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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 17 · 3 years ago

Ep.#17 Memory Lane

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

"We sure have lived some crazy lives. Wouldn't it be great if we wrote a book?"
"Nah, I'm too lazy for that. Let's start a podcast!"
On this episode we take a trip down memory lane and revisit some moments from 2018. This is a great place for new listeners to check out what we do here at Selling Out and for the regulars to get a good laugh.
Not bad for a couple of guys who technically should be dead. CLICK PLAY!
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Hey, I'm andy. If youdon't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous, but I did starta men scrimming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of afrustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced, overdesigned andout of touch. At Harry's, our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for aslow as two dollars each. We care about quality so much that we dosome crazy things, like by a world class German blade factory. Obsessing overevery detail means we're confident in offering a hundred percent quality guarantee. Millions ofguys have already made the switch to Harry's, so thank you if you're one ofthem, and if you're not, we hope you give us a try. With this special offer, get a hairy starter set with a five bladerazor, weighted handle, Shave Gel and a travel cover, all for justthree bucks, plus free shipping. Just go to Harry'SCOM and enter five thousandto check out. That's Harry'Scom Code five thousand. Enjoy infirmary media do youremember as kids we would be like walking through the woods and sometimes you justhappen upon a couple like pages, ripped up and dirty from like a pornmagazine. R and it was always like this doing on the train track.Yeah, it is this over here. It was like a treasure in thewoods. If you happened upon it, was like, Whoa, how fuckinggross is it that we were picking that up? Will Wow, check thisout like some Hobo. Yeah, there's probably masturbating to it, like lastnight. Yeah, I don't think I ever even thought of that. Like, how horrible was I'm picking that up? It's like a peatree dish on apage. Or is there like some kind of like Easter bunny or something, some kind of like mythical creature? Yeah, that just drops random pornopages in the middle of nowhere. The children defines the Johnny Apple seed ofcorns, just kind of sprinkling it around. You were now to dig to thisselling out podcast. What it does is beaches into your brain chemically andlocate your happiest memory chemically and then knocks on that emotion and releases it chemicallyand then it keeps your happy, happy. Hello, hello, hello, andthank you for tuning into the selling out show. I'm one of yourhost David Schultz, and I want to start off with a little bit ofhistory about our humble little program it was created after I had a shocking revelationthat I may have become pretty tame. I imagine how a conversation would go, given the chance to speak to my younger self. Rather quickly, theanswer became clear. He would call me a sellout. You gave up onthe dream man. Could that be true, and, if so, is itnecessarily a bad thing? After all, I am a graduate from the Schoolof hard knocks and have spent most of my life traveling the path ofmost resistance. Isn't it already an accomplishment just to be able to live andtell the tale? I like to think so. I called on my longtimefriend, Nick Gore Zinski to join me on this project. There isn't muchwe have an experience, good and bad, during our adventures, and this showwould be the perfect place to discuss an imperfect world. If you're thekind of person who's candle burned from both ends and feel lucky to be amongthe living, our podcast is probably for you. All this being said,I'm on vacation, so what we've prepared for you isn't the best of,or rather a compilation or sampler of clips. Our episodes are quite ECLECTIC, withtopics that include religion, cults, Nostalgia, mental health, prison,dating, fear, drugs, time travel...

