Selling Out Show
Selling Out Show

Episode 60 · 11 months ago

Ep.#60 Internet Sⓔx


Thanks to a curious tweet, Toby teaches Dave about Only Fans and we wonder what is truly taboo when it comes to turn ons. Dave is asked for his opinion on the true measure of a man and then goes on to vilify Toby for not voting. Stop, drop and enjoy this little humdinger we put together for you!

Welcome to the selling out show Yourieiyo what it does is: Breaches intou brainchemically and Lo Keec. Your happiest memory chemically did et flock od thatemotion reased it chemically, and then it keeps your happy happy hello, hello, hello and thank you fortuning into the selling out show where we screw up life at our leisure. ForYour listening pleasure, I am one of your host David shelds and over here bymy side, is only one of my co host Toby Scofield as nate is suffering through about of inclement weather, which is actually a true story, but anyway,since you are physically here tobster, how are you? Oh Man, I'm doing prettygood, except this cold weather? Oh back on the weather, I just had tobring it up with mate and now you're talking about this, and I don't o workwell in the cold weather. A all I like the heat, I'm a Texan. I need the hat.I happen to be a transplant in your fine state of Texas and I'm originallyfrom New England. So when I hear you bitch about the temperature, I amoffended. That's seriously yeah. I could see that because it's a lotcolder up in the north right it is, it is experience with northerntemperatures. You don't you really don't, and I I listen. I think it'scold to don't get me wrong. But what are we looking at right now? Let's,let's go to our live weather report here with you know, dtat Toby Skollfield overhere is what forty eight degrees rainy. That's IT Yeah Yeah! That's Miserbuckinme yeas e okay, for you that's! So ifthere was like a a foot of snow you'd, probably curl up and die, Oh yeah! No!I'm done for if, if we I've never seen a foot of snow here in Texas weusually when it snows in Texasthere's a lot of dirt in our snow. When you try to makea snow man, because it's so thin so yeah, no, that's that sounds miserableand unpleasant dirt. As long as it's not yellow, yellow Snowmana, I guess toby. You complain about the Goddamnweather. I know, what's the matter with you and you dodn't even ask how I wasyou just wanted to complain about your fucking life. Well, hows, how's.Everything with you put it this way. I am currently sitting here in myrecording space and I'm wearing American flag swim trunks. I have a coozy bag next to melegitimately, I'm going to pick it up right now. So if you GE, if anybodyhears this over the course of the show, it's actually my coozy bag, not myzipper to my pants plus American flag shorts, don't have zippers, but I haveit. It's jam packed with Beer, it's only eleven thirty six in the morning,so I guess that kind of sums up my liferight now. In a nutshell, you think, hey you know I do haveconcerning question about the American flag, shorts. You say: Thet' NO ZIPPER!So so your say of no freedom on your on your trouser snake. No, it's evenworse! Yesh, it's even worse! For my little my little Gerken because they are the swim trunks, Otho, ugs,okay yeah, so they have the have nipper right and there's actually like anetting around it and and I'm wearing underwear, so iam completely covered up here. ONI SHORTS! First, Idon't know man, I'm patriotic! I don't know! No well, I did vote early, so I am youknow. I was flexing Y, my democracy muscles, if you will, but no it's justone of those days where I aas like I don't want to bother with life. I'mjust going to be that that dude, you know what I mean: Yeah Yeah, andthat's why you've got the Cuzi full of beer coozy bag yeah, but that that hasa zipper. So there you go, there's your freedom right! There unzipping it andletting the beer free yeah at eleven. Well, now its eleven thirty seven inthe morning on a cold Texas Day. How are you north Texas, so listen, Nay, is not here. So in his absence, we're not going to havea nate's note segment to end the show. Okay and we have to come up with somekind of colorful creative banter to occupy oursand the listeners time. Okay, Wut...

...before we do that this may be included. I don't know itdepends on your perspective and what you do in fact like to listen to toby.I have a question for you and it pertains to something I dread anddespise known as social media now yeah, okay, before we get any further into it.I do have to mention that we have that evil social media on twitter atselling out show instagram selling out show everything. Selling out shows iseasy enough to find, but your personal account is at Toby Vauhn doom. Is thiscorrect? Yes, yes, okay, like you hesitatemincourt, or something that you are toby com about to yeah to yeah. This is going about to bestates, evidence right here, no, no, not at all, but I'm curious aboutsomething more than anything. So I'm scrolling through your feed rightnow, you're a very generous retweeter. You share the love for other podcastsand projects and stuff like that and that's to be admired and respected. Iknow where this is go. You do great, okay, yeah, because I just noticed thismorning. You are helping promote this young lady. Yes, am I allowed to say her name, yeah sureput her. I put her out there. Her name is Sama Day Yep and let me look up hereaccount because you know what the Hell is doubled him at som a day, five yeahand the tweet that she shared was. I will be offering a new service bluetooth stimulation control sessions. Now the hashtags are always important, buther hashsacgs are a little crazy im, not crazy. I was going to sayinteresting, Theyre Athe'r SA ed about three of them before is like okay, allthis treet right. It was hash. IMI'm, Gonto, read tem all what the HellHashtag sw, Yeah Hash Tag: masterbation Hashtag only fans, I'm going to stopsaying Hashtaggin, just read the words now: Tattoos, hot chicks, colored, hair,colored hair. If you were British, make me come virtual fuck, vibrator, hotgirls, content creator. Fuck Me Gauges Langere, yes, so what is a deal withthis? Why are you helping promote her services? Okay, HAL! Yours are you. Youknow pot of her flock now listeners will know that I'm I'm quite the singlebachelor yeah lat right. Ladies hit me up at tol, be pan it nudge, nudge,winkwing anyways. I found her on tender. I've never met her. I've never met herin person. I ended up getting her snapchat we'vechatted here and there. No. She obviously wasn't interested in me. Soobviously, why Huh? Why do you say? Why are