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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode · 1 year ago

Ep.#61 BACON!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hello galaxy! On this little ditty we discuss struggling with creativity, how to cure a hangover, having a piss poor vocabulary, toxic teenage angst in music form: NIN vs Alanis Morissette, double standards and just how many dicks are too many. So strap in for another wild audio experience from your pals at The Selling Out Show. 

... period of time I couldn't piss without someone watching. Oh, come to those selling out show you. What it does is breaches into your brain chemically and no, cat your happiest memory chemically, and then knocks on that emotion. It releases it chemically and then it keeps your happy, happy. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the selling out show, where we screw up life at our leisure for your listening pleasure. I am one of your host David Schultz, and over here by my side I have two fine gentlemen, one of which is Toby Scofield and the other my good old pal nate Gorzinski. Gentleman, how are you this fine day? It's pretty simple for me to answer this right now. Hungover, hum over. Yeah, I'm less hungover. I'm I think. I think I go through my life in a somewhat state. I did so much getting fucked up when I was younger that my whole life is one long sort of hangover. But that but, uh, but it's I'm no words. You will hung over net yeah, yeah, but I'm all right. Dave, how are you doing? Man, I'm all right. I guess I'm a little tired. I'm just been in a funk lately. I seem like I'm always in a funk every time I talk to someone. How are you? Um, okay, I should just lie to everybody tell them I'm fucking fantastic. I got an umbrella like Mary poppins or some Shit. That's what you do at the grocery store. When you know you're checking out. There like how's your day? You're like you don't break down and you're like actually, let me tell you that the bills. Let me tell you about the work. Why not? We should. We should start lear more and a more honest society where, yeah, when somebody asks how are you, just like well, you know, I got laid off. My bus tried to suck my Dick and I don't even think he's hot. And you got it. I was gonna say break down into tears to the cashier. Be Like in my moss tried to suck my Dick. It's like, Whoa, tell me more, please, not even good at it. Oh my God. You know, that would be an interesting like podcast show, like if you worked out like a checkout, like just a little interviews with people. Be Like Hi, how's Your Day? Be Honest, because this is for a podcast. Yeah, get Hannam over a microphone and say, all right, talking to this for while we're checking you out. We'll see. I'm kind of an idea. Yeah, I'm antisocial, though, so I'm going to talk to the automatic teller, one of those robot ones. Instead. It's like, would you like a pay with cash or car? Instead of pushing the button, I'll be like I've got no will a layout the things like stop biting at me, you little bitch. But now I don't know, man, I just I've been like all stead set, I'm being creative and fulfilling the dreams I've had my entire life. And Yeah, I sit in front of the TV like a moth to flame, and then I realize I'm wasting time. I'm like, why am I just sitting here vegging out when I have all these ideas in my head and I have limbs, I have digits, I have ways to express them, I have my mouth, but you probably isn't as efficient as your boss, but still, you know what I mean. Instead, I'm just watching the same show I've seen a couple times and you could say, Oh, I'm using it for inspiration or something, but that's bullshit, because I'm late now. But that's the thing. I'm lazy. Yeah, join the club man. We're all lazy. I did this. We have so much potential. You know, we're like I think. I think all three of us are pretty creative folks. You know and and I. We have this outlet, which is great, and we're able to just kind of let our brains pour out into the the ether. But but overall, I know, you know myself, I love creating, a love making music. You know, I always talked about music on the show and I've talked about how I still play in bands and and lately I've been grateful because I was able to start jamming with my buddies again. And now all of a sudden, half of my friends are nervous because of the new covid re spike, whatever, the new outbreak, the whatever, and so it's like over to Oh, a lot of people, a lot of people are nervous to get together and jam. That's what sucks, but whatever. You know. Well, in that case, wouldn't? Can you just do it on zoom? Maybe a jam, or just send each other tracks and then, yeah, overlay. I mean there's till I know, I'm like no, you're right, but I'm just saying there's like other avenues for certain things like that. You know...

...what I mean? I don't know. Yeah, but it goes back to lazy. Yeah, that's why I was just going to say, yeah, that was all right. Well, it's just gonna say with that I got the laziness too, though. I mean, you know, I love painting. I painted like two pictures back to back and then, like was I bought like six canvases. I was really motivated and then once I had all those canvases, I was like, oh, that's so much, so much work. I don't want to start another project, even like my my original podcast, like I'm so lazy to do the research and it's it's motivation. And I tried to do a new project this week. It kind of got detoured because of a small emergency. Oh Shit, I was gonna do drunk cooking. Okay, the concept is that I'm very, very picky and and I was going to call it getting cooking while toby with drunk and because I'm really picky and I don't try new things, I was going to force myself to try new foods. I was going to teach myself how to cook, because I love cooking, but I cook for me. So, you know, it's it's simple stuff. Yeah, and then I'm gonna get drunk just for the funniness of it. While I was setting up, I had a friend come over and her two year old got scratched on the face by my new kitten and it left a big, huge like gap on his face. So we ran up to the emergency room and kind of it, kind of put that on hold until next week. Wow, he had to get kids stitches. How is yeah, expecting something completely different when you brought up the whole cooking show ideas. Expecting like a Dan ackroid Julia Child, you know, kind of style of blood rushing your drinking the sherry. Well, yeah, exactly, like you lost a finger, but you like no, no, it's just that toddler get scratched by my cat. You know, it's funny because all my friends were like please, you not cut off your finger. So the first thing I did was I posted a picture on like snapchat and stuff of the emergency room and everyone was like, everyone was like, what the Fuck did you do? And I'm like no, no, not for me, but it was funny to get everyone all worked up and scared. Yeah, but who would have thought? You know, of all the things that can go wrong a drunk cooking show, kitten scratch not high on the list. Yeah, that's the thing. I wasn't even I hadn't even take can one drink yet. I was still setting up all my lives and my cameras and I was trying to get it all like we're doing. I want to stand and then all of a sudden he started crying and then we were like what happened? And then his face just started bleeding. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. So wow, yeah, it's awful. Yeah, I hope you at least used some of that blood to season the food. Know, I still have all the food in my refrigerator. This was about four days ago and I keep telling myself I'm gonna do it tonight and then of course something comes up. Back to the laziness I had to watch, and had watch all the I'm going through all the wrong turn movies. So yeah, that's that kind of detoured my cooking show and my creativity. Nothing like the in Bread Mountain, people cheer you up. Yeah, exactly, you know. And just I want to get back on this real quick, sure is that toby brought up something very interesting to me that I can relate to. Okay, well, to us. He didn't bring up to me personally, just the entire world at large. But how you mentioned that you got really excited, so you bought a lot of paints and you did a couple canvases and you went all going home into it and then poof, it was goes. I can relate to this because when I look at my life and I go what am I doing with myself, I'm wasting every moment, precious moment I have left. I jump on the computer, I start writing because I have this kind of show it. You know how the sausage is made. I get this swamp thing story. I love swamp thing I've wanted to tell for years. I've had note scribbled everywhere. I've always promised myself I'd do it. I never have and, for example, the other night I had another one of those moments where my brain was on fire, and I mean I am up till three hundred and thirty four in the morning to cook a e clack type in a way. Yes, I'm finally doing it, I'm fulfilling my life's May Shun. That was what, like a week and a half ago. Oh Man. So, yeah, a little slow and to get started. Sometimes this, well, we're talking years here in nate. This is not you know that. You just kind of really slow. Yeah, you made it kind of like Oh, when I said, oh, that was a week and a half ago. But I mean I came up with this concept, which I think might be one of the finest swamp thing stories of all time, many, many moons ago. Move over, Alan Moore. No, not quite, I'm sure, but at this rate I don't think anybody's moving anywhere. But yeah, so it's been frustrating to me and I don't know, like it's like...

