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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 16 · 3 years ago

Ep.#16 Low Resolution

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

The tragedy known as 2018 is coming to an end and we’re taking a look at the New Year's holiday, celebrations past and present. Also, resolutions... are they just a set up for failure? Our survival instincts have grand, yet flimsy designs when it comes to setting goals. We also discuss some intriguing Craigslist ads after Dave details an encounter with a Steven Avery lookalike while on the hunt for exercise equipment. Warning: avoid offers of imitation crab meat despite how tempting they may be. Finally, Nate’s Notes extols the virtues and misgivings of playing in a band that performs covers.
ALL THIS AND SO MUCH MORE! CLICK PLAY
1:15- A New years discussion
19:15- Dave avoids being murdered
27:20- Craigslist adventures
41:20- Nate’s Notes
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Hey, I'm andy. If you don't know me, it's probably because I'm not famous, but I did start a men scrimming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced, overdesigned and out of touch. At Harry's, our approach is simple. Here's our secret. We make sharp, durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as two dollars each. We care about quality so much that we do some crazy things, like by a world class German blade factory. Obsessing over every detail means we're confident in offering a hundred percent quality guarantee. Millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's, so thank you if you're one of them, and if you're not, we hope you give us a try. With this special offer, get a hairy starter set with a five blade razor, weighted handle, Shave Gel and a travel cover, all for just three bucks, plus free shipping. Just go to Harry'SCOM and enter five thousand to check out. That's Harry'Scom Code five thousand. Enjoy in girmary media you were now to did to the selling out podcast. What it does is beach isn't your brain chemically, and no, cat your happiest memory chemically, and then knocks on to that emotion and released it chemically, and then it keeps your happy, happy. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the selling out show. We've got a great one for you today, as we are going to ring in the New Year. I am one of your host David shows, and with me is my pal Nate Gore Zinski. Nate, how are you? I'm great, man, getting to the end of the year and I'm I'm ready to start a new one. Man, are you want to go fresh? Yeah, Dude, pop that seal, you know, let's get a new one going. Well, new years, okay, we I get a brief history of New Year's here. You ready for that? Absolutely well, basically, different cultures celebrate on different days, but for those who enjoy January first is their New Year of choice. I guess that all started in forty five BC by the Romans and Julius sees. And that's all I got for the history. It's concise, man, you're to the point. I like it. I do have something interesting to say, though. Psychologist will tell us that celebrating the New Year's is our motivation to survive and that resolutions are all about control. And actually, in two thousand and seven there was a study conducted by a British psyche ecologist where he followed threezero people for a year. Out of those people, Eighty eight percent failed to reach their resolution goals, with fifty two percent being confident it could be done. Now. The common resolutions were, you know, standard stuff, losing weight, quit a vice, treat people better, paying off debts and praying more. Now, praying, right, that's an interesting one, but that all ties back into survival, because when people pray they feel safe. HMM, that makes sense. You know, whatever, whatever gets you through, I guess. Yeah, true. I mean I can understand it. I mean the results I can't testify to. Yeah, but I think the alarming thing here, and most people would kind of realize, is that resolutions just don't work right. It's almost like it's a you know, you're setting yourself up for failure. You know, you I don't know what that is. If you're focusing on it too much. You know what I mean? It's almost like, yeah, you build something up like this, is what I'm going to do, this is what you know my plan is, and it's almost like I don't know. Just by...

...doing that, it's like you're cursing yourself. That's that seems to be the cliche over the years is that if you want to make sure you don't do something, make it a new year's resolution, because stances are you're going to fail, you know. But right, well, I mean, let's go back to the whole control thing. Sure it's that we are these flesh bags roaming around on this you know, comic or not commt what am I time? I'm not a scientist. You above not scientist. This mud ball float after out space is rock and you know we don't have a say in anything. So by setting these resolutions or these goals, at least it gives us the idea that we are controlling something in our lives. Right yeah, man, we had that neat. I feel I feel like that's that's the about a lot of life is just trying to ignore the fact that we are these little, insignificant specs on a tiny little rock floating around in infinite space. It's just if we face that reality, it's almost soul crushing in the painful. So whatever it takes, whether it's a new year's resolution or whatever, man, anything to anything to ignore that scary fact. You know, you know, I misspoken. Called our planet a comment, but boy would a comic be so much more fun. Yeah, I zip into the universe. Yeah, man, I except, I guess they're really cold. There is a lot of ice. I think comments are made up of a lot of ice crystals. So right, fuck that. I scratchled. Fuck that. I'm not a resolution guy. HMM, I can't even recall ever making one in my life. Yeah, same here. You've never made one. I don't think so. Not, you know, I don't think so. I really don't. I'm trying to think back when we were talking about doing this episode. I'm like, I don't know if I've ever actually made one. My plans with New Year's always revolved around what are we going to do for New Year's? You know what I mean? It was always like the event itself, let's have a good time, as opposed to the what the upcoming year will bring in, and I'm trying to change that. Like I said, I'm a I'm hopeful for this coming year because, as I grow older, it's like I'm trying to get more positive. I'm not necessarily making resolutions, but I'm trying to like look at it like, you know what, it's a it's a new year as a new fresh start. It's clean slate. But you know that that ties back into our thing, is our, you know, will to survive or our need to survive, because it really isn't anything of true significance. It's just another day. HMM, that's it really is. It's December thirty two. Yeah, I know it could be, but we treat it with such high regard and what you just said, it's our fresh start, like that is the sign, you know, that tells you, Hey, today is a day you have to change things, for today is a day things could in fact be better. Right, right. You know, again it all comes back to, you know, those little things we do, whether they're, you know, distractions or just something that we can kind of put a little order to this whatever chaos. And you know, you see the decline in in people having a spiritual grounding for their life. I'm not saying like there's still a lot of people that are religious and spiritual, but you definitely, if you look at statistics it seems like the highest growing number of people, when they ask what religion you fall under or whatever, the highest keeps being people that classify themselves as I have no religion. And the reason I'm saying that is because, at least when people had more of a spiritual or religious grounding, it did give someone a little, I don't know, like a reason to live, some some kind of feeling of purpose. And as as much as I am not a religious person, sometimes I envy those that are religious or whatever for having some kind of, yeah, that feeling of purpose, sometimes I feel a little, you know, aimless and and I get that kind of feeling that like what is it all for? And all these things, whether it's New Year's,...

