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Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 60 · 1 year ago

Ep.#60 Internet Sⓔx

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Thanks to a curious tweet, Toby teaches Dave about Only Fans and we wonder what is truly taboo when it comes to turn ons. Dave is asked for his opinion on the true measure of a man and then goes on to vilify Toby for not voting. Stop, drop and enjoy this little humdinger we put together for you!

Welcome to the selling out show. You're feel what it does is beaches into your brain chemically and no, cat your happiest memory chemically and then knocks on that emotion, releases it chemically, and then it keeps your happy, happy. Hello, hello, hello, and thank you for tuning in to the selling out show, where we screw up life at our leisure for your listening pleasure. I am one of your host, David Schultz, and over here by my side is only one of my cohost, Toby Schofield, as nate is suffering through a bout of inclement weather, which is actually a true story. But anyway, since you are physically here toabster, how are you? Oh Man, I'm doing pretty good, except this cold weather. Oh, back on the weather. I just had to bring it up with nate and now you're talking about it. said, I don't. I don't work well in the cold weather and all, I like the heat. I'm a Texan, I need the hate. I happen to be a transplant in your fine state of Texas and I'm originally from New England. So when I hear you bitch about the temperature, I am offended. That's seriously. Yeah, I could see that because it's a lot colder up in the north, right. It is. It is an experience with northern temperatures. You don't, you really don't, and I listen. I think it's cold to don't get me wrong, but what are we looking at right now? Let's go to our live weather report here with you know, yea toby skull field over here. Is What? Forty eight degrees, rainy, that's it. Yeah, yeah, that's miserable. Okay, yes, okay, for you, that's so. If there was like a foot of snow, you'd probably curl up and die. Oh Yeah, no, I'm done for if we have never seen a foot of snow here in Texas, we usually wouldn't. It snows and Texas there's a lot of dirt in our snow when you try to make a snow man, because it's so thin. So, yeah, I know, that's that sounds miserable and unpleasant. Dirt, as long as it's not yellow, yellow snow man. A. I guess, Toby, you complain about the Goddamn weather. I know what's the matter with you, and you didn't even ask how I was. Just want to complain about your fucking life. Well, how how's everything with you? Put it this way, I'm currently sitting here in my recording space and I'm wearing American flag swim shrunks. I have a couzy bag next to me. Legitimately I'm going to pick it up right now. So if you, if anybody, hears this over the course of the show, it's actually my coozy bag, not my zipper to my pants. Plus, American flag shorts don't have zippers, but I have it is jam packed with Beer. It's only thirty six in the morning, so I guess that kind of sums up my life right now in a nutshell. You think, Hey, you know, I do have a concerning question about the American flag shorts. You say Y's no zipper. So you're saying off, no freedom on your on your trousers, snake. No, it's even worse. Yeah, it's even worse for my little my little Ghirkin, because they are the swim trunks. So okay, yeah, so they have they have it right, and it's actually like a netting around it, and I'm wearing underwear, so I am completely covered up here. Gonim swim shorts first. I don't know, man, I'm patriotic I don't know, know, I well, I did vote early, so I am you know, I was flexing my democracy muscles, if you will. But no, it's just one of those days where I was like, I don't want to bother with life, I'm just going to be that, that dude, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, and that's why you've got the coozy full of beer, coozy bag. Yeah, but that that has a zipper. So there you go. There's your freedom, right, they're unzipping it and letting the beer free. Yeah, Eleven. Well, now it's thirty seven in the morning on a cool Texas Day. How are you North Texas? So listen, nate is not here, so in his absence we're not going to have a nate's note segment to end the show. Okay, and we have to come up with some kind of colorful, creative banter to occupy ours...

...and the listeners time. Okay, but before we do that, this may be included. I don't know. It depends on your perspective and what you do in fact like to listen to. Toby, I have a question for you, and it pertains to something I dread and despise, known as social media. Now Yeah, okay, before we get any further into it, I do have to mention that we have that evil social media on twitter, at selling out, show, instagram, selling out, show everything, selling out shows. It's easy enough to find, but your personal account is at Toby Vaughan Doom. Is this correct? Yes, yes, okay, like you hesitate in court or something. You you are toby. I'm about to a toby. Yeah, this is going to about to be state's evidence right here. Oh No, no, not at all. But I'm curious about something more than anything. So I'm scrolling through your feed right now. You're a very generous read tweeter. You share the love for other podcasts and projects and stuff like that, and that's to be admired and respected. I know where this is going. You do great. Okay, yeah, because I just noticed this morning. You are helping promote this young lady. Yes, am I allowed to say her name? Yeah, sure, put her it. PUT Her out there. Her name is Sam a day. Yep, and let me look up her account, because you know what the Hell is double Dipp at some a day five. Yeah, and the tweet that she shared was I will be offering a new service, Bluetooth stimulation control sessions. Now the hashtags are always important, but her hashtags are little crazy. I'll I'll not crazy. I was going to say interesting. They're other say was good about three of them before I was like, okay, I'll just all right. It was Hash I'm I'm gonna read them all. What the Hell? Hashtag sw yeah, Hashtag masturbation. Hashtag only fans. I'm going to stop saying Hashtag. You just read the words now. Tattoos, hot chicks, colored hair, colored hair, if you were British, make me come virtual. Fuck vibrator, hot girls, content creator. Fuck me, gages, lingerie. Yes, so what is it deal with this? Why are you helping promote her services? Okay, PAL yours. Are you a you know, part of her flock? Now, listeners will know that I'm I'm the single bachelor. Yeah, late, right, ladies, hit me up at till. We can't hint, nudge, nudge, wink wing. Anyways, I found her on tender. I've never met her. I've never met her in person. I ended up getting her snapchat. We've chatted here and there. Not. She obviously wasn't interested in me. So obviously, why, uh, Huh, why do you say why are you saying that? She's obviously not interesting at you will, because I never met her in person. So we've I've talked to her for on and off of for over a year and it's always just like friendly chat. It's not like what do you wish? Yeah, Buddy, let's meet that all right, but that's not like the obvious factor. You're trying to be self deprecating and so I'm a piece of shit. So she would be end obviously not want to be with me like that kind of thing. Yeah, right, okay, a little bit. Yeah, that's what it was. So anyway, I can. So I had had her on snapchat and we talked here and they're not very not very often. Well, then she started posting stuff for her only fans on that account and I was like this is kind of weird, like I don't I don't know this person, but I'm supportive. I'm supportive of sex workers and I don't consider her like a good friend, but like that, I've got her on snapchat. We talked every now and then. So I was like whatever, all you know, she posted something one time. Oh, she posted one time that she just got a twitter account and didn't know how to work it well, me being the twitter horror, I was like twitter's great and we started talking about it and I told her, you know, I'll follow you. If I ever see you post anything, I'll just retweet it, because what's it going to do? Take two seconds. Sometimes I might write something, just a little thing like, oh, check out my friends only fans. But I do and which I can't. I can't reveal these, these friends, but I do have a few friends that do have only fans accounts. They keep it very private, though, but but I talk to them a lot about it because they know that I'm open for that kind of entertainment. I don't, I don't personally subscribe to only fans. Now here's something I have to tell you, though. Okay, I've I was waiting, but to do this at a later date. I made an only fans account as a joke, though, because it doesn't have to be nudity, but I'm advertising it as a eighteen plus and I was going to be. I was gonna I want to post videos, like two minute...