...and so much more. So besure to hit up our back catalog. We're proud members of the infirmary medianetwork, which can be found at infirmary dot org, and our show canbe found on major podcast providers such as Itunes, spotify, stitcher and iheartradio. Now I pass the mic to nate, who's going to take you on ajourney through this selling out Juke box. Don't worry, I won't leave withoutsaying goodbye. So, without further ado, take it away, AmigoSabby. Thanks Dave. Hey, guys, it's nate and I'm kind of hereto walk with you back down memory lane, as it were. Ourfirst clip is from all the way back in episode one, when the worldof this podcast was new in everything seemed possible, the Holcyon Days of youth, Huh. Anyway, doesn't get much more nostalgic than this, a newsclip involving a man who's been victimized over and over. So he decides toset up security cameras outside his house. And while I he's blessed with evidenceof the crimes being committed against him, the local news gets involved. Theculprits. Images broadcast on TV all over and now, apparently, even online. Hell, we found it. The world's change in folks. It's harderto get away with doing your dirty work. Everywhere you go you have to assumeyou're being watched. To some people this is a violation of privacy.To others it provides a sense of security and as long as you're not doinganything wrong, who cares if you always being watched? Right? Me,personally, I think that's like saying who cares? If I don't have freedomof speech, I've got nothing to say anyway. Wow, this got deepfast. Anyway, one thing that's for sure. The subject of our firstclip is a man who is tired of being shit on. I think wecan all relate to that. I Love News. You love it. It'salways bad news, right, yeah, news called the bad news, thebad news bears. It's always bad. Each of the news of the gotFu, Fu, fuck, fuck, fucking. Then then they showed likethe last two minutes. Someone saved a cat from a tree and you goon and then they go awesome's Dad, you go fu fuck, fuck,fuck, fuck. So in my travels is scouring the Internet for kind offun stuff, I came across this story from coat seven on Youtube about ajogger in Knob Hill, New Mexico, who has a serious case of theruns. Let's listen in Wellman caught on security camera. We're leaving herself nextto a house and knob hill, and it's not the first time. Newintonaccess of it is Porta Blissa, Colorado, has too hard to believe video anddug and shelley. At first the man who lives in at home thoughtmaybe it was a homeless person, maybe it was a one time accident whena security cameras caught the same young one or pooping right next to his house. Yet again, it was time to hand a video to us. Ilike that. It was time to hand the video to us. Yeah,after he's used it for his personal pleasure before times than we probably cared toadmit. You know, how long did he have it before he decides togive it to the news? He's like, I'm done with this. Yeah,it's served his purpose, if you know what I mean. It's EasterSunday. A young woman on her morning run. She makes a turn joggingtowards this alley. Then a security camera catches this, drops her pants andlet's go, but her shorts back up without any wipe, nothing else.The man who lives at the home did not want his face on camera andwants us to call him bobby. I bet you his real name is bobby. He's couldn't think of anything better at the time. I'm probably man.This is malicious feakle distribution, malicious fecal distribution. Nate, that's it.That's a mouthful, that's a I don't know, that's that's horrible that youjust said that. The term malicious fecal distribution and mouthful in the same sense. I'm just copying with Bobby said it was. I didn't come up withthat. I'm not smart enough to come up with that. Bobby. Youthrow you through mouthful in there. Oh yeah, I like how it's maliciousthough, like compared to what is he like? A good natured fecal yeah, just accidental. She still distribute people...

...distribus. Sorry about that. Spontaneousfecal distribution. This was fucking she's come back multiple times, at least fourtimes. Bobby says he has no idea who she is and why his homehas become her personal toilet. Bobby says she always strikes on weekend mornings.In fact, his security cameras caught her once again this past Saturday. SoI guess even even these dump runners, he's even malicious fecal people, whateverwot to call them, get a case of the Monday's to the point wherethey they can only strike on the weekend. Huh? They let loose on theweekends, they let their hair down and shit in the yards. Well, I guess she's easy to find. Yeah, everybody's working for the weekend. Yo, you got that right. I saw this little blond girl runningdown the street and I was like, Oh my God, that's that's gotto be her. Unsure, bobby left his home and did some errands.When he came back, the evidence was there. This is calculated. Look, Look, look, I'm dropping my pants as I'm running. He's hopingthis story makes whoever the culprit is stop once and for all. If ithappens again, I want to run out there with a hose and hoser downand say bad human. I like how Bobby's response to dealing with this isprobably the way he deals with all of life's issues. He's like, Ididn't get that raise I wanted, so I sprayed my boss down and tonelash him as if he was a dog. Bad human. Yeah, bad boss, barb bad, bad, come get you one. Now Bobby hasnot called police and made a complaint. He says he's not sure if policewill take this seriously. We reached out to APD. It's possible if thiswoman is caught, she could be charged with a misdemeanor for public nuisance ordisorderly conduct. Imagine you get the luck, and I mentioned this to you inthe past, like you meet a girl in a bar and she's reallyhot. She's out of your league. Well, for some reason she's interestedin you and you're like, Oh wow, man, what's going on here?And then I'm like she must lead like a secret double life. Thenmakes her available to a guy of your caliber and for you you like wow, this is girl's great but then she turns out to be the secret KNOB. He'll poop runner, no KNOB, he'll poop runner in New Mexico andyou like fuck. You know, I thought I was onto something here.This is going to be a great life, I was going to have a gonnaget married, but she just likes to defecate in people's lawns on theweekends and nobody's perfect. Yeah, he said, do you still going tobring her home to mom? I'm you got to be careful. She mightdo something on the lawn. We don't know. I don't know. Isthat a deal breaker? You know, I for me, kind of itisn't. Yeah, twenty years ago maybe not, but now, yeah,I don't know. Maybe bobby might be into this, might be a thismight be a romantic story. In the end it'll turn out bobby's found thelove of his life, just you, and that's such a sweet story totell your kids some day. How did you how did you and Mommy meet? Well, she was shitting in my yard and I hosed her down.You know the rest of his history. This is just a weird news storiesactually from I didn't say this from the jump, but this is from likefive years ago. So I wonder. I haven't seen any updates online.Where are they now? Exactly? We need an update. We need anupdate. We need to know where she ever caught. Is She going toohiding? You she liked the UNIBOMBER, living in a cabin up in thewood, somewhere seemingly normal. We don't know. So if anybody out therehere's more stories like that, make sure you send them into us. We'dlike to cover them on the show and we get some more stuff we're goingto talk about. But first a word from our fake sponsor. This iscrack rock cocaine. It isn't glamorous or cool kids stuff. It's the mostaddictive kind of cocaine and it can kill you. It's really bad. IsNobody knows how much it takes, so every time you use it you riskdying. It isn't worth it. Look, everybody wants to be cool, butdoing it with crack isn't just wrong,...