...it's just again it's a way to kind of put order to it, even though when you look at it from the outside, it's all really arbitrary. Like you said, the day that New Year's falls on, all these things are just, yeah, man made establishments. You know, we just kind of like are putting, you know, just we're putting our own markers on the field to kind of say this is, there's your resolution for two thousand and nineteen. You can go find Gez oh yeah, I don't know. That Fun Lord Down Grab some snakes in this book game by that's definitely the one that I'm that's going to fail. That's good. That's a setup resolution, you know, like like all of them, I think that's definitely guaranteed to not not come true. What is the way that you celebrate New Year's well, nowadays, man, you know, I'm old and I'm so I now it is my girlfriend and I and and her son end up going every year. We have a couple that we go to their house every year, their mutual friends, and we we ring in the new year with them every year. It's kind of become a little tradition where we play some cards, we watch the ball drop, we do all the you know, grown up kind of kind of boring stuff. It's not. It's a far cry from when I was younger and it was all like, you know, a party every year as a teenager was always like an excuse, any excuse for a party when you're younger and I get drunk is humanly possible. Hass out, yeah, but make love. But Dude, my best memories, to be honest, were before all that. I mean I had I had a pretty good childhood. I mean I think back to when my brother and I were really young and I always loved, you know, being able to stay up all night on New Year's as as little kids, and we'd watched the they always had the three stooges marathon on on whatever channel it was, and we would we'd watch three stooges episodes all night and we drink. My parents would get this like fake champagne for us that, you know, non alcoholic. It was kind of like grape sight of that. I think it was like sparkling apple almost, or something like that, but but it was, you know, it was good. And we had a few years that I remember specifically, like we we had this some a pond in our woods. If you if you've made a little trek through our woods, that was kind of secluded. Not a lot of people seem to know about out it, and so we would bring a few friends, we'd go up there, may throw on some skates, because it would be frozen over, of course, and we'd build a fire on the ice, which was cool, like this bonfire, and we'd we, you know, spend new years out there and it's just something something a little more innocent, like as I get older, I don't. Yeah, I miss sometimes. I missed the partying days of the teens and then and whatnot, but the memories that I really cherish and I really miss were, yeah, those innocent years and and just something that's simple, you know, spending it with the missing yeah, sound very nut Norman Rockwell S. absolutely, you know, skating on the pond, drinking our side light the fire of New Year. Absolutely, Man, I think you know there's something to be said for those innocene days of youth, you know. But no, very true. I mean I'm kind of rocking back in that that fashion as well, because I have a son now. Yeah, yeah, so I'm kind of getting more traditional, because you asked me what was New Year's like when you were a kid? I can't remember any of them really, not one. No, seriously, even as a teenager, not a single moment, except for in my early s, there was one moment where I recall grabbing a beer out of my free just. Yeah, like twenty something. I there's some people partying in my lawn, I open the door, I step out on the stairs, I say happy new and I slipped on snow am but dum, but dum, dum, fell down the stairs, screwed myself up. Everyone's just laughing at me. Only one person ran over like, Oh my God, are you all right? And...

I guess, I guess that's the reason you're so traumatic. Yeah, wait, of its wrap up the year, Jeez. Yeah, or welcome in the new one. I suppose that's the only memory I have of any New Year's celebration. Other than that, I couldn't tell you what I've done for the last thirty nine there no clue. Yeah, it's all a blurred yeah, they be. Yeah, man, I mean, I know I'm not going to get into it too much, but I remember, yeah, like the the I had some, you know, obviously some bad new year's too, and and I know it spoke about it before, so I won't go too far into it. But yeah, men, growing up the big thing was, you know, what are you going to do in the year two thousand? We were in that generation where we were going to see the new Millennia and the new Millennium Singular Um Um. But yeah, man, it was, you know, something we looked forward to as kids. And Yeah, my story by that point it ended up really dark and yeah, like I said, I've talked about another episode, so I won't get to into it. But yeah, I ended up check that one out. Yeah, I ended up. All the people go back and listen to that son of a bitch if you want to hear the full RECA exactly, man. Yeah, just I'll just say. Yeah, new years of two thousand was not a good one. So, yeah, anyone that feels like checking that that out. I believe it was on our time traveling episode a few few episodes back, but nce plug. Yeah, you know, listen to all our episodes. They are all available where we're fine, podcasts are available. You got that right. So this year you can be playing cards. I really I don't know what I'm going to be doing. I mean I have no plans whatsoever. I think I'll be watching the ball drop on TV. Yeah, you gotta stay home, you think. Yeah, I don't really have a need to go out people. People Freak me out. Yeah, yeah, people are weird, yes, but I don't want to spend time with people right, especially when you got a young son. It's like where you gonna go? You know? I mean it's I'm not, it's just, you know, it's it's it's hard. You want to keep tracking you want him to have fun, but at the same time it's like when someone when you're that young, it's like you, like I said, I appreciated being with family and just like the excitement of just be are you going to let him stay up? You think, you know, yeah, sure, why not? That's free. Yeah, exactly. You know, if I took him somewhere, it's going to cost me money. I don't want to do that. Christmas is just happened. I'm not dishing out anymore money whatsoever to pay for any activities. So that's it. Yeah, Dude, and as a kid, you, like I said, you do appreciate that just being able to stay up. It's a fun sort of like we're kind of getting away with something, you know, and I don't know like that's I know for a fact. Like my girl's son is super exciting. LOVES ANYTIME HE GETS to stay up all night. So it's like New Year's as a is a big treat for him. He loves to he has a hard time making it through, you know, he'll always on the weekends. Occasionally he'll be like, let's stay up all night and watch movies and buy, you know, thirtys already passing out, but poor little little guy. But uh, but he's a we're looking forward to New Year's man. You know, I think my ideal night would be like a blue light special. Oh yeah, yeah, like I go to dinner at like for like the retirees and Florida. Yeah, you know, I'm like Wilfred Brimley and cocoon. Yeah, and then I basically just go to bed by thirty. But I won't do that again because I'm trying to create some kind of celebratory feeling for my kids. So so let's stay up all night, man, and watch TV? I don't know. Yeah, but I'll try to maybe make an excite he's a bunch of Nilla wafers. Eat those, get hopped up on sugar. That's another sign of my age right there. I the first sweet I could think of or treat is Nillo way. Yeah, yeah, I don't even know if they still make them go. And I want some spell of Durra Breakfast traits. Some necho wafers, yeah, those two. Yeah, some Shitty old candy. Dude, what was up? But I don't know. Did your grandmother ever have like the bowls of Shitty mints that like you know, tasted off of my grandparents always had like these old people mints and like...