you saying that she's obviously notif mean at you what't, because I never met her in person, so we'Vei've talkedto her for on and off for over a year, and it's always just like friendly chat.It's not like what do you Werh yeah, but let's meet Ya all right, but that'snot like the obvious factor, you're trying to be selfdeprecating in ill ave,a piece of shit, so she wille obviously not want to be with me like that kindof thing: Yeah Right: okay, a little bit, yeah yeah, that's what it was soanyway. I cantil I had. I had her on snapchat and we talk here and there notvery not very often. Well then she started posting stuff for her. Onlyfans on that account- and I was like this- is kind of weird like I don't. Idon't know this person, but I'm supportive, I'm supportive of sexworkers and D. I don't consider her like a good friend, but, like I've gother on sap shut, we talk every now and then so I was like whatever I'll youknow. She posted something one time. Oh, she posted one time that she just got atwitter account and she didn't know how to work. It well me being the twitterHor. I was like, ah twitter's great and we started talking about it and I toldher. You know I'll, follow you. If I ever see you post anything I'll, justretweet it, because what's it going to do take two seconds sometimes I mightwrite something just a little thing, like oh check out my friends only fans, but I do and which I can't. I can'treveal these these friends, but I do have a few friends that do have onlyfans accounts. They keep it very private though, butwbut I talk to them a lot about it because they know that I'm open forthat kind of entertainment. I don't. I don't personally subscribe to only fans now, here's something I have to tellyou, though. Okay, I was waiting B to do this at a later date. I made an only Fan'saccount as a joke, though, because it doesn't have to be nudity, but I'madvertising it as a eighteen plus- and I was going to be- I was Gon. I want topost videos like two minute videos of... fat guy playing with Pussy, andit's me playing with my kitten that my new co Jeez and then like f playingwith this Pud, and it's just me playing with putty for two minutes like it wassupposed to be a joke and I still haven't done it, but there isn't onlyFanscom, slsh, Toby von Doom, so go check that out. If you want amaster bait to click bait right, because that's what it is your falseadvertising? No, no, if there's a cat in it, there's there's a pussy caw Jeez.Louise, that's like a only fans via dad joke, but you know what Ian Hey I madethe account then and then like the normal toby thing happened to where Iwas like. I'm too lazy to actually go throughwith this joke. It's not it's not funny after I made the account you know so: okay, but yeah H, no, I'm very opento helping that kind of work, and some of my my friend that does it I've.Given her advice on stuff like content, she can do and stuff like that,and I don't know just I'm open to it so yeah. I retreat this girl because fuck it. Ifshe wants to make some money, let him make some money for showing her boobswhatever okay. Well, so you can't personally testify to the quality ofthe services that she's offering. I see the sample pictures that she post onsnapchat and instagram and stuff like that and MN. If I was, if I was one of the guys thatwas paying, for it, sure pay for it uhhuh. But this is a weird thing to payfor to be honest with you, I so basically the gist of it is she hasa blue tooth, controlled, vibrator yeah and if you pay whatever, I don't seethe amounts on here, but if you pay whatever, then you can control itremotely while she's using it. That is a very vegrat soo to me I mean you got to think like if a guy is paying for that servicelike he knows that when he's, I don't know if you click on something on thecomputer, if it's a APP on a phone, but when you click on something youknow you're giving her that little buzz is what I would imagine and that'swhere the the the enjoyment for that person, the manor whoever's paying is getting is like yeah. I gave her the BU to watch thatyou know sorry hey put on put on this electric dog caller and let me shockthe living hell out of you, because, okay, maybe I'm crude, maybe I don'tknow what the Hellis going on here, which is both may be the case, but Iwould be under the assumption that if you had remote control of this thingfrom a different location, you just crank it up to eleven well yeah that I feel like that's whatI would do just for one, the entertainment value of thatalone. Well, yeah, I mean just pay whatever fifty bucks you like wellfucking. I might as well get more bang for my buck right. I mean why are yougoing to put it like if it is, if it's a one through ten setting? Why am Igoing to just like do it to? And you know I want you to fucking act likeyou're, an electric chair or something you better ask me for a last mealbefore I fucking turn on that vibrator. You understand like yeah dude, it'sjust such a weird. I don't know like you know everybody can get their rocksoff in their own way. I got no problem with that. I really don't because aslong as you're doing it in a healthy manner and you're, not hurting anybody.Well, without you know their permission, then you fuck it do whatever the hell.U You want to do, but for you you must have some dispensable income to be likehey. I've never met this person, but I'm going to pay money just so I can,via my phone zap the shit out of there, their Kouci well, okay. So, forinstance, there's again, I know several people that do this and one person I've known since high well,I've known two of the people since has school, but one of the people I've known since high school. I didn'tI wasn't good friends with this person and I haven't talked to this personabout it, but within the last, like two or threeweeks, she started posting on her snapchat that she had an only fans, soI feel like she's, sharing that with anyone. That's on her friend's list,that's known her since high school or whatever. So I feel like it's one ofthose things that a lot of these girls that may have been like hot growing upthey're, like you know what I know I was hot. I know a bunch of guys wantedto see me naked now they can pay for it and well, let's see I don't mean tointerrupt you here toobster, but I'm trying to like relate to this. I'mtrying to relate this to something else and there's nothing sadder than apodcast. That starts a patreon and has no supporters well, except for maybetheir aunts and uncles right. So would it be even worse if you had an onlyfans, nobody was paying for it. You...