...could be dead wrong. All right, everybody, I hope you listen to Peewee, follow his life lessonsthere and make sure you stay off the crack. Yes, always listen toPoo. Always listen to pe we especially when it's about crack. Okay,all right, guys. I hope everyone paid attention to that Heartfelt Image frompee wee Herman, most likely a condition of his probation back in the day. But, but, yeah, speaking of the correctional system, this podcasthas been no stranger to the topic. You know, Dave and I havea colorful history of substance abuse and criminal activity which for the most part hasfaded with age, but I for one didn't make it out without a prettylengthy criminal record. This next bit from our fifth episode is about how peopleget by in jail, for the most part in entrepreneurial way, in aplace where the official jobs rarely pay at all. You know you can workin the kitchen serving food or in the laundry washing uniforms and bed sheets,but the only payment you get in there is maybe some extra food, youknow, or just something to do to get you out of yourself. Alot of these prisoners are homeless and penniless when they go in in a manwill often lose weight if he's just eating the three quote meals the jails serve. So the Hustle is alive and well on the blocks, and it's notall just about Jack in the new guy for his sneakers. There are alot of ways to make money that don't you know, aren't over the counter, so to speak. You are there. They're under the table sort of jobsas as in you got people that are good artists and will draw aportrait of, you know, another inmates kid or something like it, likesay, Hey, I have this photo of my son, can you drawa nice portrait of him? And that stuff's worth money in there. Man, the barter system is alive and well in prisons. Like people will doyour laundry for you by hands, because you send your your clothes to thelaundry service in prison. It's sometimes comes out stained and gross, like Idon't trust my laundry being sent in and washed with everyone else's stuff. Forsome reason it just always comes back gross and and really wrinkly into say,I don't know. And so there are people on the blocks that will handwash your stuff and in their cells and it kills time for them, likebecause your board and there a lot of prison is just, you know,not finding ways to kill boredom. So these people are washing clothes, Huh, and then they get paid for it. You might you know when and andthe way they get paid for it. They say, okay, every shirtI wash I charge a candy bar or a couple Romans soups or whateveryou know. They they're they're pay paid in canteen items, the items youbuy, although I am super paranoid. Oh Yeah, about candy now,like when I was a kid. Is, if you said here's some candy,I be like yeah, great, let me's fucking eating. The reasonnow? Yeah, exactly, the old not the wives tales with the urbanlegends, right. MM. There's razors, is fucking cyanide is. I sawa news report now that there's like ecstasy pills or whatever, but thepolice of warning people watch out for the candies that may appear to be somekind of Halloween treat, will make you trip your balls. Dude. Nobodyis giving away free fucking ecstasy, the fucking people. So, unfortunately,some lessons in jail are harder than others. Often a person goes in for thefirst time as a Braddy kid, and enough time will temper and moldyou, so as you get older you'll notice your behavior has changed. Ofcourse this is true in all of life,...