...that that block that you put on yourself, that it that invisible wall that you put in your own mind, you built that's impossible to scale or run through or anything. Where does this come from? How do I break through it? It is weird. It is weird like that that sudden like surge of motivation where you're like, I'm doing this, I've bought six canvases, I'm about to paint all my masterpieces in the next three months. And then like I get home and I'm I look at the blank canvas and I'm just like, I don't know what to even. I don't have anything coming to mind of what I want to what I want to recreate, because I I mostly do like images like from movies and stuff, and it's interesting. It just like there was nothing that like grabbed me and I was like you should brank this, and it just now. All the canvasses have been stacked up in my living room for I don't know, three or four weeks. Yet toby always finds enough time to masturbate every morning. Way I know, and that was that crazy is a hero. But I think some people look at blank canvases and see potential and like, look at all this room I have to play with, and sometimes it just looks like, look at all this shit I gotta do. Man, you know, and I understand that I'm kind of kind of at that point. I think a lot of us are, and it sounds like the three of us are. We're all feeling a little daunted by our selfmade obstacles or whatever, even if that's just laziness. But I do want to quickly say, when you said I want to create my masterpieces. I feel like masterpieces is one of those words that sounds like it should have a different plural, like like master poops m I T. Yeah, I don't know. Is that right? Like you're master pie messed upon. There you go. You know, a lot of people think octopusses. Maybe we've talked about this before, but octopie. People say OCTOPI, but octopuses is the correct term. Oh, is it? I've always thought it was Octopie, like I've been the one that's you know when, Oh, actually, it's a Humm the fine yes, a lot of people do. A lot of people it's. And who knows, the way our society goes, when enough people start saying something, they just change the fucking dictionary. Man. I know what wached about that before. Wait, wait, by that logic, if we all start saying three inches is huge and we get that going known, it's he us we're going to we're setting the new standard right here. Three inches. Yeah, but I think it's just grammar that that works with. I don't think reality and Dick size is affected. You know what, I was a young man, I thought my vocabulary was very good. And I was even people have even said to me, you know, you were very well spoken and what have you. But the older I get, the more stupid I become. And Nate has has brought up when I say things incorrectly on the show many, many times, to the point where I've even subscribed. Who One of those word of the day emails? Nice? Yeah, well, I get it every day. I look at it, go interesting and then I never remember the word. So there you go. Well, does that fall into the laziness of like you like you had motivation to try to learn more and then you're just like, I don't know, I'm not going to remember that today. I don't know. I it's maybe like like a spelling be thing where they say can you use that in a sentence? And I stopped and I think about it for a second. I go I'm never going to use that. I'm you know that that's just not going to like roll off my tongue in general conversation. Just isn't going to happen. And then I delete it and I just go about my day and I think about nate and again how he's got the vogue cab down, the grammar good and I'm just a dumb he'll building. It's Texas, guys. Well, I'm not from Texas, so it's but you're there. I'm yes, he he is. He is now learning our lingo and our draw I can't wait till you sound like this real southern and slowly talking. No, that will never happen, but actually I am. I got a couple of these emails in front of me right now. Yeah, so let me open up one. This one was Oh Jesus Christ, I came and say these fucking words, Christamuthi, Chris Damoth, Chris Christomothy, Christomathy. Okay, and it means a selection of passages from an author or authors designed to help and learning a language. Well, guess what, I can't even fucking pronounce that Goddamn words, so it's not going to help me learn it. Darns myth chrystal math. That might keep me up to be creative. Okay, here's stop me if you've heard this one before. I matree, matron NIMIC, matron nimic makes to me. These are even stumping me...