...know, I don't know, I've never used it.So I don't know if you can see if there are people who have paid for it in the past orratings or whatever what Hav? No, I don't know about that, but, unlike Patreon, where you can kindof ask your mom to support you, so you look more prestigious podcast world gotyou get that one extra person on patron yeah right. You probably wouldn't dothat with your only fans account or maybe you would hey Nana. I got a athing going on here: Online yeah, that's that stuff on the computer. Iwas telling you about and I need some support. So what do you say? You give me some money to play with a vibrator. I don't know man, it's just it's just aweird thing. I don't know so. Mayb I'Mjustan idiot. No from myunderstanding how Patreon, wor or patron only fans works is you. You havea monthly subscription cost right, so if you're Sepcu well, I have a stupid,fake. Only fans, if you subscribe to me like you'll pay, whatever the minimumcost, is and then I think like. If I upload a video, I set a price on it. Idon't know what the minimum price would be, but I think you have to buy eachvideo. So it's kind of a weird deal. It's not like it's not like Netflix ErHulu, where you get a subscription and then you get all the content you want. It's like you get the subscription tothen pay for extra content is what, but I do think that you can. I don't knowagain. I don't know how it works. Really I don't just have one you don'tknow yeah well, I haven't haven't started trying to make my joke cometrue, yet and upload yeah, stupid, Sh right because you're lazy still I mean I just assume there has tobe ratings or reviews or something I mean other. Unless you just look and go.Oh Wow, this person has one thousand subscribers, that'simpressive, so they must be doing something. Good Right, yeah, I'm notentirely sure but hey I would I would that would be a cool system. If thereis like to be like five stars, she shows everything evenher butthole, but one ar she didn't show her but whole. Is that thecriteria that you be looking for? Well, no, I mean sure why not but you'rlike look at that Brown. I I am smashing that five star Button Baber,listen, I'm not I'm not talking bad about the the one friend that I don'tknow very well, but one day I opened my snapchat and it was censered, but shewas definitely just spreading her butt cheeks and I was just like Huh hm I mean you couldn't see anything youcould tell exactly what the picture was, but I was like weird. I never thought Iwould see this girl on a on a smartphone spreading her butt, cheeks,interesting, Iwas reaested. It's an honest way to make a book. Ou know whatI mean. Yeah I mean really it is. It is you're not like on the streetselling crack. No, you know you trying to make a in someone yo an some extrascratch yeah right exactly, you know not do anything bad and that's. Thething I think we have to drive home here is we're talking about it. MaybePoking Little Fun punintended here or there, but you know we respect whatother people do, especially in the sex industry. Yeah I' got no problem withthat. I think it's safer than some of the alternatives out there. So yeah Imean more power tomb, but it is. It is interesting that you decide to sharethat on twitter. Among your other look at my podcast. Oh Oh here's!Another thing, I'm scrolling through this. Now this thing: Oh Gos, I'mlooking at this young woman, but she has a checkout my list on Amazon. So that means you can also just buy hergifts but than I could get her a a salad, mixer or you know a robot vacuum, or somethingand she'Da do crazy shit for me. So I've got an ex girlfriend who was astreamer for a while she used to stream playing video games, nothing sexual.She wasn't like she didn't, have her tits out or anything like she just wasplaying a game, sh, she's, ditzy and kind of cute. I guess so guys wouldwould follow her. She had an Amazon wishlist too, and shetold me about one guy that she she would just throw her anom shit into herwishlist and again. This is on twitch, where she just playing video games.Some dude bought her a five hundred dolar gaming chair hm for nothing just because he wantedto support her, be careful, make sure they can't likefind you somehow or always use fake names and an aliens. You know what I mean likebecause that's like to me someone who's willing to do that. There's an issue.Yeah they're, not right! You know what I mean, so you don't want them to knownot only where you live, but basically like what hemisphere you live in. Youknow what I mean what planet you live...

...on. If exactly you just do not wantthat. But Tha. That's very interesting to me: I mean the other thing too, ifyou, if you got it flaunted right, yeah and again she wasn't doing anythingsexual. She was just like again: She's fucking ditzy and La she's, one of myfriends like we're friends at we're past our x thing. Like I love her todeath. She stupid his hellh yeah and- and I guess that's her cute charmed. Iguess to some people and yeah. She people bought her stuff and like theywould donate money to her playing and stuff, which I mean I know guys, can dothe same thing, but it's always the women that that get them weadonationsand stuff and well yeah again were dime a dozen Mi men were dumb, my joke aboutstarting the only fans was supposed to be like well. If women can do it, I canget a piece of the Pie, and then it was just supposed to be like a shock thingthat I could tell my friends like Oh yeah, I got an only fans and then the do you do and then they colook at it and there's videos, but I think it blocks them to where you can'tsee them, and you can just see the titles. That's why I was going to putlike stupid titles like man, please, with his Pussy Erman, please fat manplays with Pussy emphasize fat, yeah well yeah, becausethat'' gotto be a finish right. That's got to be like so yea into everythingfor everything you name it I mean I was talking to a buddy of mine, one timeand there's a fetish over air bags like yeah. I can't get over it. It's amazing to beHairbang. It really is yeah someone he this