a Whitmore B, Hw Bush or a C Kovek oI'm going to go with be Bush 'cause. I don't feel like that's. I don't know Id 'T. I don't really know how long that tradition's been around MHM AI, justwink, it would be. Let's let's go nd be, are correct. Yeah. It was George H, wBush in ninetneen ND. Eighty nine. There were other presidents before himthat would set free a Turkey partner T I believe it migh even started withNixon, because one of his kids was sad to see a Turkey slaughtered forThanksgiving. But you know what, beyond all this there was. There was actuallya trick to this question because whitmore and Covic were not actualpresidents, Picwai O right right. You Man't soundlike it was tough you're like Oh Jeez, I don't know well, I didn't know who the the thirdone was at all and I was like. Maybe maybe I just don't know all mypresidents, that's why I did this to Yo. That's whyI tried to fuck you up because most people- don't I don't even but I I washoping you might have guessed one because of both movie presidentsWhitmore was the president from independent is day pay by Bill. POLMANand Kovik was, from the Movie Day this movie ro and Nineutned, and ninetyOrman dot know why you've seen this movie right, where he he looks like thespitting image of the president, an Gesin place, O cegoany weaver ends uppulling in love with him, spoil Er alert, so that was Dade Kovick. Thebest part of that movie is when they're reading the little book and they'relike Dave, has no they're talking about like the parts that he's messing fromthe little book. I don't know it's, that's the only part of the movie. Ireally remember yeah that part fucking sucked, okay, so next question this isgoing to be the hot air round. Oh Man, yrready, yes, which character has madethe most appearances as a balloon at the annual mases Thanksgiving Dayparade b before you give me the answers, my first thought would be snoopy reallywell. I want to hear the you're going to change the answers on me and putsnoopy in one of them now, if that's nothing, I might do that. Well, see Iam a tricky tricky cash. I said I shouldn't have said anything. Okay, youknow, wh t e ING wearing all this game show host garbbb am feeling a littlerand yeah a little frisky if you will and how can I not I'm all Gean Rabern,all over the fucking place, so Mickey Mouse B, snoopy man or se,Alfred e Newman. I don't know what an Alfred he knew in all get the fluckAdty, but Mickey Mouse and snoopy ten thatone's that Wass tough. So I think I'm going to go with snoopy and you wouldbe correct. Sir, is snoopy. I think it's so weird. You knew that ahead oftime. How did you get that inclination? I'm a huge peanuts fan. I've got. Icollect a bunch of peanut stuff. I I just wasn't real sure, but that's theone that I always remember seeing all the the parades. Yes snoopy,prermeerein n nine teen sixty eight and has had thirty nine appearances off andon until two thousand and fifteen wh. He was replaced by Charlie Motherfucking brow. Oh that's lame yeah, it was snoopy's the heart and the soul.You think so yon a lazy dog tsist on top of his Bucken Doghouse, Hey, that'sthe life man, that's the Li. I get a problem with peanuts, so Awell, becausemy last name is Shulz, the Guy Who r his name is Charles shols.So I gess is confuse even though he is missing the tea and the t is the mostimportant thing and anybody O me. No, I goin to Teayou my name Yoo. I ot not ob good point good point. An alpady newmanis a mascot from mad magazine, Oh okay,...