...videos of like fat guy playing with Pussy, and it's me playing with my kitten, that my new kid, Jeez, and then like fat playing with this Pud and it's just me playing with putty for two minutes, like it was supposed to be a joke and I still haven't done it. But there isn't only fanscom Toby von Doom. So go check that out if you want a masterbait, to click bait right, because that's what it is, your false advertising. No, no, if there's a cat in it, there's a if there's a pussy cat, Geez Louise, that's like a only fans via a dad joke. But you know what I mean. Hey, I made the account that and then like the normal toby thing happened where I was like, I'm too lazy to actually go through with this joke. It's not it's not funny. After I made the account, you know. HMM, so okay, but yeah, no, I'm very open to helping that kind of work and some of my my friend that does it, I've given her advice on stuff like content she can do and stuff like that, and I don't know, just I'm open to it. So, yeah, I retreat this girl because fuck it, if she wants to make some money, let her make some money for showing her boobs whatever. Okay. Well, so you can't personally testify to the quality of the services that she's offering. I see the sample pictures that she posts on snapchat and instagram and stuff like that, and I mean if I was, if I was one of the guys that was paying for it, sure I pay for it, Uhha, but this is a weird thing to pay for, to be honest with you. I so. Basically, the gist of it is, she has a Bluetooth controlled vibrator. Yeah, and if you pay whatever. I don't see the amount on here, but if you pay whatever, then you can control it remotely while she's using it. That is a very weird sell to me. I mean you got to think like if a guy is paying for that service, like he knows that when he's I don't know if you click on something on the computer, if it's a APP on a phone, but when you click on something, you know you're giving her that little buzz. Is what I would imagine, and that's where the the the enjoyment for that person, the man or whoever's paying, is getting is like yeah, I gave her the bunt to watch that. You know, it's like hey, put on, put on this electric dog caller and let me shock the living hell out of you because, okay, maybe I'm crude, maybe I don't know what the Hell is going on here, which is both maybe the case. But I would be under the assumption that if you had remote control of this thing from a different location, you just crank it up to eleven it. Well, yeah, I feel like that's what I would do, just for one the entertainment value of that alone. Well, yeah, I mean just paid whatever fifty bucks you like. Well, fuck it, I might as well get more bang from my buck, right. I mean, why are you going to put it like? If it is a if it's a one through ten setting, why am I gonna just like do the too? And you know I want you to fucking act like you're an electric chairs. You better ask me for a last meal before I fucking turn on that vibrator. You understand, like yeah, dude, it's just such a weird I don't know, like you know, everybody can get their rocks off in their own way. I get no problem with that, I really don't, because as long as you're doing it in a healthy manner and you're not hurting anybody, well, without you know their permission, then you fuck it, do whatever the hell you want to do, but if you you must have some dispensable income to be like, Hey, I've never met this person, but I'm going to pay money just so I can, via my phone, Zap the shit out of there there Couchi. Well, okay. So, for instance, there's again I know several people that do this and one person I've known since highs. Well, I've known to the people since high school, but one of the people I've known since high school I didn't. I wasn't good friends with this person and I haven't talked to this person about it, but within the last like two or three weeks she started posting on her snapchat that she had and only fans. So I feel like she's sharing that with anyone that's on her friends list that's known her since high school or whatever. So I feel like it's one of those things that a lot of these girls that may have been like hot growing up, they're like, you know what, I know I was hot. I know a bunch of guys wanted to see me naked. Now they can pay for it and well, let's see. I don't mean to interrupt you here, Topester, but I'm trying to like relate to this. I'm trying to relate this to something else, and there's nothing sadder than a podcast that starts to patreon and has no supporters, well, except for maybe they're ons and uncle's right. So would it be even worse if you had an only fans nobody was paying for it? You know?...