...but certain scenarios, especially places wherethe normal rule and law are supplanted with a more animal code of likeSocial Darwinism. Like prison, for example. Things just have to be learned quicklyor things can get really uncomfortable quickly. Also from episode five, this nextclip is when I told this little story about how just not minding yourown business can put you in a pretty difficult situation when I first went in. Okay, so I my first my first sentence of serving a year,and I happen to come in the same day as this Lebanese dude. It'snot not a racist thing, I'm just saying it to make it easier toidentify him as the story goes on. So I'm new in, this littleLebanese dude who's a few years younger than me, happens to strike up aconversation at the bullpen and that court with me, and turns out he's inthere because some underage girl is accusing him of like grabbing her tits or somethingnot so wholesome, you know. And okay, yeah, of course heswears he's innocent or whatever. For some reason he's just telling me the story, despite that being like a charge that can get you fucked up or orforce you to check into protective custody when you're in there. I mean,you know, a charge like that. You know, you shouldn't be talkingabout that because people don't want to hear that they're sharing a block with witha diddler or, you know, a rapist or as the biggest. No, no, right, yeah, that's a big one, that snitching stufflike that. So so anyway that I get locked up, I get outof court, they bring me to the jail. They put us in separateunits. So I didn't see the kid for a while. So like eightmonths later I'm in this comfortable block, I'm working in the kitchen, I'vegotten to know a lot of people, I'm in the Groove, you know. I got my routine down and one one day the Lebanese kid is movedonto our block and he's gotten comfortable in jail too. So He's all loudand being this young thug type WHO CAUSES A lot of commotion, talking alot of Shit, and he's just an irritating presence on the block. Sothe the group I tended to hang around with that at the time just mostlyhappened to be big white dudes, probably, you know, probably affiliated with groupsI don't agree with, but I was young and I had heard thatyou stay with your own race, etc. Is My first time in. Sothey weren't like overt Notzi skinheads or anything, just a bunch of solidwhite dudes, they called them, and they were cool with me because Iwas white too. They call them solid. Well, I was like the thing, like you know, hey, man, you're solid, you're cool. Yeah, you solid white dude, your your so, you, you, you know. It's like yeah, basically your stand up dude whatever.So okay. Yeah, and I mean there's a so sort of code inthere where, like I said, if you have a shady charge like asex crime or hurting a kid or a snitch or whatever, it says soon your paperwork, and then there would be a valid reason to force someoneout of the block and into protective custody. So one of these big white dudesI knew actually said one day what, like I wish we had a reasonto check that Lebanese kid into pc because he's so loud and annoying.Like I wish we had some valid reason, because they weren't going to just doit for no reason, because the Lebanese kid was as affiliated with agang to and you can't just attack some gang member without a valid reason oryou're going to start a gang more in there, you know. But Iknew that the kid was in there for allegedly touching and underage girl. andrather than mind your own business, you know, as I've learned to doin the meantime, I was all caught up in the energy of these toughdude saying fuck this kid, we need a reason to get him off theblock, and so I said. So I go, Hey, if youguys, emphasis on you guys, check,...

...check his paperwork. I hear he'sgot like a diddler charge, like a touch in an underage girl charge. So I expected these guys to be all psyched and to start making moves. Well, what I didn't know at that young age is that what theseguys wanted more than anything was like entertainment. And since I was the one whowas putting the you know, touching kid jacket on the guy, likeI'm the one that's calling him a diddler or whatever, they wanted me togo check the kid in like personal fuck. And I didn't even really care enoughabout the situation to like fight the kid or confront him. I wasjust some young assholes. Should have kept my mouth shut and right. Yeah, but totally. Yeah, I thought those big dudes wanted a reason tocheck the kid in, but instead now they're looking at me like, Dude, you're accusing him of this, then it's you who goes and handles it. And for them it's just all entertainment. They all get to watch the shitgo down him. So it does make sense. I mean, Iwas the one who said something. I was I was just trying to bea little pussy and keep my hands clean at the time. Yeah, butnow it's turning to glad eater, you know. So now I had togo to the kid and be like hey, man, you gotta go, youknow. And of course the kid wanted to fight, to stand upfor himself and try to regain some honor. And from a minute I was nervousthat somehow that charge was maybe somehow off his record now or something,and and I'd have to deal with issues with his gang or something for callingthis kid a skin or when he wasn't. And but when we were alone,right before he took his first swing at me in the mob closet orwhatever, he kind of whispered in this pathetic voice, dude, why'd youhave to say anything so I knew. Yeah, I knew it was validand, despite him being this loud mouth, like pest on the block, Iactually felt a little bad, like I don't know the whole story.Maybe he didn't really touch the girl and she was just, you know,a bitch. It was like talking to I don't know, and I betrayedhis trust. Even though, you know, the kid has a diddler charge,I still felt I'm still somebody who, how is so fucking weird. Man, this is like it's a terrible comparison, but it's like high school. You trying to fit in with a certain click. Yep, you know, and you think you're doing something to appease that click and they turn iton you and you're not like one of them anymore. You just like afucking lab run. Yeah, I was a crash dummy. They call that, like a crash dummy when they yeah, yes, fucked up, they cansend some dude to go do some shit and entertain them and fight crazy. Yeah, it's I was a crash dummy, but I do. Sohow this fight go down? You? You said you're in a mop closet. Yeah, he whispered to you, like why the fuck you betray meand then you guys just start swinging. Yeah, basically he swung at meand I mean I yeah, I still I had to fucking hit the kid. I mean I really only connected like three or four times before the peoplestarted saying, like the guards are coming and whatnot. And and I havea longer reach than the kid and I was definitely connecting with his face whenhe was more just kind of glancing off me with his you know, justI didn't even have marks on me and everyone, everyone ended up scattering andwhen the guards did their next like scheduled count, they happen to notice thiskid had, you know, his face was all swollen and they took himto the infirmary and he never ended up coming back to the block and heapparently never snitched on me either for doing it. And, most importantly,perhaps I never had issues with the gang, so presumably I wasn't wrong about allthis shit, you know. But yeah, but that was a bigearly lesson for yeah, you never did that again. No, I stayout of the Shit, you know, after that, I mean some peoplelive for that, some people go in there and it's they call it wreck. I'm getting wreck like recreation, like...