t, someone like there's a group ofpeople there's more than one do they like who want the air bags who mexplode?What's the word for it? You know yeah in their face. WAIRE discharge. That'sa fun word, but you know what I mean fucking: they want to Bram their faceinto a GODDAMN air bag and it turns them on yeah I mean I've seen likeweird fetishes, where people like popping balloons and sitting onballoons and stuff for weird stuff like that, but that's weirdlike I just want to get hit the face with this fucking plasticy rubberyfucking airbag. I don't know what Arbag Yat out of stuff this man, science ismade as science molecules of science. It's made of science yeah exactly soyeah, THAT'S WHA! I mean I'm not surprised by anything anymore or anykind of fetish that could be out there. I really wish people would buy US stuff.We should come out with a selling out Amazon list, but maybe they'd have to really be intoyeah fat, weird old, dudes or something and that's probably a fetish to yeah.We just haven't found our angle yet hey. Maybe we start that only fans for selling out, like you know you wall, toshow off your butt hole. Well, I oh I mean one star: How much are we makingyeah Welli'm? Telling you right now the reviews are going to plummet. They are gon a fucking plument. I dosay good luck to som a day. We just talked about her quiteextensively on the show. So again, more free plugs on the selling out show it wat least im Ma Day five. It was really about like the the industry and thework I feel like the conversation was yeah. I know matter ugs, but yeah. It'sabout the whole, because only fans is blown up like everyone like it's a big joke on a lot of socialmedia. Now I like O, I'm going to storten only fans. I see women postthat all the time on facebook and stuff, like oh thinking, about shorting andonly fans and to pay my bills, or I see people post only fans, but mejust eating pizza, like name post, Goofy, Sho. It's it's a pop culturereference now, Ohy God you're all hipping with it o how totick talk. You know how to I'm. What's it with someone with celebrities whenthey wish you a happy birthday or Somethingh Camio Camy Ho, yes, yeah, that'sanother one. We should start, we should started a selling out cameo. We can go,tell your boss to fuck off or something bucks. You know I don't know, but I always feel like so behind the timesand everything, because I'm of an age where I remember when the Internet wasfirst starting out and the possibilities were endless and it wasgoing to be a tool for information, knowledge and basically the good of allmankind. It quickly deteriorated into just being a massive tool for porn andshopping, and so it's ki of your buthole. Well, that's listen to son ofthe pornt category there, but I mean I almost feel like like how come I never really jumpedinto this at all and tried to capitalize on it and make money evenwith podcasting. I've never once tried to become rich off of it or try to notthat I could. But you know what I mean I wasn't like out. There Beg like: OhI'm Goin, to put this content on the Internet, so I can make it out O Mo.It's always been like more of I enjoy doing it. I like having my voice in myopinions out there so Vaa, yet there's... many people trying to monetize onthe Internet and the way is done, keeps changing yeah and I feel like in manyways I just can't keep up with the trends on that yeah facebook, twitter and instagram hasreally helped the influencer. Ah, yes, influence the INFLUTERMA, which I thinkIan Ew off a cliff. I think that's garbage the influencer thing I mean, if we're being honest, if you're, hotman or woman, if you're hot and you have a lot of followers, you're,basically going to make money on instagram. That's why we don't make Imoney on Instagram, okay, thanks for some of that up for meand when one lum you're, like you're, not hotlet'se, will never succeed on the World Wide Web. That is why we put our voicesonly out there I'll put my butthole out there. I don'tcare! Why would that even bother me like it'sjust my butt hole? Who cares yeah, but you know I would normallythink people would run and scream ind horror if they saw my brown balloon.Not, but no, you know some people dig it so how much o you think I could sell mybutt hole. For I mean I, wouldn't I wouldn't put a high priceon it. Just you know it started out kind of low and then like get a coupleof buyers and then maybe you could raise the price later, but I mean I'm not payin', never seen so Idon't know yeah you've never seen it so there you go, there's a little mystiquethere. So for you, I'm charging ten, oh, but that's that's almost like thepeople who would sell- and this again must be years ago now they would sell their dirty underwearon Ebay and stuff use to think like who. Who does that, but people would buydirty underwearing socks on Ebay. They probably still do it for all. I knowyeah. They do that' still thing now here this about a year ago there wasone of those streamers or cosplay people. I don't know who it was hotchick. Let's say that who was selling her bathwater? Oh, I remember that and wasn't it asupposed to be like a fake like the bath water, wasn't legit or somethingyeah yeah, something goofy like that, but yeah they and they sold a bunch ofit. So I mean people, I don't know it's bizarre. I got to say this: If youare the kind of person who would be interested in purchasing a picture of abut hole or dirty bath water, please contact us not to buy it from us. Well,maybe not right away, but to let us know what makes you what interested init and you can reach as easily as t e mentioned earlier on twitter or on ouremail account selling out show at GMAILCOM, because I need to get intopeople's brains with this. I got to try to figure out the whole mechanisms, aplay. Why? What's appealing to that, once you getthe bathwater, what are you going to do with it? You jerk off with it you drinkit. I don't don't get it. That's what mean Gargle it. I don't understand: Doyou keep it in a vilind? You have a collection on like a bookshelfsomewhere and you like lookin my bath