...candies in a dish that we're awful. Kind of off topic, but my grandmother always had decent stuff. She's to host holidays, so it wasn't like the cheap stuff like I remember. She have like the andies. HMM, I love chocolate like the men want. See, there you go. You would have loved it over there then. and Christmas is always like nuts and cookies and all kinds of weird stuff. So now if I walk through, you know, a grocery store and I see like those packages, no marketed specifically for the holidays, it makes me think of my grandmother. Yeah, yeah, dude, no, no, sheep butter scotches laying around that household. Yeah, I don't even know what it was. They were like these chalky gross mints and they just seemed like who's buying those except for like eighty year old people? I don't know have notice sense of taste anymore. But you know, you think the person working in the factories thinking the same thing. Perhaps every fucking day come to work to make these for these eighty year old fucking dust magnets. Fuck this shit. They know they're demographic man there. Yeah, it's just call them old people, Mints. Yeah, totally. I you know. I you said you envied religious people a little bit for their compass, I guess. Or since the direction I do, will I do to next? I envy the young folk. I envy all the people out there who are in fact going out and getting thrashed on New Year's Eve. Yeah, I'm telling you now, I don't remember how I did it in the first place. Yeah, so, God bless them. Yeah, man, they have the energy, the ambition in the intestinal fortitude to get this party and done. Man, I fucking yeah, I don't have it. I'm lazy. I'll be I don't have any more here. Yeah, no way. I'll be lucky if I get a stay up till midnight, you know, but a yeah, I don't know. I never thought. I'd never thought I would be here. That's I guess that's the point of the whole show. It's just, you know, just how how different things always say it of all the time, but it's I embrace it. I'm embracing this. Man, I'm in. I'm an old, boring person who who is comfortable in my boringness. And I will enjoy a quiet card playing new year's and and it's it's not depressing that I'm not partying and twenty years old anymore. Yeah, you'll never party again. It's over. It's done, it's the end. That's it. fucking mocket on the calendar, Buddy, get Julius Caesar over here, create a new day. It's over. Yeah, can I tell you something? Sure, it's funny to me because as someone who used to be such a heavy drinker, and I really don't drink anymore, as I've mentioned on the show before, but if I stay up too late, I wake up hungover. Wow, what? Yeah, totally like the other night I was up working on a writing project. I was doing a review and I was up to like three am. Huh. The next day I wake up, I want to say thirty or something. I had to get my kid ready to school, and it wasn't even just like I'm tired. I had all the side effects of being hungover, a little bit of nausea. You know, I'm not. I was kind of like not sure where I was, that makes any sense, I was suffering dementia or something, and I thought to myself, I'm like, wow, compare hang all. Where is then to hangover? is now used to be a shot of this, a shot of that, snort a little over to this, bing, Bang, boom, and now it's like, Oh, I'm up way too late. Next Day, I'm fucking ruined. Dude. It's AMAS. Embrace that, motherfucker. Yeah, embrace that. That's that's it. We're just talking about how, before we started the show, you're talking about you pulled a muscle in your sleeves. Private. Yeah, that is private for me. How dare you bring that on the air? Well, listen, it's just it's it's pertinent. We're getting old, are are we pull muscles in our sleep? And now it's we're getting hung over without any booze. It's just, yes, you know, we need our naps. I'm brutally out of shape. Yeah, I am out of shape, but you know what, I'm changing that and I have an unofficial resolution.

No, you've sent for two thousand and nineteen. Well, they I didn't set myself up, my wife's because I had no intention of doing this whatsoever, but she saw an ad on craigslist for a elliptical machine. Oh yeah, she's like, we got to buy this is a good deal. Whatever. Whatever. I'm not a fan of craigslist because anytime you do a craigslist transaction I always worry about getting mugged, like I prepare for the worst, all right, really do. And I told her this time. I'm like, all right, here's what happens when I get out of the car. Should should someone attack me and try to rob me, just go leave me behind, say yourself and go get the cops, because you really don't know who you're dealing with. Right, right, right. So it's a freaky idea. You're meeting a stranger. Yeah, and I know they say meat in public or whatever, but this in particular was an elliptical machine. It's not like you're going to meet in the parking lot of a grocer straight right. It's big exchange and yeah, right, you have to go to their house and get it in. Wow, man. So so, anyway, you know, we that aside. We go to the House and the Guy Answers the door and have you ever seen the Netflix show making a murder? Of course, yes, he looks like fucking Steven Avery Don Avery. Yeah, he look just like Steven A. I don't know nothing, I didn't do nothing. That wasn't me. I got blood everywhere. I didn't. So anyway, I'm not trying to imply the guy's guilder innocence or whatever, but but still, just the sheer image alone my wife, my wife lamed over to me and she's, Oh my God, don't get killed, man, like you know, the whole time we're driving there and I'm like telling about the whole mugging scenario, she's like, Oh, don't worry about it, relax, but then she sees the Guy Heave. Please don't let him kill you. Yeah, no problem, baby, I'll work, I'll work, I'll do my best on that. So I get out. There's no light, wearing like the back of the House. He's got a little which I think is the greatest invention for a phone ever, is the flashlight. Oh Yeah, yeah, very I say, fuck the camera. I don't care about the camera. The flashlights the best question. But still I'm fumbling around in the dark with Steven Avery trying to get this thing into the car and we do and everything worked out well. I'm still alive. Obviously I'm here talking to you today. So that boiler alert. But yeah, we have ruined it. So sorry, everybody. I'm still breathing. But then we get the damn thing home, I put it together. It's a nice little machine and you know, basically anybody who buys exercise equipment realizes that you're really just investing in a high price hammer. Yeah, you know, close rabbi use eggs. Yes, a close rack is going to be used for a few days and then you know you're over. It is done, typical resolution. So anyway, for the last few days I've been using it because I got three in one. So they have like a stationary bike feature and as I've been sitting to them, my Pedlin and whatever. And boy, I got to tell you, man, I have a new found appreciation for the way that the flintstones would operate a vehicle. My legs and my knees are so tired, man, yeah, hard to get around in those stone cars. Man, there's y'all. Dude, totally. I I would never be able to live that way. There's no way in hell. And I mean I'm creaking and I'm cracking and I'm moving along on this bike and I'm like, Jesus, I feel like Shit. Yeah, well, it's gonna be right then. It's gonna be like that at first. Man, it's gonna break through, break through. It's gonna be like that until I throw my first pair of sweatpants. Dude, on the handlebars and something else, you know, the stacks on top and on and on and before it's just a big pile of clothing. Yeah, man, do don't leave before the miracle. Wait for the miracle happen. Huh, I don't know what could happen. What? What could the miracle be? I am so I am, and that's how I am. Is. I mean, I got a little bit of a gut. I can't lie. I mean I look in the mirror every day. I'm not going to feed you full of BS. I could get in better shape, this is true. I'm not fucking bread, Pitta, whatever will do it still. An ellipticals a good one...