...okay, so yeah, I'm very disappointed.You didn't know that at the time I brought up his name. You know, okay. Solet's look at this you right now. You have two correct one. Incorrect thisfile question can either make you or break you you're going Ta hit fiftypercent or seventy five percent Bhut. You can technically consider a whip.Okay, are you ready for the final question? I don't know this is thitseems like a big deal like it's. It's Co, you take it all home or or leave itall behind. It's fucking massive, because I actually have a clown hidingin your closet right now with a frying Pan Y. Ah, and if you get this wrong,he's going to buck and jump out and just dash you right in the buckand nosewith it. Now, if I get it right, will he make me some scrambled legs or sohe's going to make love to you? Gently itseems like a lose, lose either way,but let's go no. My friend you've never been made Lov to by a clown aftermidnight actual kender moment. Okay enough about that at I see privatebusiness final question, wile ifs believe the pilgrims and the nativeAmericans had their First Harvest in sixteen twenty one which led to inspirethanksgiving historians suspect Turkey was not on the menu which of thefollowing food items, was e Buffalo, b, skittles or ASEA. Lobster I meanBufpalo e wrong, really Bock bring out the cloud non. The answer Wat skinnls. I am sorryH, sucks to be you you're, not going to say anything. It's O Yghel, I'm waiting for the joke, or I got noneof those, not my my forsay. It's not my special. It's actually lobster. I can'tbelieve that. Well, listen. The first harvest was held in Massachusetts, soThebele Sea bood was a large cart of the harvest. I see seethen Yeahwell,you know what you hit fifty percent. You got two right too wrong. I reallyshould have thought this sound a little bit better and made it five yeah Hogoinae had to walk off. You know the fucking call your shot d be like thisis the one. If I get this one this is it yeah? I just I. If this was, whowants to be a millionaire rules that would have lost on the first question,so you know well, you could have done a lifeline or something, but we don't. Wedon't allow that here you don, allow assistance from from outside sources,you're you're, all on your own, which is kind of a lie, because I did helpyou with that person. Yeu Did help me and I still missed it. This is true rue toby. Thank you. So much forplaying you're. Officially the crappiest game show contestants of alltime. I'd like to take a break from thisbuffet, a bucfoonery to thank the show sponsors. These companies put out highquality products that I'm fond of and fuel the podcast that I present to youtoday. First Up we have northland vapor a one stop shop for all of your vapingsupplies. Their e UICES are dyketoned and artificial sweetener, free,allowing for a rich flavorful vape. I recommend Blue Rabs, which I'm actuallyenjoying right now and at Northland quaity doesn't need to be costly andthey still shipp t all. Fifty states visit them at Northlard, vapor, dotcomand use the code selling out nineteen for nineteen percent off your order.Next up, we have spunk Loub spok is an award winning non staining Lubrecanendoors by a bevia professionals in the adult film industry, but why let themhave all the fun you can spice up your sex life today at spunk Loub, Dot Com.Last but not least, big thanks to Alpine hemp, the CBD Revolution hasarrived and there's no better place to stock up on pure organic CBD. ProductsThan Alpinehamp dotcom right now. Alpine is having a fantastic fall, giveaway for free CBD that you really should get in on, and you can savenineteen percent off the checkout by using codes selling out nineteen andremember when you shop with our partners you're supporting the showtobya common complaint amongst most Americans myself. Primarily, I supposeI'm on the front lines of this is that Christmas leap frogsThanksgiving, yeah, it's like right. You Finish Halloween and everybody'sfucking talking about Christmas Christmas Christmas. Why doesn'tThanksgiving get its props? I mentioned at the beginning of the show. It is myfavorite holiday, so you know what Avs Man, let me enjoy it and relax beforeyou bombarrd me with basically a fat guy in a red suit, telling me to buyshit right yeah. You know I was already seeing at thebeginning of the of November. I was...