watter collection that one over thereis beeless celebrities. This one is streabers, those are the MI Iluenter.This is an influencor SHELV. Yes, since, like I don't understand what you'd evendo with it once you had it the picture of something I totally, I totally getit. I know what you're doing with it: okay, WHA, a water. I think you're right, you just play itlike a Phune call pop. It's rare! That's right! That's that'sa rare! I was going to say: funkal POPs aren't very rare. They just so popculture now yeah, but bath water. There you go. That's the new beani baby,that's what that is! That's grandmives are collecting bath water.You know hat! I mean it's also like one of those things where, if you, let'ssee you've, got a kid, you might keep their hair from their first hair cut ortheir first lost tooth yeah, but you wouldn't keep their bathwater so, wherethe fuck does this come from? What what does it need to collect this to havethis? Do I just can't get it so again, if you think an I'm talking to thelisteners out there, if you think that's something that would interestyou, please do not hesitate to contact me. You can use anonymity. You don'tHavt to tell me you real name. Doesn't matter just tell me why I need to knowit's not king, shaming either we're not kingshaming. We just want to understandwhat it's for. I can't believe. That's a term king, shaming, yeah, you Kdon'tKink, shame come on like a you know, whatever o do what Youan, I just thinkit's funny, that's even a thing. Yeah like that's like we just come up withwords now for everything and anything it doesn't matter. It's like I'm makingfun of you for this, and I was Oh Youre Kink Jammi, shaming my king, shaming,Lingo, word yeah like it's weird. No, I'M NOT YOURT SHANIS! My kink, shamingword. No, I'm just ttelling you in the... world. I don't understand a lot ofthings. I D- I don't know if it's, because it's just me and I'm dumb, Idon't know if I'm behind the times and I'm old- it's just. I don't get it. I don't smack me toby,smack me right in the got damn mouth for five dollars. If I mibe go fivebucks and speaking of pay in the bills, I want to take this moment to thank theshows partners because they send me some great products that I enjoy andcoupon codes that I pass on to you, our lovely audience for a step. We haveAlpine Hampcom. The CBD Revolution has arrived. I talk about this. Every showI love CBD. I use it to sleep, I use it fom I have backpain, so muscle ailments youname it I mean it takes care of anything under the Sun. They got petproducts, they get coffees teas liquids. I could probably spend all day rattlingoff all the products that they do have and Alpine hamp is a great source ofthat and affordable. So make sure you check them out at Alpine hampcomnorthland vaporcom. I happen to be vaping on their blue rase. Liquid rightnow is a personal favorie to mine. I was a smoker for over twenty years and I needed to quit. I need somesmoking cessation because that stuff is nasty and bad for you toby. Do you likesmoking? I do not smoke. No YEA WER OV. I would love theirproducts, I'm sure. Yes, yes exactly, but I'm saying you've never smoked, noN, no, not at all right. It is hard to quit. Dude, it's not easy and beyondall that you've known smokers right, yeah, yeah, quite gross the grossesfuck I used to be gross as fuck, but now, thanks to north and vaporcom, youdon't have to be any more because all their e liquids are dyketone andartificial, sweeten or free. This is important because you get ta care aboutwhat you're putting in your body because out there traditional cigarettecompanies, don't they are trying to kill you, you don't get none of thatcrap over here at Northlarnd vaporcom. Now I keep mentioning thecom. They alsohave retail locations the good old, brick and mortar. He can find himINSELF. Fargo, North Dakota, morehead and Bemiji Minnesota, plus they have abrand new shiny location in Osgood, North Dakota and aws good to me soundslike one hell of a town. I don't know what you think. Tobster it'it's got to be like the wizard of Osright as got yea that there you go. It's all: Yellow Brick roads andhappiness, now, Bolmo sites and Munchkins everywhere, they're all overthe place and which is being flattened by houses both of these sites. You cansave nineteen percent off your entire order by using coupon code selling outnineteen. Last but not least, we have spunk Loub and award winning Lubercanused by professionals in the adult film industry, but why let them have all thefun now you can start your only fans right, you're going to need a littleslipping slide. Don't you an Goin there dries it to. I need to suggest it to myfriend, Huh Dere. You go tell her to go, get herself hooked up with some spunklue. They have a few great varieties and it is shipped discreetly to yourdoor. I always bring this up because people a weary, a buying product suchas Lube, because they're afraid their neighbors, the mal man, is going to seewhat they're getting in the mail and go. Oh Haa, what's going on here, doesn'thappen at spunk Lubcom now make sure you check them out, and you can thankme later tobster. What else is going on talk to me? You know want to make what I do have a question for you, HMM Anois.This is going to be one of those questions where I know what theansweris going to be. Okay, this, why I asked it, but because because I want tohear your opinion, okay, okay, we're both both guys right, we're both men,yeah dudes man, Yeah Guy, we're pretty we'e pretty manly, because we haveatoim wern fucking yeah, that's it! I'm, like. I told you I'm sitting here infucking American flag shorts in the middle of the day. Well, I'm okay! I guess I've had some. How do I put it self doubt: Lots ofSELFDOUBT, right and and being in the state of Texas everyone's a man's manright, and I guess well, the good old country boys think they'remanmen menally mansure Mayan whatever anyways. So what is it like? What is being a mannow because I see a lot of people post on on social media, we're going back tosocial media again of lying toxicmasculine and aculinity yeah,...