...to have, man. Those are like low impact. You know. It's like they say it's really unhealthy to jog, because, well, not unhealthy, but you, you joints take a beating because you, you know, every time your feet hit the pavement it's like since shock. That's what the ellipticals for, you know, it's like low impact. My Ass, I swear a minute I tried using it in the elliptical yea, you know when you look like you're skiing. Yes, yeah, I actually that. The handlebars kind of make me feel like I am in fact, just like throttling two cocks because because the way they're maybe like a knobs on Tom something. Yeah, I can't do this, this is to no, no, no, and that's why I chose to sit down. And so, yeah, it went from from cock handling to Nique cracking to did you take like, did you take some of that Luminal Shit in a black light to make sure there's no blood stains on Steven Avery's fucking hamper elliptical machine? There it's so. I didn't, but that's a great idea, you know, speaking of the great features of a cell phone, that's one that we need. Yes, black life. We put some money into that. Yeah, you go into an hotel room and did you never sleep in a hotel again? Yeah, right, is how cumbersome is a traditional black light? You know? Well, I mean, I'm I'm sure you know. I'm sure you can buy little oer ones, but that would be a that would be a cool little feature to have. It's kind of a niche market, though. Niche market no, no, no, not anymore. That true crime stuff is huge. Everybody is doing true crime. I mean not to you know, Shit on any other podcast, but I mean good crisis. Thousands and thousands. Yeah, not these true crime shows. I'm sure they'd all love the cell phone, black light boom and all whatever. Whatever APP you know what happy APP yes, Copyright, trademark, all that Shit, right here on the selling out show. Nate Gorezinski came up with that idea, fucking a, and I'm along for the ride, so I'm included in that as well. We're gonna be millionnaire man this. We all be rich. Seriously, that's my new years resolution. I'm going to try to patent that fucking thing, you know, the gas going nowhere from? Yeah, exactly, as going nowhere, just like my exercise routine. Yeah, that's it. That's over. But yeah, craigslist, man, it's an interesting place to visit, and in fact I been reading some some weird craigslist ads of late. Oh, yeah, to tell, yeah, no, I shall tell. Tune into the all new dueling decades. The game we are you become a retro warrior and play along at home as the s and s fight it out over Earth's mightiest topics. I'm the S A I totally awesomeness. Will destroy the S on dueling decade. Sid Julian, the s will never beat the S, brother. Nope, not gonna happen, not tonight, not never. The S is going to snap the s like a meat stick. Brother. Oh Yeah, I'm the Honorable Judge Cross and when you're in my cult room, baby, I'm gonna Judge you like Ryan hold. I'm here to uphold law and order, like Mariska Cockete, Julian, the s is gonna beat the s over the head with a piece of the AH grow crag. Listen to all the fun now for free at Pool CULTURECOM. Do you need a New Year's resolution that you can actually stick to this year? I've got a great one for you. Start Two thousand and nineteen by finally quitting that deadly habit of smoking cigarettes. I know you're probably thinking, I've been trying to stop for years and nothing ever works. Will Guess what? Northland Vapor Company is here to help. There's no reason to be intimidated by the idea of vaping. With retail locations in Bemidge and more head, Minnesota, northland makes it easy for you to walk in and start your journey to a better lifestyle. Northland Vapors Outstanding Line of e liquids are proudly made in North Dakota and contain no dike tones or artificial sweeteners. Northland Vapor's motto is quality doesn't...

...need to be costly, so you can be confident knowing that you're getting the best product available at a price that won't break the bank. No more excuses. Make two thousand and nineteen the year that you decide to live a better life and finally break free from smoking cigarettes. For more information, visit Northland vaporcom. Some products contain nicotine adults only. Here's an interesting one from the Detroit Metro area. Titles want to watch a live birth on mushrooms. Yeah, and the ad reads. Hey, they're my friends and I were trying to figure out the craziest thing we could do on magic mushrooms and realize that watching a live childbirth would be by far the most incredible, mind blowing experience that we could think of. So, Oh yeah, they're looking for a woman with the child who would permit five respectful twenty seven year old men to watch her give birth while on magic mushrooms. They do say compensation is negotiable, but for sure at least a hundred dollars per person. With the knowledge of knowing that you just blew some people's minds, how can you resist? Man, I'm surprised that they must have a million takers. You know, I you know. The money actually isn't that bad. Yeah, you know, we're speaking what they say, five guys, so that's five hundred bucks. Let someone come in and watch something that's happening anyway, right, and it's negotiable. It could go up. You know, that's Bait. True, baseline, five hundred exactly, but still, the idea of having I don't know, cheach and Chong stand giggler. It's an important moment. Absolutely, you want them in the room. Yeah, that's that's weird. I don't know. I think for the guys that are that hopefully make this happen, I mean anyone who's done hallucinogenic drugs like you can imagine how fucking mind blowing that would be like. I don't know, man, that's that's some crazy shit, I think. I think all the screaming and labor pain stuff would would freak me out though, give you a bad true, you know. But Yeah, be careful what you wish for their guys. I know that could be at all. That ever happened? Yeah, Oh, yeah, big time. You Kid me. R next one I've got here is titled Joe on rails. I think this is one of those personal ass who says forty eight Philly meeting, that he's forty years old. He wrote want, age twenty five to seventy, guy to come over and Joe, Joe, Jo in my model train room, mutual touch what. What do you got? You know at Jo means right. What's that? Jerk off? Yeah, okay, that just came to me too. Yeah, me too. My subconscious mind is so dirty. All right, so he wants to come to his model train room, mutual touching and stuff, but nothing more than that. I'm not gay. HMM. It's all HOS scale. How scale it was? Aho Stand for night a shows scale? I don't know. I have no idea. Skilled hands on hand. Maybe then after you finish, you could stop around and kick the trains and buildings like a monster. Don't break. They are my son's. We can do this until four am or until we get tired. Also, I have lots of imitation crab meat in my freezer that I get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It's all perfectly good. Be just got too much to a Joe, Joe and Philly. He's down for a good time, baby. This is a man who I respect. He knows what he wants. He's got a very specific fetish and he embraces it and says hey, look, you know, this is who I am. If you want to come help me, you know what I think. You know, it's interesting though. I thought of I had read years ago the autobiography of one Marilyn Manson...