...and denoting or relating to a name derived from the name of mother or female and SISTOR. That makes sense. That's what I'm saying. I can't just, like you know, use this slipping in to try to sound like a smart dude. Right, I'm gonna came up with with all your other like to syllable words and then you're slipping in these words. Yeah, yeah, people are going to look at you like, what the fuck? You've been simple this whole time and now you're dropping this crazy ass word that no one knows. Captain Cave Man, just say tritic. What the Hell? Yeah, I don't know, man, but I blame nate for all of us. Is His fault. HMM, you try it all to get on his level. I he I don't know how, but he's maintained a healthier brain cell count than I have over the years. I don't know why. I I mean when I was a little kid. I'm talking, I think about for even before I was even in kindergarten, my mother had she collected all these I used to make little books where I would illustrate and write little stories and the they were all like selfcontain like I would write in illustrate these things and I was four years old and I would phonetically try to sound him out and I wasn't in school yet or anything, and I just always had a thing for for words and what they meant, and I've always been good at spelling, like they want a lot of spelling bees as a kid. I don't know what it is and it just stuck with me and now I'm not annoying dude, but it comes in handy sometimes. I didn't say annoying, okay, it was just I just don't know where my vocabulary has gone over the years. I definitely feel like I'm getting dumber and dumber as each year passes. But you know, I don't want to talk about my own stupidity because we have a more pressing matter at hand. Okay, we haven't even discussed the fact that toby is severely hungover. So this is the point of this show where we all make loud noises. That's horrible. Yeah, you can so toabster. Why don't you tell us why you're hungover? What happened last night? Well, for my podcast, the secret levels podcast, me and my cohost usually do a patreon episode, kind of like a just a behind the scenes of US just bullshitting for thirty minutes or whatever, but we decided that after we were going to record our actual episode. We were going to do a patreon episode where he got high, super high, because he's in Canada it's legal. HMM, I'm in Texas, so I'm going to get drunk, and I got drunk. I got after we recorded, I ended up drinking more for no reason and woke up about two o'clock this morning on the couch. Don't remember falling asleep, don't remember what laying there, but I was there. So Hey, yeah, well, and here you are and you're again. You're a trooper, you're you're fighting your way through this haze of overness and well, nate, we appreciate think about this for a second. He had an online sausage party last night he expect people to pay for and he got fucking wrecked and now he wakes up to do our show here. Yeah, but I mean you look like you're in good form. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, I'm. I'm masterful at pretending I'm not hungover, but I am. I did wake up, and so one of our listeners bought a t shirt and we made an offhanded joke about them sending us a you know, we need pictures of people with like you know, see this is where you can tell him hungover and I can't get my thoughts out clearly, like back in the day, like how girls would take pictures and band shirts, but they would only be like in their enderwear, in the shirt, right. We made an offhanded joke about it and I don't know if you can see this, it's my screensaver now. One of our listeners. Jesus Christ, that's a grown man with no pants on wearing our shirt. He has a beard of it, and I woke up and I was like, Yep, that is my screensaver now, and I worry about you, Copester, hi, genuinely sincerely worried about you. Hey, wait for, wait for Toby's only fans. That's next. He's got one, remember. Come on, you heard this show that you weren't here, but you heard he's got the only phoe. That's true. Hey, that's it. That's another joke that I haven't even that like, I had motivation for this big, funny joke about making an only fans and I still haven't gone through with it. So I'm saying we need we need access. I don't well, mate, my I sure is held. Don't toby, keep it to yourself. I mean, you know again more about behind the scenes for our listeners. We're actually recording fairly early in the day for us, so you know, that's why toby is freshly hungover and we might sound a...

...little creaky or have some trouble putting our thoughts together. I happen to have a giant coffee in front of me, which is proving to be very helpful. Let listen. You know the fact that you woke up this morning someone sent you a picture of themselves in their under pants. It was a man, and your first thought, your first instinct, was to immediately put it as the screen saver on your phone, meeting that anybody can see it. Should you end a call and lay it down on a counter or you know, what have you. You'd be hanging out with your folks or anybody. They go hey, who's that conversation starter? Oh, sure is stations, sure is. We're talking about him, right, about conversation starters? Yeah, well, boy, oh boy. Yeah, yeah, just depends on the conversation. You want to have a yes, toby is not. Want to talk about the weather? Yeah, yeah, you know, I have a lot of pictures. I could they could start conversations with, but not all of them are. They're welcome conversation. But this is when I can laugh about and be like, Oh yeah, that's just one of my listeners. No big deal, that guy's a fan, that guy appreciates the fact that you exist and do what you do and and he felt like showing you his more private moment. Yeah, it's he's Australian and I actually talked to him last night. He jumped in our chat and I was like, I'm said it as my background, and he said that his wife was taking the picture for him and she was like why are you doing this? And it was just one of those things like, I don't you got to be a guy to understand this kind of shocking. Like you know, I've always want to do is selling out show, live stream or what have you, broadcast. But now I guess second thoughts, Kiddo, after seeing what you're walking on your phone. But I mean, you know, take us at the course of the day. told me what's next for you. How do you nurses hangover? Eliminate IT, kill it, get it out of your brain. Well, I told you off my curlier. I have a routine. When I have a hangover, get down a water bottle, you down a soda and and so that way you get a little bit of hydration. Then you get your caffeine to try to kill it. Probably I should have drink another water bottle. I need something greasy, something just bad for me. Baking man, just like you just said, breaking replicas. The actually does sound like I need like Ahap or something. And Fuck Dude. Yeah, that's how you nurse it. And then and then you just lay on the couch all day and just waste the day away. Did you know? Goes along with my Super Geeky bitchy grammar not seen this, is that this morning I had, just before we started, a piece of Quiche for breakfast. How bitchy and whatever is that? Did you I feel like when you drink your tea? With it, you had your pinky out. Of course, that's the key, spinky. Know, then you word be even worse, if you, if you. The next line out of your mouth was, oh, yes, I had my keys for breakfast, and now I'm heading to the outlet to look for Shit, for belts and vests. I'm in the market for a new belted sweater. Yeah, I need to go to Lll bean m after my keyche MMMM. You know how I used to nurse a hangover back in the day, and nate is very familiar with this. Is More Booze. Yep, more booze. That's what I'm milk, some milk for your stomach, because your stomach would be fucked up. Yep. Yeah, and and boob silk. Yeah, I buy. Yeah, milk is a big deal for me. I won't drink anything alcohol related with milk in it, like a white Russian or anything like that, because milk is completely a separation of church and state. Milk is makes me feel good. Anytime I don't, something's wrong with me. It coats my belly the cold and it's going to be freezing cold, to the soothing sensations. It goes down my windpipe or goes down my throat. Should be going down my windpipe, because you don't want to know lungs. But you get the point here. You know, that would fuck up a hangover even more. Yeah, some milk down your wind put yeah, death by two percent, I don't know, but yeah, so. But still, when I used to drink, man, I would I wouldn't play around, I would wake up hair of the dog, keep on fucking rock and roll and there's days I couldn't even walk. Yeah, I said, Nathan, liquor store for me, go get me some more of my medicine. Yeah, so it got so bad. This is me at the time, like straight up junkie, and Dave and I dave was so messed up that there were times dave would say, Nay, can you run into the fridge and get me another drink or whatever, and I would. There was one time I actually gave you an empty beer bottle and put water in it or something. I forget, I know I've done that before. Look, actually giving you water and you didn't...