...but like IIS, our idea of like themanly men thethe picture of like the S and s oflike man going to work and coming home andhis stay at home. Wife like what what is being a man in Twi, think we justburt. While you were saying that I think I just heard hi like I did, Ihick up tit was any weird is icub. Oh I hickup. I was going to say what theremust be a term for that we have kink. Shaming ther must be something whenyou're, like speaking and releasing gas at the same time. LA's it toy. I don'tknow I I'm the wrong. You think you know my answer. What did you think myanswer was going to be well, I was thinking that it was going to besomething along. The lines of a man is someone that does write instea andtakes care of their family and Blah Blah Blah. I thought it was going to besomething like it doesn't matter. If you don't know how to use a change, your oil in your car, itdoesn't matter if you know how to use a chain saw, like you know, was expecting something along thoselines because, like I don't I mean, obviously I'm a man, but I'm I'm a big old pussy and I know it'slike II play Retro Video Games and I read comics and I know you read comicsand I'm not saying all people at read, comics or pussies or anything but likelike, but you watch sports. I don't watch sports, so you've got more maneronce I feel like right now. Oh all right! So there's like a chartor there's some kind of like check list. It's like one of those. Speaking of you know, someones sex. Idon't used to be in like the women's magazines at the end like find out ifyour boyfriend truly loves you take this quiz. Do you watch sports? That'swhat we you play. Video game make test antestLitmus Testand, how manly you are dude. I don't know I don't wantl. I mean it's like one of those thingsingrained in everybody's brain right. You think, if you don't defend a woman's honor or something ifshe's insult you know't open a door, I don't know whatever the case may be,that you're, not being a man or you're, not doing the right. Manly thing. Ifyou don't take out the garbage or like you said, you know how to use the powersaw. I don't fucking know so I guess for me now at this stage of mylife, it's more like just be a good person. Don't worry about what you gotdangling between your legs or what your plumbing is right. I don't know I mean that's my officialanswer to you. I don't think if you were you mentioned that you knowbecause you're single you kind of want to impress a woman and it might help ifyou were more manly. You know what nd that's where this thought comes frombecause, like I look at my tender profile, which I can't see other guysbecause I'm obviously looking for the women species, so I don't see otherguys to be like. Oh, I need to write that in my profile to compare so I haveno idea but, like I'm just honest on my thing and I'm like I play Video Games,I've got podcast and then I start thinking about it. I'm like man, Isound like a soft mother, Fucker Toby, you fucking, kill me, but I work in theOID field. That's pretty manly right, but hats, your fucking killing me H, myGod dude! You just said you created an only fans as a joke. You're too lazy togo with it right, but yeah, but here', something something more in the line.Right. Okay, is your love. Life is the future. So why don't you create a faketender and the make the profile all the things that you are not okay, theopposite of you with the same photo, don't fucking put like Bradpin on thereor something and see. If you have any more success, that's actually intrusingright. Should you change your hobbies and interests to more traditional test, osterone fuelthings and just kind of play, the great experiment here that is reallyinteresting: Huh, because I rarely get matches which I've never been a Guhender date anyway. So and it's been what almost a year and a half orwhatever yeah thatd be really, I might. I mighthave to venture into that, and hopefully I'll have an update next timewe speak and see just try it yeah wit. Wer Shit couldhappen what so. So? What would my my manly tender page say like T that youhate video games? No, I mean basically a Lote Sports. I like to Juggle ChainSaws Yeah, you know you're from Texas, so you love The Dallas cowboys orsomething yeah. You like the outdooro fishing and hunting yeah you'R Rih,well be careful with the gun thing because then you might be going too farinto the whole. Like Maga Republican, red, fucking, noble, Hey, hey that shitcategory. That could be part of the experiment to come on. Now. You would actually okay, here's aquestion for you. Okay, politically speaking, you were not a Republican.You were very oyou're, not political right. I am. I don't know where I ambecause that's how unpolitical I am. I don't know where I fall on the left andright scale that everyone's always...

...crying about. Okay, I have no clue like there's somethings. I guess I don't know. I Don'. I really don't know I'm just notpolitical. I don't follow politics. Okay, Do you hate immigrants? No, doyou believe in putting children in cages? No, do you call the coronavirusthe was it the Woohan flew the on Chinese Nflu Congarit is that's. What Iwas looking for. I camet came cut on my face is racist, would you say such athing? No, then, what the fuck are you talking about? You're, not you know, onthe side of the red you knowsome, evil, fucking bastard. Now I'm just sayingthis, because if I was single and like a woman who'slike fullon like yeah, I love trump was beautiful and hot, and she totally oneto hook up with me. Ind Be like get the fuck out of here. I don't care, I'm notputting my penis in you, you're gross. You Wont, be you. On the other hand,you would do that. What yes yeah, of course, e. You knowwhat I have noticed on on the the dating apisode F, for, like a manseeking woman about it's. This is probably wayexaggerated, but it feels like about. Seventy. Five percent of the profilesare like I'm in an open relationship me and my hubby ore. Looking for fun, okayand every time it's like. Well, I mean I get that you're looking forfun, but L, I don't know, that's it's a superpopular thing and it may just bethe area I live in, because I'm close to a more open town like the town I live inis like Hillbilly Central, the town. Like thirty minutes, south of me islike cool and hit and stuff, and maybe I just don't know, tha the HIP trens. Idon't know I don't know, but everyone's in an open relationship. It feels like.Do you really want a relationship ut you just want to hook up with somebody.No, no and that's why I haven't had haven't been like I don't know. Yeah you haven't haven't been. Ihaven't been successful with the tinder I should say because I'm not just likehey. What's up, I don't even know what to say to someone to just try to get tohook up like no but everybody's, going to sew their wild oats every once in awhile I mean you know, your gyms sock can only get so crusty. You know what Imean if you wash it enough, it's fine he's Faroh shut up shut up. You shutyour face, but you know I'm a saying yeah yeah, so I don't know. I don't know if, if dude like I've beenout of the scene for so long, I do recommend trying that whole reverseprofile thing to see. If that yields any results, but even then here we go thats ist, showing thatthere might be more people interested in that type of person. But that's notthe person for you right, yeah yeah. That would be the downfalls, like youknow, Super Hot chick that I'm like Oh yeah and then they're like Oh, but theylike they like this toby that I'm not and that sucks yeah man, I don't know the world haschanged a lot. Even when I was a little bit younger. Like ten years ago, wewere still meeting people online, but there was no tender. Then there wereother websites available and whatever, but I think a lot of people, too werejust using social media, like you find someone that has the same interest asyou do. Maybe Youd message them and who knows what happens after that, but hey GOI'm, fucking fish, oh Ogo, plenty of fish yeah, like nvictim, where I met my exwife Hawe yeah, but still it it was like you got something out of itright unless you complete completely consider whatever relationship you justhad a m waste of time. It was pretty wasn't much away. Well, I mean Oh Geez,you are a victim Notaman, I'm just a victim. Someone love me. Please someone love mepleasecom, I'm so alonecom l give me a will to live dot net yeah, I don't know buddy. I really. Ireally couldn't help you with that too much and I apologize but wol yeah. Ijust thought that's another thing. If I was looking for to another man for somemanly advice on how to be a man, I guess some sage wisdom that I could notprovide you. Let me down to like you know me, I'm just going to say just beyou just do you, you know what I mean and kind of roll with that, and thingsjust tend to happen now, its a little bit more difficult when you're, not inlike a social circle when you're a teenager right, you're in high school.So this girls, hallow Magin people are dating night. They break up every twominutes. College same thing see that Wen you'r Odulan, you work and you knowwhat have you it's a little harder to find the right person see and that'sthe weird thing that I have I run into. Is I work in the oilfield with themajority being men like we've got some office, women we've had women work in the field with us, butit's it's very far in few between and so like, I'm not in any kind of socialcircle where there's women so yeah.