I don't know. I've never used it, so I don't know if you can see if there are people who have paid for it in the past or ratings or whatever. Would I don't know, I don't know about the but unlike Patreon, where you can kind of ask your mom to support you so you look more prestigious podcast world, that you got that one extra person on Patren yeah, right, you probably wouldn't do that with your only fans account, or maybe you would. Hey, Nana, I got a thing going on here online. Yeah, that's that stuff on the computer I was telling you about, and I need some support. So what do you say? You give me some money to play with a vibrator? I don't know, man, it's just it's just a weird thing. I don't know. So maybe I'm just an idiot. NOPE, from my understanding, how patreon were or patron only fans works is you you have a monthly subscription cost, right. So if you're substract. Hell, I have a stupid fake only fans. If you subscribe to me, like you'll pay whatever the minimum cost is and then I think like if I upload a video, I set a price on it. I don't know what the minimum price would be, but I think you have to buy each video. So it's kind of a weird deal. It's not like it's not like Netflix or Hulu, where you get a subscription and then you get all the content you want. Is it's like you get the subscription to then pay for extra content, is what. But I do think that you can. I don't know. Again, I don't know how it works. Really, I don't know. Have One. You don't know? Yeah, well, I haven't. Haven't started trying to make my joke come true yet and upload. Yeah, stupid. She's right, because you're lazy. Still. I mean, I just assume there has to be ratings or reviews or something. I mean, other unless you just looking. Oh Wow, this person has one thousand subscribers. As impressive, so they must be doing something good, right. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure, but hey, I would. I would. That would be a cool system. If there is like to be like five stars, she shows everything, even her buttole but one star, she didn't show her but hole. Is that the criteria that you'd be looking for? Well, no, I mean sure, why not? But you like a look at that Brown I am smashing that five stop button. Baby, listen, I'm not. I'm not talking bad about the the one friend, the that I don't know very well, but one day I opened my snapchat and it was censored, but she was definitely just spreading her butt cheeks and I was just like, Huh Hmm. Yeah, I mean you couldn't see anything, you could tell exactly what the picture was, but I was like, HMM, weird. I never thought I would see this girl on a on a smartphone, spreading her butt cheeks. Interesting. I was very intered. It's an honest way to make a book. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean really is. It is. You're not like on the street selling crack. No, you know, you trying to make it someone's fans some extra scratch. Yeah, right, exactly. You know, I do anything bad, and that's the thing I think we have to drive home here is we're talking about it. Maybe poke a little fun, MMM pun intended here or there, but you know, we respect what other people do, especially in the sex industry. Yeah, I've got no problem with that. I think it's safer than some of the alternatives out there. So yeah, I mean more power tomb, but it is it is interesting that you decide to share that on twitter among your other hey, look at my podcast. Oh, here's the other thing. I'm scrolling through this now this thing. Oh God, I'm looking at this young woman. But she has a check out my list on Amazon, so that means you can also just buy her gifts, but that's I could get her as a salad mixer or, you know, a robot vacuum or something, and she'd do crazy shit for me. So I've got an ex girlfriend who was a streamer for a while. She used to stream playing video games. Nothing sexual. She wasn't like she didn't have her tits out or anything like. She just was playing a game. She's did seeing kind of cute, I guess. So guys would would follower. She had an Amazon wish list too, and she told me about one guy that she would just throw her random shit into her wish list. And again, this is on twitch, where she's just playing video games. Some dude bought her a five hundred dollar gaming chair, HMM, for nothing, just because he wanted to support her. Let's be careful. Make sure they can't like find you somehow or always use fake names and an alias. You know what I mean, like, because that's like to me. Someone who's willing to do that. There's an issue. Yeah, they're not right, you know what I mean. So you don't want them to know not only where you live, but basically like what hemisphere you live in, you know what I mean, what planet you live on, if exactly. You just do not want that,...