...even notice because you were so fucked up. Just kept drinking. But a big but the point is here too, is what kind of lot ASS beers this? Yeah, but I was, I'm such a fuck up at the time, but I would be like this dude needs to slow down. That's okay, it's so. But yeah, yeah, hair of the dog, man, little hair of the dog. Sometimes I don't I don't think I've ever woke up like from a heavy night of drinking and just started drinking more. I don't think that's ever I've ever done that. I'm always like all right, my night of drinking is over. We're gonna WE'RE gonna get some water and me we're going to get rehydrated and then we can do it again. You know. Yeah, right, flock, let's look. Well, smoking weed is always good, if you ask me. That always helps my mornings when I'm hung over. But but that helps everything for me. Person I got, I got randoms for world, you know. Okay, that's really partaking that kind of thing. Fuck those people in their randoms. Well, randomly punch you in the face. Can you take it? Handle it, all right, you guys. Yeah, this year alone I've gotten two randoms, quote randoms. I'm got long hair, of got the beard. I look like I'm a Hippie with a bunch of no better way to phrase this, but some good old country boys, Oh, you know. So, yeah, some ehaws, and somehow the hippie looking one out of the entire company has been randomed twice in less than six months. Weird. Yeah, so weird. Weird is right, I think. I think they're trying to pop me and catch me doing something wrong. You think, just follow the road, but dude, you get nothing to hide. You get a half naked man on your phone. Right, that's true. There is no ages. It just it just gets under my skin, like why, what are you? Are you tried one? Do you want to get rid of me that bad that I'm constantly under the radar? Yeah, or to do you know that I'll pass? So you have to be like look, if the Hippie is passing, all of our guys are passing. Maybe that's so, but still it's still an inconvenience. I got to go to the place and wait in line, and now with covid you got to wear the mask, oh be and then you got a panic cup and it's all. It's always weird handing someone your peak up and you're like here you go, Dude. I'm so used to Piss test throughout my life. There was a period of time I couldn't piss without someone watching and I still prefer it. But that's just, you know, a little kink. It's fucking fun. Actor's imagine you're too, being like hey, can you come in here for a second about please watch me, but we just talk to me. Just a sham in here, talk to me and I'll just be quiet. Just stand behind me and watch me antently, like I'm doing something wrong. Yeah, yeah, at least at those work piss tests. A lot of times they won't be like in the room with you. A lot of the times they maybe like just go in there and Piss and bring it out. But like, dude, I in jail and stuff, there there was this guard. He was, I believe, a sergeant, but he always made sure he was the one like watching the guy's piss because his thing was, well, I got to make sure it's done right. I'm the sergeant, I'm the guy in charge, when he could let some little peon and no pun intender guard do the Shitty job. The but the the thing was it turned out that sergeant happened to be a homosexual and he was working with all these guys under his control and he could literally bring them in and look at their junk anytime he wanted by giving them a fucking random piss test, and some of US always found it. He had a certain type. Wo'd always be a couple of US taller guys, none of us, you know, where the types with the rotted out teeth and some of the rougher looking people. There was always like the not that I'm a good looking guy, I'm just saying like the better put together guys. Then some of the guys in there that were getting Piss test and he'd make you strip down to nothing because he's like, well, I don't want you hide in any urine bottles or something like. I got to make sure so you'd be naked. You stand there like the little kid in in elementary school that would drop his pants down to his ankles, but the urinal and so you stand in there with you but cheeks showing and pissing it a cup for him and that same guard. Incidentally, I went to jail and he was there. I ended up I was like I'm going to shave my head. My hair gotten a little long before I went to jail. I shave my head, but when I did it I was like give me a Mohawk to my friend just for the fuck of it. Let's see if you can make a straight line Mohawk. So he gave me Mohawk. Came out kind of Nice. This guard, that the same one that would watch his Piss, came up to me and was like Hey,...