That makes I lot more difficult to gothere. There's your answer start walking backr through the turnstyle. Ithink you should probably switch your affiliation. You team, you think Ishould be gay yeah. Maybe I mean because it's maybe there's a lot ofdudes out there who want a more you know: Feminite Fat Guy, I on'tknowjus, looking forlom in all the wrong places. You know well, yeah,maybe that's the I don't know we'll see. I mean Wat, eon step at a time. Let melet me try this reverse manly tender and then I might try grinder yeah. This might be amonumental episode for the selling out show. We just had toby well, not come out of the closet, butconsider peeking in and and seeing what goes on in there Soey more power to you yeah. So you know that's the thing manit's like. I was thinking about true love the other day, and you know I the people in my life inrelationships that I've had that I've loved. I did you know I cared aboutthem yeah, but I started thinking about, and this is kind of weird. I almostfelt like like a beautiful mind or like a mad scientist, Heri Sall, likenumbers and graphs in front of me. You know in my minds I go in well, if youthink about everything on the grand scheme, first, geographically andregionally, where you're located. What are the odds of you finding that truesoulmate or the definition that we can kind of conceive as being a soulmatenear you, probably very slim, then even then, globally right, you probably haveno opportunities to travel and meet someone from across the world, and thenage right were. Who knows? Maybe someone who is most like you are mostcompatible with. You is eighty years old and their time is pastor. Maybethey had dead, maybe they died two centuries ago. I don't know, but you know, but you know what I'msaying like the whole idea of true love such stupid thing to me like for peopleto think that something that you can achieve or find or it's a quest. I must find my soulmateyou're a fucking idiot. You know everybody settles everybody, but he'sgoing to be happy enough that where you do finally, you know, hang your hatthat you're going to be contented. That's it man, like people, romanticizeeverything about romance to the point of nausea, and it's just like chill out.We just got to get through this together, we're all this fuckingmudball float through the Cosmos right wellfloating in orbit around the Sun, but you know we try to think that we're allindividuals and special and unique can we all deserve these great things morethan anybody else, and what have you and that's not true, it isn't true. Sothe concept of true love is just fucking false, false thing that we keepfucking clamoring for, like idiots sorry, to ruin your day, hey yeah.There was no nates notes, but there was Daves notes today, a little Davesdepressing rant Ho takes a dump on life yeah. Maybe, but you know that I urge anybody outthere listening to what I just said to think about it a little bit and if you ere still a a believer andyou're going to be able to find that one special person created just for youand only you and you were going to lock eyes and fall in love and make childrenin the world is Nirvana. You know, you'R come on, come on again ilike.When I earlier, I asked for that that person who's got like the weirdfetishes on bath water to reach out. Yet again, if you ere a believer intrue love, and you contest what I just said, selling out show at GMILCOM. I want toher from you as well yeah and if you're my trio lat's, let's in the search getme let's get you this is. I was gon say: Let's get you laid but youwere, justlike we and idwe endorsed sex workers earlier in the show, I was going to sayjust go out and there's nothing wrong with that. I just you know I don't know I youfaked off, I don't know if I could pay for it. I mean I s like an awkward exchange of like othere's, no build up, there's, notthere's not like H. we've been talking and having a good time and now we'regoing to do this deed. It's just like all right. So you know how much perhour. Okay, let's go over here and do h. You know that's weird there you goingagain with like there has to be some kind of connection or ther hase to be. You know some kind of spark between youbefore things happen, which isn't the case Hat's like saying you go toMikides and before you buy a bag of French fries, you got to get to knowthe cashieer better. First Wel you don't, you know, ask them how theirdayis, what's their name even Ha. What's your Si Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah? Iget it, can I gess, I all the EST year. I need someone else. Is We don't match?I like a large fry, but first can you please tell me your favorite color?What kind of music do you like please... R, but you know, come on dude if,like that, was your intention or your need as something you should certainlyagain go out and explore. I don't see any issue with that or ther should beany stigmata behind it or or it's just for their teams. Yeah I mean I guess, if you're notwilling to go out and pay for a little little fun with the opposite sex. Maybeyou should just stick to the oil fields. Go around showin off you but hole yeahand see what see what kind of takers you have a there. We go. You know itall comes back to my butt hole. Somehow always five stars e star Howi Imagi, that HAG, like I've,got a three star rating in my butt hole on travelosity, Hey, there's a there's:a foot rating website have you ever heard of that like celebrity feet orsomething where you can really, you can rate their feet. We should start thismortifying but whole. What's Thi, we should start the the butwhole ratingwebsite. I trying to think of the criteriainvolved into ranking a good bot hole you'd, be like no debris. No, no. Imean Lik it look at that. Tartness. Look at this look! Look at how it'stucked in just right. Look at thet look at thit's got a natural blend of colors.Yes, it's natural, no spottiness! Oh look at how it puckers up. Look at itpucker all the judges give us straight ten for Canada and Canadas Buhole, butI mean yeah that'd be weird. I remember when Iwased to work with this guy years ago, and I'm talking this is like twentyyears ago there 's a website called rate, my pout. I think it Wascom, itwasn't even poop, but it's Poot, no son. I did not huh okay, you hear in a voice, okay, go outthe other room and I'll be out in like shortly. You say: Okay, I love you toKato Okay by Bud close both doors there please, okay. Now that was an awkward interaction. We