...seeing people drive around with likethe ailers and their alos, and I was like man. That's too early. It's waytoo early. We both got kids, so you know what you kind of get grip withChristmas fever. I think earlier as a parent, because it's infectious RGMAGICis there with your kids that you don't have anymore. You know,but it is a little intoxicating exciting to think Christmas is comingYe. All that being sad, I still don't want to have this holiday jammed up mymy Patuti right, my ha. Does it make you sick when people start puttingChristmas lights up like the day after Halloween and you're like wait a minute?No, we were just all spooky and now you're, all red and green on your Housethat doesn't bother me 'cause. I can only imagine the electric bills they'regetting as used. Suckers Tommy is come on now. You know, so I look at it morerealistically. I suppose, for me, it's more again the commercials and thingslike that or you walk into department, store and they'veimmediately torn down the Halloween section and thrown up the Christmassection. They've got just like a half a Nile ofThanksgiving stuff, some some fall colors and Tlia. Hey it's like buy thisBela, hey yeah. I have a fucking horse. Why would I need to buy a Bala Hey giveme some paper plates with Turkeys on him or something yeah anyway. This allleaves me to ask you 'cause. This is what the whole show is going to beabout me. Asking you stuff, hi! Need Your your input on this allright put ona suit. Okay, hold home, your hair, okay, 'cause! I know you got thosethose long blonde locks e. It goes back Spitshi and whatever you're Gong to do.You are now an ad executive. Oh and I have hired you to rebrand Thanksgivingto make it more appealing to people to hopefully give it that glimmer andshine they might make it stand up, if not completely at first, but eventuallyto that mighty holiday known as Christmas. So with that task, how wouldyou do that? How would you remarket it to people repacgage it to people toshow the importance of Thanksgiving hm well? First off we would keep regularThanksgiving and then the following. Like Tuesday, we would have superthanksgiving super that what yeah yeah well explain. How does this work? Well,I mean do: Do you want to eat big meal, a big meal? Again, that's H, I'm sayinglike make it exciting, like Oh yeah, we're going to eat this big meal onFriday, we're going to shop and then, like Monday or Tuesday, we're eatinganother big meal. Super Thanksgiving, okay, Um! Let me SAThis to you. It essentially already exists without the name right now he'swe're eating leftovers. Yeah Yea h Le th, your good for like throughthroughout the weekend, but then we're going to have another fresh Turkey,we're going to have we're goint have more and it's just going to be superlike we're really just going to top off and buster buttons on her pants wowsuper thanksgiving, you're really going to fuck over whoever cooks in yourhousehold say you just did this goit all over agaim I was going to besuper expectations are very high. Yes, it's!So it's the better one and- and you know what you know- accidents happen inthe kitchen. What if you burn something you get a second shot see so whensomeonewas like? Oh, you know, the stuffhing wasn't as good as it was lastyear right. A No worries in a couple of days, you'll get another shot. You rudeson of a bitch you'd actually say that to someone Oo, no, no, but I mean ifthey, if they were feeling bad about it, you'd be like. Ah, no it's good, butyou know y. You can try again and a O as Beter you culd fuck, and do itbetter youknow. You Coal, do it better get back in there. Okay super is verymarketable. I mean Cmei the Subernintendo. I can't think ofanything else super, but that's the first thing they everansoer man, you gosupermarket. Yes, SE Super Du supercells on its own okay, so superwe's, GOINGTO, HEAV, super and AD. A second is that all you have as far asuh package and Thas, this bad boy up foreverybody or Oky. Okay, Thanksgiving needs a mascot. I mean the Turkey likeyeah. We got the Turkey, but we need like especially for super thanksgiving.We need Super Turkey, see he's coming to save the second thanksgiving. Allright, if you hit me with another super, ispart of your your idea palate. Here, I'm disappointed in you, you hired me,I'm the supermorketing guy fire, you you remember that so, Oh yeah, butreally it needs it needs to mascoit. You know O Masco Allright, all right.So h. What was what was the mask cot...