...you need to shave that off, and I'm like why? He says because it could be gang affiliation, or so he made some comment about why my hair cut and I mentioned it to another guard. Like I'm like, do you know, Martin's telling me I got to shave my fucking Mohawk of he goes. He probably just doesn't think you look as cute with it. He honestly. The other guard said that, I was like, Holy Shit, he sounds like Kevin Bacon from sleepers. Oh yeah, there's a random movie. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, the I want to blow Joey's school. Yeah, yeah, he's a rapist there. Yeah, so, anybody out there google sleepers because you probably have no idea what that fucking movie is. But Kevin Bacon plays a prison guard with a yeah, it's a boys school guard. He was. It was like a school for boys, like a prison for ball. Well, yeah, prison for boys, like a yeah, the reform school type thing or whatever. But yeah, yeah, so sounds like you're working with a regular old Kevin Bacon. There, my, that's right. It's right back to bake it. How do you say? Make it earlier? Yeah, how do you say it? Bacon, Bacon, no, you take I don't know. You said it hasn't be like Kevin Bay. Hey, he came heyly. So. Yeah, so we all nurse our hangovers in different ways. Obviously, Toby's is probably the most responsible. Yeah, you know, some water, one ether, red, bully red, not what not. Drinking again instantly in the morning seems a little more responsible. Yet, Oh, buddy, little bit. I remember a night where I rented a hotel room because I was going to meet this girl. This is an express, an excellent first date, right, and I got I get his liquored up. Is humanly possible? I had a fucking boatload of cocaine on me. Yeah, and she didn't stick around. She just saw as a complete fucking high mess. She's like, I ain't I don't fucking this guy. I'm out of here. I you know whatever. So I ended up partying in the hotel room, inviting random people over, and next day I wake up. I barely even knew where I was, but I was like all free breakfast, let me eat some sausage patties. I ate some of those, hit the cope again. Next thing you know, I was right as rain. So for some reason it's just, you know, go back to what was successful or what made you happy the day before, and it puts you right back in the mood to be walking the earth. Hey, the different strokes, man, exact? Yes, different strokes for different folks. You got it. Yeah, see, that's I think. That's my problem, though, is like even even with stuff that doesn't like mess you up like that, like pizza makes me happy the night before and then I get all down in blue and then I'm like, I don't know, maybe if I just eat that pizza again, I'll I'll be happy. And now I'm a big fat ass, but you're happy fat ass. I'm a happy Fatass when I get that pizza. That's right. Hey, so I don't think it the the hair of the dog is always a good thing. No, unlet's his pizza of the dog. Maybe dog flavored pizza? Yeah, you know, I would looked up hair of the dog to understand what it meant. I completely just like my word of the day. I forgot what it was, so I did I just say it. Dont even know what the fuck it meanss like yeah, they're the no, well, the full phrases. Hair of the dog that bit you. Yes, the phrase, but I don't know where it comes from. Some witchcraft shit where you need the air of the dog. That bitch union, boil it with some eye of Newt and baking biking, and I knew that's my hangover here. Thanks. Yeah, Broom Hilda, HMM, double, double, Hmmm. So, guys, you have anything else you want to talk about? Or should I do my live read? What else is going on with you guys? Before I jump into the the promo spots. My my balls are a little sweaty. Okay, easy, fix about it. Easy, just DAB them with a little baby wipe or something, I don't know, Moist Towel Lett yeah, a little TALC maybe, and Bay can. First up we have Alpine hampcom. The sebd revolution has arrived and listen, do not take advice from us on how to fix a hango over. Obviously we don't know what the heck we're doing, but what I can recommend is maybe using a little CBD to fix you up. And nobody has more products and Alpine Hempcom, they've got it all. Anything you can think of to fix any sort of ailment that you can also conceive. So make sure you visit them at Alpine Hempcom. Next up we have northland vaporcom. Throughout the course of our show I enjoy their e liquids and you will to all other e liquids are dike tone and artificial sweetener free, which is important because if you're someone like me and you vate northland all the time and you try it different juice, you taste it doesn't really quite go right because honestly, I think the other crap is toxic. So make...

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...kind of post love songs, like something I can never have sanctified. And that's what I get, a song where Trent Reson or actually sings. Now I'm slipping on the tears. You've made me cry. My point is that, as disturbing as I found Alanis Morissette Singing about scratching her nails down someone else's back and hoping her ex can feel it, I was listening to a lot of equally unstable mail penned sentiments and really digging it. I mean Shit, I was as emotionally confused and potentially obsessive as any other hormonal teenager. I wrote my share of Shitty, creepy poetry about pining for someone or other, who was most likely put off by this hormonal teenager writing Shitty, creepy poetry. I was the male pot calling Alanis the successful, talented kettle black and psycho. I always just chalked this aversion to you ought to know up to the fact that I first heard it when I did, and of course the radio played the shit out of it when it came out that year. So I would constantly be hearing this surrogate for my ex coming through car speakers driving by or on MTV, in between receiving calls and letters and poems from my actual act but a part of me, at my advanced age now, in this modern era, wonders if my male brain is being prejudice towards a female artist expressing herself in a way that I am often cool with when done by male artists. I will note that, as I'm trying to think of other emotionally charged female written breakup songs to bring up here, it's really just this one example that prompted such a visceral reaction. So I think it probably is just the way that it happened to coincide with my own personal issues at the time. I may not be a total toxic male chauvinist after all. Few but wait, before I wrap this up, I have to mention one more song that I just thought of. This one is kind of a wild card because it is a song written by an angry, jilted woman and it does also elicit a creeped out wow, listen to this crazy woman response from me. But before you think I preemptively let myself off the toxic male hook. Hear me out. The song now in question is called before heat cheats by Carrie Underwood, and it's chorus is is just miss underwood angrily bragging about how, after her man cheated on her, she went up to his pickup truck, this is country music, remember, and smashed its windows, popped its tires, ripped up the leather seats, scratched up the paint job, whatever. I don't even feel bad about thinking she sounds nuts and is completely in the wrong here. Despite her refrain of maybe next time he'll think before he cheats, she still comes out looking like the bad guy, no matter how many drunk chicks sing along when the song comes on at the local Honky Tonk. If you want to get back at him for cheating, just bang some of his friends like a decent woman. No need to bring property damage into this. I think if Trent resner wrote songs where he got back at his ax by spray painting the words slut on our car, it may have been more cringe inducing than writing about slipping on his own tears, which, now they think about it actually sounds like Gothic slapstick or something. Anyway, I've rambled enough breakups suck for everyone. Write a song. It may creep out a listener somewhere, but it's better than getting locked up for malicious destruction of property. HMM. You know, nate, I think you need to smile more, really, I do, really, but that's an interesting take on that, because you're right. You. Yeah, I was thinking about you ought to know, and I always associated it with just psychopathic teenage girls. becauuse. That came out at the time when we were teenagers,...