...but that's very interesting to me. I mean the other thing too, if you if you've got it, flaunt it, right. Yeah, and again, she wasn't doing anything sexual. She was just like, again, she's fucking ditzy and lat she's one of my friends, like we're friends out, we're past our ex thing, like I love her to death. She's stupid as hell. Yeah, and and and I guess that's how I her cute, charmed, I guess, to some people. And Yeah, she people bought our stuff and like they would donate money to her playing and stuff, which I mean I know guys can do the same thing, but it's always the women that that get them. Well, yeah, donations and stuff. And well, yeah, I guess we're diame a dozen. My men were dumb. My joke about starting the only fans was supposed to be like well, if women can do it, I can get a piece of the Pie. And then it was just supposed to be like a shock thing that I could tell my friends like Oh yeah, I got an only fans hmm, and then they do. You don't, and then they go look at it and there's videos, but I think it blocks them to where you can't see them and you can just see the titles. That's why I was going to put like stupid titles like man, please with his pussy, man please, fatman plays with Pussy, and emphasize fat. Yeah, well, yeah, because that's that's got to be a fetish, right, that's got to be like so, yeah, everything for a everything, you name it. I mean I was talking to a buddy of mine one time and there's a fetish over air bags, like yeah, I can't get over it. It's amazing to be airbag. It really is. Yeah, someone they this not someone like there's a group of people. There's more than one do they like who want the air bags? WHO IN EXPLODE? That what's the word for it, you know? Yeah, in their face, weird discharge. That's a fun word, but you know what I mean to fucking they want to ram their face into a Goddamn air bag and it turns them on. Yeah, I mean, I've seen like weird fetishes where people like popping balloons and sitting on balloons and stuff for weird stuff like that, but that's weird. Like I just want to get hit in the face with this fucking plastic Y, rubbery fucking air bag. I don't know what a air bags yeah, out of stuff. This man is science. It's made of science, molecules of science, it's made of science. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, that's I mean, I'm not surprised by anything anymore or any kind of fetish that could be out there. I really wish people would buy US stuff. We should come out with a selling out and was on list, but maybe they'd have to really be into yeah, fat, weird old dudes or something, and that's probably a fetish to yeah, we just haven't found our angle yet. Hey, maybe we start that only fans for selling out, like you know, you want to show off your butt hole. Well, I oh, I mean one star. How much are we making? Yeah, well, I'm telling you right now, the reviews are going to plummet. They are got a fucking plummet. I do say good luck to Sam a day. We just talked about her quite extensively on the show. So again, more free plugs on the selling out show. It was atally saw my day five. It was really about like the the industry in the work. I feel like the conversation was up. Yeah, I know, better plugs, but yeah, it's about the whole because only fans is blown up like everyone like it's a big joke on a lot of social media now of like, oh I'm going to stow it an only fans. I see women post that all the time on facebook and stuff like Oh, thinking about starting an only fans and to pay my bills. Or I see people post only fans, but me just eating pizza, like me posts goofy shot. It's it's a pop culture reference. Now only you're all hipping with it. To Tick Tock. You know how to what someone with celebrities when they wish you a happy birthday or something. Oh, Camo Cany who is? Yeah, that's another one. We should start. We should started selling out, cameo, we can go tell your boss to fuck off or something. Bucks. You know, I don't know, but I always feel like so behind the times and everything, because I'm of an age where I remember when the Internet was first starting out in the possibilities were endless and it was going to be a tool for information, knowledge and basically the good of all mankind. A quickly deteriorated into just being a massive tool for porn and shopping, and so it's still if your butthole. Well, that's listen to that under the porn category there. But I mean I always feel like like, how come I never really jumped into this at all and tried to capitalize on it and make money? Even with podcasting, I've never once tried to become rich off of it or try to. Not that I could, but you know what I mean. I wasn't like out there be like Oh, I'm gotta put this content on the Internet so I can make a lot of money. It's always been like more of I enjoy doing it. I like having my voice in my opinions out there, so Valla. Yet there's so many people trying to monetize on the Internet and the way is done keeps changing. Yeah, and...

I feel like in many ways I just can't keep up with the trends on that. Yeah, facebook, twitter and instagram has really helped. The influencer, yes, influencer, the influence term, which I think I can throw off a cliff. Yeah, I think that's garbage, the influencer thing. I mean, if we're being honest, if you're hot, man or woman, if you're hot and you have a lot of followers, you're basically going to make money on instagram. That's why we don't make it money on instagram. Okay, thanks for some of that up for me. And one, one lump. You're like, you're not hot. Listen, will never succeed on the World Wide Web. That is why we put our voices only out there. I'll put my butt hole out there. I don't care. Why? Why would that even bother me? Like, who, it's just my buttole who cares? Yeah, but you know, I would normally think people would run and screaming horror if they saw my brown balloon. Not, but no, you know, some people dig it. So how much you think I could sell my butthole for? I mean, I wouldn't. I wouldn't put a high price on it. Just you know. I'd start out kind of low and then like get a couple of buyers and then maybe you could raise the price later. But I mean, I'm not paying. Ever seen so I don't know. Yeah, you've never seen it. So there you go. There's a little mystique there. So if you I'm charging ten. Oh, but that's that's almost like the people who would sell, and this again must be years ago now, they would sell their dirty underwear on Ebay and stuff. I as think, like who, who does that? But people would buy dirty underwear and socks on Ebay. They probably still do it for all I know. Yeah, they do. That's still thing now here. This about a year ago. There was one of those streamers or causeplay people, I don't know who it was, hot chick, let's say that. WHO's selling her bathwater? Oh, I remember that. And wasn't it other supposed to be like a fake, like the bath water wasn't legit or something? Yeah, yeah, something goofy like that. But yeah, they and they sold a bunch of it. So, I mean people, I don't know. It's bizarre. I gotta say this. If you are the kind of person who would be interested in purchasing a picture of a butthole or dirty bath water, please contact us, not to buy it from us, well, maybe not right away, but to let us know what makes you, what's interested in it, and you can reach US easily, as I mentioned earlier, on twitter or on our email account, selling out show at GMAILCOM. Because I need to get into people's brains with this. I got to try to figure out the whole mechanisms. A play. Why? What's appealing to that? Once you get the bath water? What are you gonna do with it? You jerk off with it? You drink it? I don't I don't get it. It's I mean Gargle it. I don't understand. Do You keep it in a violin? You have a collection on like a bookshelf somewhere and you like, look at my bath water collection. That one over there is be list celebrities. This one is streamers. Those are the my Luinzer. This is an influencer show of yes, and its like. I don't understand what you even do with it once you had it. The picture of something I toltally. I totally get it. I know what you're doing with it. Okay, the water, I think you're right. You display it like a Funko pop. It's rare. That's right, that's that's a rare I was going to say funkal POPs aren't very rare. It just so pop culture now. Yeah, but bathwater. There you go. That's the new beanie baby. That's what that is. That's a grandma's are collecting bath water. I you know what I mean. It's also like one of those things where if you, let's say, you've got a kid, you might keep their hair from their first haircut or their first lost tooth. Yeah, but you wouldn't keep their bath water. So where the fuck does this come from? What? What does it need to collect this, to have this tod I just can't get it. So again, if you think I'm talking to the listeners out there, if you think that that's something that would interest you, please do not hesitate to contact me. You can use anonymity. You don't to tell me your real name, doesn't matter. Just tell me why. I need to know. It's not king shaming either. We're not king shaming we just want to understand what it's for. I can't believe that's a term. Kink shaming. Yeah, you don't kink shame. Come on, like everyone, you know whatever to do what you want. I just think it's funny that's even a thing. Yeah, like that's like we just come up with words now for everything and anything. It doesn't matter. It's like I'm making fun of you for this and now was. So I'm your Kink shamming, shaming, my kink shaming lingo word. Yeah, like it's weird. Not. I'm on your shames, my king shaming word. No, I'm just telling you, in the free world I don't understand...