jertalking about content like that and your eight year old comes in the room.I says: Oh, I thought I heard something did you say my name? No Yeah? Hopefully he's not scarred forlife, but my I'm probably shouting to right my poop, but there's dude and he was likewhipping on his phone. He Showim Hee's, like yeah dude, everybody rates,everybody else's Turds, an I'm like. Are you serious? This is the thing, andthis is also how you occupy your time like when you're on break or whatever Iused to read a book. I mean I draw times of chat lunch yeah well, not eventhet. This is this is way back. You know when and that's why I told youlike the Internet. Was this great thing to begin with, we ruined it so fast,but yeah. That's how he entertained himself was looking at people's poo intoilets, so yeah, I don't think right, nother people's buttholes or whateveris out of the realm with P. It exists. It must exist, we're not treading onnew ground here yeah. I bet you're right, it's already out there. It is.It has to be there's nothing. I couldn't think of anything new that wecould contribute to the interwebs of any no other than our humble littleconversations like we're sharing today yeah about people's Buthles Yeah, youknow. Well let me let me change Ya topic, real quick, because we don'thave a lot of time left here, okay, but I was trying to get really political onyou earlier. You would have none of it, because you only care if a chick is hot.That's right here about her political affiliation like I do, because I havemoral fiber. Thank you very much yeah, but I participated in early voting Nice.I was not aware that I went on the first day that it was available, so itwas busy is hell. Yet I was very happy that I did so andI like the convenience of it, so I do want to urge every listener of thesenling out show to make your voices heard just like we do on this show byvoting what AAs going to say, whoever you want to vote for, but you obviouslyknow where I lean. I am blue all the way up and down my head to my nose. I made my head to my toesto my balls, everything to be Blue Yeah blueball. Looking for I do I do rightnow. Yes, especially with all this netting, I have in thes American flag, not it's gotten off thecirculation, that's whether it is something something's going on downhere and it isn't good. It's not good at all, so yeah, but yeah definitely goout and vote toby. You GOIN NA vote. No, never you put the fuck year. You wantmy political view, real quick! No, I want you to vote. No, the president isa scam. That's a mascot of America. We have a mascot WHO's, the lead singer,that everyone thinks they love and stuff, but it's really the two otherbranches that write all the songs. The're th t e Hitmakers, and if youreally want to be political, don't do... every four years. Do it when theyre,when the other two branches have major things happening like watch thosebranches, not the lead singer, because guess what the band is fucking awesome.Sometimes you know Wa watch the band, not the fucking,Leavhu Haha Alisten to you! LISTEN TO YOU! U Making that analogy to like wementioned earlier and there's no nates notes, but Youe brought music. There'sthere's the music reference, but that's I do anthing. I think the president isbecause everyone knows the the lead singer of a band. You know MIT's, very, very rare, that you know the people in the band so yeah. I thinkthe the president. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter for the presiency. Oh,I don't know about that. There Kidto, especially when the presient is a bigfat idiot who can't keep his mouth or twitter account shut. Just continues toembarrass US himself. You know for the rest of the world withhis vile, racist and just bluntly evil comments, but hey what, but he loves God, Oh yeah, sure yeah sure, there's a bhole. You can rake caus's a big butt hole on his face, but his mouth zero stars, Donald Man, Zeros, yes,zero stars for that fucking piece of Shit, but anyway yeah so early votingis great. I lost my train of thought, but yeah so make sure you go out and dothat, though, like seriously like there's no fucking harm in it. It's notlike whatever I mean a lot of countries. You can't so I hear you have to if yougo vote that makes you really manly to so hmmit. Does your test osteroneshoots through the Gosh Darn roof? Let me tell you you could do an only fans,you can say hey hop on my only fan's account and if you pay me so much moneyI'll vote this way. OSHU OAA sold my Ingo. So you can sell your vote. Justdon't get caught. Yeah, I'm sure, there's probably highly illegal, maybemaybe, but then you go to you can make policy. If youere a politician haveyour only fans and if you're on my only fans accountyou can. Let me let me know what you prefer. Would you like better healthcare, or do you want me to to build a wall tokeep immigrants out that really aren't doing us much harm whatsoever anyway,but I like to spread dangerous rhetoric with that but whole I call a mouth soyeah all right, man toll, I sto, you gotanything else. You want to add to our program since I just ended it on such ahigh note- and I know, there's Goinna be people who say: Oh I hate it whould,you fucking guys get political, don't talk, politics come on. You guys are sofunny when you don't talk politics, but to that I say fuck off yeah I mean comeon. I even ISS out because I'm nonpolitical and you know it all-worked out. It's okay, fuck off toby to fuck you so anyway, do you haveanything worthwhile to contribute. You know show before you go check myclothes, my only fans yeah. What was the link to that again?Only Fanscom Toby Vondoom, just like all my other social media, Toby vonDoom at Toby Vondo. One word: no capitals. Just look me up on everythingand if you know anybody who is single ready to mingle wants themselves a verygentle sold teddy bear. Who knows Jack Shit about politics other than makingmusic analogies make sure to writ us. Email look up toby on twitter. Let'sget this guy, let's get him something going on, I'm sick of it! Man I mean I'm tellingyou man, it's too long too long. We need to get you someone anybody anyoneanybody yeah! So So, if you know anybody who basically has a pulse breethes contact us, you gotta Nic, HoGrandma, that's single sender, my way: Little Silver, Cotton Candy for theTobsteret Mabe Gag all right! Well, that's a great way to and the show tobyis Gagin. I am Dave, and this has been the selling out show.

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