...and the girls that listen to it that I knew of were nut bags. Right, yes, but in the same token, like you said, listen to more aggressive or upset kind of lyrics by males was an acceptable thing. Yeah, it's all the time, man, it's weird. Yeah, like so that's why I was saying part of me is like am I being like, is it this I don't want to say glass ceiling, that's not the right term, but like, is it this male woman shrill? You're calling her shrill when you call a man like strong or I don't know, but I think no, it's just some songs, just that one in particular, like I said, it was when it came out, and that Carrie underwood bullshit where she's singing about rip like, like, Dude, how many girls can get away with singing about destroying some dude shit? Like if a guy started singing about, like, I burned her house down because I was pissed off at her or whatever, it's like, dude, he would fucking get locked up, worried dated. You know what I mean? I don't know, it's just it's kind of fucked up, but I can see and get it. I can see it. I mean you're yeah, totally. Yeah, if the guy just said, yeah, I went, I smashed up her car and this and that, they like, what a fucking how is this guy not institutionalized? He has some serious issues. But with Miss Underworld, as you called her, yeah, she's miss you know, it's acceptable and and people are singing along and having a good old time. That like, that's right. That motherfucker stuck his Dick in the wrong hole for the last time and now is Ford F one hundred and fifty has tires. Fuck, yeah, totally. I mean, I don't know. How about you, Tobester. I mean I'm really trying to think of like, because I listened to a lot of aggressive music and, yeah, it's it's mostly males and like if it has to do with like lovey Dovey breakups and stuff like that, it does seem like a guy approach to it is usually either just it seems like it's just all anger, but it doesn't seem like it's Corny of the I mean some of it is whe but like some of it's not corny as like yeah, I'm breaking their their property, I'm doing this, like it's like I fucking hate you, kind of like. But like women, see now I'm going to sound like a piece of crap right here, like I don't like women deal with it better, because in a lot of the like women kind of breakup songs, it's like I'm going to be stronger from this, I'm gonna be better and he's a piece of crap. But like it seems like from the guy's point of view it's always like no, you're a piece of crap, like I'm not getting better. This is all this is the worst that it can be. So I don't know, I was really trying hard to be like how many women, female artist have I listened to with breakup songs that I'm like, that's relatable. I follow that, but honestly, can't think of too. You know. Yeah, can I ask you guys a question? It's an age old question relating to the double standard. Sure, and it goes something like this. If a dude sleeps with a bunch of chicks, that's cool, right, but if a girl seeps to a bunch of guys's she's a slut. Right, right. Do you? Would you ever take an issue with that? Let's say you met a girl, she's very nice, but you found out she slept with a hundred guys. Yeah, with that bother you? Or do you care? What? What's your stand on that? What do you say, toby? I'll let you go. Okay, so movies have always been a big influence. I have to say that because I reference chasing a me. Yeah, in this case, because cups. Yes, I've always loved the the the movie, just because of the thought of all you did, all these things. That's your past. Yeah, it's not my past, it's your past. We're doing our thing now. So from this point forward is what matters. Right. So, so to me, I mean, yeah, I like this person may have this awful there a whore. They've slept with five hundred guys and a single day and they had the record for the gang bang record in a single day and you're like, okay, but is there all? Is Everything going to be cool with me and her? Like you, I mean, I look past it because, you know, sometimes it is one of those rebellious things. Well, I'm going to fuck every person that walks past me just because I'm angry at my ex boyfriend, and that's that's fine. You went through a phase. You're out of it, hopefully, and you're not gonna you're not gonna do me wrong. Well, yeah, yeah, but, toby, you just indicated it is being an awful thing. No, I mean, I don't think it's. I don't think it's awful that people go through their their phases of like fuck it anyone that...

...walks past me, me, particularly, I'm not that guy. Like I I'm a I'm old fashioned. I suppose I haven't been around the block too much, but it doesn't affect my thoughts on like Oh, she has that's fine, she's got crazy stories of four guys. Well, you know, an imagination on you, Kiddo, I'm not even saying that. You know what I mean. She just had a consensual good time with however, many people that she saw fit. It didn't have to be a fucking crazy gang bang or anything like you're bringing up right now. Because again, well, I'm just saying like I feel like that in chasing a me, I can referencing it again. One of the things he freaks out the most about is that her nickname was fingercuffs and she basically got double teamed and he kind of like sets him off. So that's why I keep bringing up like really crazy experiences, because I think a lot of people can look past numbers of partners. I think it's when people are like, wait a minute, like you do, you did this, I think that's when it gets people really so I'm all I'm saying is I look past it all because I'm with that. Your past, yeah, Dude, and I'm with you. I I think, like, I don't know, I think that people get way hung up on that sort of Shit. I if guys could get lead as easily as women do, they would be doing it all the time. And you'll hear guys they're the the argument is always dude goes into a girl, a girl's letting a bunch of dudes into her and, like you know, that's the argument. That's the best argument you got, and it's just like, you know what, if sex feels good for all of us. So if I had the opportunity to get late as much as a woman can, by just basically saying, Hey, I'm open for business, if you want to come in, I can do that, there are a lot of times I would have done that. And I'm not somebody that's ever been like, my problem isn't with how many people you've slept with. My problem is if you have a history of cheating on people. Like yeah, I think that's my issue because I, yeah, I've never been somebody that's been a cheater personally, like, I'm more apt to just break up with the person usually if I'm tired of like, what's the line? For every beautiful, hot, sexy, amazing chick, there's a guy that's tired of fucking her. I don't know. I just think that I don't know. I don't even know where I was going, but basically I don't carry either. Man. It's like, your past is your past. Don't cheat on me. And if you got a history of cheating on people, I'm less likely to trust you. But I don't really care how many people you fucked, man, because if I had the option to do it, I would have done it too. So yeah, man, open minded. Yeah, you, Dave was going to say. Bother me more as a young person because I associate sex with power, right, I remember that he is and I would have a pretty good imagination, not like toby's gang bang per se, but you know, where I could really kind of put myself into those past relationships she might have been in, hmm, and I would just be like, oh, it'd be cringe inducing for me at the time thinking about this girl being objectified and used as a piece of meat. And now she's with me. But now, as with age, you know, you mellow, you relax, you start realizing like hey, you know, it's just the way life is. I have a past, we have pasts, what have you. So No, that does not affect me. When I owed, if I met somebody, I enjoyed their company. I don't care if they, yeah, did whatever with whoever whenever they wanted to. This has no consequence or bearing on what we're living right now. Yep. And last she was the horse porn girl, which I've talked about in the past, the gallon of milk girl, yeah, football back girl. That would be enough one to deal with. That's why I'm saying like yeah, the numbers you're fine with, but a lot of time it's that specific act where you're like, I don't know, you heard she had sex with her dog, and you're like, I'm not, I can't even think about that. That's that's out of the question. So that's why I was I was really like, yes, the numbers, I know will affect some people's right, but it's definitely the axe because well, okay, or what not? Tell us what I got to interrupt you with this because you oftenly you're very Howard stern like with your letting the world know you have a very tiny micro penis. Yeah, right, so, okay, let's say you met a girl, you like her and wait, let me come at one second. I need I need to specify. I always say it's small, because then I don't disappoint later on. There you go and no, continue the okay, now would it be worse for...