I'm going to go get some wreck, I'm going to go like start a fight with this dude, and theyenjoy but to me, I want to do my time easily. I wantto be in there get it done as quick as possible and anything that upsetsmy little routine, it fucks you ship. Dude. You get into this routinewhen you're locked up where you learn what to do in the morning,what to do, you know, in between Chow to fill your time,and the whole point of the day is how do I fill my day andget this day over with so I can start the next one and kill thatday. And next thing you know, the time is pretty much flying by. Like I said before that prison time is like the fastest increment of time. It seems to fly by. Next thing you know you're turning around.You're like wow, that month just flew by, and that's great when you'rein there, but when you get a little older or you've you know,you're realizing you're you spent however many years in there, you start realizing,wow, I'm just trying to kill my life and get it over with.You're not appreciating your life, you're just trying to kill the time. AndYeah, and that is the real punishment in there. It's that they're stealinglife from you. They're stealing like they take you away from the things thatyou enjoy and you just have to get through it. And so I learnedat some point that you don't stop living when you're in there, like Ihad to learn that. Like, look, I have to still laugh, II have to still enjoy myself in here I'll go crazy. Sure,we all know vaping saves lives, but now I want to save you somemoney. Visit Northland vaporscom probably made in North Dakota. Northland vapors line ofelquids contain no artificial sweeteners, are dike tone free and won't gunk up yourcoils. Whether you're quitting smoking or an experienced vapor northland carries a variety offlavors and hardware, making it a onestop shop for all your vaping needs.Northland believes quality doesn't need to be costly, and right now you can use codeselling out nineteen and save nineteen percent off. There already amazing prices.So what are you waiting for? Get your head into the clouds and shoponline at Northland vaporcom or visit their locations in more head and the MIDGE MINNESOTA. Some products contain nicotine, adults only. So we've heard about dark places thatexist where animal type behavior is present in men. Kind of scary tosome people, I suppose. Well, what about the creatures of the night, the ones from our nightmares and from the silver screen? Is it possibleto become awarewolf is, like canthropy, based on some form of reality?Anton lavay seemed to think so, but his method of bringing out our innerbeast is questionable at best. Just for reference, this was from our fearepisode and, so as not to confuse the new listener, there is acallback in this to an earlier discussion in which Dave mentioned seeing a terrifying apparitionof the planters peanut man in his grandmother's basement as a kid and it kindof scarred him. So we mentioned it in the clip, so I'd beremiss if I didn't mention it here. When we were younger it was alot more of religion censoring stuff and and it's gotten a little easier as we'vegotten older. But Anyway, my point is I did a lot of readingof like different philosophies that weren't Christianity, and one of which I got intoAnton Lavey, who is like the founder of this branch of Satanism, theChurch of Satan, and all this. You know, and may you didn'tmention you wore a lot of black. Yeah, Dude, if it in, I was it was my it was my duty to read ant on theway. But but anyway, there was...