...a lot of things. I don't. I don't know if it's because it's just me and I'm dumb. I don't know if I'm behind the times and I'm old. It's just I don't get it. I don't smack me, toby, smack me right in the God damn mouth for five dollars, if I might the ego five bucks. And speaking of pay in the bills, I want to take this moment to thank the show's partners, because they send me some great products that I enjoy and cupon codes that I pass on too. You are lovely audience. First Up, we have Alpine hempcom. The CBD Revolution has arrived. I talked about this every show. I love CBD. I use it to sleep, I use it from I have back pain, so muscle ailments, you name it. I mean it takes care of anything under the Sun. They got pet products, they get coffees, tea's liquids. I could probably spend all day rattling off all the products that they do have, and Alpine hemp is a great source of that and affordable. So make sure you check them out at Alpine Hempcom, northland vaporcom. I happen to be vaping on their blue raze liquid right now. Is a personal favorite of mine. I was a smoker for over twenty years and I needed to quit. I needed some smoking cessation because that stuff is nasty and bad for you. Toby, do you like smoking? I do not smoke. No, you have ours. Love. I would love their products, I'm sure. Yes, yes, exactly, but I'm saying you never smoked. No, no, not at all. Right, it is hard to quit, dude. It's not easy. And beyond all that, you've known smokers right yeah, yeah, of course gross, the grossest fuck. I used to be gross as fuck, but now, thanks to northland vaporcom, you don't have to be anymore because all their e liquids are dike, tone and artificial sweetener free. This is important because you get a care about what you're putting in your body, because out there traditional cigarette companies don't. They are trying to kill you. You don't get none of that crap over here at Northland vaporcom. Now I keep mentioning thecom. They also have retail locations, the good old brick and mortar. You can find him inself Fargo, North Dakota, more head and be MIDGIEM MINNESOTA. Plus they have a brand new shiny location and Ozgod, North Dakota and Oz good to me. Sounds like one hell of a town. I don't know what you think. Toabster, it's it's got to be like the wizard of blows right as got you that you go this all yellow brick roads and and and a happiness. Now both of these sites and Munchkins everywhere. They're all over the place, and which is being flattened by houses. Both of these sites you can save nineteen percent off your entire order by using cupon code, selling out nineteen. Last but not least, we have spunk Lube, an award winning lubric can use by professionals in the adult film industry. But why let them have all the fun? Now you can start your only fans right. You're going to need a little slipping slide, don't you think? Going there drive it to I need to suggest it to my friend. Huh, do you go? Tell her to go get herself hooked up with some spunklub. They have a few great varieties and it is shipped discreetly to your door. I always bring this up because people weary of buying products such as Lube because they're afraid their neighbors the mailman's going to see what they're getting in the mail and go, Oh Huh, was going on here? Doesn't happen at spunk lubecom now make sure you check them out and you can thank me later. toabster what else is going on, talk to me, you know you want to make what I do have a question for you. HMM and honest, this is gonna be one of those questions where I know what the answers going to be. Okay, then, why I asked it, but because because I want to hear your opinion. Okay, okay, we're both were both guys, right, we're both men. Yeah, dudes, man, yeah, Guy, pretty pretty manly, because we have our dime. We're fucking yeah, that's it. I'm like, I told you, I'm sitting here in fucking American flag shorts in the middle of the day. Well, I'm okay, I guess I've had some how do I put it self? DOUBT, lots of self doubt, right, and and being in the state of Texas, everyone's a man's man, right, and I guess, well, the good old country boys think they're man men. mently man, sure, man, whatever. anyways. So what is it like? What is being a man now, because I see a lot of people post on on social media, we're going back to social media again, of like toxic man masculinity, masculinity. Yeah,...