...you? I know you said you don't really care about numbers, but imagine you met this girl, you fall in love with her, she's she's had a thousand lovers or are if you just knew this one girl who you're into wear, but her last boyfriend had this massive giant manhood that you could never compare to. With that affect you at all, knowing that you have such a small member? Okay, hold on, yeah, I can give you a real life toby dating store all area. Oh, okay, so there was this girl that I was talking to for maybe a week or two. Long Time, sure, yeah, it really fell off real quick. Anyway, one of the conversation she was like, I've only been with one other guy and she was my age, which is very regressive. Ye, for yeah, it's very rare. So I was like, Oh man, that's that's pretty cool. But then I got in my own head and I was like, wait a minute, I don't think I would want to have sex with her. She's only had one other guy with her. That means I'm either going to be the best or the fucking worst. There was no way I could live up to those standards of of like trying to outperform one other guy. Now a hundred other guys. are a thousand other guys or a thousand other big down guys. Right maybe, maybe, just maybe, I'm at least better than two or three of them. So, yeah, you're not the worst, exactly so, but you could be the war if it you gave up the fifty fifty odds. Yeah, your odds are better. Yeah, if, yeah, yeah, but listen, yeah, maybe it's been like ten years since she slept with this person, that person and that person, so like they don't really remember if how good it really was. So I've got that advantage too. Oh so, but but I really honestly now the conversation we just I I guess we just didn't click, but that was one of my big concerns. was like, I don't know if I could do that. Yeah, that's a lot of pressure, m being the best or the worst. So I think you need to go ahead to your local supermarket by a couple bags of Friedo's and talk to your therapist about it while she's ringing you out, because, man, this is pretty in depth thinking that you've put in a place here where in your that concerned over the like only one guy, while, Jeez, I could want to be the worst. I mean, who can be the opposite of what you think? It's like, I don't care if she's been with a hundred guys. I just it's only one. Fuck that. Yeah, that's such a weird, bizarre thing, but it makes sense. You've just have you've explained yourself very well as far as I'm concerned. Like that makes a lot of sense. I just like, you know, fuck it, just she's got something to say about it. You know, he just smack her in the mouth, you know. See, I just listen. I'm just kidding my egos, my ego is so fragile as it is, like I just I just imagine, like this is how I like in my own head. I get about everything. I just imagine that one of those fights in there, she's like you're the fucking worst, and I'm like, wait a minute, there's only one other guy. My Ego would just be shattered even more than it already. He's already ruined. What are you worried about? You get the way to go but up. There is no other way to go but up here. Dude. That's what I need. I need just the littlest bit of ego boosts, and I can't have that any at least at least in my head. If she's like, Oh, yeah, you're the worst person I ever fucked, and she's had she's been with a hundred guys and I can be like yeah, I don't know that ward. I wonder to the audience if we just sound like Dude Bros when we talk about this guy stuff, which is terrible considering. Nate gave us a really interesting piece to discuss and I immediately went to the most basic, bare bones part of any kind of maybe discussion topic with this whole thing. But I couldn't help but ask, you know what I mean. But just, but do we make up our opinions the the the vast majority of guys our age, or are we like, I don't understand, I don't know, I don't know. I'm very curious abouse. I feel like that's it's part of the taboo, is, like we don't normally talk about that kind of thing. Like so people don't know. So hopefully people are genuinely interested in like yeah, I've always wondered this, like do other guys feel the same way as me? So and women, women listening to could be like yeah, I've always like, I guess I should be careful about how I say it, but one of my xs was so concerned with her past, like she wouldn't tell me a number or she'd be like, I don't know, she just wouldn't talk about it, which I assume was a lot. But like it didn't matter, you know, like and and I never like hounded her to like who, come on now, let's count, let's write them down, but you really want to know. I do think there's should be good coming. I think there should be good communication in a relationship and like, if I feel like that's...