...again, an alligator, superhality yeah? Why not? I don't I don't know what else youcould do yeah, but what was the mascot? What wasit going to be? Did you tell me- and I glossed I said I said- Super Turkey,like Oh th, at's, SOS still a fucking Turkey, supergobble yeah, but likeSanna, there's he's got a name. He has a personality. We just have genericTurkey right now. We need a Turkey with with some SASS. Okay, I know Sass isgood. I like SASS. I Love Sas, I'm just using like marketing words to try tolike to to get a buzz out of you like super and Sass. Well, let me inform youiam not buzzing right now. Okay, I'm Tryingand, not buzzing me at all.There's no dinting! There's! No! Nothing! There's! No, not even a slightvibration! So this you, you have more Hello MegaMega Mokay. I think Megais, actually better than super okay, we'll go withMega thanksgiving. Okay e Mega Turkey Na see that just sounds like shit nownow, enow, okay, see now we got to think on that 'cause. Now it's like aGodzilla. Looking Turkey Mascot who's there to save Thanksgiving from othergiant, terrible monsters. Okay, so on have like a whole Kaiju thing going onwhere yes, okay and t n every year we get. We geta new Mega Turkey movie to go along with the holidays. It's perfect, themovie's, a good idea, yeah like little avson hero lets, have a Turkey as afucking action, hero, Inol, Schwrsenege style. You know now my action herostereotypes are from the eighties, so I was going to say like a Rambo version.I I like to see a Turkey with like the red tied off a headband, and you know whatI say: We get Arnold to voice the Turkey there. You Go, I'm pretty much.A A marketing expert, now he's going to need ta catch phrase, so you might wantto go back to your drawing board and think of one of those. You know likeevery great eighties action hero had one where thers P, Kae, mother, fuckeryeah, or something like that. You got to think what would a Turkey say mm stuff, you you kno there. It is that'sonold right there. I don't Buti love it. So what else is that itdo you have any more in your little portfolio there for me or we need. Weneed a good Thanksgiving song. That is a great idea. I am so on bored with youin regards to that, because Christmas is just songs, Galore yeah did you knowthat Jinglebells was actually originally a Thanksgiving song. Wo istrue, absolutely true. They converted it into a Christmas song years later,so Thanksgiving technically had a song and Christmas stole it. Wow tht a wee In't, I gringe Y. exactly,but what Song would you choose? Oh mm, tough one right, you weren't preparedfor that? No, no! No, no can be anything. It's just it's hard, because Christmashas songs that we've heard for years and years that just seem classic forChristmas. So H! Think of it like this. Okay, I would propose don't try to think of anythingoriginal, don't sit there like fucking, bing, crosby or something trying towhip out the next big Thanksgiving song, rather less adapt another song thatalready exists, and the easiest way to do that is think of the songsthroughout your lifetime. There were just the easiest to make up words forif you didn't really know the lyrics to begin with, you know what I mean. Then this actually got me thinking now.You know the Blue Oyster cult. Yes, remember that Song Hoy have the fear ofthe reaper. Yes ofr, the REPA D, I'm not going to sing the whole thing. Thisisn't a Karaoke show, but if you stop a and consider that for a moment youcould make up any words you wanted that song. The beginning is something likethe Oh. The time has come right see. I don't. I don't think I know any of thewords, but I can I can humm it ex. So, okay, that's the point. You know theMelody Right, you know se cu say grabbe, you bum and you wouldnt know thedifference exactly. Okay, I like it, that's what I think we should do with aThanksgiving song and then it's going to be an automatic hit because it wasalready a proven winter before it was a Tryin topper right, so we'rein we just change the words around to what we see fit, hopefully applying toturkeys and stuffing at cranbery, sauce and drunken uncles, probably sayingraces, shit, t the fucking dinner table and you got yourself a fucking Nicitldid he there now see I'm already the gears are R are trying to a little bit...