...an interesting chapter in one of hisbooks, this book, the I think it was the devil's notebook, oneof his books. It wasn't the Satanic Bibles, this other one he wrote, but there was a chapter on like anthrapy, which is the changing intoa Werewolf, which obviously is a silly thing. It's science fiction or herbut he made an interesting point. He said to get as close as youcan to changing into an animal, basically, you take one of these primal emotions, or whatever you want to call it, like fear, he said, specifically go to a place where it causes fear and you whether it's youknow, you walk by this cemetery that always scared you as a kid,or or the haunted house that we mentioned earlier, the basement where you sawMr peanut dancing around. Go go somewhere like that that causes this primal levelof fear, and hopefully you've got one that it's almost intolerable how scary itis. You go there and then you achieve orgasm, whether you bring somebodywith you and you have sex, you masturbate, whatever it is, andI'm masturbating in my name is basement, Mr Fuck. Maybe Mr Peanut willgive you a handy or something. He's watching me, that know. Butthe the point of it all is that the combination of those two, thoseare as primal as we can get as humans in this day and age.Fear and sex, you know, and if you come he said that whenyou achieve that point, like theoretically, you're as close as as close asyou can be to animal level. And I don't know, it was aninteresting topic. Is An interesting thing. I never tried it because, yeah, I'm not in the habit of Jerkinoff in a cemetery, but you neverknow, might be something to check out. I'm not going to suggest it toour listeners, but if if you try it, you know right allmany body's inspired enough to become a werewolf. Yeah, manor something. It wasthose crazy people, the the furries at like each other or something,cause players Sherman, and maybe they try something like that. But yeah,I think I'm cool with my normal saggy human form that are just kind ofbitching about ten minutes ago. Yeah, man, if you're going to dothis, invest in some razors first, because if you're awarewelf, I guessthey got kind of Harry. Yeah, and bail. You might want somebail money and the ready because you know, yeah, it's cemetery. Is something. You know someone who was to leave flowers on bubby's grave and theysee you and before you know it scoop scoop. Yep, we're grown UPSnow, we plan ahead. So yeah, a little bail money, some razors, yea. And Elvis was another incredibly well respected musical icon who forsome reason gets a pass historically, despite his pension, for criminally young girls. He met and started, quote, dating his wife Priscilla, when shewas only fourteen. Elvis was a drugged up gun toting a Feba file,but yet he's second only to Jesus Christ in many households across Merica to thisday. Are you trying to tell me this velvet painting I have here theking is actually a painting of a child molester. What's next? Accident?Tell me that our Kelly don't know how to use a potty. Is thatright? Okay, so we've now discussed public defecation used as a weapon.We've heard about life on the inside of prison walls. We've even learned howto become a werewolf, or at least how to pick up a really hardto explain sex offender charge. Anyway. Finally, we come full circle rightwhere we started. A couple guys making fun of something on TV. Ourlast clip is from our funny box episode in in it, we learn aboutthe personal lives of a troubled couple who...

...are out their dirty laundry on daytimetelevision, I assume, interspersed originally with commercials for ambulance chasing, lawyers andonline universities. We also learned that Dave has a low bar for what hewill watch on television. What's next, Dave? We're going to discuss amorty Povich paternity test episode. Is that show even on anymore? Is Anybodyeven listening to me whatever? Let's hear about Davante and his little shirts andis extremely patient significant other as they go on national television to try to fixtheir relationship with the help of a judge who doesn't know them for Shit.Is it America? Awesome? All right, there's a wide variety of port showson TV. I tend to avoid them like the plague. I mean, I can't understand how anybody would want their public business being on TV,especially I think you all kind of go in expecting you're going to lose.See just look like a fucking asshole to begin with. But are you familiarwith divorce court at all? I mean, I'm sure I've heard of it,but there's so many, like you mentioned, so many court shows,I'm not sure that I've seen that one in particular. But okay. Well, here on divorce court we get judge Perkins, who takes on cases wherecouples are on the verge of calling it quits. I had it all theother day, and this particular proceedings had a young woman named Christie complaining thather boyfriend, Devante, is a dead beat, and I kind of wantto share it with the world. I don't want to suffer alone. Okay. So so what do you say we listen in a little bit on thiscase, sounds good. Good Day, Ladies and Gentlemen, here today withChristy Jemison and Devante Daniels. Miss Jemison, you are done through, sick ofit, tired, you've had enough. Miss Daniels, Mr Daniels, youthink you can save it, so that's what you're here to do.I'm going to start with you, Miss Demonson. Why don't you tell mea little bit about your relationship and why we're here today? Well, wehad today because I broke up with devante. Basically, I took care of himfor throwing the heavy is. Devante is a liar. Yea Cheetah,he a bum. All he did was mooch off me the whole relationship.Jesus, tell us how you really feel, Miss Jamison. Yeah, those aresome strong words for sure, but me, I gonna I got tosay something here. Buddy, hat Chimachi, she's a looker. Uh Yeah,UH, yeah, not bad. You know, she's pretty hot.I let her denigrate me all day long. Hey, I don't know she's YourCup of tea, but she's right for me. I think she's mostpeople's Cup of tea. Yeah, she's she's a houghty. Yeah, shetalks a little funny. She's got some braces in there whatever. But yeah, totally look fast that, Mama. and to describe Davante a little bit, just so everybody out there can kind of visualize it, he's got pinkdreads, a pink shirt and he has a tattooed eyebrow. But we're aboutto learn that he's actually a go get. H MMMM. He lie about sendingresumes to job. I'd take the same box. Nothing. So,who are you sending jobs to? I'd sack the history on the Internet.Nothing. Then lies, John. I'm old school. I'm not that textheavy. Im out and go hand them to the jobs myself. Nay,I can respect this. I mean he wants to show off his weares andperson, but I a little curious as to who even accepts walkins anymore.I know, yeah, man it. This guy is definitely an analog jobapplicant. I mean I kind of identify with that. I'm not tech savvyeither, but from the picture missus Jamison Paints of this dude, I don'tI don't know if he's motivated enough to be out delivering resumes by hand.Do you know when he could just do it? From the comfort of hisown home online. Know this is Ya true? I don't know true.I mean, I'm just I'm still kind of wondering what kind of job youjust walk in and give you resume for Strip club bouncer. I know eventhe if I really donalds wants you to ply online, you know exactly right. We're the fuck is he going? I don't get it. I havea feeling he's not telling us a truth.