...and he had this story about when he was a kid his, I believe it was his grandfather. He went downstairs and was like he snuck down to his grandfather's basement and there was like a train room his his grandfather would turn on the model train to cover the sounds of him jerking off, and so he was down there and watched hidden, his grandfather jerking off. So I'm like, is that Marilyn Manson? You know what I'm thinking out is the imitation crab meat. Yeah, not the meat itself, but the fact he's got a freezer it is whom should be a red flag right there. I mean, could you fitty human body in it? I don't know, most likely. That's a little weird. It sounds a little sounds a little set up ish. You know, go to his house. I don't know if you, if you respond to an ad like that, though, you're aren't? You kind of asking for it, you know what I mean? Like that, dude sounds a little as much as I respect him for, like I said, embracing his his fetishes, I feel like if you're if you respond to that thing, you you know what you're in for. This is this is not going to be a normal meat and potatoes kind of night, you know. But I don't know. I could go for kicking a few model trains. Oh, you what I said. I could go for some model trains. Yeah, I could kick some model trains, eat some imitation crab me fuck sounds like good night. I don't know about the jerking off thing, but you know, I'd kick some model trains and eat some fucking whitefish. That looks like crab meat. That's like Polo say. Imitation crab meat is like pollock, it's like whitefish. I don't know. I anyway, like sea food, imitation or otherwise? Yeah, I can't speak to it, you know. Yeah, I have another misconnection here, okay, and this one is going to the beautiful lady who saw me pooping. Hmm hmmy taking a huge poop in the fifteen pe pizza bathroom. Fifteen P I don't know if there's a franchise. You, drunk beautiful discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste. Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state, and especially since it didn't seem to bother me that you walked in remade eye contact for a brief moment. You have the most beautiful brown eyes. No Pun intended. I said Hey, beautiful lady, right is you slam the door, and I meant it. Everyone poops, and now that you see me pooping, I feel like we've already moved a relationship to a higher level. If you read this and feel the same way, respond I hope the smell didn't offend you. I ate Indian food for lunch. I really hope he found that. Lucky Lady. I have so too. I hope. I hope she found that. I hope I hope that's that's a story for a fucking romantic comedy, man, you know, that's like think, yeah, I don't know, and he's got a point. I was thinking the same thing as you were reading it about like they've already moved past that awkward like pooping in front each other stage, you know. And I don't know, man, if she can handle his his Aromas, that's you know, it's kind of like trial by fire getting through the the worst of it right away. But I don't know. I have a feeling, though, that that one's that one may not come to fruition. I don't know, just being realistic, I find it. I don't like the fact you called a phase. This is something that happens with couples that you don't mind seeing each other poop. Well, I just I mean, I I guess it's one of those things. Certain couples are just more comfortable with it than others, but I don't even want to acknowledge the fact that my partner poops. Yeah, totally, that's what I mean. Like on occasion something might happen or you walk into the bathroom when they're finished. You know, you can expist. It happens and happen to be like Hey, I'm gonna go brush my teeth while you're doing that. No, it's just gonna yeah, no, so, yeah, no, no, no, yeah, but, yeah, yeah, have you ever walked in this somebody while they were doing something, like a stranger? Um, I'm sure I have. You know, nothing comes to mind, but I don't know nothing. Nothing scarred me so much where it's like emblazoned into my memory. Oh, yeah, it happened to me. Yeah, and I'm I'm scared. Oh Yeah, you've heard a Larping, right,...