...feeling under pressure just becauseit's also you know it's got the Vanelaie isize baby, it's alreadyreally really recognizable. But how do we get a Turkey song out ofthat o just said, the under pressure has the ICEIZE Babl. No, no I meaniecize baby has the under pressure yeah, that's what I meant basy Li come on. IN! Yes. Indeed, I was backwards a little bit, but you knew where I wasgoing. It's it's something that's already recognizable on two differentfronts. So we've got that going for us on this one. We just need some. We a have to putthis to a boat somewhere, yeah, totally see which one is more adaptable. Youknow te of no and what this Turkey's about, like I saucand grandma she's got cou right under pressure right. There,Bloombo boom be baboom boom. They put some goble gobbles in there, which wtis already fall of anyway. They can borrow some goble gobbles from me. Ilike it AAT. I I like this. You know what all your other shit was. IndeedShit. It was no good, but but you hit me Werh the music bit. I Ilike that a lot. I think, that's a Keepe, I think Gnto go, we Ganto gowith the music stuff and I think we really collaborated very well on that. Personally, I don't know I might feel.Am I getting paid now who well? What wo is that all you had yeah I mean I, II'm I'm. I'm spend okay great because y? U, like I ended on a high note, I'm outmy yeahmon. You drop my ine and walk away. Well, there's one one littletidbit, I'm a little disappointed. You didn't bring up in your presentation tome and I was thinking Wass t one of the most iconic things about Christmas. The tree, oh Wimin, yeah, see everybodygoes out. They buy the tree. You decorate the tree, the whole family, sowe need something like that for Thanksgiving. So how about like Turkey Bush a Turkey Bush? I know itsounds dirty. It sounds very, very dirty. It's probably an urbandictionary. The Turkey boad. I hope so I'm going to invent thattonight and Watch Oun. Ladies Youre right come you're going to get TurkeyBush you're right because you know Halloween, you get the Pumpkin, youcan't. You can't do Li atfall stuff for F. You can't do the Pumpkin I mean youcan but, and then Christmas has the tree in needs something really I e youcan't just make it. You can't. I mean Turkey obviously, but you needsomething that sits there on the porch to say Lisen here it's it's friagingThanksgiving Porch, I'm bringing that mother Fucker Inside O. I woul have alittle shrubbery inside my living room that has little little turkeys on itand, like advent calendar, you can pluck a Turkey all the days leading upto Thanksgiving and everybody's happy. You know s is each advent thing thatyou open up like you, get some corn and one some maidos and ther'sno opening upanything. It's just looking at Turkey from the Bush s equally dirty as TurkeyBush did to begin with Yeah Y. Unless you have anything better, that'ssomething we should probably put our RND and our design teams on yeah,immediately a Turkey Bush and and a really good song y. that's you K W,like I'm already scrapping mega super thanksgiving and mega super mascoydsong and Bush. You were not you weren't real receptive to it. So H I don't know. Well I H, I guess the more bad news for you.What's that Y AI't getting paid Damige, but you are more than welcome to comeover to my pad and Cook for Supermiga thanksgiving is the season to be thankful for whatyou got but gosh darn it toby. There are a few things that can tick a personoff and make it quite frankly unthankful. Oh Yeah, Oh yeah, you soundreally surprised. Oh yeah, I just couldn't see you you're, not bitter atall and and not angry at stuff. Don't pretend, like you fuckin know me, but listen you non't! It's not reallypopular! Now, 'cause. If you go on social media stuff, everybody says youknow, don't be negative, be happy, be joyous run round with fucking rainbowscoming out of your fucking eye sockets, and I get I wanto be a happy person,but you know what you're covering up the truth. That's what you're doing, nomatter who you are or how great your life is, how much money you got someSht! You can't buck and stand so with Thanksgiving we're supposed tostop, eat gorge ourselves and give thanks I'm doing the opposite here, obe.I want to know what are you not thankful for O, not thankful for openup that can of wormws like a can of cranbury sauce? My friend H, I recentlywent through a divorce. So ' not...