...but, like I is our idea of like the manly men, the the picture of like the S and s of like man going to work and coming home and is stay at home wife, like what what is being a man in? Twice, think you just burped while you were saying that. I think I just heard about like I did a hiccup. It was what a you weird? Is it come? Oh, I hiccup. I was going to say what they must be a term for that. We have kink shaming. There must be something when you're like speaking and releasing gas at the same time. What was it? Tell you, I don't know. I'm the wrong you think you do. I answer. What did you think my answer was going to be? Well, I was thinking that it was going to be something along the lines of a man is someone that does write instead and takes care of their family and BUBBA. But I thought it was going to be something like it doesn't matter if you don't know how to use a change your oil in your car. Doesn't matter if you know how to use a chainsaw, like you know. I was expecting something along those lines because, like, I don't. I mean, obviously I'm a man, but I'm a big old pussy and I know it's like I play Retro Video Games and I read comics, and I know you read comics, and I'm not saying all people at read comics or pussies or anything, but like, like, but you watch sports. I don't watch sports, so you've got more man once I feel like right now. All right, so there's like a chart or do some kind of like checklist. It's like one of those speaking of you know, someone's sexy. I don't use to be in like the women's magazines. At the end, like find out if your boyfriend or truly loves you. Take this quiz. Do you watch sports? Oh, that's what we we you play video, get manly, test and test a litmus tests and how manly you are. Dude, I don't know, II don't let I mean it's like one of those things ingrained in everybody's brain. Right. You think if you don't defend a woman's honor or something, if she's insalt, you don't open a door, I don't know, whatever the case may be, that you're not being a man or you're not doing the right manly think if you don't take out the garbage or, like you said, you know how to use a power saw. I don't fucking know. So I guess for me now, at this stage of my life, it's more like just be a good person, don't worry about what you got dangling between your legs. What you're plumbing is right. I don't know. I mean that's my official answer to you, I don't think if you were, you mentioned that, you know, because you're single, you kind of want to impress a woman and it might help if you were more manly. You know what? And that's where this thought comes from, because, like, I look at my tender profile, which I can't see other guys because I'm obviously looking for the women species, so I don't see other guys to be like, Oh, I need to write that in my profile to compare. So I have no idea. But like, I'm just honest on my thing and I'm like, I blay video games, I've got podcast, and then I start thinking about it, I'm like, man, I sound like a soft motherfucker. Oh, told me, you fucking kill me, but I work in the whole field. That's pretty manly, right, but as you're fucking killing me. Oh my God, Dude, you just said you created an only fans is as a joke. You you're too lazy to go with it. Right, but but here's something, something more in the line. Right, okay, because your love life is the future. So why don't you create a fake tinder and then make the profile all the things that you were not? Okay, the opposite of you with the same photo. Don't fucking put like Brad Pin on there or something and see if you have any more success. That's actually interesting, right. Should you change your hobbies and interests to more traditional testosterone fueled things and just kind of played the the great experiment here? That is really interesting. Huh. We because I rarely get matches, which I've never been a tender date anyway. So and it's been what, almost a year and half or whatever. Yeah, that'd be really I might I might have to venture into that and hopefully I'll have an update next time we speak and see. Just try it. Yeah, was the worse it could happen? What? So what would my my my manly tender page say like that? You hate video games. No, I mean basically, I like sports. I like to juggle chainsaws. Yeah, you know, you're from Texas, so you love The Dallas cowboys or something. Yeah, you'd like the outdoor fishing and hunting. Yeah, well, be careful with the gun thing, because then you might be going too far into the whole like Maga Republican read or fucking boy. Hey, hey, that shit category. That could be part of the experiment. To come on now, you would actually. Okay, here's a question for you. Okay, politically speaking, you were not a Republican. You were very oh, you're not political, right, I am. I don't know where I am. That's how unpolitical I am. I don't know where I fall on the left and right scale that everyone's always crying about. Okay, I have no clue, like there's...

...some things. I guess. I don't know. I don't. I really don't know. I'm just not political. I don't follow politics. Okay. Do you hate immigrants? No. Do you believe in putting children in cages? No. Do you call the coronavirus the was it the Wuhand flew the Chinese flu? Come, there is that's what I was looking for. I came, he came. Come on, my face is racist. Would you say such a thing? No, then, what the fuck are you talking about? You're not, you know, on the side of the red. You know something evil, fucking bastard. Now, I'm just saying this because if I was single in like a woman who's like fallen, like yeah, I love trump, was beautiful and hot and she totally want to hook up with me, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here. I don't care. I'm not putting my penis in you. Your gross. You will be you, on the other hand, you would do that? What good? Yes, yeah, of course. Hey. You know what I have noticed on the dating APPS, though, for like a man seeking woman, about it at this is probably way exaggerated, but it feels like about seventy five percent of the profiles are like I'm in an open relationship, me and my hubby are looking for fun, okay, and every time it's like well, I mean, I get that you're looking for fun, but I don't know if that's it's a super popular thing and it may just be the area I live in, because I'm close to a more open town, like the town I live in is like he'll billy central, the town like thirty minutes south of me, is like cool and hit and stuff, and maybe I just don't know the the HIP trends. I don't know, I don't know, but everyone's in an open relationship. It feels like, do you really want a relationship or you just want to hook up with somebody? No, no, and that's why I haven't had haven't been like, I don't know, yeah, you haven't been. I haven't been. I haven't been successful with the tinder I should say, because I'm not just like Hey, what's up? I don't even know what to say to someone to just try to get a to hook up, like no, but everybody's got a Sol their wild oats every once in a while. I mean, you know, you're Jim saw. I can only get so crusty, you know what I mean? If you wash it enough, it's fine. He's fat. Oh, shut up, shut up, you shut your face. But you know I was saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I don't know. I don't know if dude, like I've been out of the scene for so long. I do recommend trying that whole reverse profile thing to see if that yields any results. But even then here we go. Is showing that they might be more people interested in that type of person, but that's not the person for you, right. Yeah, yeah, that would be the downfalls. Like, you know, Super Hot chick that I'm like, Oh, yeah, and then they're like Oh, but they like they like this toby that I'm not, and that sucks. Yeah, man, I don't know, the world has changed a lot. Even when I was a little bit younger, like ten years ago, we were still meeting people online, but there was no tender. Then there were other websites available and whatever. But I think a lot of people too were just using social media. Like you find someone that has the same interest as you do, maybe you'd message them and who knows what happens after that. But Hey, fucking fish, oh you go, plenty of fish. Yeah, like that victim where I met my ex wife. That we yeah, but still it. It was like you got something out of it. Right, unless you completely, completely consider whatever relationship you just had a waste of time. It was pretty wasn't much away it. Well, I mean, Geez, you are a victim, not a man. I'm just a victim. MMM, someone, love me, please, someone, love me, pleasecom I'm so alonecom give me a will to live. Dotnet. Yeah, I don't know, Buddy. I really, I really couldn't help you with that too much, and I apologize, but yeah, I just thought that's another thing. If I was looking for a to another man, for some manly advice on how to be a man, I guess some sage wisdom that I could not provide. You let me down to like you know me. I'm just going to say, just be you, just do you, you know what I mean, and kind of roll with that and things just tend to happen. Now it's a little bit more difficult when you're not in like a social circle. When you're a teenager, right, you're in high school, so this girl's all around you, people are dating, they break up every two minutes. College, same thing. See that. When you're adult and you work and you know, what have you, it's a little harder to find the right person. See, and that's the weird thing that I have to I run into is I work in the whole field with the majority being men, like we've got some office women. We've had women work in the field with us, but it's it's very far and few between, and so, like, I'm not in any kind of Socialal circle where there's women. So, yeah, that makes...