...the live action role playing? Yeah, yeah, I hit you with a seed, a packet of seeds, and you go down in pain or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, just to explain to the listeners who may not be familiar that, yeah, it is. It's like a live action sort of run place and dragons. Yeah, live action role playing, larping. So you're actually fighting in costumes, pretending to be wizards and warriors and whatnot. So, okay, gone, I'm sorry. So, yes, I always dressed up like a wizard of warrior, something I find. Like thirteen years old and I went to go use the restroom in one of these places and I opened the door and there's a woman sitting in there who's dressed like a gypsy and she freaked out that I opened the door but it wasn't locked and she got up and, just like in revenge of the NERDS, we've got Bush. Yeah, and it was massive. Dude, like I was, I couldn't believe it. I mean, at that point in time I still fairly innocent. Yeah, yeah, so I didn't watch a lot of movies, especially the s ones, where that would be much more prominent. So I was like, I was shocked. I stood there and AH, how this massive, you know, hipsy bushy, Gipsy Bush. Thank you very much. Yeah, so that image is burned into my psyche. Wow, man, those earthy, crunchy Gypsies. Man, you know, I'm going to put a craigslist ad for her right now. Like you were dressed like a gypsy, I was dressed like an ORC. All right, need a volunteer to give me a vasectomy. HMM, this person, who assume is a man. Of course, vasectomy at all. Well, I do have health insurance, believe it or not, but it's useless to pay for a vasectomy since I'm only twenty four. I've wanted one since I was sixteen. I have one kid already and don't ever want another, though I love the one I have, of course. Anyway, my doctor said it would be impossible until I'm thirty or have four kids. I'm hoping I don't have four kids before turning thirty, but accidents happen. Would you like to stop accidents? He kind of goes on here about abortions and stuff. I I won't really get into that. And he also he got he wants it pro bono. I don't know why he's pulling in legal. Legally he's into the way the sectomy thing, but I hope they called Sir charity at this point. If it's not a legal it's you know, would you just come over for free and Hook me up? Yeah, yeah, but he wanted to try to sound fancy. You do a pro Bono you just wants to be like hey, can you do it for fucking free? This is some basement level surgery we're talking about. I don't know anybody beside it's like Dr Giggles. Yeah, yeah, dude, it's like the monty python the meaning of life movie. It was like, you know, I forget what the thing was it was like do it yourself surgeries or something. There was I don't know if any of any of our listeners have seen the monty python movie the meaning of life. There was definitely a scene where a guy was performing surgery in his living room on someone and there was no anesthetic and it was just bloody and a lot of screaming and so funny. One of the lesser known kind of Monty Python movies, I think. You know. I think the real misconnection here was this guy and the guys who want to do shrooms and see a birth. Yeah, man, but don't take don't take mushrooms and perform of a sectomy on me, though. No Right, but they could get their minds blown by seeing this happening. Little Snip, SNIP. Yeah, and I think when I go to get my Vasecto me, I'm going to take mushrooms. What I mean? You're going to get a vasecto me. What are you? I've stood. I've been wanting to for a long time. I just haven't gotten around to it. But yeah, man, no, no, my friend, you can't do that. Why? It's our right as men that we can make seeds until any dead. Yeah, why would? Why would you take that away. Dude. I don't know if if I've mentioned this before, but yeah, I feel like my whole life it's been my life's duty to not reproduce. So it's a miracle that I've gotten this long without. It's just a testament to my sheer laziness that I have gotten the a surgery done yet. But Yeah, man,...

I don't know. It's well, that's what Jim Socks are for, not surgery. Okay, yeah, but you know, it's I feel like it's it's an insurance policy. Well, send you're not coming or actually going into fruition with your your APP on the black light them and all blacks lay. Yeah, we'll start to go fund me so you can make here your balls put somewhere in a jack. I don't know. I'm over thirty. I don't know. I don't even know that was the thing you're talking about. Like this guy. You know, health insurance won't cover it if you're under thirty unless you have like four kids. All right, so what if you're under thirty and you already have four kids? The doctors like, all right, you've made your point. I'm cutting your fucking nuts. You paid you does yeah, dude, that's enough. I don't know. I don't know if anything in any of these ads are how truthful they are. Yeah, and especially from this guy again, with the whole pro Bono Shit. He's probably just fucking that was coming out of his ass. It's just silly shit. My doctor says I've gotta have four kids. That are I got to be thirty years old. This all fuck it bullshit. Insurance is weird, man, the shit they'll pay for. Noah, that's that is true, but still, I don't know. But you know, here we get some more as. I'm not going to get into him. I will say some of them are more visual, one of which is about buying mannequins dress like amish people and things of that nature. But you know, let's get away from craigslist, because I feel a little icky. Yeah, already looking with these ads. Let's get wandering into the dark side of craigslist here. Yeah, exactly. So what do you say? We take him quick commercial break and when we return, NYCE notes. Sounds good. Day from the selling out show, here to tell you about spunk loub spunk loube is a multi award winning mover can't used by professionals in the adult film industry. Spunk is available in hybrid pure silicone, natural and pink. Spunk is made with the highest quality ingredients and is non stating, hypoellogenic and cleans with ease. Enhance your love life with spun. Right now, spunk loube is by three, get one free. There's no excuse not to give it a try. SPUNK LOUB A high end product for an affordable price. Is it? Spunk loubecom today and you can thank me later. Does Stop Your LPS? It's time for nate. No, no, save for a year or two of piano lessons as a kid, I never had any formal music training. I like the piano and it was a good instrument to start on. Simple concept. You hit a key and it makes a note. I was able to figure out some interesting stuff and honestly, I feel like I got more from just playing around on it as a kid than I did from the lessons I took. To be fair, that is solely my fault. I've always been super lazy and unmotivated when its too doing assigned work on my own. That's why, despite being a national merit scholarship nominee for my sat scores. I still went through an uncertain period senior year of high school where I thought I may not graduate because I never did homework. Take him assignments or projects mostly went unfinished unless I could scramble something together in the morning when they were due and class before the starting bell rang. It was. It was similar with my piano lessons. I'd neglect the assignment all week and then try to brush up a little like an hour before leaving for my lesson. The Old Lady who taught me didn't seem impressed, but she didn't really care, as long as the checks cleared, you know. But eventually I gave up completely on those lessons. A couple friends and I were becoming far more interested in guitar and Bass centered stuff, being that I was growing up in the dawn of Nirvana and quote grunge. We were introduced to that old punk Rock Credo to learn a couple chords and then just play them like you mean it. We...