...thankful for that. That's that's! Pretty Rough Um, I'm not very thankful for bills, I meanthey come every month and you got to pay Hem. It sucks HH, H, Oh the winter.I I'm not thankful for winter. I hate winter. More than anything I will takehundred degree weathers in summer all day long over freezing temperatures. Ihate it guy. Stop you right there for a second yeah, because since we're both H,Texan, nites or Texaners, what do you guys call yoursells, Texans Thatex,Texan people yeah? I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, but that'scommonplace, but still it doesn't get that cold here see a and that's theproblem is that's still too cold for me. Okay, I C. I can't I can't take it likeI. This is as far north as I will ever go. I I don't there's no way I couldever move up further north, where it's real cold like this. It's it's just bad. I I can't do it like Mmy knees. They hurt and the cold- and I don't know it's just not fun and thenand then I'm fat already. So then, you got to put on a big, thick jacket andthen you're like even marshmallowed. No, you, your blubber, is supposed to coveryou up, but let's put this in context a so people can understand when you'resaying cold, youre saying what thirty degrees Fahrenheit. Yes anything, you know what, if it's belowforty I'm done, I do not want it well see when you let off with the wholeweather thing by the way. I guess the two worst things you can ever talkabout are politics and weather yeah, no, everybody's, Wi Click, fuckyu sellingout show I'm exercising my right to shut you off,but anyway the thing is you made it sound like it was freezing temperaturesbelow freezing thirty twenty five degrees that is nowhere near belowfreezing. This is not bucking alask. Do let me ask you sosince, you've you'vebeen in Texas for a little while have you have you you've been in Texas forone winter, at least rigt, where schools and work shuts down with just asnowflake? We didn't even get a single snowflate last year in Dallas in theDallas area. So nothing went to shit is for Okay H, but you live farther northy. u you live up by Oklahoma, right yeah, I'm I'm about a hour and a halfnorth of you. I guess. But if, if we get just a snowflake or alittle bit of icy roads, schools will shut down. Nothing is open for a week.It's ridiculous! It's like an apocalypse that is terrible. I I can'timagine I can't fathom it again not to keep beating that fucking dead horsebut being from New England snow is the Shipman you know, I'm I never have tosee it again, never have to shovel it. Never it'd be nice to see it. Maybeonce like through the window, you can not have to deal with it, but still theway that people react here when it gets cold. It's laughable, B'cause, I'mstill wearing shortz man yeah see I've, never shoveled snow. In my entire life,I've never hang a Snowplou or anything you pussy. That should be the new reality showIsndo like wife, swap or survivor. You know putting people in extremeconditions, find someone from a warm climate and just chuck 'em right in thefucking middle of winter, for, like two months like hey, welcome to Minnesotamother, Fucker Blu and the right Yeh, Nope N. I couldn't do it. What if therewas a prize attached like I still wouldn't do it there's I just hate thecold that much people do anything for money. That's how I got that clown inyour fucking climb, O doing that for free. I could. I don't want to know what youdid to get that clown in my closwatchyo mutchy no, but to everybody's got theirprice you'd say all right. Well, here's a million dollars go fucking Livin inan Iglo for two miles. Do that? No, I I can't sleep when it's cold, I need heat.I need lots and lots of heat. Do there's no summof money. That wouldconvince you. I mean everybody, a priceman everybodyit'd have to be a lot of money and like we about the term, I just send amillion loking dollars I'll ani. How wants how comfortable can I be lie? IngKid o? No, I let you like hack out of you. I just told you a million bucks.First, I went from O hundred grand to a million and I'm like yeah two months wlike nobody, tells me nothing. So I can't tell you it's stray answer:fucking, okay, yeah, two months. No, I can't do it. That's that's toomiserable on my my my body, O your body's, so precious Huh.It is it's a fat temple of Fuzer say it's a temple yeah! You just call it afat temple. You said from having to Sa Yeah. It's US fucking, worshipped meatbag hit must be protected from frostbite atany cost. Yes, you know, I I think, on the grand scalethings we talk for a long time about...