...a lot more difficult to go there. There's your answer. Start walking backwards through the turnstyle. I think you should probably switch your affiliation your team. You think I should be gay. Yeah, maybe, I mean because it's maybe there's a lot of dudes out there who want a more, you know, feminine, Fat Guy. I don't know. You just look at love and all the wrong places, you know, Oh, yeah, maybe that's the I don't know, we'll see. I mean one he's one step at a time. Let me, let me try this reverse manly tender and then I might try grinder. Yeah, it might be a monumental episode for the selling out show. We just had toby well not come out of the closet, but consider peeking in and seeing what goes on in there now. So, Hey, more power. See You. Yeah. So, you know, that's the thing. Man is like. I was thinking about true love the other day and you know, I the people in my life in relationships that I've had, that I've loved. I did you know I cared about them. Yeah, but I started thinking about and this is kind of weird, I almost felt like a like a beautiful mind or like a mad scientist, where I like numbers and graphs in front of me, you know, in my mind's eye going. Well, if you think about everything on the grand scheme, first, geographically and regionally, where you're located, what are the odds of you finding that true soul mate, or the definition that we can kind of conceive as being a soul mate near you? Probably very slim. Then even then, globally, right, you probably have no opportunities to travel and meet someone from across the world and then age right where? Who knows? Maybe someone who is most like you or most compatible with you, because eighty years old and their time is past, or maybe they had dead, maybe they died two centuries ago. You don't know, but you but you know what I'm saying. Like the whole idea of true love is such a stupid thing to me, like for people to think that something that you can achieve or find, or it's a quest. I must find my soul mate. You're a fucking idiot. You know, everybody settles, Everybody, but he's going to be happy enough. That where you do finally, you know, hang your hat that you're going to be contented. That's it. Man Like people romanticize everything about romance to the point of Nausea, and it's just like, chill out, we just got to get through this together. We're all this fucking mudball float through the Cosmos Right, well, floating an orbit around the Sun. But you know, we try to think that we're all individuals and special and unique. Can we all deserve these great things more than anybody else and what have you. And that's not true. It isn't true. So the concept of true love is just fucking false, false thing that we keep fucking clamoring for like idiots. Sorry to ruin your day, Hey. Yeah, there was no nates notes, but there was a Dave's notes today. A little Dave's depressing rant day takes a dump on life. Yeah, maybe, but you know that. I urge anybody out there listening to what I just said to think about it a little bit and if you are still at a believer in you're going to be able to find that one special person created just for you and only you, and you were going to lock eyes and fall in love and make children and the world is Nirvana. You know you're come on, come on again. It's like when I earlier, I asked for that that person who's got like the weird fetishes on bath water to reach out yet again. If you were a believer in true love and you contest what I just said, selling out show at GMAILCOM. I want to hear from you as well. Yeah, and if you're macho love, let's let's in the search and hit me. Let's get you. This is I was gonna say, let's get you laid, but you were just like move, and we did. We endorsed sex workers earlier in the show. I was going to say just go out and there's nothing wrong with that. I just, you know, I don't know if I walks off, I don't know if I could pay for it. I mean why? It's like an awkward exchange of like call. There's no build up, there's not, there's not like Oh, we've been talking and having a good time and now we're going to do the deed, it's just like, all right, so you know how much per hour. Okay, let's go over here and they you know, that's weird. There you going again with like there has to be some kind of connection or they has to be, you know, some kind of spark between you before things happen, which isn't the case. That's like saying you go to Mickey D's and before you buy a bag of French fries, you get to get to know the cashier better first. What you don't you know? I ask them how their days what's their name? What your sign? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Can I guess all that? Year? I need someone else. This we don't match. I'd like a large fry, but first can you, please tell me your favorite color? What kind of music do you like? Please' but you know, come on, dude, if like that was your...