His looks, however, MMM,may make it hard to score when he walks through the door. Absolutelywhen I met him he didn't look like that. What do you look like? He look normal, like a normal dude, you know, normal,no shirt on, with the picture it all. Verry is normal dude.And this dude. How much did it cost you to become that dude?Over twenty five hundred? Twenty five hundred dollars, yes, and like whenyou're seventy. You know how that's gone subtle out. I'm all right withthat. I'm all right with how, because that's fifty years from now.Yeah, that's a long time. I got some time to regret that later. Are you ever concerned that your physical appearance will somehow hinder your ability tobecome employed. No, because I am employed at the moment. What areyou doing? I work for a very important motor company. I'm I thinkthe word little is what got me about the whole description of him back inthe like. Look at him with his normal little shirt on it. Itsounds downright adorable, you know, you think so. Yeah, what whathappened to our normal little dude with his normal little shirt? It's just he'sa dude. Just a little shame. What happened, you know? Well, what about the tattoos? Oh, dude, I mean, I don'tknow what she calls him. You know, she says he used to be likenormals, a relative term. I don't know that. Yeah, facetattoos are kind of I don't know, I don't know if that's worth thetwenty five hundred. You know, it the yeah, I'll say this oldman. What's wrong with living in the now? You know, he saysgot some time to regret that later. You know, it's like at leasthe's aware. It's never too early to start regretting. You know. Yeah, face tattoos, neck tattoos. Regret is the gift that keeps on giving, you know. Yeah, I got fifty years. I fifty years togo before I start feeling like shit. Yeah, well, by then,who cares anyway? You're sagging, everything's drooping. You know whatever, it'sno big deal. The thing I kind of found funny here about the guyis that when they asked what he does for a living, HMM, hesays, I work for a very important motor and it's like like motor company. But he pauses as if he's like searching for an industry in his mindis like, what can I say here? Dude, what the Fueh? Iknow what the fuck is a motor company. Either it's really bad atlying or he just has no idea what kind of jobs exist. You know, he's like, I work at a motor company. Yeah, he's gonnasay like a bad fitters or something. Yeah, exactly, but but itjust didn't sound like Regal enough. It didn't carry enough away. so He'sjust like motor company and Motor Company. What do you guys do there?Company Motors? Yeah, we work with motors. Hey Go had a job? Where do you? Like? A job? Myself to make sure shegot up to go to her job. So we both didn't have jobs.You mean to tell you, tell me it took you all day to getit for that. Ah, it took you all day to get her towork. No, I did not get her to work. I just makesure she went. I didn't even get paid for that. I did alike volunteer status out of the goodness of my heart. Well, maybe hedidn't have a car before he started working for the motor hmm company here,you know. But but you know what I'm gonna tell you, man,I kind of again, I kind of respect that. Yeah, he's finallybeing honest. And you know, she looks fairly high maintenance here, sowho knows, maybe it was like an assembly line gig or something. Yeah, getting her ready for work. I mean, I really but seriously,that is a legitimate job. I will stand by him on that. Iam with you, Davante, all the way. You don't want to donothing like I'll go to work, leave him a whole in list of stuffto do. I get home, the house dirty, him and his friendsaround been bumps, having a bump fist. There might be a chip bag ortwo lying around next to the consoles, yes, but no more than that. Consoles. Is that? Yeah, is that connected to your home theaterequipment. I think he has such a like an intimate relationship with videogames. M He came up with a pet name for his playstation or something, console. Yeah, it's fancy, sounds like it's got a form ofFrench, the language I love. Really,...