...the weather here, yeah, maybe too much,I'm sorry about that o! It's TNAT your fault, because you had some somelegitimate shit to be unthankful for, but then hey wheather, we're justeasier to talk about. I suppose and anything else. It's just a natural flowof things right w. You N Thankful for m nothing, I'm a happy person, I'm alwaysh skipping around. Sometimes I even jump like the Guy Lucky from the luckycharmersbox tels Clicky, yeah, cookie, ciki, yea, I'm so happy, mother, fuck,Ot Tas, a terrible cartoon leprocon voice. I just did there, youmight need to work on that a little, but it's okay for now, yeah! Well,whatever whatever but yeah, I don't know Um. I think what bothers me more thananything on the face of the Earth is lines I hate lines. I can't toleratehem if I go to a restaurant and they say, Oh sir, there's going to be atwenty minute, wait, I'm out AV to some place with I maybe I didn'tprefer to go to with less equality food stuff, because there's no line yeahlines are miserable. They are fucking miserable. I hate lines as you can tellitapput a lot of preparation into how I was going to respond B'cause. I didn'tknow if you're going to ask me it's weird like on t on the unthankfulscale. How do you wait thing? Some people are are angry, that people aremean to them or their boss won't give them a raise. I don't really have anyof those problems, t those don't really affect me. But yet again, if I wait in a line, Istart fucking fuming and you know the kids kids bother metoo Ledan, because I used to think I wasgoing to be that guy who hit forty and I'm fucking cool man. I got fuckingstreet cred like you wouldn't fuck and believe, and now I don't understand Hem,I don't get 'em see I'. I'm too big of a kid myself h when I, when I'm hangingout with my kids, so we just we get real nordy and H S I' okay with kids. Kids are fine, butI know they can be frustrating that can be very frustrating. Well, it's noteven that ot een, their behavior, I'm just Sain the stuff they're into youknow that comes that point in life, where you say if the music is too loud,you're too old, Oh yeah! No, it's the the sayings that get me Um W. I hate more than anything when peoplesay I'm very unthankful. Let me put it this way, I'm very unthankful for whenpeople say like the hip stuff, like I haven't seen you in a minute uhhuh. Ihate that one so much so I ironically say it to people, and you do. I will every once in a while, but I tryto say I as Sarastic as humanly possible, so my point gets across, butthen I sound like an old geezer trying to use cool, hip lingo as aassyeah justjust some of the now I know like my parents, even were you know withMidelingo and stuff that I had when I was a kid they were like. What doesthat mean? You know, and I'm just I'm old enough to where I'm like. I don'tunderstand these words that these kids are saying like that is lit. THAT'S LIT, Huh! Well,lete Hato use these in assentence. So if I went up t O it, I'm like Heytobster, been quite a while, since I've Seen Yo how you've been so so like t,the hipster would would probably say. Like I ain't seen you in a minutedowould, how would you say e Wyo saild, you use it, oh see, that's exactly whatI'd probably say, even throwing the dog yeah just to be really really ironic, yout's, just terrible. I know I'm anawful human being you are. This is terrible. I can't believe y you, you e,like I hate it, but I use it. I mean I guess I can understand you're adaptingto the times trying to be hip. I go is going to be head to be Col for the kidyou go t ain't all about fucking, Hula hoops, Nintendo, no more. It said o theway you talk and the way you speak, but I mean even music. They got these andme and native talked about this in past episodes. Mumble wrappers things. Now Idon't understand. Um and I've never heard her music, but there's Thicelebrity her name's Um Billy ellish, Ilish B. I ilish Oka. Wedon't know, I don't even know either. I just saw a picture of hit and I went.She looks doped out of her fucking gored yeah. They all Kinda do nowadays.I don't get it I I I don't understand how this is like the new thing D Idecied to try to relate it to when I was a teenager and skinny sheek was thathing: fomodel O, like Kate, Moss they're, like Oh, my God. These girlslook like they're on heroine and I'm like the girls. Now with this look oreven t, not even the girls, anybody with his style, it looks like they died of Heroina andthey were resurrected like some kind of weird mummy spell or something and nowthey're performing on a stage somewhere is terrible. Well, it's either that orthey're so colorful and with face hattoos and everything like my little one he's he's ten s tattoo no, but he he will draw that.What is that rapper's name, six, nine...