...again chasing a me. That's part of the reason. Is like there, and I know that's a movie, it's a it's a story. Well, where everybody just yells at each other them like there's no communication about each other's past, and that's that's fine, but when something comes up, it's like yeah, by the way, I feel like I feel like you should communicate. Well, I don't know. You know, because we're talking about to add nauseam more of the best scenes in chasing amy is Jason Lee's character drawing the four way street, yes, with the bunny and the the Easter Bunny, Santa Clause and close. But the other thing too, is in clerks, I guess, keeping on the Kevin Smith train here, was thirty seven. Yeah, thirty seven dicks. So that before after me. Yeah, exactly. He was very concerned. Dante. I think it was Dante's character, right, yes, who is? Yeah, it's not. Take because randalls, the Randall was o the Goy. So dantay's overly concern with how many dicks his girlfriend has sucked over the course of her life. Now, guys, I can freely admit as a young person I was a terrible, terrible guy. I was is not a good man at all. And you know there's no real true and use it for it. What say? What is it? I said you had lots of Dick, Kevin. That's no, no, but what I'm trying to get at was, you know, I can try to excuse myself and say, listen, I was confused. I trying to feel everything out the scenario. I didn't have a dad when I was growing up, so I didn't have any kind of like guiding light, and the limited experience I did have with my father was a bad one, because he wasn't a good man. And it's taken me a lot of years to try to develop this sense of doing what's right and being more honorable, I guess, and more respectful and everything else, and I'm not there yet. Fully and it's been like this whole process of evolving. Yeah, and yet, as I say this to you right now, I always worry about how I do in fact come off, because I want to be a champion for the right cause. So I want to do the right thing and that's my goal. But even then I, like I just said, I'm worried people going to think we something like dude rose, because that's not how I want to be, that's not how I want to be portrayed. But the same time, I want to be honest about who I am and where I am at any point in life, and especially with my relationship with women. You know right. Well, yeah, do you guys also feel that way? Yeah, do you feel like there's many miles left to go here, or do you feel comfortable in your stances? And personally, yeah, I think personally, I mean I've always I've always been not to not to choot my own horns, but I think, no, I've always been pretty guy. I guess there was a little bit. I mean there's the typical when you're young, you're just kind of it naive or ignorant, where, like I said, I was like this chick, I'm breaking up with this, this relationship, this bringer, she's a psycho and she's writing me all these poets. It's like she is probably just hurt, like there was probably one of her first relationships. We were kids, and I'm all like, you know, Blah, blah, blah, like I'm calling her a psycho and this and that. But, as I even admitted my piece, I wrote a lot of psycho poetry and probably wrote letters to or whatever. It's like. I'm sure I was a nut to some people and and so on that side of things. Yeah, I've probably come a little. I've come a long way. But as far as like the sex thing, like I said, my whole problems just basically been with like fidelity, like people cheating on me. I got cheated on when I was a teenager and I fucking it put a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn't just because because I was eating her out and I could taste his load anyway. But no, I don't know. Anyway, yeah, I know, I feel I feel like I've I'm trying to be an enlightened cat and I feel like in general society's getting better, you know, but I don't know. We obviously we always have room to grow. So I feel like, I mean, I've got my my set of beliefs and stuff and I'm always open to hearing other opinions and that's I'm I've I consider myself pretty open. Like you know, I again I've been on stage in front of people talking about me having a tiny Dick and not being able to talk to women. I think those are taboo things that people don't want to talk about. Yes, I have a funny joke. A Lot I say funny, but like it's a it's that way. I don't disappoint anyone if I tell everyone it's small. But I feel like a lot of things are very taboo and people don't don't talk about being so we don't learn and, like you said, like the first girlfriend that you break up with, it's if you're there first, like yeah, they're going to be psycho because they don't know how to deal with it because, and you know what, it could be the ninety person that they've dated and they still don't know how to deal with it, because heartbreak sucks. I mean, I had my divorced almost two years ago at this point...

...and I'm still trying to deal with it and still trying to process it and but we don't talk about it. And that's that's why I always try to be open because like like this conversation of well, if a woman does it matter? For a woman is slept with a bunch of people. This conversation doesn't get brought up. So like both parties, like guys don't know if how they feel is okay or if it's weird, or women don't know, like how men feel about it. So I'm cool with the the open and everyone talk, fucking and learning, because it might change my opinion. So yeah, change someone's it might change someone's, you know. Yeah, I'm just imagining. There's a girl right now in her early forty s sitting somewhere reminiscing about her youth. Going cheese. I needed this fucking nutbag who would listen to nine inch nails all the time. He was always dressed. He's always dressed in black block and gone. I wonder what happened to that poor son of a bitch. This is let me pop on some Alanis Morisset and think about it. Yeah, I'M gonna scratch my nails down someone's back and I'll be feels that go down on him. Then I pati the attime that if you cut it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's just bizarre. That's something that would bother me if I knew the girl just exclusively bang guys who wore Hawaiian shirts. Right, it's like the cast of full House. Yeah, we're like, Hey, oh, my ex boyfriend was gallagher. I'd be like, Jesus Christ, I can't bang. Yeah, I can't do anything. This is gross. Now, this is just, you know, Oh God. Yeah. So, anyway, I think that just about does it boys. What do you guys say? So, yeah, man, I'm I'm good. I feel like I've purged something, and it's not just because it shit myself. What we were talking clean that up, clean up. That told me, Miss. But yeah, I think we've gotten a few things out today. We've spoken, which is good. I gotta go to watch the MANDALORIAN with my son. This is a joy of mine, the Mandalorian, because it's family friendly entertainment, which is nice. I still haven't watched it. Well, it's okay. Yeah, it's all right. So what are you guys doing for the rest of the day? Anything good before we get out of here? I not today, but tomorrow. I'm helping a friend and friend of the show with something she needs help with. Not to again, I'm not tuting my own hord. I just wanted to give a shout out that. You know, sometimes we get to have personal relationships with our listeners and a good, a great listener of ours and friend as has been a supporter for a long time. I mentioned before our Listener Melissa's she she helped me out a lot when I was in the hospital and now I get a chance to help her a little bit tomorrow with she's moving. So I'm getting to help her move, which is nice, and I'm I'm not saying it, like I said, to say who I'm helping. So I'm somewhere because it's nice that you know this is a friendship. That is that's wonderful. But this is also a great thing to promote because if you are a fan of the show, nate will help you move a couch, even with my rotted out back. Yeah, with the see so we don't stay up all night getting drunk on Patreon. Like tell you're here, show up your house and tend to your garden and chop some wood and see what needs to be done. So there you go. Just be a fan of the show, follow us on our socials at selling out show or write as an email selling out show at gmailcom, and we were happy to perform manual labor for you. We might even send Hungover Toby your way and he will tell you lousy Dick Jokes to to help. He'll go down on you in a yeah, you can't just say it like in a theater, you gotta do it like full out. Yeah, down own you in the attack, Toby Kid. I'm waiting for you, toby. Oh No, no, don't make me do it. Made me sing before. No, no, no, come on now, Tobans Hanguo by in that's hall, sing like that. All right. Well, that does it. We're getting the out of dodge. I just I just totally self censored, censored myself. Did you hear that? I used to love doing that when I was a kid, get them out of my house. So anyway, we're getting them out of here. I am Dave, that is toby and that guy over there is nate, and this has been selling out show. Hi,.

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