...were typical eleven or twelve year old kids, with everything about the band all set to go. Band name, logo, maybe some song titles, but just no instruments or skills yet. I was a big fan of faith the more and Primus and some other bands with prominent Bass Guitar and them, so I figured that's the direction I'd go. My other friends were into drums and guitar respect of Lee, so it worked out. So on my twelve birthday my folks got me my first base and a serviceable amp. I was an interested in lessons for that and I had a decent sense of melody. So when I wasn't jamming with my buddies, I was just in my room playing alone, and since I didn't know any better, I'd play the bass kind of like a guitar, with chords that I was either figuring out or just creating out of whole cloth. I had a good ear, so I could occasionally figure out an existing song, but I was always more interested in just figuring out cool melodies on my own. That band was a good experience for a kid just kind of bashing shit out. I think we learned like Pearl Jam's Jeremy, which was big at the time, but other than that we just made stuff up. At one point a friend came over and showed us what a bar cord was, or power chord if you will, and that changed everything. Eventually that band just fell apart, another casualty of my laziness, coupled with the fact that I was starting to smoke pot and the other guys weren't really cool with that, so we drifted apart. A quick ironic addendum to that is that years later, after not hanging out with those guys for like five years, that guitarist, who you know wasn't cool with me smoking pot, got me my first bag of heroin. Strange how paths can diverge yet end up in similar woods. But Anyway, I'm going off like I usually do. But the point of all this personal history that I'm trying to get to is it I never got into playing other people's music back then. Other projects followed and each one was more concerned with writing our own shit experimenting with sound. If I want to sound pretentious, when people I'd meet would find out that I played music, they'd always ask Hey, can you play this or that, and it was far more frequent once I got an acoustic six string. Suddenly everyone wanted to hear Shit like the day the music died, or some grateful dead or even the newly released Acoustic version of Stone Temple pilots plush. That one I did kind of figure out, at least enough to appease the person requesting it, but but they'd always kind of looked disappointed when I'd snottily reply that I don't play other people's music. I just kind of make shuit up and, to be honest, despite feeling a little selfconscious every time someone would ask me that Shit, I had no interest in playing other people's music. I was in a band that did pretty well playing our own shit and, except for a surprise cover here or there, the crowds back then were largely uninterested in hearing a full set of someone else's Shit. They'd just as soon go see the original band if they wanted to hear their music. So as more time passed, as I've alluded to add nauseum on this podcast, my life ended up becoming a nightmare of opiate trashiness. Any bands I worked with fell apart, I sold most of my equipment, spent my twenties either in cars or in details, blah, blah blah, and you know. But I'd occasionally use the Shitty Acoustic Guitar that I somehow ended up with, warped neck and perpetually missing strings, and all to stem for money at the intersections in Worcester Mass. I did it there purposely, at the intersections, at the lights, because people would be at the light in their car for maybe thirty seconds before it turned green and if they were going to give me cash, they did it, most importantly, without time to ask me to play a familiar tune. This is why I didn't post up at the common in the city center like a normal busker, but that's...

...where my music had gone to just using the guitar to make some money. But during my most recent I don't want to jinx myself by saying last jail sentence, however, I ended up meeting a kindred musical spirit, also called Nate, who have mentioned in other segments and episodes past. When both of us were back on the street, we started getting together with some other friends of his and doing these improvised sets of you know Jam's, you know, at an overly accommodating bar that we play at about once a month. We all just kind of gelled and we were able to bounce off each other fairly effortlessly, resulting in completely different sets every show. Until one night someone said hey, that riff sounds kind of like the way by Fastball, the song that was around round at the time, and we kind of figured it out on the spot, realizing, Oh hey, maybe we can play this, you know, without too much flubbery. The next thing you know, at different shows, members were suggesting different songs and our sets became more and more a collection of various cover songs, punctuated by our Improv jams every couple songs, and I learned that I'm actually not too bad at figuring out other people's music, at least on the base, when accompanied by the rest of the band. The venues this band them in now tends to play as a group of three thousand, two hundred and fifty somethings, are actually often more appreciative of familiar music. We play a lot of restaurants and bars, some festivals. Here they're private parties. The crowds definitely appreciate the improvised pieces we throw in and we're often asked what was that instrumental thing you were just playing? But at venues like this we know what side of our bread is buttered. You know, hey, this show is called selling out. There's no shame in my game. We get paid pretty well. To you know, learn some songs that already exist and a lot less brain power is required to reach the desired effect. Although that's not fair, it's definitely challenging. I I should say that it's a different kind of brain power required it. I've just got a fairly easy part. Many classic songs have surprisingly simple bass lines. I would never say it's easy for my guitarist friends to play Hendricks or Sabbath Guitar Solos. But the point is with cover songs there's a template, almost a musical Stencil, that one can use to entertain people, and our band definitely puts our own spin on the songs we play. So, despite sounding familiar, they become something more individual and personal. We work with a Mandolin player, a Keyboardist, of violinist and a bunch of other you know, hand drums, hand percussion, along with the traditional guitar, Bass Drums Combo. So it's definitely not your typical cover of purple haze or burning down the house. We keep it diverse enough where it's never strictly like a s or s night. We put our own twist on some cart popular songs to so hopefully the crowd doesn't get bored, but more importantly, neither do those of US playing the music. So there it is. I'm an old guy in a cover band, a thing I never thought I'd be but, more surprisingly and definitely more importantly, I'm enjoying the hell out of it. Like our arrangements of the music and the Improv pieces we still play are more than enough to keep my music making muscles well exercised, and I still write stuff at home on my Acoustic Guitar or whatever instrument I pick up that works as the emotional outlet that initially drew me to music in the first place. So, so, so, yeah, cool man. I you know, here I am an old guy playing in a cover band at bars and restaurants and and I'm cool with it, man, you know, I'm not. Like I...

...said, I still like to play my music. I still like to, I mean, create my own stuff, but but dude, I have I'm having a lot of fun. I've learned. It's just a different thing, you know. And you know, hey, hey, play he do me. I want to make up with my old lady. Can you play a love hurts by as worth. You do that for me, please. That's that's that's one we don't do man Fok. But yeah, man, believe it or not, it's fun. Man. We were just learning some like Queens of the Stone Age stuff and, you know, like we're learning a few new songs this week because we have a show this Saturday and and man, I never would have thought like over the last like couple years that I've been playing in this band, man, like I've realized like the number of other people's songs that I now know for someone who couldn't even play anything. If someone asked me as a kid, you know, can you play this or that, I literally like yeah, I knew like stunt table pilots, plush on the Acoustic. That was about it, right. But now I've got like this list. I mean I can play the bass lines to do dozens and dozens of songs. That which is fun. You know, it's kind of cool, you know. But I want to speak your origins for a second, because you are, you are one hell of a piano player. I've heard you play well. Why is it that all piano instructors have to be old ladies? I don't know, man. It's funny because I actually went through to two different ones, like I went to one for a few months and then something happened. I don't know when her I don't even remember why. I stop going to her, but then that a rex what? Yeah, whatever it was, she had, you know, her liver spots were getting out of control. But but anyway, the I went to another teacher. Same thing. She was almost identical to the first woman. Same Haircut, same height, same age, roughly it was. It's weird. I think they're interchangeable. It's like a grown in a lab. Dude. It's a race of beings that the piano teachers are their own race, you know. But yeah, I don't know, man. I yeah, I enjoy playing the piano. I my thing nowadays is that I'm I'm pissed at myself for not taking advantage of lessons more and and I still think occasionally I should. You know, nowadays you can find everything online, right could I feel like a lot of the amazing guitarists, drummers whoever you'll see in a lot of bands that are young and like, and I'm talking like metal shredder guitarists and crazy drummers, a lot of them say they've they just learned from watching tutorials on fucking youtube and shit. So so I don't know, I'm I'm still too lazy to take advantage of it, but but I feel like learning other people's these cover songs has helped me a lot actually. You know, I've learned. I've learned some more shit. I feel like I've been playing so long at this point. That I mean with the years of, you know, fucking around and not really being interested in music. You know, that's that's its own thing, but but for as long as I've been playing. Yeah, I'm okay, but I could be so much better if I really did take it seriously and, you know, take lessons. So I don't know, it's I like that you guys put your own spin on the songs. Yeah, I mean the other night I was watching PBS and they had a Beatles cover band. I guess you like the biggest Beatles cover band in the world. They do tours and they were doing like one of those donation things, like donate to PBS and this is the package that you'll get, and one of the things was take it to the show, but the other thing was a CD and I thought to myself, why would anybody want a beatle cover band CD when they're playing the Beatles songs. You can just get the original beatle CD alive show. Sure, yeah, but if you're saying, you know, hey, listen, we're doing covers, but we're tweaking them, we're making them, yeah, more modern, little bit more fun, or maybe adding more rock infused into this song that was a little bit more mellow, right, then yeah, I can see a lot of attraction to that. Absolutely, man. That's what I'm saying. That's I feel like if we were just doing a by the numbers fucking version of every song we did, I I wouldn't be as excited about it.