...or whatever the one that went to jailfor snitching uh he's got faced, had toos and and oneday he brought me a piece of paper and he was like look. I drew six nine and Iwas like first off what is thi six nine, and why are you talking about six nine?And then he showed me the picture and it's a wrapper with rainbow coloredhair and a rainbow grill and face tattoos, and I was just like I don't know about that. I don't likeall that wow, but that's how I knew I became an old man when I was like Idon't agree. This is become to get off my lawn segment. I know: Isn't thatterrible? Well, th, that's what partially. What bugs me is. I can'trelate anymore, and that was something that I thought I'd always be able to do.I never thought I would lose the ability to kind of you know, bridge thegap between generations and again relate it to my era and go okay. Well,this is, I can understand this because it is similar to that right, but it'snot happening anymore. The disconnect has finally occurred and I feel like anold Turdy Bastardoh, my God, I am stuffed. This has been quite theepisode quite filling really. We've had all the fixings and the main meal, themain dish, whereas fancy folks like to call it the main course. If you enjoyedthe show, you know what reach out to us, let us know about it. It's an easy wayto do. It find us on any of our socials at selling out show we're on theINSTAGRAM 'cause we're hipping with it. We're on twitter, oh on facebook, whichI personally cannot stand. I mention it. Every fucking chaince I get it'sactually at selling out show one because I tried to set it up andbecause I do in fact hate the facebook I bucked it up, but anyway, YOUC alsosent us an email selling out show at Gemal DOTCOM, tobster, I'm so happy.It's been such a long time since wev talked it's been E, been a minute dim at you. Ah I get a ININ. This wasit was lit being on on the show tonight. So I'm real happy about that. Oba Yeah.It was, but I I I appreciate you coming on and filling in. Thank you so muchfor teaching me the lingo spending this Thanksgiving centric. I don't know if Iwant to call it thanksgiving, special or just H, themed, Yit Asy, you co, youcan call it super thanksgiving, Supermega selling out show iing style. So the other thing we didn't invent. Weneed a dance. We Ed Thanksgiving dance like Oh yeah, deve, doing e Turker O aTurkey dance. You know, but anyway still I I want to thank you. I truly doenjoy talking to you very, very much and it's been far too long, my friend,whether it be a minute or a thousand minutes or days or Monh or whatever thefuck they wan to call it. But still you get my you get my drift, don't Ye Gadio!I I do cool Ca. I don't know I'm not veryhipp with all this. No it S, it was my pleasure, like youknow it has been a while, since we we've got to hang out and talk. So it'sit's good to talk about food too big boys talking about food come onerw. Nowlet people know where they can find you. You know. Where can they find yourshows? Well, if you want to hear conspiracies and supernatural with asatire outlook, H go check out my show secret transmission, pod cash, it's on everything I tune. stitchers botify, Iheart radio, just look up secret transmission podcast. Now, if you like,Retro Video Games me and my Cohos, we review and rate one retro video gameper episode. We go over the history, the game play some fun fats and then werateed at the end and that secret levels and again it's also on all themajor podcasting platforms. So but you cal follow our shows on tt ee, in Egram,at secret, Transplod and secret at secret levels. POD, so follow both of'em they're kind, O fun. I do I follow 'em,you do follow them. You see that Y, you like everything and y. u you show somelove and I's right that, and you know what more people should do the same,and you know how you can do that if you like a show, if you don't like a show,it doesn't fuckin matter, write an email or rate in review on itunes. Itgoes a long way to help a show grow and I wouldn't mind it if he tossed me areview either hey ey, just not trying to sell, promote here or nothing, butdo it El Yeah. On that note, I want to think each and every one of you fortuning in I truly love. All of you. I mean really you're all invited over forThanksgiving, not saying I'm going to feed Yo that might be too costly.Sothey can come over and watch me eat virtual hugs for all of you. I am Davethat is toby filling in for Naton, and this has been selling outinfirmarymedia,...

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