...intention or your need as something, you should certainly again go out and explore. I don't see any issue with that or the should be any stigma behind it or or just for their teams. Yeah, I mean, I guess if you're not willing to go out and pay for a little little fun with the opposite sex, maybe you should just stick to the oil fields, go around showing off your butt hoole. Yeah, and see what see what kind of takers you have. There we go. You know, it all comes back to my butthole. Somehow, always five stars, an star. How I imagine that you like I've got a three star rating of my butt hole on travelocity. Hey, there's a there's a foot rating website. Have you ever heard of that? Like celebrity feet or something where you can really you can rate their feet. We should start. That's mortifying, but hole. What's the WHO? We should start the the bole rating website. I shouldn't think of the criteria involved into ranking a good bot hole. You'd be like no, debris, no, no, I mean like, Oh, is it look at that tartness. Look at this. Look look at how it's tucked in just right. Look at that. Look at that's got a natural blend of colors. Yes, it's natural, no spottiness. Oh, look at how it puckers up. Look at it pucker. All the judges give a straight ten for Canada and Canada's but whole. But I mean, yeah, that'd be we I remember when I used to work with this guy years ago, and I'm talking this is like twenty years ago, there's a website called rate my poot. I think it Wascom it wasn't even poop, but it's poot. No, son, I did not. Huh. Okay, you heard a voice. Okay, go out in the other room and I'll be out in like shortly. You say, okay, I love you too, Kiddoh, okay, bye, bud. Close both the wars there please. Okay, now, that was an awkward interaction. We were talking about content like that and your eight year old comes in the room. It says, Oh, I thought I heard something. Did you say my name? No, yeah, hopefully he's not scarred for life. But my mom probably shouting to rate my poop. But this dude and he was like whip it on his phone. He show him. He's like yeah, Dude, everybody ray to everybody else's Turds, and I'm like you serious? This is the thing, and this is also how you occupy your time, like when you're on break or whatever. I used to read a book. I mean I draw tons of cheese lunch. Yeah, well, not even then. This is this is way back, you know when, and that's why I told you. It's like the Internet was this great thing to begin with. We ruined it so fast. But yeah, that's how he entertained himself, was looking at people's Pooh in toilets. So, yeah, I don't think right now the people's butt holes or whatever is out of the realm with it exists. It must exist. We're not treading on new ground here. Yeah, I bet you're right. It's already out there. It is it has to be. There's nothing. I couldn't think of anything new that we could contribute to the interwebs of of any no other than our humble little conversations like we're sharing today. Yeah, about people's but holes. Yeah, you know. Well, let me, let me change a topic real quick, because we don't have a lot of time left here. Okay, but I was trying to get really political on you earlier. You would have none of it because you only care if a chick is hot, that's right here, about her political affiliation, like I do, because I have moral fiber. Thank you very much. Yeah, but I participated in early voting Nice. I was not aware that I went on the first day that it was available, so it was busy as hell, but yet I was very happy that I did so and I like the convenient and so it so I do want to urge every listener of the selling out show to make your voice is heard, just like we do on this show, by voting, what I was going to say, whoever you want to vote for. But you obviously know where I lean. I am blue all the way up and down my head to my nose. I mean my head to my toes, to my balls, everything to be blue, Blue Ball. Looking for I do I do right now. Yes, especially with all this netting. I have an these American flag. Not. It's gotten off the circulation. That's whether it is something. Something's going on down here and it isn't good. It's not good at all. So yeah, but yeah, definitely go out and vote. toldy you could a vote no. Never you what the fuck here. You want my political view real quick? No, I want you to vote No. The president is a scam. That's a mascot of America. We have a mascot who's the lead singer that everyone thinks they love and stuff, but it's really the two other branches that read all the songs. They're the the the hit makers. And if you really want to be political, don't do it every...

...four years, do it when there, when the other two branches have major things happening. Like watch those branches, not the lead singer, because, guess what, the band is fucking awesome sometimes. You know what, watch the band, not the fucking we huh ha ha ha. Listen to you. Listen to you. Huh making that an Legita, like we mentioned earlier. There's no nates notes, but you brought music. There's the there's the music reference, but that's I do. I think. I think the president is because everyone knows the the lead singer of a band. You know. HMM, it's very, very rare that you know the people in the band. So yeah, I think the the president. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter for the Presidency Oh, I don't know about that. Their Kiddoh, especially when the president is a big fat idiot who can't keep his mouth or twitter account shut just continues to embarrass US himself, you know, in front of the rest of the world, with his vile, racist and just bluntly evil comments. But Hey, what? But he loves God. Oh Yeah, sure, yeah, sure, there's a buttole you can rate because the big butt hole on his face, but his mouth. Zero Stars. Donald Right Zeros, yes, zero stars for that fucking piece of Shit. But anyway, yeah, so early voting is great. I lost my train of thought. But yeah, so make sure you go out and do that, though, like seriously, like there's no fucking harm in it's not like whatever. I mean, a lot of countries you can't. So I hear you have to if you go vote. That makes you really manly to so, HMM, it does. Your testosterone shoots through the Gosh darn roof. Let me tell you. You could do it an only fans you can say, Hey, hop on my only fans account and if you pay me so much money, I'll vote this way, should that way. Sold my BA go. So you could sell your vote. Just don't get caught. Yeah, I'm sure there's probably highly illegal. Maybe, maybe, but then you go to you can make policy if you were a politician. Have your only fans, and if you're on my only fans account, you can let me, let me know what you prefer. Would you like better healthcare, or do you want me to to build a wall to keep immigrants out that really aren't doing us much harm whatsoever anyway? But I like to spread dangerous rhetoric with that but whole I call a mouth. So yeah, all right, man Tobester, you got anything else you want to add to our programs, since I just ended it on such a high note, and I know there's can be people who say, Oh, I hate it. Would you fucking guys get political? Don't talk politics. Come on, you guys are so funny when you don't talk politics. But to that I say fuck off. Yeah, I mean, come on, I even us out because I'm non political and you know, it all worked out. It's okay. Fuck off, toby, you too. Fuck you. So anyway, do you have anything worthwhile to contribute that you know show before you go take it to my close, my only fans. Yeah, what was the link to that? Again, only Fanscom Toby Van Doom, just like all my other Social Media Toby Van Doom at SOB vand one word, no capital's just look me up on everything and if you know anybody who is single, ready to mingle, wants themselves very gentle sould Teddy Bear, who knows Jack Shit about politics other than making music analogies, make sure to read as an email. Look up toby on twitter. Let's get this guy. Let's get him something going on. I'm sick of it, man. I mean I'm telling you, man, it's too long, too long. We need to get you someone, anybody, anyone, anybody. Yeah, so, so, if you know anybody who basically has a pulse breathes, contact us. You got a night her grandma, that's single. Sender my way, little silver cotton candy for the Tobester. Yeah, let maybe gag. All right. Well, that's a great way to end the show. Toby is gagging. I am Dave and this has been the selling out show six.

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