I I like the fact that here and there will throw in a weird like our do we have this violinist who is he's amazing do this guy. I mean he's been playing for forever apparently, and he's it's like dawn of time, Dude. He rifts out on this violin, dude, it's like and he'll throw effects on it and whatnot to kind of make it all spacey. And so sometimes we'll be playing like a pink Floyd Song and throw in this like echoed out, phased out violin solo that just throws the whole they like it, really, really does make this weird psychedelic effect, man. So and then our mandolin player, like I said, that's that's so an interesting sound you don't hear everywhere. So it's it is different. You know, we play. Will play like a reggae version of, you know, for what it's worth, by Buffalo Springfield or whatever. You know, we do like different takes. We did some. We did like a reggae version of paranoid by Black Sabb at that one point. Yeah, man, we we keep it interesting. You know, it's not boring. Hell, you keeps saying Psychedelia. I'm thinking less dinner club more. But truly, you know what, all those things I used to kick around where those names as a little ball, akey sack, hacky's. Thank you, hacky sack. Crowd here. Yeah, well, a lot of hacky sacks in the crowd, nate. Well, you figure those people that were kicking on hacky sacks in the s are probably on their s and upwards of fifty now. So they we probably are playing for a lot of those people, you know. But yeah, I mean, dude, it depends on the venue. I mean we if we're playing that like a restaurant and people are eating dinner and it's like a bunch of families. You know, we might it might be a little tamer, but that some of these shows, man. I mean we'll do covers of misfits. We're covering like skulls. We are actually doing while people eating dinner. Yeah, no, no, this, but that's what I'm saying. Like some of these songs we wouldn't do in a setting like that. Like I'm not singing about hack the heads off little girls and hang them on my wall, like the misfits lyrics in a fine dining establishment. Necessarily, yes, but you know, depends on how many drinks we've had to sometimes we're just having fun and we just yeah, we, we are. I don't know, but it's funny as when goes down to the toddler over there enjoying his hut doll on his stick. Yeah, what the Fuck, man, see if lesh turned inside out? Yeah, yeah, I mean time last time we do. You know, we do some some more bizarre and obscure tracks, but I mean we have a lot of fun playing like, yeah, we'll play talking heads and, like I said, like just, I don't know, it's a lot of fun. It's school amassing, you know, that's all that matters. That's really all that counts, is that you're having a good time doing it and you're still experimenting. Yeah, like you said, to your learning a lot by playing other people's songs and you're an amazing songwriter in your own right. So there's nothing to do but grow there. There is a lot of room to expand your horizons, right. So so, yeah, just that's my don't hire nate to do bar mitsas yeah, yeah, you know, so get that. Yeah, I just don't want to be there for I don't know, I feel like we could scar the kids. I feel like at a Bar Mitsfied, let loose, get a little crazy, you know, because that's that's that's a boy coming to manhood, man, you can fucking truth. That's another cool thing, man. We play at these. When I was a kid, it was all playing at the hardcore shows or, you know, clubs this and that, and now that we're playing these places, it's like getting a free meal at this restaurant, Get Free Beers here, you know whatever. It's like. It's like those little perks on top of the pay you get are pretty cool, man. So I used to play for Crystal Myth but now I play for Salisbury steak. That's that's right, man. MMM. Well, much like you having fun playing other songs, I hope everybody had fun tuning into this episode of selling out. I want to thank each and...

...every one of them. Wish you a happy New Year, no matter how insignificant it may be in the grand scale of things. But Hey, I want to wish you good tidings anyway. Absolutely everyone you know, have a safe and happy new year, and don't fucking make some resolution that you can't keep and you know it. Don't even bother with the fucking resolutions. Fuck it. Make a resolution to have no more resolutions. Are you going? Don't answer any craigslist ads that include imitation crab meat. I am Dave. That is nate, and this has been selling out piece. So infirmary media. This is no ordinary subshop. This is fire house ups. Tired of overpriced lunches that under deliver on Flavor, head to fire house ups where, for a limited time, you can get a four hundred and ninety nine choice sub. Choose from a medium smoke, Turkey, Virginia, honey, ham or roast beef. Their custom made hot subs that are price ready made to make you smile. Just four hundred and ninety nine only at firehouse ups. Enjoy more subs, save more lives, participating locations plus tax, Lembit time. AFEL prices may vary for delivery. This is no ordinary subshot. This is fire house ups. Tired of overpriced lunches that under deliver on flavor, head to firehouse ups, where, for a limited time, you can get a four hundred and ninety nine choice sub. Choose from a medium smoke Turkey, Virginia, honey, ham or roast beef. Their custom made hot subs that are price ready, made to make you smile. Just four hundred and ninety nine only at firehouse ups. Enjoy more subs, save more lives, participating locations plus tax, limit time. AFEL prices may vary for delivery.

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