...it's like going to target. Youcall it targe. He's got the consoles in this stupid that it tookme thrown the half yes over last like okay, I gotta do something aboutthis, like he gotta go. Well, better late than never, I guess. Yeah, totally, man. Ladies, the moment, you're livingroom is littered with empty funding bags. You know what she got here.You either run or you reside with the fact you know. Don't come threeand a half years later, seeing you're stupid. She belittles me and shegets possessive at town. It's more of the belittling when her coming home.Give me an example of her, of what she's done. When I comehome in a Choy, when she comes home in a tour isn't done.First thing you do is say, Oh, what you in? Do you anddo none all day. You just bummy, extra bummy. You Ain'tgot none going this and that. That's all I heard every day when shecome home. She's always fussing pick this up, clean this up, andI asked for a little help. I just ask for a little help,if she could just help me, maybe vacuum or something like that. Thischick sounds lazy as fuck. I think he should just get out of there. You know she's not. He take his chip bags and run. Yeah, is going? I'm fucking up. I don't know, man, youdon't listen. For my personal experience. He's Lucky, Oh, absolutely lucky, that he did not get pelted with the rolling pin. They I havewelts on my buttocks the size of pancakes. Okay, Oh yeah, man.So this guy, you know, listen, a few, I don'tknow, bad words toss his way. is nothing absolutely compared to the punishmentI get at home. Oh my God, man, I don't want to seemost people, but I know a lot of people who would would dieto be in this. Dudes, you know, last three years of whatever. Yeah, totally. I mean again, she's a fucking smoke ball. Yeah, but one. So you can put up with anything here. Andhere's the thing, man, he is putting out his last plea yes,right up now. So you want her back? I want her back.Yes, give me your best turn around and tell her, woman something.Do you mind? I know, go out it, Christ you have allyou not done with him, and I'm sorry for everything I did and Iwant you back. Will you take the Kid Bay one last time. I'Mgonna change. Man, your Honna what Dang? Merely, I was justa little boy when we make. I'm now a full grown man. I'mnow a full grown man. See, see, that's why he can't wearthe little shirts anymore. He's grown. Don't let the stupid neon dreads andface tattoos fool you, dude. Dude, sounds like a soundcloud mumble rapper,but you know these he's grown. You know. Hey, he's outof the Oshkosh bagosh phase, especially first film. But my guess. Youknow this guy's a poet. He really is. Despite being bummy, he'struly found his honey and Devante, wherever you are out there right now.I salute shooting. For what exactly, I'm not entirely sure, but seeingthis on TV amused me. I don't know that says about me is ahuman being, probably nothing good, but yet I was interested in this guyand I kind of want to know what's going on with him. So,you know what, in this spirited television, give him a Sitcom. Sounds good. Man. He looks like a modern day start dutey looks like littleYachti, this little soundcloud rapper, but on, on Crystal Meth, Idon't know, I know really, I'm not familiar with it. I wasgoing to say he looks like a malnourished Chuck Mosley or something. Yeah,that too, he does. That's a good point. Much like Davante,I'm actually looking for sympathy from our listeners, you know, because I need someoneto take me away from daytime TV. Yeah, so if anybody out therehas some activities for me to do, I welcome them. Yes, tokeep me busy between the hours of I don't know, noon and too, because I never want to go through this again. Phone number for asupport group or something so you can get off these daytime TV shift day fromthe selling out show. Here to tell you about spunk loub spunk loube isa multi award winning mom can't use by professionals in the adult film industry.Spunk is available in hybrid pure silicone, natural and pink. Spunk is madewith the highest quality ingredients and is non stating, Hypo allergenic and cleans withease. Enhance your love life with spun...

...right now. SPUNK LOUBE is bythree, get one free. There's no excuse not to give it a try. SPUNK LOUBE A high end product for an affordable price. Is it?Spunk loubecom today and you can thank me later. Well, folks, thatdoes it for episode number seventeen. Thank you so much for tuning in,and virtual hugs for all of you. If you ever want to get ahold of us, it's really easy. Follow at selling out show on twitteror shoot us a message vs selling out show at gmailcom. Whether you're anold listener or new, we appreciate it all the same, and we havesome exciting stuff coming down the pike in two thousand and nineteen. We wantyou there, so stay tuned now that this bad boy is in the books. I am Dave. That is nate, and this has been selling out piece. Why? God down now, infirmary media. Hey, I'm Maurice. As a barber, you might think my scissors are my main tool,but really it's metro. That's where I got my iphone seven. It's cameramakes sharing my cuts as simple as sniff, snap, share. Right now,get an iphone seven with a camera that shoots K for just for thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. When you switch to the number one brandsonprepaid metro by Tmobile, rule your day requires port inevillual number not going tobe active on tmobilework or active on metro past ninety days and urification of hikingand independent dbats than it for percount Househol thirty too. Give a by iphoneseven, model on and no temperancy. Store for details in terms of conditions. You always dreamed about owning your first house or driving that special car oropening that business. Unfortunately, you also had nightmares introducing the May only mygood dreams come true. Policy from American family insurance. Insured carefully, Dream, fearlessly, get a quote, find an agent, visit M Famcom,American Family Mutual Insurance Company, Yester and it's operating company. Six Thousand AmericanParkway, Madison, Wisconsin,.

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